Fake It
by MellyHorror-Salvatore-Northman
Summary: Jade's a great actress and is amazing at fooling everyone, everyone except for Tori. Jade's falling down a dark path and Tori's the only thing keeping her afloat. Will Jade fall down or will new found love pull her free? M. Jade-centric.
1. Chapter 1

**Title: Fake It**

**Summary: Jade's a great actress, one of the best Hollywood Arts has ever seen. She acts okay, and everyone believes her, everyone that is, except for Tori. After her second break up Jade runs back to her old habits and her bad friends with bad reputations and worse habits. Jade's spiraling down a dark path with only her new found friendship with Tori to keep her a float, will Jade fall down, or will new love pull her free?**

**Rated: M**

**This story does deal with darker things like underage drinking, some drugs, sex and other things like that. if its not your cup of tea, don't read it then. You've been warned, and if you continue I hope you like the story. **

**I don't own most of the characters.**

It's been nearly one month now, one month since I walked out on the best thing in my life. The best thing that's happened to me since I got my very first video camera right before my parents separated. I dig my nails into the palm of my hand, my bottom lip is clenched between my teeth and I feel ready to burst into tears. Loose strands of hair dance across my bare shoulders in the breeze, the ends of my pony tail tickling the back of my neck and making my shiver.

"_Okay, I'm going to walk out that door and I'm going to count to 10." _

Cat had said something, but the anger swallowed the others and washed them from the memory. It was only Beck, me and Vega's front door in my memory now. And even then, the memory was mostly a blur of pain, anger and fear. The fear he wouldn't walk out the door after me. The pain when he didn't. The anger at myself for risking it.

"_If I get to ten and you're not out there, I'm going home, and we're over." _

There had been a chilly breeze that night; I remember pulling my leather jacket tight over my chest and shivering as I yelled the numbers at the door. It was really the only thing I felt, that cold. I'd heard a commotion, I think Cat told me Trina had tackled Beck to try and keep him from the door. I don't remember.

I should have opened that damn door and just apologized, told him I was acting like a stupid gank. But I just couldn't force myself to open the door; I just couldn't do it anymore. I couldn't do that to him anymore. He deserved better then what I could give him right now. Better then I could ever give him when even he couldn't keep me held together anymore.

But boy am I regretting that right now.

I had headphones pressed over my ears, pointless guitar tracks slam against my ears, blocking out the world around me. I'm perched on my roof, staring down at the empty pool below me, absently wondering how much it would hurt to fall into the deep end of that thing, if I'd die quick or if I'd lay there in misery in a pool of my own blood.

I can feel my phone vibrating against my leg, and I know who it is. Vega. She's been calling me all night, we were supposed to work on a project but I didn't feel like going over to her house and if I ignored her it worked out for me. Finally, my phone gave a short vibrate. A text message. I sigh and pull the phone out. I can't ignore goody goody forever.

From: Vega

_I'm at your house. Your dad let me in. _

I curse under my breath and put my phone back, pulling one of the headphones off of my ear to listen for Vega to open my door. It took her about five minutes to make it up and she gave a timid knock before opening the door. "Jade?" she calls, I hear the door swing shut behind her and she sighs when she doesn't see me. I'm sitting off to the side of the window, so she can't see me where I'm at.

"Out here, Vega." I call back, rolling my eyes. Maybe if I stay out here she'll go away. Maybe, just maybe she'll leave me alone. When I hear the sounds of her climbing out onto the roof I hastily wipe the tears from my face and pray that my makeup isn't smudged too much. Why do I care if Vega knows I was crying? I don't know.

She settles on the roof beside me, from the corner of my eye I can see her arms are wrapped around her bare legs and she's resting her chin on them while she stares up into the sky. I glance down and see she's wearing basketball shorts that fell down her thighs since her legs were bent, _Stop staring Jade._

"Are you alright?" I turn to her and scoff, giving no real answer.

We sit wrapped in verbal silence for awhile, the guitar track is still slamming against one ear, I take an occasional sip of my coffee and Vega picks up her phone a few times and taps on the screen before putting it away again and staring back out at the sky. "You know you can talk to me, Jade. You talked to me once." She comments. I turn my eyes toward her, she's still looking up at the sky but now she's leaning back as if she's basking in the moon light.

"And what will I say? I broke up with Beck and now I'm sad boo-hoo me? I don't need to talk, Vega, and if I did I certainly wouldn't talk to you." I snap harshly, she hardly flinches at the words, instead she sighs like she's dealing with a moody child's temper tantrum when they can't have the new toy they want.

"And who would you talk to Jade? You don't have friends, remember? '_Tori's not my friend, I only tolerate Robbie, no one likes Trina and Cat's basically a pet.' _Well maybe Andre is your friend, you gunna talk to him? I'm sure he'll tell Beck all about it." She replies, there's not a harsh tone to her voice but I can detect the smallest amount of sarcasm seeping into her voice. I almost smile. Almost.

"I don't need friends." I retort, "And there's nothing wrong with talking to a pet."

Tori rolls her eyes at the words and turns so she's facing me full on, "Look, everyone else might be fooled by your acting, but I'm not. I don't care if you talk to a tree, talk to someone. But for now, let's get our stupid history homework done so I can go home." Now the sarcasm has a bite and again I feel myself almost smile.

"You've got everyone fooled, Vega." I tell her, she gives me a confused glance but I don't give her time to question me as I motion her back inside my room. She crawls through the window and drops down into my computer chair like she owns the place, her eyes watching me closely as I climb back through.

"Fooled how, Jade?" she asks when I'm inside. I shrug in response and pull a second chair over to the table where we have a small poster written up with a mini-concentration camp model half way done. When we were first assigned the project of picking a part of World War Two to focus on Vega's hand shot up at the mention of the Holocaust. Everyone else wanted to do war weapons-it wasn't some big tragedy and they didn't have to do much to find information on weapons.

Honestly I was kind of happy to do the Holocaust, it'd been one of the only things Vega and I could agree on, and it was the only thing in History I'd really ever paid attention to, because it still baffled me how any human could blindly hate a whole race of people. Then again I blindly hate Vega, sure her first impression wasn't the greatest, but she wasn't a bad person. I was.

I sat on my chair watching as she neatly finished writing our report and after awhile I started tinkering with our mini-concentration camp model. The thing itself was able to move from one paper to another. The first had the general layout of where every building was located, and the second showed the path planes took bombing-taking out the factories and other things around the camps but not the camps themselves.

While I doodle on a piece of paper I watch Vega work, she's focused blindly on the project, strands of her brown hair rolling over her face from her sloppy ponytail and her glasses are sliding down her nose almost off. After a few minutes I slide back and watch as she finishes our project. I'd done work on the model and some research, but I was no good at writing posters because my hand writing was more of a scrawled out mess then actual writing.

She'd been putting up with my pessimistic attitude since we'd been assigned to the project a month ago, shortly before the break up, and we were meant to start it the day after we broke up, she smartly left me alone the next day but the day after that she stood outside my house pounding on my front door and calling me- thanks to Cat for giving her my address and phone number- until I let her in.

I'm not sure why I still act like I hate her, I don't hate her, but I sure did when I walked in that day and found her rubbing all over my boyfriend. Who would like a girl doing that? But when I faked that black-eye and she didn't say anything, I stopped hating her. I'm not saying I like her, but I certainly don't hate her, even if I act like I do. "Jade?" she's snapping in front of my face, her fingers smell like pen and marker and I slap her hand away quickly, glaring up at her face. She's standing in front of me, hands on her hips and an angry scowl on her face, "I ask you to do one simple thing and you can't even do that!" she huffs, storming toward my bedroom door.

What? And then she starts to reach for my door knob, "No!" I hiss, surging forward and yanking the door open before she can touch it. She rolls her eyes telling me she was probably talking about me not getting up to open the door for her in the first place since I didn't want the permanent marker getting everywhere, there was already a red smudge on my door from the first day. I push open the bathroom door for her and flick on the water before walking back into my bedroom and returning to the wooden chair I'd been sitting in before, this time I sit backwards so I can rest my head on the back.

I run my finger over a crack on it from where Beck and I snapped the ancient thing one day playing around. He was tickling me and we both fell back over the chair and the back of it snapped and my dad was so angry is face was a red as a tomato, I couldn't stop laughing. My heart aches as I think of Beck, the little hole growing a little bigger. I fold my arms over the back and rest my face on them, watching Vega walk back into the room. She pauses to softly shut the door behind her and sits back down at the desk, scribbling more things down. I suppose I should be helping, but I don't feel like it.

Tori is too nice to say anything. She's wasted all of her stored up mean on insulting me about not having any friends. Instead I notice her copying the words she wrote onto my paper in a perfect mimic of my handwriting. She scribbles Jade West at the top and tears it out of her note book, setting it on the keyboard silently.

"Can you at least help me carry this down to my car?" she asks. I nod slowly, standing up and grabbing the two papers and the model while Tori packs up her bag and grabs the big poster. She opens the doors for me and I place it into Trina's trunk, she slams it closed and walks over to the driver's seat. I watch her leave, I'm not sure why, and then I march into my house and up to my room.

I lay down on my bed, kicking my boots across the room as I slide my jeans off as well, they pool at the bottom of my bed and I draw my knees up into my chest, squeezing my eyes shut tight. Downstairs my dad is thumping around in his office like he always does. He's always downstairs, he's never here. The only people that have been up here since we've bought the house were me, the movers, a doctor, my little brother who used to come every other weekend and now stops by once in a blue moon, Beck and Vega.

My dad hardly ever sees me, and he talks to me even less. Once in awhile he'll leave a message on the bulletin board in the garage-the only place we have in common- that he won't be home for a week or something trivial like that. We do how ever; share the floor of my room. My floor is the ceiling of his office. When I was younger I'd curl up on the floor right over where his desk was and press my ear to the floor so I could hear his voice. He was usually arguing with someone about something, but it was the only time I really got to hear his voice back then.

Now I had my bed between me and that place on the floor and a whole world-no a whole life between us. I didn't know much about him, he probably didn't know much about me. I knew his signature, though, a simple 'D' and then some chicken scratch and a 'W' and more chicken scratch. I'd learned it when I really wanted to go on a school field trip to the aquarium to watch the shark feeding time, and I'd been using it ever since.

I knew he had the same brown hair I once had, and light colored eyes. These were things I'd learned from an old family photo hanging over the fire place in my living room. It was of my mom, dad and me, my brother wasn't born until they'd separated and my mom had the most custody over him, at least he was wanted.

Maybe if I tried harder my parents would have liked me, I wasn't exceptional at anything that they valued as 'good'. To them art was stupid and pointless. And art, creation, acting, singing, writing, directing. I was great at that, I was fantastic, but that wasn't what they wanted. That wasn't good enough.

It's not that I didn't try, I did, I tried hard. I was a straight A, pony-tail haired, sweater-vest wearing nerd. I was in AP Calc by my Sophomore year and English Three Honors-because they refused to let me into AP-. The only thing I wasn't overly talented in was Science and that was just fine with me. Now I was in AP Lit, College Algebra, Honors US History and General Science. If I didn't want to stick around through the last year of high school I could do early graduation, but now I can take a lot of Art classes and maybe an English and math. Of course most of my friends don't even know what classes I'm in, except for Robbie who I share a lot of classes in.

People just assume I never go to class because they don't know of anyone who talks about Jade West in their classes, the seniors here mostly stick to themselves, so I don't have to worry about it and Robbie values his life and thinks I'll stab him with my scissors if he told anyone. I wouldn't though. What do I care if people know I'm smart? I roll over onto my back and stare up at my ceiling, blinking at it trying to make strange patterns appear or give myself a headache. Neither happened so I gave up, picked up my phone and turned on my Pandora application while I rolled out of bed and padded softly down the hallway to a sound proof room and shut myself in.

I put my phone on the speaker system, clicked a random playlist and plunked down in a bean bag, turning on my TV and Wii, since it was the game station that was last used by my little brother to play Mario Cart or something. I put in one of the Resident Evil games, turned up the volume on my speakers and let the music blast through the room. I hummed along to a few songs while I blew zombies heads off level after level. Since I figured I wasn't getting any sleep tonight at least I could pass the time somewhat amused.

A new chapter was loading when the song changed over to a Seether song; I roll my eyes, "Who's to know if your soul will fade at all, the one you sold to fool the world, you lost your self-esteem along the way. Yeah." I tapped my foot to the beat and zoned in on the zombies, "Good god you're coming up with reasons, good god you're dragging it out, good god it's the changing of the seasons!" I pause in my singing to sit forward and focus on the zombie trying to eat my character.

"Fake it if you don't belong here, fake it, if you feel like affection, wooaaah you're such a _fucking_ hypocrite." I grinned as I took a zombie's head off and it slumped to the floor. I was up close so the digital blood shot everywhere and covered the camera a bit.

"And you should know that the lies won't hide your flaws, no sense in hiding all of yours, you gave up on your dreams along the way. Yeah. Good god you're coming up with reasons, good god you're dragging it out, good god it's the changing of the seasons, I feel so raped. So follow me down, and just fake it if you're out of direction. Fake it if you don't belong here, fake it if you feel like affection. Wooaaah you're such a fucking hypocrite. Ah shit." I cursed as one of those gross skinless-tongue flickers lashed out and cut my life down to half.

When I finally died for the fourth time I shut the game off, pulled my phone off of the jack and walked back down to my bedroom. It's about three in the morning and its quiet in my house, my dad must've finally gone to bed. I'm silent as I pull my jeans back on, tug a hoodie over my head and slip some tennis shoes on my feet. I load my pockets with my phone, headphones, keys, wallet and a pack of gum- just in case. I pad silently down the 12-step stair case and tiptoe over to the door leading from the kitchen into the garage. I slip into the garage, out the side garage door, and out the gate.

My dad might not ever talk to me, but he had the ears of a bat and if I went out the front door he'd murder me because that door was on his side of the house. The kitchen and the garage were on my side, so I could slip in and out as I pleased. I did so frequently, unlike Vega pointed out, I did have friends.

Just not any that she knew I knew.

Outside the air was still chilly and the wind tossed my pony tail around. I reached up and yanked it out, letting the thick black curls fall around me. I felt more surrounded that way. My jacket and hair seemed to provide cover, shielding me from prying eyes-which at three in the morning I really did want to be hidden from.

Three doors down there's an empty-looking lot, and inside that lot is the doors to a basement of a house that was torn down years ago, all that is left now is the basement. I walk up and kick the door four times in a short beat. I bury my hands in my pockets and wait for a few minutes.

It's not long until the door opens and a head of curly blonde hair appears attached to the face of Courtney Van Cleef. I scowl at her and she steps out of my way. I jog down the steps while she secures the door behind me.

"What are you doing here?" Courtney asks, "Does Beck know you're here?"

"Beck doesn't control me." I hiss, turning on her in a blind rage, "does Sinjin know you're here?" she visibly gulps and raises her hands in surrender from where I've pinned her against a wall with just a glare. I roll my eyes at her and step away to let her scurry off. As soon as she's gone an arm is slung over my shoulder. It's heavy and the scent of cigarettes and vodka is accompanying it. When I look over at the owner I find its Ryder Daniels.

"Funny seeing you here so soon, what happened to 'it's a one time thing.'?" He asks, giving me a strange smile I don't want to read into. I shrug his arm off and step away a bit, "You miss me that much?"

"No, I miss feeling _numb _that much." I reply easily. He shrugs, muttering something that sounds like the 'same thing.' As he walks away he takes my hand and pulls me off to a back corner. The whole basement is filled with smoke and loud music, laughter and the sounds of sexual activity in the farthest back area of the basement.

Ryder hands me a cup of something and gestures for me to sit on an old tattered couch. I oblige and drop down onto the old couch, the scent of stale cigarettes engulfs me but I lean back, burying myself in the couch while I take a large gulp of the vodka. It burns down my throat before it settles in my stomach with a warm tingling feeling and I close my eyes sighing happily.

Four large cups later and I'm snuggled up with Ryder kissing up my neck and drawing patterns on my side through my shirt. My sweater is draped over the back of Ryder's couch and the loud music from the basement is replaced by the sounds of the TV a room over where someone is probably passed out.

Ryder's kisses move from my neck to my lips and his hands are grabbing my hips and pushing me back until he's hovering over me, our tongue battling for dominance while his soft fingers trail up my shirt.

Just like I total Vega, a guy this perfect had to be hiding something. I tangle my hands in his hair and yank him closer. His hair isn't as great as Beck's but it looks the same in my drunken state and neither of us gives a shit anymore.


	2. Chapter 2

**Fake It**

**Jade's a great actress, one of the best Hollywood Arts has ever seen. She acts okay, and everyone believes her, everyone that is, except for Tori. After her second break up Jade runs back to her old habits and her bad friends with bad reputations and worse habits. Jade's spiraling down a dark path with only her new found friendship with Tori to keep her a float, will Jade fall down, or will new love pull her free?**

**Rated: M**

**I do not own the characters mentioned, the places mentioned, or anything else. If I did jori would be canon and it wouldn't be on Nick anymore.**

**Well here goes Chapter Two. I hope you guys like it. It's a new genre for me and I hope I'm doing a good job!**

"West, get up." Ryder's voice growls in my ear. I blink rapidly, stretching out slowly. I groan when my skin peels away from his leather couch. He's sitting on the end of the couch in a pair of boxers with a cigarette hanging from his lips nearly falling out.

"What time is it?" I groan, running my fingers through my tangled hair. Ryder's eyes flick across the room for a second and then he sighs, searching around on the floor for something. He holds up a phone triumphantly and unlocks it.

"It's five thirty." He answers, "Do you want me to drive you home?"

I roll off of the couch and look around the room, my eyes flicking over his clothes and spotting a few of mine until I locate my bra and lace underwear lying by his feet. I get up quickly and snag the underwear from the ground, pulling it on and clasping my bra behind my back. "Your shirt is over there." He points vaguely across the room as he takes a deep drag from his cigarette. I walk across the room and slide on my black and orange flannel shirt back on. My tank top is missing, but I can't be bothered. I yank my jeans on and button them, "I put your shit on my dresser."

"Thanks." I grumble, walking over to the dresser and loading up my pockets. I locate my socks, put them on and jam my feet into my boots, "I wouldn't decline a ride home." I tell him. He nods, pulling on his jeans and a sweater. He tosses mine to me and we walk out his door in silence. This isn't the first time this happened and I doubt it would be the last.

Before I met Beck I knew Ryder, his mom lived two houses down from my dad so we were friends. And after awhile we were more then friends, it only stopped once I started dating Beck. And it didn't take me longer then 4 days to turn to him when I couldn't deal with my feelings. He made everything go away, he made me numb. I didn't have to deal, because frankly I wasn't strong enough to do so.

"I hope your hangover isn't too bad." He mutters, pushing the front door open. The streetlight burns my eyes and something explodes in my head. Yep. Light, I hate it. Other then light sensitivity I've never really had bad hangovers, at most I'd have a dull aching in the front of my head, but today it only hurts in the light. I squint as we head out to his car. His new house was about four blocks away. The ride was short and silent, as soon as we reached my house I scrambled out and stumbled inside, slamming the front door behind me.

The house is quiet and empty, the streetlight casting a yellow glow across the living room. I climb the 12 stairs and walk into my bathroom, robotically stripping, showering and toweling off. When I get out I turn on my flat iron, something I haven't used in awhile, and I cross into my bedroom and stare at the pile of black and purple clothes nearly exploding out of my closet.

While I stare at it I slip on a clean bra and matching underwear. I rub my towel over my hair while my eyes scan the clothes. Jeans, skirts, shirts. Boring, boring, boring. I dig around until I find a cotton dress. It's black, falls to my knee with a scoop-neck that's covered over with lace. I haven't worn it in forever, and I couldn't tell anybody when the last time I'd worn it was, but it looked nice and I felt like putting some effort into my looks today. For the past two weeks I've pulled on a pair of jeans and a random shirt blindly, leaving my hair to curl around however it wanted.

I snagged the dress off of its hanger, grabbing a pair of lacy stockings and some heeled pumps before I go back into the bathroom. It takes me about thirty minutes to straighten my hair and another 10 minutes to get it completely flat. Once I was done I did my makeup lightly, some eyeliner, mascara and lip gloss, and then I pulled the stockings, dress and shoes on.

I stare at myself in the mirror, half considering changing, but instead I shrug and go grab my school bag, pack everything into it, grab my leather jacket, and go down to my car. I toss my bag into the passenger seat, put my keys in the ignition and start the car, pressing the button for my garage door while I put my seatbelt on. As soon as its open all the way I back out, close the door and wait until it's all the way down to drive off. At a stop sign I plug my phone into the jack and turn on the playlist I'd had on last night, letting the song blast through the car louder then I needed too.

I look both ways four times before I roll through the stop sign, slowly gaining speed as I make it onto a main road, heading for the Starbucks next to our school, its quarter to seven now, and school starts at five after seven. I pull into the coffee shop parking lot and park next to Beck's familiar red truck. Something in my chest aches, but I ignore it, locating my wallet and pulling out five bucks to get coffee and breakfast.

The suns finally starting to rise behind me, and casts a strange glow through the shop window as I enter. Beck is standing at the counter with Andre and I spot Vega and Cat sitting near the back of the shop, close together whispering to each other. Cat's got a cup of water in one hand and a bagel in the other. Vega's just got a coffee.

I'm in line behind Beck and Andre and I busy myself with my phone while he places his order and a girl behind the counter rushes to fill it. I step up to the counter behind him waiting for the pimply faced teen behind the counter to ask for my order, the second he sees me he jumps, I raise an eyebrow at him.

His face mixed with smoke flits through my mind, "Venti Mocha Frappuccino." I mutter the order under my breath, watching Beck and Andre out of the corner of my eye, "and a plain doughnut."

"N-name." the boy stutters. I doubt he's a boy, but he looks barely sixteen even though the facial hair contradicts it.

"Jade." I reply; I'm not sure why he looks so scared. I'm actually being nice-for me, but it's not really my problem. He nods and asks me to wait after he hands me my doughnut and I pay. I pick at it carelessly, popping a few bites into my mouth. I'm standing awkwardly next to Beck, only a few feet between us at the small counter, and Andre who is on the phone. Beck keeps toying with his phone and running his fingers through his hair. I sigh when he does it for a forth time, his eyes flick toward me. I brush a strand of hair out of my face and blow out hot air, my eyes turning to the ceiling.

"Jade! Beck! Andre!" Cat's bubbly voice pierces my ears. I cringe, Beck flinches, Andre groans, and I hear Vega let out a sigh from behind her, "Jade, you look really different today. It's nice!" she blurts, rolling from her heels to her toes giggling like a maniac.

"Thanks, Cat." I mumble.

"Beck." The girl behind the counter calls out, when he turns to accept his coffee and Andre's and when she gives him a flirtatious look and it takes all my willpower not to give her a death glare. He's not my boyfriend. I can't get mad at girls for flirting at him, "Jade." She calls again.

I snatched my coffee angrily with a huff, the girl looks startled but I don't care, instead I walk out, leaving behind Cat, who had been talking to me still, Vega and Beck. The bell dings as I step out and I nearly slam into Ryder as I go around the corner. He grabs my shoulders to keep me from falling over and has this flirty-ass look on his face, he's startled when he sees its me, "you look nice, West. Glad to see you out of the clothes littering your floor."

"Sad to see you're still in the clothes on your floor, Daniels." I reply, stepping around him and moving to my car. When I get to my car I realized Vega, Cat and Beck had been behind me. Beck is frowning and giving me this look that says 'what are you doing moron'. Vega is frowning and looks a bit worried as she bites her lip, and Cat is just confused.

I get into the car, set my drink into the cup holder and back out of my space, not bothering with my seatbelt as I drive one block over to school. I toss my wallet and phone into my bag, grab my keys and my coffee and get out. I lock my car and toss my keys into my bag while I walk up to the school. After Beck and I broke up every second people were staring at me and whispering, I'd grown used to it, so when people are whispering as I head into the school I ignore it, making a beeline for my scissor covered locker.

I set my coffee on a holder made specifically for it, sort my books out and check my hair and makeup. I've got about 7 more minutes before class starts, I usually went to class early to avoid people, but today the world had other plans. And those plans were Beck and Vega coming up to my locker together as I closed it, "I thought you didn't like Ryder." Beck stated; Vega stood next to him with a disapproving look on her face, had she finally found out what Mister Perfect was hiding?

_I don't have to like someone to sleep with them. _I think angrily, instead of saying that though I take a gulp of my coffee. The sweetness is a bit much today but I don't mind. Coffee was my one weakness. I loved it more then air. Usually I'd have plain black and steal one of the teacher's sweeteners but today I felt like I wanted something different.

"I don't like Ryder." I reply finally, "I don't know what makes you think I do. I also don't really want to talk to you at all." I point to Beck, "and you I don't want to talk to until I have to, and right now I don't have to."

I shove Beck's shoulder with my own and walk past them. Someone chases me, and when a slim hand wraps around my arm I know its Vega, I turn my eyes to her and she yanks me to a halt, "why was he looking at you like that?"

"Jealous?" I ask grinning, her hand goes slack on my arm from shock and I easily break out of her hold. I wink at her before I disappear into my math class. A few seniors are already inside, none of them even glance up when I walk in, and I take my seat in the back and pull out my homework in silence. Outside the door I can see Vega watching me bewildered, trying to get my attention without coming inside. I lean forward and tap someone's arm; I think her name was Jenny, and ask her about a math problem. I know the answer but I hadn't written it down yet, so I let her explain it to me until Vega stopped staring through the window.

"Thanks." I grunted, sitting back in my desk and taking another sip of my coffee. The bell to go to class rang causing seniors to pour into the classroom. Among them were two other juniors, Sinjin and Robbie sans Rex, Vivian Daniels, the elder Vega, and the Shawn kid that always called Trina, Tarnie. Robbie sat on my right with Sinjin in front of him and Vivian sat to my left. None of them talked to me, instead we all poured over our class work, even though our teacher was missing. I finished pretty quick and sat at my desk cutting a blank piece of paper up.

Robbie was unusually silent today, I almost wanted to ask what's wrong, but I wasn't sure if I wanted to hear the story or not. I chew on my lip while scribbling down my work, tapping my foot to a melody in my head and once I was done turned to survey the class. Everyone seemed to be working okay, except for Robbie who was clenching his hand in his fingers and scribbling furiously at his work. I let out a low sigh and pulled out a new sheet of paper, scrawling a quick 'what's wrong' on it and handing it to Robbie.

He reads the message and looks at me like I've suddenly sprouted three heads, I give him a 'well?' look and he hastily bends over the paper and scribbles back, tossing the paper onto my desk.

'I don't know why you care, but someone stole Rex, I can't find him anywhere.' I frowned, the poor kid looked really freaked out and annoyed. I felt bad for him. I remembered how he used to be before the puppet, and while I found Rex annoying, Robbie was a mess without his hand up that puppets ass. I scribbled back a message quick that I was sorry about it and passed him the note in a rush, standing up abruptly. I shouldered my bag, scooped up my coffee, grabbed my homework to turn in and sauntered out of the class.

Who would know where Rex was? A janitor? A teacher? A senior, most likely. They were always messing with Robbie and I was in a helpful mood today so I started with the creepy janitor who was always asleep in his closet. I scared the shit out of him when I slammed the door open but he said he had no clue where the, and I quote, 'creepy perverted hunk of wood' was. I let him go back to his nap and headed toward the journalism class, lurking about in the halls to pick up on their meeting conversation.

They didn't say much that meant anything to me so I quickly left and returned to class where our teacher had finally arrived, "Miss West, where were you?" he asked the second I walked in.

"Bathroom. Sorry my period wont wait for you to show up." I tell him, slipping into my seat. He turns beat red and I smile into my coffee cup while the rest of the class sniggers. Robbie even lets out a short snort of his own before focusing back on his work.

I pulled out my phone and texted the only other person I could think of that might know who was messing with Robbie. Vega's reply was instant, 'I don't know, but why do you care?'. I roll my eyes at the message and almost hit delete, but then I change my mind and hit reply, _I'm not the heartless bitch everyone thinks I am, and that kid is unstable nobody should screw with him like that. He's like the male version of Cat. _I hit send and scroll through my feed on theSlap.

That gets boring after awhile and I finally sigh, toss my phone into my bag and scoot my desk over to help Robbie with the problems. He knows how to do most of them, but the kid is mindless with worry and I start to feel even worse for him. The whole Robberazzi fiasco aside and the creepiness pushed away Robbie wasn't really that bad, just awkward.

After class I walk with him toward history, "Jade!" Vega calls out, "Robbie!" she runs up to us and pulls us to a stop leaning up to whisper in my ear, "Senior prank, Rex." I grip Robbie's arm and yank him back before he can step into the main entrance area of the school.

Every year the seniors would pick on kid and pull a huge prank on them, I remember how unpleasant it was for me in my Freshman year and I look over at Robbie who is smiling like an idiot. Vega gets him into a conversation about our history class and I go to find me a senior.

"Daniels." I call grabbing Vivian's arm and hauling her around the corner, "what are you guys doing to Shapiro?" she gives me a strange look but explains that they took Rex and hung him off of the asphalt café banister and loaded his locker with manure. My stomach twists, "Is that it?" I hiss, digging my nails into her arm.

"Yeah, don't ruin it West." She demands, jerking her arm out of my grip. I walk back over to Vega and Robbie. I chew on my lip, how exactly could I ruin this? Just tell him? Probably for the best. Usually I'm all for senior pranks but not if they're on my friends. Well maybe Andre or Beck who could handle it, or Cat who wouldn't even realize she was being pranked. I really wouldn't care if it was on Vega either, but some part of me that still has a bit of a conscience wont let this happen.

"Your being senior pranked," Robbie's face falls, his shoulders slump and I can just barely see that his lip is quivering, "Rex is hanging off the banister of the asphalt café and your locker is filled with manure."

His shoulders slump and it makes me feel a little sad and incredibly annoyed at the pity I was feeling for the kid, "Thanks Jade." He sighs, walking away from us and toward his locker dragging his feet. I don't think I've seen the boy look this sad in a long time. I frown, why the hell did I care all of the sudden about Robbie and his feelings?

"You go with him to his locker, I'm going to get Rex." I tell Vega, she looks just as shocked as I feel as I fish my scissors out of my bag and march outside. Nobody is out here, all too busy watching Robbie open his locker, but I can see the stupid puppet dangling on the stairs. I survey them, they're greased down but he's up to high to reach from down here.

Apparently nice Jade's decided to come out to play and I might as well see it through. Nobody is out here if I fall on my ass, anyways. Planting my feet firmly on the steps one at a time until I reach the top and I slowly walk over to the rope dangling Rex and use my scissors to pry the knot apart. Once I have the stupid puppet out of the rope I let it dangle like the rope had simply come undone and stuff Rex into my bag as I walk down the steps, heading toward Sikowitz's class. I bang on the window until he opens it and I step in, careful to keep my back to the students as I swung each leg through.

The Freshman are all staring at me bewildered when I finally straighten myself up and look around but I ignore them and walk over to Sikowitz's costume bin, stuffing Rex into it and burying him. I turn to look at the class, "breathe a word of this to any senior and you'll be meeting the business end of my scissors." I warn. They all look perfectly scared so I walk out of the room and into my history class three doors down.

Robbie is sitting in the back of the room with Vega, one seat is left in front of him so I slide into it, ignoring my teachers questioning glance while I discreetly rub the bottom of my shoes on the carpet to get the oil off of them while pretending to pay attention to the front of the room. Robbie goes up to present his project with Sinjin and Vega slides closer to me almost as soon as he's gone, "did you get him?" she whispers.

"Yeah, but I think it'd be suspicious if Robbie magically had him after I interrogated Vivian. Don't worry; he'll get the puppet back." Vega nods and sits back in her chair while I fix my gaze on a random white line on the green chalk board still hanging in this room. After they present Vega and I go up and do our presentation, I'm pretty sure we got an A, which makes me happy.

The three of us walk out together, Vega and Robbie first, and we all go our separate ways to our classes. After this class I've got music theory and then Sikowitz's class. I pretty much snooze through the next two classes and I'm so bored I hope Sikowitz has something interesting for us to do.

I'm the last one into the class and Sikowitz is nowhere to be seen. Robbie is sitting next to Sinjin and Eli still looking extremely upset. Beck is staring at him with worry and Andre and Vega are talking, when I pass them I hear her saying "Rex tied up" so I figure they're talking about him, and Cat is sitting next to him chatting happy in his ear. I drop my bag at my normal seat and head straight for the costume bin and dig around until I find Rex at the bottom and I pull him free.

"Shapiro." I call, his head lifts up and his eyes land on Rex and he jumps up in a rush, running toward me and grabbing the puppet. The pair is already talking away and I shake my head and go sit down.

"I don't want to talk about it, Rob." Rex is saying, "It's not something anybody needs to talk about." And that's the end of their loud conversation instead they're whispering together. I mentally smack myself for talking about Rex like he's a person, but it makes my life a billion times simpler.

It's been five minutes since we got to class, Sikowitz still isn't here and I'm practically dying of boredom. I've been snipping at the ends of my hair for the duration of the time, and I've been bored since AP Lit, looking around I can see the other students look just as bored as I do.

"Just a small town girl…." Andre mumbles under his breath, stretching out in his seat, "living in a lonely world."

"She took the midnight train going anywhere." Cat added in, her focus still on her phone.

"Just a city boy, born and raised in south Detroit." Vega chimed in.

"He took the midnight train, going anywhere." I finished. Andre was tapping the beat while Robbie took on air guitar and the rest of the class was grinning, "A singer in a smoky room, the smell of wine and cheap perfume."

"For a smile they can share the night, it goes on and on and on and on!" Vega sings loudly.

Vega, Andre and I shared a look and sang together, "Strangers! Waiting! Up and down the boulevard, their shadows searching in the night. Streetlight people, living just find emotion, hiding somewhere in the-."

"Night!" Cat sang with a smile, spinning her hair around her finger and grinning. We all continued to sing together with random additions of other students. Cat moved across the room to sit between Vega and I as we continued to sing. It'd been a long time since I'd heard this song, and when we were finished everyone looked around expectantly.

"Anybody got a favorite scene to act out?" Beck ventured, "Since this is an improv class."

"Or we could do ABC improv!" Cat squealed happily. Murmurs of agreement went around the room and Cat picked her team, Beck, Vega, Robbie and Eli, "Jade give us a place!"

"The hospital." Cat grins.

"Sinjin, a letter!" Cat demands.

"F."

"A topic!"

"Aliens!" and then they started. Cat was an alien from the planet Mars who crashed into the pool of some poor civilian and Robbie, Vega, Beck and Eli were her doctors, trying to figure out what is wrong with her while she tried to convince them she was human. Sikowitz showed up in the last five minutes of class and I left after lunch. The seniors found out about me snatching Rex and dumped yellow paint over my head while I was trying to eat. Helen made them pay for everyone else to get new lunches, pay for me to get my dress cleaned and detention along with letting me leave early.


	3. Chapter 3

**Fake It**

**Jade's a great actress, one of the best Hollywood Arts has ever seen. She acts okay, and everyone believes her, everyone that is, except for Tori. After her second break up Jade runs back to her old habits and her bad friends with bad reputations and worse habits. Jade's spiraling down a dark path with only her new found friendship with Tori to keep her a float, will Jade fall down, or will new love pull her free?**

**Rated M**

**I do not own the characters mentioned, the places mentioned, or anything else. If I did jori would be canon and it wouldn't be on Nick anymore.**

**I meant to update Sunday but my cold decided to put me in bed all Sunday. So I shall quickly skim through this to edit it and post it. But it probably wont be that well edited…not that it ever is anyways. Enjoy. :)**

A shrink would probably say that I abused drugs and alcohol because I couldn't cope with life. He would be wrong, of course. I could deal with life, cope even, but I didn't want to. Living through life 'dealing' wasn't a way to live, at least my way I could have fun. Sure I'd been clean for the entirety of my relationship with Beck, including our first break up, but I knew this one was final. We were done, and I didn't want to cope anymore. I just wanted to black out all the bad.

Beck used to do that, block it all out for me, but now I don't have Beck, and I don't have friends and I don't have control when its so close and there's nothing between me and black outs. Even now my feet press down on the gas pedal propelling me forward, toward Ryder's father's house, a good 45 minute drive from my house and a quick 9 minutes from Vega's, oddly enough.

I got out of my car and quickly made my way inside. Ryder was lounging on his couch in a pair of sweatpants and no shirt, his hair dripped down his face as he watched the TV intently. "You're early Jade." He comments without a glance back at the door, patting the couch beside him for me to sit. I circle around the couch, drop my bag onto one seat and slump into the other.

"My dad thinks I'm at a friend's house, so I had to leave kinda early. I figured you wouldn't mind." I kicked my feet up onto the coffee table and turned to face the TV like I cared what was going on.

"Luckily my dad left already." Ryder shrugged slinging his arm over my shoulder. I picked his finger up and lifted his arm off of me, crossing my arms and glaring at the TV as some orange bitch screamed at some ugly girl on the TV.

Three hours later had me standing at a table with a pretty attractive red head with two guys on the other side of the table trying to get a ping pong ball into our cups. The game wasn't too much fun for us, since the guys were pretty wasted and most of the ping pong balls skittered off of the table-if they actually made it on the table.

Red and I were fairing pretty well and with one cup left for them I let her make the shot and stalked away without much protest from anyone. Along the way I stopped in Ryder's kitchen and grabbed a red cup and two or three bottles-I didn't bother looking at the names.

I dumped all of them into the cup, sloshed it around a bit and took a large gulp as I walked out into a mass of people crowding the living room where the stereo was blasting. It was probably only 11, but I was already feeling tired.

I stumbled toward a back hallway where I knew I could probably find some pot and instead found Ryder stumbling toward me with a grin, "Jadey!" he grinned, throwing an arm over my shoulder and turned me back around.

I sighed and let him lead me back into the mass in the living room, drinking from my cup greedily, "He should be here in ten minutes." Ryder whispered in my ear. I grinned up at him and he smirked back down at me as I wove my arm around his back.

10 minutes later Ryder's dealer indeed showed up and I retreated to his bedroom with him, Vivian, the red head and one of the guys I'd been playing beer pong with. Ryder spent a good amount of time rolling the joint and then he spent a good 4 minutes searching for his stupid lighter before he finally lit it. After he took two hits he passed it to Vivian who passed it to me. I took one long hit and held the smoke in my lungs until it burned before I exhaled and took another, repeating my earlier process as I handed it to the red head while I leaned back on Ryder's pillows and stared out the window, slowly exhaling.

A smile pulled up on my face as my eyes watched the stars twinkling through the branches of the tree blowing in the breeze. Two months was a long time to think about, two months since Beck and I split, I've spent most of my weekends with Ryder and Vivian. I ran my finger nails down the soft blanket beneath my fingers, enjoying the strange sensation of the tiny bits crawling under my nails. The stars started to almost glow brighter as my mind became fuzzy, I found myself watching Ryder laughing and nudging his sister playfully, she laughed and tossed her head back her blonde hair flying around her.

She rolled back into the lap of her boyfriend, the guy from beer pong and kissed him, laughing with mirth as they broke apart. Jealousy tangled in my stomach and my fingers twisted into fists biting into the palm of my hand viciously. Red was sitting beside me talking to Ryder, who before I knew it, was out of the room. Vivian dragged her boyfriend off somewhere leaving just Red with me. She was sitting rather close to me, too, her fingers brushing my hand. She slowly let her fingers crawl up my hand.

I relaxed my hand and she wrapped her fingers around my hand. The rest was a blur of red hair, pale skin and really soft lips that tasted like cherry. I woke up in Ryder's bed in a white t-shirt and a pair of boxers. Ryder was sitting at his computer chair doing god knows what and not paying any attention to me, giving me a good ten minutes to get as close to fully awake as physically possible before I scrambled into his shower and changed back into my clothes.

"I'm having another party tonight, and if you show up I'd love it if you didn't nearly fuck another girl in my bed." Ryder said when I settled on his bed, not even bothering to glance my way. I took my brush from my bag and ran it through my hair.

"Sorry Ryd." I mumbled, "I had a little too much last night. I didn't _actually _have sex did I?" he shook his head no and started typing quickly on his keyboard. I put my hair up in a pile on top of my head and stretched out, drinking down a glass of water and some Advil.

"You going home?" I shake my head in response and stretch out across his bed, pulling out my phone and tapping around on my screen and bringing up my Slap page out of boredom, scrolling through my feed with utter disinterest.

"Beck Oliver is in a relationship!" my voice raised about six octaves higher until it squeaked, anger swelled in my chest and I felt like I was going to be sick as my stomach tangled into knots and tears burned my eyes, blurring my vision.

Ryder was standing in a flash, coming toward me as if to offer some sort of a hug or something but I pushed him away, shot out of his bed and ran down the hallway of his house and outside, far away where he wouldn't see the tears pouring down my face. I made it to a park about three blocks away before I collapsed behind the jungle gym, curled up into a ball and bit down on my knee through my jeans sobbing.

My heart was in my throat as tears cascaded down my cheeks only managing to pause when I heard feet crunching and tried to keep quiet but the sobs bubbled out of me unendingly. The feet got closer and closer until a hand reached out and brushed against my shoulder, "Jade?" Vega. It was Vega. Of course it was. In her running outfit, which meant she'd seen me here.

I wanted to scream at her to go away, I really did, but I couldn't find the power in me to do so. All too quickly she wrapped her arms around me and pulled me against her chest. I couldn't stop sobbing and she didn't ask any questions as I sat there, cradled in her arms sobbing my eyes out like a huge baby, once more letting her see me crying.

Beck had finally moved on, I mean sure he had awhile after we broke up, but now it was official. He moved on and was dating someone else. Someone not me, some other girl named Jen. I guess it was almost as painful as hitting 'single' on the Slap. But now, now it was final. I wasn't getting him back. He wasn't mine anymore, his heart was being taken by another girl, or maybe she already had it. Another sob escaped me and I squeezed my eyes shut, curling up tighter against Vega who wrapped her arms around me tighter.

"We all miss you at school." Vega said after my sobs had finally calmed down, her fingers brushing through my wet hair that had fallen down while I ran here. I jumped a little when her fingers brushed by my neck and she chuckled almost silently.

"Yeah, maybe you do, but I'm sure nobody else does." I mumbled into my hands, they were tucked between my face and Vega's shoulder. She ran her thin fingers through my hair once more and shifted back a little.

"Sinjin misses you." She said, I snorted closing my eyes as a smile forced its way onto my face. Of course she'd bring that creepy weirdo into this, "Where have you been? Why are you skipping school? I thought your dream was to graduate and direct movies. How can you do that if you don't show up?"

"I don't need school to make it big, Vega." I told her bitterly. Tori sighed, her fingers stopping their movement in my hair. She started again after a few minutes, "thanks."

"Anytime, Jade." She responded instantly, sounding more sincere then anybody that had ever said those words to me. I stayed curled up like that for a few more minutes before I finally got up, too much of this touchy feely bullshit. I didn't need Vega of all people getting attached to me. Or worse, me getting attached to her. No way.

"Where have you been staying? Cat said she went by your dads place and he said you were with a friend every single time she went by." Tori looked actually concerned, her eyebrows were pushed together and her mouth was screwed up in a way I couldn't describe as anything but worry.

"With a friend, don't worry about me so much Vega. I'm a big girl I can take care of myself." I patted her on the shoulder as I walked by her; Ryder's house the only thing in my mind. My head was pounding far more then I could ever imagine a hangover hurting.

"Jade!" she calls after me, something about her voice stops me and I turn to look back at her. She's standing by the swirl slide watching me with sad eyes, like she was physically punched in the gut, "I mean it, if you ever need me…"

"I got it, Vega." I told her, giving her a short wave before I walked away, jogging to get back to Ryder's house and take a nap or something. When I got there Vivian pulled the door open, "Hey Viv."

"Hey West." She greeted in passing, I watched her go down the driveway and climb into her car before zipping away. I let out a long sigh and stepped into the house when Ryder made it down the stairs.

"Jade, your dad called looking for you." Ryder told me pulling a disgusted face, "I told him I'd send you home when you and Viv got back from a walk, here's your bag." He dropped it down on the ground by the stairs.

"Thanks." I muttered, scooping it up off of the ground and hauling it onto my shoulder, fishing my keys out, "I'll probably see you tonight." He nodded, reaching forward and wrapping his arm around my shoulder, kissing the top of my head.

I pulled away from him quickly and hightailed out the door and into my car. I drove as slow as possible home and took my time undoing my seatbelt, grabbing my bag and shuffling into the house.

"Jade." My dad was sitting in the kitchen when I stepped into the house, "why have you been ditching school?" he snarled.

"I haven't been feeling good so I was staying with a friend because her mom was actually helping me get better." I growled. My dad didn't buy it, but he didn't care enough about me to argue the point further as I stepped out of the kitchen and went up the stairs and into my room. It didn't take me more then five minutes after 8 pm to crawl out my window, scale down the tree in nothing more then a skirt and a loose shirt, my heels clutched in my hand with a pair of stockings.

Once I landed in the grass I hauled myself over a fence and into the alley behind my house. Ryder was waiting in his car there and I crawled into the passenger seat. Vivian was sitting in the back with her boyfriend in a low cut dress that looked like it stopped just under her butt.

"Why's she here?" I asked puzzled, Ryder said the party was at his place.

"There's another party tonight, so I figured I'd rather go to that one then have my own. At least if the cops get called I won't have to deal with it." He flashed me a grin before speeding off down the road. At the next red light I pulled on my stockings and heels with haste and readjusted my skirt before sitting back in my seat.

Cars filled the streets, the sidewalks and the driveway around the huge house we'd pulled up to. It was a few houses away from Ryder's and most of the people I see walking into the party I don't recognize even though I spot a few flashes of red with 'HA' on their jackets. Not sure who wears a school jacket to a party, but a few people did.

Vivian practically flew out of the car, her still nameless to me boyfriend right behind her. I pushed my door open slowly and stepped out, once more adjusting my skirt, and then my shirt and hair before walking up with Ryder's arm slung casually over my shoulder. A few weeks ago he told me it was because when girls saw him with me they seemed to be more inclined to sleep with him-I'm truly not sure what his logic was or if it was true but I'd rather not walk into a party alone anyways.

Smoke smacked me in the face like thick smog as the door opened and a mass of bodies poured out onto the front porch, thankfully Ryder pulled me clear of them and we made our way into the door. Stale beer hit my nose next and I had half a mind to plug my nose. I'd never been a big fan of beer, I honestly only drank it if I had nothing else to drink and I didn't want to be sober-and if I did I must've had a really shitty day because I hated beer more then I hated being sober.

Ryder pushed our way into the kitchen, poured us both drinks and we wandered around looking for something-or in Ryder's case someone- to do. Once he spotted his prey he kissed the top of my head and departed so wandered over to a table to set my empty cup on and joined the mass of bodies dancing in the living room. My night revolved around music, drinking, and random guys flirting with me only to be shot down when I grew bored-it usually didn't take long and it also didn't take long for me to see that a lot of these kids were from Hollywood Arts.

A quick scan of theSlap informed me that Robbie, Rex, Sinjin, and a few kids from my math class were here, including Trina, Shawn. I made a mental note to avoid all of them if I could, especially Sinjin and Trina. I was on maybe my 7th drink of the night and I'd had a few hits earlier when I spotted familiar mops of curly brown and blonde hair and Sinjin and Courtney appeared, Sinjin giving me this creepy ass smile, "what?" I growled, he flinched a bit but didn't stop smiling, "Sinjin! What do you want?" I took a huge gulp of my drink and glared at him.

"Ryder anywhere around here?" he asked, oh so he wanted drugs. That was new.

"Yeah, he's in the backyard." Sinjin lingered for a few more minutes- not saying anything just watching me- before he and Courtney disappeared and I was left alone to head back to the dance floor, and then I spotted Beck and his new girlfriend, they were standing near a wall, she was leaning her back against it smiling up at him and laughing. He was leaning on his shoulder looking down at her smiling.

My hand clenched around my cup and I bit my lip hard, spinning on my heel just as Beck's eyes met mine, widening in shock the instant it happened. My heart hammered in my throat and I felt like I was going to be sick as I hastily immersed myself in the crowd. Two drinks promptly followed the sighting, one for each eye. Then I took another just because and I slumped down over the sink, hiding my face from anyone that entered the kitchen trying to calm down before I started to cry-again.

A hand landed on my shoulder, I spun quickly, grabbing it and shoving its owner up against the fridge. Vega's brown eyes stared back at me in shock and her soft-looking pink lips were parted in shock. "J-Jade.." she squeaked with a gulp. Her whole body was shaking, I could feel it pressed against me and she looked up at me unsure. I held her hand pinned above her head and my face hovered inches from hers, I could feel her breath fanning across my lips, "Are you okay?"

Vega's face became a blur and I felt the strangled sob escape me as I dropped Vega's wrist and ran from the kitchen, elbowing and shoving my way through the crowds of people until I was standing by an open window. "Jade!" Vega's voice was close now; she was standing right behind me and her hand landed on my upper back, rubbing it soothingly like she'd done earlier today and when Beck and I first broke up. Once again Vega's soothing motion calmed me down and I caught my breath and managed to look at her without tears blurring my vision, "I'm sorry." She whispered.

I bit my lip, only then realizing it had been quivering. Vega stepped closer, putting her hand on my shoulder, nervously closing the gap between us; she opened her mouth to say something when the blue and red lights started flashing.

Want to empty a house fast? Call the cops.

Vega started to run for the front door, she'd come with Trina. I grasped her wrist and shook my head no stubbornly, tugging her toward the back with the pool. When I passed by Ryder I made sure he saw me leave and then tugged Vega out the gate and into the back alley. Everyone else was running left, but I ran straight into someone else's backyard, out theirs, across the street and down the road to my right. Vega was panting behind me and forced me to stop so she could catch her breath, "Thanks, Jade."

"I don't owe you anymore." I shrugged; she gave me a strange look which I returned with a matching strange look.

"You never owed me, Jade." She whispered.

"Well I can, can I crash at your place?" she nods and makes a strange motion that her house is just this way-but I already know that painfully well about 10 minute walk. We walk in silence; the cool wind blowing our hair around, Vega's occasionally whipping me in the face. Her hair smelled like oranges.

After awhile my feet started dragging and I fell a few paces behind her watching the way her hips swayed and how great she looked in those shorts as she walked and listening to the sound of her black heels clicking on the sidewalk. "Come on Jade." Vega stopped and grabbed my arm, hauling me forward a few paces faster as her house came into view. I sighed and shook my head as she pulled me into her house, "keep quiet." She warned, pulling me up the stairs to her room.

Thankfully they, and the hallway, were carpeted and our heels were silent and Vega's door closed with no more than a click behind her. "I'll get you something to sleep in…" she mumbles, heading to her dresser. I wandered around her room, looking to see if anything had changed since I'd ventured up here last, and when I found nothing had I took a seat on the edge of her bed while she dug around in her dresser.

"Here." She flung some colorful clothes in my direction, "you know where the bathroom is." I stood up with an absent nod and walked into her bathroom after stopping to kick off my shoes. Once the door was shut behind me I went about wiping the makeup from my face with a paper towel. After that I peed and then changed from my skirt and loose shirt into a pair of neon pink shorts and a purple tank top, after a second thought I pulled my bra off too before heading into her bedroom, pausing to knock on the door.

"Come in." Vega called sleepily. I pushed the door open and shut it silently behind me, "if you kick in your sleep, sleep on the floor."

"I don't." I mumbled. She made a sweeping motion at the left side of her bed and curled up on her side. I flipped the light off and crawled in beside her, she shivered for some reason and shook the whole bed as she edged farther away from me. I sighed and closed my eyes, letting sleep over come my mind and drown everything else.

**Let me know what you thought!**

**Also, if you like my fanfictions, maybe you could check out my original stories on wattpad at- wattpad . com/ MellyHorror remove spaces. My two stories are both about people in the music industry or trying to make it, so if your interested. **

**Until next time~**


	4. Chapter 4

**Fake It**

**Jade's a great actress, one of the best Hollywood Arts has ever seen. She acts okay, and everyone believes her, everyone that is, except for Tori. After her second break up Jade runs back to her old habits, her bad friends with bad reputations and bad habits. Jade's spiraling down a dark path, can Tori save her?**

**Rated M**

**I do not own the characters mentioned, the places mentioned, or anything else. If I did jori would be canon and it wouldn't be on Nick anymore.**

"Trina! Get out! What the heck is your problem! _Get out!_" Vega's screeching voice shocked me out of my sleep and I cracked my eyes open quick enough to get a blurry vision of Vega slamming her door shut and growling under her breath, her hands balled into fists and her muscles tensed. I can see that her hands are balled into fists and her head is bowed down as her body seems to shudder in anger.

"Vega, are you and your sister always this charming in the morning?" I grumble, shoving my fingers through my messy hair. Vega whirls around and gives me this wide-eyed terrified look I'd liken to a guinea pig I let out a low chuckle before I settled back into her bed, the smell of Bounce sheets swallowed me whole.

"Trina is, usually I'm passed out until noon." She replies easily, crawling into her bed again, burying her face in her pillow, her arms reaching out and pulling her comforter back up over her head a she burrows deeply into the bed.

"I'd never peg you for a late sleeper." I laugh mostly to myself, drawing my knees up into my chest and wrapping my arms around my legs. I rest my chin on my knees and close my eyes. I wasn't tired anymore, I usually wasn't once I was woken up I was awake. It was a pain.

"If you took the chance to get to know me you might have." She mutters, I almost think I hear a bit of sadness seep into her voice mixed with the sarcasm I hardly ever heard her use, "time for you to run away now?" she inquires, popping her head out from under the comforter to meet my gaze with her tired brown eyes.

"Yeah." I reply, swinging my legs out of her bed. I pick up my skirt, shirt and shoes, heading for her door. I rush into the bathroom and change out of my clothes before heading back into Vega's room. She's sitting up in her bed, her knees drawn into her chest and her arms wrapped around her legs while her cheek rests on her chin. Her eyes pop open when I step into the room and she watches me carefully as I set the clothes on top of her dresser and adjust my hair in her mirror.

"You said you owed me a favor, right?" she asks, I meet her gaze in the mirror and I nod slowly, regretting it already. I watch as her teeth pull her bottom lip into their clutches, slowly releasing it while Vega shifts uncomfortably in her bed, she can't meet my gaze in the mirror, "if you ever get into trouble or need my help, call me. That's the favor you can do for me."

I spin around, "That's just basically asking me to call you for help and owe you again."

"And you can pay me back by calling me the next time." She replies instantly, "and again and again. Until I decide I'm done helping you."

"With the heart of gold you have? You'll never stop helping me, Vega. Are you sure?" she just nods, laying back on her bed and curling up, her eyes fall closed and I can count to 10 and her breathing becomes shallow and I can tell she's asleep, "thanks Vega." I whisper, grabbing my phone before I leave her room. There's nobody downstairs, thankfully, so I escape the house safely walking toward the park while I text Ryder to get a ride home. He tells me he'll send Viviane so I go find a swing and sit down on it, kicking my heels off and pushing myself back and forth with my toe.

I don't understand Vega, and I'm not sure I want to. Her and her heart of gold, I'm sure if I asked her for money to buy pot she'd probably give it to me. Which is what I don't understand. I'm horrible to her, worse then horrible, the only thing I could do to make it worse would be to physically hurt her. Even if I did that, I'm not sure that would stop her and her stupid golden heart.

A horn honking in the distance pulled my thoughts off of Vega. Vivian's car was parked at the curb. I grabbed my shoes and scampered down to her car, sliding into the passenger seat in a rush. She didn't say anything as she took off, speeding the majority of the way back to my house. I jumped out of the car as soon as she pulled up, ran around the back and scaled the tree up to my room. I stripped down, put on a pair of sweatpants and a tank top and then went downstairs to find breakfast. Instead I found my dad sitting at the counter next to my very angry looking mother.

"Where were you?" my dad growled, eyes narrowing.

"At a friends house." I replied meeting his angry gaze and holding it with an impassive one of my own, "she was upset and called me so I went to go help her." the lie rolled so easily off of my tongue without me even thinking about it.

"Bullshit." My dad spat, slamming his fist down on the table. His face became red and puffy in his anger.

"Wow. You actually know how to act like you care. And here I thought you hated the arts." The bitter sarcasm came naturally to me and left my mouth before I could stop them, turning my eyes to my mother anger boiled in my stomach, "and why are you here? Finally give a shit about your daughter? Oh that's right, I'm your mistake, not your daughter."

She blushed and scowled as the rest of her face turned an angry shade of red, "don't you talk to me like that! I'm your mother!"

"Could've fooled me." I spat back, "I'm 17 and this is the first time I've seen you in 13 years. For all I know he hired you to pretend to be my mother." That really got to her, her eyes- the same color as mine- darkened and her hands rolled into fists as the scowl pulled back to bare her teeth at me like a dog warning of a bite.

"Don't you talk to me that way! I don't care if I raised you or if a wolf pack raised you, I am your mother and you will show me respect!" she screamed, spitting as she slammed her fists down on the counter top.

"You don't just get respect, you earn it!" I yelled back, "what the fuck do the two of you want?"

"We want you to go back to school!" my father screamed, nearly spitting as well. I took a step back in disgust and fear of spit landing on me, "I've had three truancy officers here in the past two months!"

"Am I making you look bad?" I asked, batting my eyelashes my voice going from bitter sarcasm to sugary sweet false charm.

"I don't know why you're suddenly rebelling, if you wanted our attention-." My mom started to say. I held up my hand to silence her and she shut her mouth in an instant while she and my father watched me.

"I'll go back to school, I won't miss a day unless I'm truly sick, if you both leave me alone and let me do my own thing. The only time I want to talk to either of you is if James is sick or something happens to one of you that I need to know about."

"And if you miss school?"

"That's your problem, you two talk amongst yourselves. I'm going to go get some food, just pretend I'm not here like you always do." I stepped around the counter, opened the fridge and pulled out some cold pizza from a few nights ago and then disappeared up the stairs and into my room.

Tears poured down my face as soon as I was alone and I couldn't figure out why these sobs were coming, but I couldn't stop them and they hurt and the tears burned my eyes and I didn't stop until I was hyperventilating, the only thing that stopped me was the sound of a doorbell.

My father's voice rose through the air conditioning vent in my floor. Vega was here. I quickly stepped out of my room and stood near the end of the hallway, "why're you here Vega?" I called from the shadows.

"You left your wallet at my house last night." She turned from my father to look in my direction, squinting trying to see me through the darkness I was staring at. I stepped even farther back into the shadows.

"She was at your place?" my dad asked before I could reply, Vega confirmed it. He nodded in approval and said something to Vega I couldn't hear before he walked away. Vega pushed my front door shut and started up the stairs. I quickly spun back into my bedroom, wiping at my face furiously.

"Just leave it on my dresser, Vega." I told her, walking into my bathroom and slamming the door shut. I heard her open the bedroom door, but I didn't hear it close and I didn't hear her leave, and after awhile I needed to leave the bathroom, especially since my stomach was screaming.

Tori was sitting at my computer, her feet planted on the floor in front of her, her arms crossed and her stare locked on the door, she raised an eyebrow at me when I walked in and I can only think she reminds me of me. "What do you want now Vega?"

"What happened?" she asks instead of answering me. Her eyes search my face as she glares in my direction; I mean it's actually pretty good for Vega, not quite up to my standers. I walk past her and grab a slice of pizza out of the box on my bed, dropping down onto the window seat at the foot of my bed, "West..." Vega spun in the chair.

"Acting like me will get you nowhere." I pointed out, she scowled at me as I took a huge bite out of the pizza, "but by all means, grab a slice of pizza." I turned so I was staring out the window up at the blue sky with its puffy white clouds. I heard her get up and open the box, and then she was tucking a foot under herself and sitting next to me while she ate the slice of pizza. Her eyes lingered on me for a few minutes and then she turned to stare at the sky as well.

She didn't say anything else until she asked if I wanted another piece of pizza, which I did. She got up silently and got each of us a slice of pizza and sat back down, taking a small bite out of hers. "When I was little I used to sit and stare at the sky for hours on end." She randomly tells me, her eyes are locked on the sky as she speaks and she puts the pizza slice to her mouth and takes another careful bite.

"I used to stare at the sky until the stars entered the sky, and then I'd tell stories to my little brother using the stars as my story book." I told her, taking a careful bite of my pizza now.

"Trina and I used to play out in the woods up at our grandma's house and pretend we were princesses on the run from an evil step-mother while we looked for our prince Charming's." Vega shared.

"I used to love climbing up to the top of the tallest tree and staying there until somebody came looking for me or I got hungry." I told her next.

"I could never climb trees. I once scraped my chin when I was climbing up one, grabbed my chin in shock and fell down to the ground and broke my left leg." She takes a large bite of her pizza and then leaned forward, pointing at her chin where I could see a tiny white square of a scar.

I chuckled, "my dad and mom both showed up here today, decided they needed to be parents. They're making me go back school. In exchange I get them to leave me alone." I take another bite of my pizza.

"My parents both pushed me to go to Hollywood Arts. I didn't really want to go. But the convinced me to go. And then you dumped coffee on my head, first day at a school I didn't want to go to already." She laughs dryly, almost bitterly, "I didn't want to stay, Andre tried to talk me into it, and I guess he kind of did. But what really convinced me? I saw you help that Freshman girl pick up her books after that Senior shoved her into a locker and knocked everything out of her hands when I was walking out the bathroom after that."

"Why did that convince you to stay?"

"I figured that you weren't all bad. I mean I might dump coffee on a girl rubbing up on my boyfriend too." She laughs, I frown slightly, "Look I know it doesn't make any sense. But seeing you help her, I just wanted to I don't know, try and be your friend."

"And yet, I continued to be a complete gank and you continued to try and try and try. You didn't tell on me when I faked a black eye, you helped me when I broke up with Beck the first time, you helped me produce my play, I'm still a complete gank, but you _still _won't give up on me. Why?" I turn and fix my stare on her, she tilts her head a bit like she's considering the answer before she says it.

"I like a challenge. People keep giving me every single thing I want. You, on the other hand, won't. I like that, and that's why I stayed." She turns and smiles out the window, a devilish look in her chocolate brown eyes as she stares at the sky.

"You're not like I expected you to be Vega." I took a final bite of my pizza and pushed open the window, "come with me." I swung my legs out the window and climbed onto my roof. Vega followed me, giving me a curious glance when she joined me perched on the edge of my roof, "You still wanna try and be my friend?"

She narrows her eyes and cocks her head suspiciously at me, "What are we doing?"

"If you want to try and be my friend, you've got to trust me." she narrows her eyes at me and then nods slowly. I smile and stand at my full height, stepping out onto a thick branch, balancing with skills I'd learned over the years.

I reached out motioning for her to take my hand and follow me. Her eyes were wide as saucers and her hand shook as she reached out to take mine. I hooked my hand around her wrist, tugged her into the tree and backed up until I was pressed against the truck of the tree holding Vega steady in the trees lower branches.

"Stand still." I ordered, reaching up and pulling myself up into a higher branch, leaning down to help her up once I was there. I repeated this process until I was as high up as I could get that the branches could support both of us on without breaking. Vega was shaking pretty bad.

"I won't let you fall."

"If I fall, you're dead." She warns. I grin at her and push her down until she's sitting on the branch. I wrap my arm around her waist once I sit down to keep her in the tree and grin up at the sky.

"Just look up, Vega." She tips her head back and so do I, peering through the gaps in the trees branches where the sun peaks through, bursts of sunlight shining across my face. I close my eyes tilting my head back as far as I safely can, my hair tumbling down my back.

When I crack my eyes open again Vega is sitting beside me with a grin on her face, her hair rolling in loopy waves down her back as a ray of sun splashed across her face. She cracked her eyes open and a small ray of sunlight washed across her eyes. They turned from dark chocolate brown to golden amber.

"Your eyes…" I murmured, leaning closer. I heard her breath catch in her throat when my nose brushes hers, "sorry. They're just so…interesting." I lean away from her and tip my head back once more, enjoying the heat fanning across my face neck and chest.

I hear Vega let out a low breath and feel her lean back once more, bracing herself against my arm so she wouldn't fall down. I wasn't really sure how long we stayed up in the tree, but getting down that took about ten minutes because Vega was freaking out and every few seconds that she was going to fall to her death. As soon as I got her onto the roof I yanked her into my room where the pair of us toppled to my floor, "are you done screaming your pretty little head off?" I ask smirking down at her. She nods, panting now that her complete panic attack had passed.

"Good, I think you blew my ear drum." She gave me an apologetic look before standing up and helping me to my feet. She stood there awkwardly for a few minutes before shoving her fingers through her hair and letting out a low breath.

"Is this the part where I leave and we pretend this didn't happen?" she asks, looking up and locking eyes with me. Instinctively I felt my teeth catch my bottom lip and bite down hard enough to draw a bit of blood.

Why did I want to say no? Why did I want to tell her to stay?

"Yeah Vega, it is." I say, pushing my thoughts away, "at least, it's the part were you go home and I go to sleep. Forgetting, well that's pointless. I'll see you at school Monday." Her lips turned up into an almost smile at the corners and then she nods, her face almost glowing while she's running her fingers through her hair again.

"Okay. Bye..." she slowly walked around me and out the door. I couldn't stop myself from watching her walk down to her car. She glanced back up to my window and I felt my cheeks get warm when she grinned up at me and waved. Instead of acknowledging her with a wave I rolled my eyes at her and walked back to my bed, shoving the empty pizza box aside and crawled into my bed.

My bed was soft and seemed to swallow me as I curled up around my pillow and buried my face in it, letting sleep swallow my mind and the dreams pull me to a far away place with dark starry skies, the sun burned next to the moon, even though the sky remained black as night.

I reached for them, as if I could touch them. I knew I couldn't, except I could. My fingers created soft claw marks in the sky, light blue bled through the dark blue. Stars and Clouds. Dark and Light. Moon and Sun. All together in one singular sky.

I pulled my hand back and ran my fingers along the back of my other hand, painting with the black from the sky. Swirls of color, my pale skin, the dark sky and a tan finger. That wasn't my hand swirling the color. I followed the hand up the arm to the owners face, Vega. What was Vega doing here?

She was smiling at me. Half of her was in the light, her eye amber. The other half was in darkness, her eye the normal chocolate brown. I reached out and grabbed her face. She leaned toward me, completely in the light. Where Vega belonged. I was in the darkness, a line between us where the light ended and the dark started.

I smirked, "fitting, you're the light. I'm the dark." I chuckled and she did too and then a loud beep woke me up. I slammed a hand down on the alarm clock I hadn't set and looked at the time. 6 am. I crawled out of my bed, hauled myself into the shower and threw on a pair of jeans and a baggy long-sleeved black shirt before I crawled into my car, speeding toward the coffee shop for some coffee and breakfast.


	5. Chapter 5

**Fake It**

**Jade's a great actress, one of the best Hollywood Arts has ever seen. She acts okay, and everyone believes her, everyone that is, except for Tori. After her second break up Jade runs back to her old habits, her bad friends with bad reputations and bad habits. Jade's spiraling down a dark path, can Tori save her?**

**Rated M**

**I do not own the characters mentioned, the places mentioned, or anything else. If I did jori would be canon and it wouldn't be on Nick anymore.**

"Jade!" Vivian's body slammed into the locker next to mine as she held a coffee in front of her with a huge grin on her face, "I'm shocked to see you here." She grinned like a cat with cat nip, placing the cup on her lips and taking a sip. I glare at her but she just shrugs it off.

"Yeah, well I'm not a hopeless loser all the time." I slammed the door to my locker shut and took a large gulp of my coffee before walking toward first person, hoping to leave Vivian behind me but Vivian fell in step with me, looping her arm through mine as she did.

"You coming over tonight?" she asks, taking another sip as she sways her hips more then needed.

"Not sure, where will you be at?" I ask, knowing there's a pretty damn good chance that I'll be showing up wherever they are tonight.

"The usual." She replies with a shrug, yanking open the door to our math class open and strutting in like she owned the place. I followed behind her and took my usual seat in the back, nobody bothered me so I flipped open my book and studied the few sections I'd missed. Chapter 7 was on the board and I'd been on chapter 5 when I stopped showing up at school. It took me a few minutes to practice through the problems, get them worked out all the way and then I was ready to class to start.

I closed my book and turned to Vivian to find Robbie sitting next to me, staring. I sighed, turning in my seat with my cup in my hand, "what is so interesting about me, Shapiro?" I took a long sip of my coffee and raised an eyebrow at him.

"I didn't expect you to come back. Nobody did." He replies shrinking into his chair like I'll attack him, "Why'd you come back?" his voice squeaks as I fight a sigh from escaping me.

"Got bored." I told him simply, spinning back in my chair to face the board as our teacher came into the room as the bell rang for class to start. I found myself spacing out and nearly falling asleep by the time class was over, when the bell rang I dragged myself with my bag and coffee into my history class.

I slump down in a chair near the back of the room and stare at the front of the room, watching blankly as the rest of my classmates make their way inside, Vega among them. Her eyes skittered over me and then shot back as a smile erupted on her face and she walked to the seat in front of me and sat down.

I propped my boots up on the basket beneath her desk and leaned back in my chair. Vega pulled out her notebook and put it on her desk, hunching over it. A few seconds later she ripped the paper from her notebook and spent a good five minutes folding it before she tossed it onto my desk. I shook my head laughing as I silently unfolded it, the lesson gone from my mind.

_So Robbie's been pestering me to watch that movie Priest. Have you seen it? Is it any good?_

I chuckled, pulling out my pen and scribbling back that it was good. I refolded it and slipped it into the hood of her jacket before I folded my arms up on top of the desk, laid my cheek on them and stared absently at the bland wall. Vega faked a yawn a few seconds later and dropped the note on my head. I reached up to grab it and glanced at it with uninterest.

_Well maybe I'll just have to watch it to get Robbie off my back. He is so annoying. _

I'm not really sure what made we write the words that I did, but I wrote them and didn't hesitate to fold it back up and hand it to her after writing, 'I've got the movie on DVD you're welcome to come over and watch it.' I slipped the note over her shoulder and then curled up into my desk for a nice nap. She made a surprised sound and I heard her ball the note up and some shifting in her chair before the nap swallowed me, carrying me into happy dreams.

The bell rudely awoke me 45 minutes later and I shuffled into my next class, got my makeup work and did that absently while the rest of them watched a movie. I didn't have anything to make up for music theory so I finished the English work and then prepared myself to walk into Sikowitz's class.

I'm sure by now everyone knew I was back, but the only people I've seen so far are Vega, Shapiro, Sinjin and Vivian. My feet seem to be made of concrete as I walk up to my locker to trade my books before Sikowitz's class. I take extra time to fix my messy curls, pop a piece of gum in my mouth, clear the combo on my locker and shove the book into my locker before I finally make my way to the classroom.

As soon as the door opens 15 pairs of eyes are watching my every movement as I make my way to an abandoned chair behind Vega. I send a glare around the room, skipping Cat and Vega, before I sit down in the yellow chair, drop my bag to the ground, plant my feet in front of me purposefully and cross my arms over my chest, continuing my sweeping glare around the room until my eyes meet Beck's. He smiles at me nervously; I look away, staring at the back of Vega's head.

Thankfully Sikowitz makes his grand entrance, tumbling through the window shouting about a bee and swatting at his head, and the attention is off of me as he rolls around on the floor. I nearly burst out laughing but smother it, plastering a blank look on my face as laughter bubbles out of Vega. Her laugh is sort of pretty, but it just sounded odd. In a good way. I blinked as I watched her whole body shake as she laughed at Sikowitz gymnastic abilities.

When he finally stopped rolling around and got to his feet his eyes landed on me for a short second, a smile flashed across his face and he clapped his hands together, returning his attention to the lights, "so we'll be rehearsing for the play today. Jade you'll just be working on the lighting with Tori, due to your absence." I shrugged and he looked surprised, expecting me to put up a fight. I just can't seem to muster the energy for it and nobody says anything.

While we walk to the Black Box Theater Tori explains we're doing a play Beck wrote for script writing class and I tune her out until she's talking about the lighting, something I've got to pay attention to. We climb up the stairs and cross the catwalk, sitting down behind the light control station and Tori points out which lights were which. I had them memorized in twenty minutes and watched the play.

"So are you busy tonight?" Vega asks when Sikowitz is talking to the actors. I pull my eyes from Beck and turn to Vega whose eyes are locked on Beck as well, slowly they roll toward me and she smiles.

"No, I'm not. Why?" my mind wanders to a joint that has my name on it at Vivian's place before coming back to the conversation with Vega.

"Can I come over and watch that movie? I'd love to get Robbie off my back about it." She rolls her eyes at the thought. I nod slowly, my eyes going back to Beck of their own accord. He was laughing at something with Andre while Cat bounced around by Robbie while twirling her hair. We were done with rehearsal, yet Vega and I remained up high while our friends enjoyed a good chat.

"Yeah, sure Vega. Come on, I want to get lunch quick." I grab my bag and slowly walk down the stairs toward our classmates. Cat bounced over to me in a flash of red, her thin arms wrapping around my neck and crushing me down to her level while she squealed in my ear about her brother.

When she pulled back Andre and Robbie greeted me a bit nervously as I felt Vega take a spot next to me, smiling and talking with Andre. Beck stood between Andre and Tori, running a hand through his hair. He's eyes kept flicking to me and my stomach twisted each time he'd hurriedly look away. Maybe over time, I wouldn't feel this hurt, and maybe we both wouldn't feel so awkward.

When the bell rang Beck said a quick goodbye and dashed away while Cat, Robbie, Andre, Vega and I walked out to the asphalt café. I bought a salad and a soda before following Vega to the table and sitting between her and Cat. While I silently ate my salad my eyes danced around, taking in people around me, Beck who was sitting with his girl friend. I tried to slyly look at her.

She had brown, almost blonde, hair that fell down her back pin straight and light brown eyes. She was smiling, showing off a row of nearly perfectly straight white teeth. She seemed to have the smile constantly on her face. She was in a light purple shirt and light wash jeans with a pair of sandals. She held one of Beck's hands and ate with her other while listening to whatever he had to say. She looked familiar, but I couldn't figure out why.

A warm hand on my thigh pulled my attention back to the table. It was Vega's hand, and she wasn't looking at me, but instead listening to Robbie and Cat bicker, nobody had noticed my staring except for her, and for the rest of lunch my attention, and eyes, remained on the people sitting around me and my salad, but I left before the bell rang to go pee and fix my hair before class started.

I'd just opened my locker when the bell rang. Students rushed past me in a loud, blurry, buzz. I slowly pulled out my new books and returned the others to my locker before heading off to General Science. The desks that had been in the class last time I'd shown up were replaced with chemistry lab tables. With a frown I walked up to Miss Brown's desk.

She was busy with a bunch of papers and her unruly brown hair was pulled into a messy ponytail as she violently jabbed at keys on her laptop. It took her about two minutes to finally look up, "your desk is back there with my TA, Tori. I'll get you your work at the end of class." And then she shooed me away. I rolled my eyes and shuffled back to the seat beside Vega, slinging my bag under the table and perching on the stool.

"Thanks, at lunch." I said, she turned and smiled at me without another word, leaning down over her book, the Green Mile, "so TA, this class must be really boring for you." I venture. Vega shrugs, shoving her glasses up further on her nose. I guess we weren't having a conversation then. I sigh, crossed my arms on the table top and laid my head down on them, closing my eyes.

When the bell rang to signal the start of class I cracked my eyes open and turned so I was staring at the board with a blank expression. Miss Brown stood up and started teaching about atoms or something, I really wasn't paying 100 percent attention, or any bit of attention. My mind was on anything else. Everything else.

My nails could use a good re-doing. I wanted pizza tonight. I needed to clean up my room a bit. Maybe call my brother. And I needed to clean out my car, stop by the library. Hide my sketch and song books so Vega doesn't stumble upon them. Maybe I should trim my hair. I take my hair in my fingers and look at the split ends of the black curls, yep hair trim.

"Miss West." I blink my eyes and look up at Miss Brown; she's standing with her arms crossed looking down at me. I give her my best 'what' expression and raise an eyebrow, "I asked you if you understood the lesson, since you've missed so many days of school."

"Yeah, I got it. I kept teaching myself out of the book at home." I lied, resting my head on my arms once more as she walked away to help someone else with whatever. I let my eyes closed so I could nap, except Vega decided to nudge me painfully so I nearly fell out of the stool, "What?" I hissed.

"Did you actually teach yourself?" she asked. I shake my head no and lay it back down closing my eyes after I see Vega roll her eyes before they return to her book. I keep my eyes closed until the bell rings when I flee from the room heading straight for AP Lit, far away from anyone in my group of friends.

I sink into a chair next to Vivian after receiving a huge lecture and a hug from my AP Lit teacher Mrs. Stein. She was honestly my favorite teacher, after Sikowitz of course, and I actually kept up with the work in this class, thanks to Vivian.

"Hey, you coming over after school?" Vivian asks again.

"I don't know…I've got a lot of homework and a friend is coming over. I'll think about it, if not tomorrow." I tell her with a smile. She grins back, nodding and turns her attention to the board where Miss Stein is playing Hamlet. I sit back in my chair and get sucked into a mindless oblivion.

The bell jars me out of a nap I didn't realize I'd fallen into and I hastily wipe at my face and whip my head around. Nobody had noticed. I picked up my bag and marched toward my locker throwing the door open and hastily shoving all of my books inside, grabbing my math book, Hamlet book, and on a whim my Science book before slamming it closed and fishing out my keys.

I drove home pretty quick, pulled into my garage and ran upstairs, dropping my bag onto the chair by the door while I turned on my radio and ran around my room like a chicken with its head cut off, throwing my sketch and song book up into my top dresser drawer, fixing my bed, cleaning up my desk and dresser and then I disappear into my bathroom.

I spun the water all the way to hot, knowing my dad was not home and wouldn't be for another few hours, and stood under it enjoying the scalding water creating red blotches on my pale skin and the steam curling up around me. I washed my hair and put in a deep conditioner. While it set in I clipped it to the top of my head and took a long time scrubbing my skin and then I rinsed the conditioner from my hair and shut the water off.

I pulled my fluffy yellow towel around me and grabbed a smaller towel to get some of the excess water out of my hair before I trimmed the split ends off and put some curl boost into my hair and ran a pick through it. I quickly crossed into my bedroom where my fan was on full blast and sent goosebumps shooting across my skin.

My radio was still playing and I heard the familiar guitar track of Riot beginning. I smirked as I walked to my window and pulled the curtains tight over them as I dropped my towel and searched the room for my phone. I found it in my school bag still with one new text message.

From: Vega

_What time can I come over? _

I looked over at the clock and found it was just barely four, which meant I'd been in the shower for almost an hour. I texted back six with a question mark and tossed my phone down on my bed while I grabbed the towel from my bed and draped it on the hook on my door next to my dresser where I fished out a pair of black lacy underwear and tugged them on while digging through my cluttered drawers to find a clean bra.

Finally, buried in the bottom drawer with my jeans I found a pile of bras and grabbed the first one I could and put it on before sitting down at my desk and pulling out my nail stuff, reaching back to grab my phone before I got started on my nails. My phone flashed with a new text message.

From: Vega

_See you then. :)_

I smiled despite myself and set the phone down; grabbing a cotton ball and nail polish remover I went to work on my nails. In 30 minutes my nails were dried and looking way better then usual, I checked the time, which was quarter to five and then walked over to my dresser and threw my closet doors open, peering at the mess of clothes.

Why was I so worried about what I was wearing?_ It's just Vega, she's nothing special_. I frowned at my closet. It was over flowing with clothing, yet nothing inside looked good enough to wear. _You're just watching a dumb movie Jade, your just watching a dumb movie with Vega. _**Who is the first friend you've had since Beck. The only person that's tried. **

My mind started an inner war with itself, one side claiming that Vega was just someone to pass the time with and the other rebutting that Vega was the only person I had a chance of having a semi-normal relationship with other then the Daniel's siblings. With a frown I sat on the floor in front of my closet and dresser and ran through my mental catalogue of all of my clothing.

After half an hour of deliberating the side in favor of Vega being a good friend won out along with the 'look like you care about what you wear' side of my mind and I ended up in a pair of cut off denim shorts that had red checkered plaid material for the pockets hanging from the bottom and a black tank top with studs on the shoulders and a zip in the back. I carefully reapplied my makeup and brushed my teeth before I wandered downstairs to take care of my chores.

I brought the mail and trash cans inside, set out the recycling bin, turned on the sprinklers and checked the messages on the phone while I sorted the mail into piles of dads work, dads bills, junk, for me and shit from school which I then stuck into the box hanging outside of dads office door while I took my magazines upstairs with me. I set them in a pile on the corner of my desk and checked the time. 6:14.

My eyes found my phone, it was blinking.

From: Vega

_Be there in 10._

It was sent about five minutes ago, and now I was sprinting down the hall into the movie room to clean up the bottles of stolen JD, Sky and the ash tray. I flipped on the radio in this room, too, and Fake It blasted through the speakers.

I tossed the bottles into the cabinet above my video games and threw the ash tray into the garbage before throwing open the windows and turning the fan way up while I sprayed a bit of air freshener before darting into my room and checking my appearance. Once I was satisfied I sprayed a bit of perfume on and went back into the video room and pulled the window closed while I turned down the fan and went downstairs to wait for Vega.

I didn't have to wait long, almost as soon as I stepped into the kitchen the door bell rang throughout the house. I spun back around and headed to the front door, peering out the tiny peep hole to confirm that it was Vega and then I pulled the door open and stepped back, sweeping my arm back in an 'enter' motion.

Vega stepped through the door, her eyes crawling over me and making me suddenly self conscious. Instead of showing it, I returned the look she was giving me and studied her outfit choice. A pair of bleach stained light blue denim shorts and a pink tank top. Her hair was just as curly as it had been earlier and her makeup was just about the same, too. I silently cursed myself; I look like I tried too much. Maybe she wouldn't notice.

"You look nice Jade." She said.

"Thanks." I grunted, swinging the front door shut and locking it. Smooth West, way to make a friend, "So, I'm kind of hungry, I was thinking about ordering a pizza." I tell her, retracing my previous steps into the kitchen. Vega follows me silently, "You want something?"

"Pizza sounds good." She finally says, her eyes casting around the large kitchen while I walk over to the wall where our phone is. I reach up and grab our adds from the top shelf in the cabinet and drop them on the counter, fanning them out and flipping through them. Vega walks over next to me and peers at the flyers.

"This place has great pizza." I comment, pointing at a flyer for a little mom and pop pizza place that's about ten minutes away.

"Okay." Vega says, nodding her head absently, out of the corner of my eye I see her biting her bottom lip and staring down at her nails. I take that flyer and toss the rest back, opening this one.

"What do you like on your pizza?" I turn so I'm facing her fully and her cheeks flush pink, making me super aware that my face is barely inches from hers now. I can't resist the grin that makes its way onto my face, "Pepperoni? Sausage? Cheese? Sardines?" the last one gets her attention and she smacks my shoulder lightly.

"Pepperoni and cheese is really all I like on my pizza." She mumbles and then looks back down at her hands on the counter. I roll my eyes and nod, plucking the phone off the wall I dial the number on top of the flyer and place an order for a large pepperoni and cheese pizza, cheese fries and a two liter of sprite before I rattle off my address.

"Twenty minutes." I tell her, "might as well go start the movie now, come on." I quickly head up the stairs, noticing Vega jogging behind me to keep up with me as best as she can. When I reach the door to our movie room I fling the door open so fast it smacks against the wall and flies back nearly whacking me.

"You can sit on the couch or a beanbag. I've got to find the movie." I tell her, heading straight to the floor to ceiling shelf filled with various movies ranging from Toy Story to Halloween. It takes me about five minutes to locate Priest on the shelf, way up near the top and I have to climb on a chair and stand on my tiptoes, even in my boots, to reach it.

When I turn back around with the DVD in hand Vega is lounging in a bean bag watching me with a smirk on her face, I glower at her while I cross the room and slip the DVD into the player and get everything started up, grabbing the remote before I sit down and start the movie.

We didn't get very far before the doorbell rang through the house, I left Vega watching the movie and went to get the food, snatching my wallet from my room before I headed down the stairs. I yanked the door open without even looking and fished out a twenty and a ten before I looked up and took in the pizza guy on the other side of my door.

"Beck."

"That'll be 23.50." he says, looking away from me while fishing the box out of the heat bag with my box of cheese fries and soda. I hand him the thirty bucks and take my food, our fingers brush before he turns away, turns back for a split second his eyes lingering on my face and then walks back down the path to his little red truck, I notice his eyes linger on Vega's car before he turns back once more and I realize I'm still standing in the doorway and the pizza box is burning my hand and tears are piling up in my eyes.

I step back into the house, shut the door and carry the food upstairs, blinking away the tears. Vega pauses the movie while I set the food down and grab two cups from the cabinet where I stashed the alcohol, two paper plates and sat down beside her again, pouring us each a drink before I threw open the box and grabbed a slice of pizza, shoving it into my mouth quickly while Vega grabs her own slice, sets it on her plate and takes her time to close the box and then hit play.

We watch the movie in silence except for a few comments here and there about something that happened in the movie. After the movie I picked up the half empty pizza box and the empty fry carton and made my way downstairs with Vega behind me, chatting her little head off about the movie. Thankfully she was behind me so she didn't see the small smile on my face, and I wiped it away when I finally turned around to face her after putting the box in the fridge and the empty carton in the garbage.

"Thanks for letting me come over to watch it Jade." Vega finally said, her eyes flickering up to meet mine before she looked down again, once more at her hands like she'd been doing all night.

"Are you alright Vega?" I mentally slap myself for the harsh tone I ask it in.

"Yeah, I'm fine Jade." She replies, "It's just I'm not used to hanging out with you alone, ever. Usually at least someone is with us and its just I don't know, I didn't want to make it awkward or anything except that I just did, god I suck at this." She blushes an even darker shade of red and I can't help myself when I start laughing.

Her head whips up and she gives me the weakest glare I've ever seen and it only makes me laugh even harder and bite my lips to try and stop the laughter from bubbling out and I can't and I don't know why and soon Vega's laughing along with me and it fills the whole kitchen until I'm gasping for air and clutching my stomach.

"Why are we laughing?" Vega manages to ask through her laughing fit. I shake my head because I'm still laughing to hard to answer her and I've got no clue why I'm laughing except that it's hurting my stomach to do so and my face feels really sore. It takes us a few more minutes still to calm down and when we do neither of us seem to know what to say and I fidget uncomfortably, "I should probably get going. I'll see you tomorrow in class."

"Okay." My voice is barely a whisper which is good because she can't hear the disappointment that planted itself inside me for some unknown reason. Why should I care that she was leaving? What did it matter? I shake my head as I walk her to the door, watching her get into her car and pull out of the drive way before I shut the door.

"Quit feeling disappointed Jade." I growl at myself as I stomp upstairs into my room. I slump into my seat and work on homework for a solid hour before throwing my pencil down and leaning back in the chair. It'd been a long time since I'd felt so content to just be around someone with no drugs or alcohol, since before Beck broke up with me I couldn't even tolerate being alone in a room by myself let alone with someone else.

_This was ridiculous. It was just a movie, just so she didn't have to buy the movie herself. It wasn't anything special Jade. Just stop over reacting. You've had a friend before; can't you just get over it? _But of course, no, no I couldn't my brain wouldn't let me. All because I was tired of being alone.

I picked up my phone and called Vivian to see what she was doing while I walked to my closet and pulled on my boots once more, stomping down the stairs with my keys and wallet in hand while my phone was glued to my ear, she picked up with a shrill laugh before a gruff "hello."

"Viv, are you busy?"

"Nope, just hanging out at the lot. You going to come over?" I can practically hear her grin through the phone when I confirm that I'm coming over, I stomp out the front door, lock it and head the three houses down to the lot where I slam my foot on the cellar doors to announce my presence and some kid throws the doors open so I can saunter down the steps while he closes them again.

I scan the small basement through the haze and spot Vivian who's waving me over, a joint in her fingers. I throw myself on the couch beside her and take the joint from her hand, taking three hits before I pass it back my head already swimming to oblivion. When I get up to get a drink I take inventory of the people here I know: Viv, her boyfriend, Ryder, the Van Cleefs, the guy from Starbucks, Red head-who I steer clear of- and a few more kids from my college algebra class.

I pour myself a cup of a bunch of bottles mixed together and go find a nice place to sit and loose myself. It's not too long before Ryder pops up in a chair next to me, grinning like a cat that caught the mouse, "Hey Jade." He greets. I nod while throwing back the rest of the contents of my cup; it burns lightly as it travels down my throat.

"Ryder." I reply, tipping my cup in his direction as fuzz swarmed my brain a small smile made its was onto my face and I stood up to go get some more of all of the bottles on that table, Ryder followed me, pouring himself a drink as well- and about six more for both of us before the rest of the night blurred away and Vega was gone from my mind for the time being.


	6. Chapter 6

**Fake It**

**Jade's a great actress, one of the best Hollywood Arts has ever seen. She acts okay, and everyone believes her, everyone that is, except for Tori. After her second break up Jade runs back to her old habits and her bad friends with bad reputations and worse habits. Jade's spiraling down a dark path with only her new found friendship with Tori to keep her a float, will Jade fall down, or will new love pull her free?**

**Rated M**

**I do not own the characters mentioned, the places mentioned, or anything else. If I did jori would be canon and it wouldn't be on Nick anymore.**

**I'd like to warn: a few chapters from now this story will get darker and I understand that's not some peoples cups of tea. I had trouble picking out the genres for this story because it could fit under a lot. Just a warning. Full warning will be on the chapter it starts on. For now, enjoy this chapter.**

Mother Nature is my worst enemy, she has the crappiest timing known to woman kind and if I ever met her-or anyone dressed or acting as her- I would punch them in the face-hard. I woke up Friday morning to the most painful cramps known to woman kind, and no matter how much I say I like pain-this would never be on the list of pains I enjoy.

I not only woke up early to this shit, but I actually had a hangover this morning and no amount of aspirin was helping cure either, and I had to go to school for 7 hours of hell and come home get dressed and go out to dinner with my mom and brother tonight, according to a text from my mom at 5 am. I normally wouldn't have agreed to go but it was followed by a call from my brother begging me to go.

Now as I sit and glower at everyone in Sikowitz's class I have the pleasure of knowing this hell won't be over until 9 o'clock tonight- if I'm lucky. Right now Beck and Cat were running their lines up on the stage in the classroom since the middle school kids borrowed the black box for today and tomorrow, which meant I had nothing to do but watch them perform.

In the pocket of my jeans my phone buzzed but I wasn't risking moving to look at it, until I realized that it was going to keep buzzing and giving me this weird feeling until I finally plucked it from my pants, so I did and a sharp pain erupted in my stomach and I bit down hard on my tongue to stay quiet as I looked down at the screen.

6 messages from Vega.

I whip my head around to glare at her, but her eyes are trained on the stage and she seems pretty much invested in what's going on up there so I turn back to the messages.

_Jade, are you okay?_

_Don't ignore me Jade._

_Jaaaadddeee!_

_Are you alright?_

_Jade! _

_You're such a pain._

I hit reply on the last message and typed out that I was going to cut her hair off if she kept texting me and that it was none of her fucking business how I felt, and then I deleted it all and sent a simple 'I'm fine' instead, I told myself it was to get her off my back but in the back of my mind it was because I was a bit touched that she cared about me.

I tucked my phone into my pocket again and curled up tighter so my cramps would fade, if I was lucky. I closed my eyes and let my head fall against the wall I was sitting next to, telling myself a story about a princess with long blonde hair who lived in a far away castle in a vain attempt to distract myself.

It wasn't long before I felt a presence next to me and cracked my eyes open to find Vega sitting there typing away on her phone. I watched as she hit the blurry image of the send button on her phone and not two minutes later my own phone buzzed in my pocket.

_So my mom is making Trina and I go out to dinner tonight with my crazy Aunt Stacy. What are you doing tonight?_

I quickly replied about going to dinner with my mom and brother and then stared absently at the stage while I waited for her to reply. I didn't have to wait long.

_That sounds fun; I didn't know you had a brother. How old is he? _

I blinked at the message. The only people who really knew I had a brother were my family members and Beck, maybe even Cat. I hadn't even realized that no matter how small it was, I shared something personal with Vega. I quickly typed back that he was 12 and that he lived almost full-time with my mother so I didn't talk about him much.

_That's a shame; I hope you have fun at dinner. You should text me after. _

I roll my eyes at the last part of her text and tell her there's not a chance in hell I'll text her after dinner before I tuck my phone into my pocket and start to pick up my bag since class should be over soon. We sit side by side in silence, and when everyone finally breaks up in the front of the class, Cat skips to us slinging her bag over her shoulder, "hey guys, did you like my scene?"

"You did great, Cat!" Tori replies excitedly, standing up and wrapping an arm around the cheerful red heads shoulders, grinning. Cat looks at me expectantly and Tori mirrors the look. It tells me I should say something nice, and for once I feel obligated to do so.

"You did an amazing job Cat. But that last bit where you were crying, work on that you sounded a little insincere." I tell her. Cat, Vega and Beck, who had wandered over during my little compliment, looked shocked to find out that I'd been paying attention to the play, but I'd had nothing else better to do between texts, "maybe you could say his name a few less times or get louder and more frantic or quieter and sound like you're giving up. Whichever would work better with the play."

"Thanks Jade! I'll work on it!" Cat promised bouncing from the heels of her feet to the balls of them happily, swinging her free arm and chattering on about her mental brother. I resist the urge to roll my eyes at her as the four of us leave Sikowitz's class, Andre and Robbie catching up to tag behind us.

"So where's Jen?" I heard Andre ask Beck as we approached the grub truck, I told myself to ignore the following conversation but found myself unable to, no matter how much I wanted to.

"She's in class finishing up an assignment for makeup. She should be out before lunch is over." Beck responded as Vega, Cat and I made it to the window where Festus was. Vega got a salad, Cat got a bottle of water and a salad and I ordered a burger and large soda while Festus insisted he didn't have any of those things before he disappeared and handed them to us anyways.

"Meet you guys at a table!" Vega calls before the three of us go find an empty table; I put myself between Cat and Vega that way I didn't end up making the boys have to do an awkward game of who sits next to the gank. I fixed up my burger with a bit of mayo, got rid of the tomatoes in Vega's salad and the pickles in Cat's before I sunk my teeth into the burger and took a large sip of my soda.

The guys came over and dropped down around us, Beck directly across from me between Andre and Robbie. Andre was next to Vega and plucked a strip of chicken from her salad while Robbie sat next to Cat and seemed to suck himself in so he took up as little space as possible, ducking his head as if to become invisible. I didn't see Rex anywhere, so I nudged Vega and mouthed the word 'Rex'.

My phone buzzed a few seconds later, but Vega had shrugged and returned to her conversation with Andre. When I plucked my phone out it was Beck's number sitting on my phone. I opened the message, 'Rex got yellow paint on him so his parents made him keep it home until they could afford to get him cleaned'. Poor kid.

"Thanks." I grunted in his direction, my eyes zeroed in on my burger. I picked it up and hastily stuffed my face with it to avoid any type of conversation with any of the people at this table. We were all long done with our lunch by the time Jen bounded over to the table and my stomach instantly twisted, I shoved away from the table and made a slow and swift exit so I didn't look like I was fleeing.

I was slow enough to hear Vega's next words, "I guess Jade isn't really feeling much better. I told her to stay home if she was that sick. I'll go check on her." and then I was three tables away and in the door on my way to the girls bathroom very keen to do just what Vega implied I was going to, and the burger didn't taste nearly as good coming up as it had going down.

The bathroom door squeaked open and a pair of feet shuffled in, "Jade?" I heard the door swing shut as Vega called out. I wiped my face off and fixed my hair, flushing the toilet before I stepped out of the stall. Vega was hovering by the sinks and she gave me a weak smile, a smile that said 'you look okay, but are you alright?'

"I'm fine." I tell her, walking over to wash my hands. She leans against the sink beside the one I'm using and watches me with nervous eyes, surveying my every movement as if every little thing I do gives her any clue to how I'm really feeling. I shut the water off and shake the droplets from my hand before reaching over and elbowing the button for the heater, rubbing my hands pointlessly together under them before wiping them dry on my jeans a minute later.

"You sure?"

"Vega, seriously, I'm fine. I'm on my period and I should know better then to inhale my food like that." I tell her, rolling my eyes at her like I was amused by her caring about me being okay, even if that little bit of my heart tingled because someone gave a crap about how I was.

"Here. I grabbed your soda." She held up the cup and shook it a little, the ice rattled inside and my mouth was suddenly dry and all I could taste was vomit. I take the cup and sip and nearly spit the drink out because vomit and soda don't mix.

"Do you have mint gum or something?" I ask, Vega nods and digs in her back, brandishing a stick of gum wrapped in blue foil a few seconds later, holding it out to me. I take it hastily and shove it into my mouth, enjoying how the mint obliterated the acidic taste taunting my tongue seconds ago. I take a tentative sip of my soda and it's much better this time.

"So, we've got like twenty minutes left of lunch." Vega informs me as we walk to the door, she holds it open for me and motions me out the door. I give her a quick smile as I walk out and make my way to my locker, Vega falling in step beside me. I glance at the clock myself as I shove my books into my locker and pull out my English text book.

"Come with me." I tell her, shutting the door to my locker and grasping her wrist. We walked into the black box theater and around the back to a set of stairs; I hurriedly scampered up them, Vega following behind me, and opened the custodial service door to the roof. I pull myself up and onto the roof and then help Vega up before closing the door again.

"Is this where you go when you disappear for hours?"

"Here or the janitors closet." I reply, dropping my bag and sitting down against the service door and patting the area next to me for Vega to sit, after a few minutes of hesitation she did sit and pulled her knees up to her chest to rest her head on while she stared at me. Normally people staring at me either annoyed the crap out of me or unnerved me, but while Vega stared at me I wasn't bothered in the least. She wasn't searching me for unknown answers or leering at my cleavage, she was just watching me absently, waiting for a conversation to start.

"Did you ever sing before the showcase?" I finally blurted out after racking my brain for a conversation topic, but when Vega had started to hum, it popped into my head. I'd never learned anything about her other then things I'd learned accidentally or because she was telling someone else.

"I sang in the shower, sure." She replied with a half smile, "but Trina usually put me down all the time, she went through the phase where she was a total gank and every time I'd do something my parents were proud of she'd scream at me and tell my I was useless and that mom and dad _had _to say those things because I was there kid."

"She's just jealous." Jade shrugged, "she made herself into this unlikable person with her attitude. I mean if she wasn't such a gank, people might like her. And she can be pretty damn funny when she wants to be, she should be a comedian."

Tori made a strange face at me and then nodded as if she agreed, "yeah she actually could become a comedian. She's pretty good at making people laugh, but she's obsessed with being the best at everything and she expects things to be handed to her like she deserves them for doing nothing. Sometimes, with all the parts I always get, I wonder why I get them. Especially when you and Cat audition to and you have more experience and talent."

"Sikowitz doesn't look for experience and talent. He looks for drive, and who wants it and is willing to do and who he thinks can do it well. He looks at the part and what goes into and looks at the audition-ers, their auditions and what he knows about them. Then he tries to put who he thinks will do the best."

"And yet you still got mad about Suzy?" she asks. I close my eyes and shake my head slowly back and fourth.

"I was mad because I hadn't gotten a part in a long time and I thought I really did a good job. But I'm glad he didn't let me play the role in the end. I respect him for not giving into my gank-ness. Even if I think he's a loon for doing it himself, it wouldn't have been any good if he'd actually let me play the part." I mimic Tori's position now and pull my knees up to my chest to rest my head on them and stare at her.

"So you're not mad about it anymore?" she asks and I grin, shaking my head no, "good, and just so you know I'm not mad about you messing with my blood that first time. I'm still mad at Robbie though, the moron."

"I still can't believe he did that, it was hilarious though." I laugh, even though with the cramps in my lower stomach it hurt to do so, I couldn't help it. I'd been passing by the room just as Robbie dropped the bag, "I'd never seen you that angry looking before, I was waiting for steam to blow out of your ears."

And now she laughed too, buried her face in her knees so I couldn't see her face anymore, and her whole body shook before she picked her head up and sucked in a breath of air, trying to calm down. Maybe it wasn't that funny, but I have a feeling she was a little nervous about being up on a roof with me.

"Why did you look so annoyed about going to dinner with your mom?"

"I told you about my dad not liking, or approving, of me being into the arts? My mom is ten times worse, she thinks that I chose a worthless career and fully believes I'll be homeless and jobless by the time I'm 20 because I won't be able to hold a real job because I won't learn any really trades at this school."

"She sounds like a total bitch."

"She _is _a total bitch. The only reason either of us bother with going out to dinner is because of my brother. If he wasn't in the picture we wouldn't speak. Ever." I frown against my knee and turn my head so Vega can't see my face anymore, but that only makes her scoot closer so our hips are pressed against each other. She doesn't try to hug me or say anything comforting, she just sits there, staring forward I guess since I don't feel her eyes on me anymore.

"I was serious though, if you need to talk I mean, you can text me Jade. I want to be your friend." I turn to meet her gaze, in the sunlight her eyes look like coffee. I love coffee, and I really think the color looks pretty, especially now that it's the color of Vega's eyes.

"Thanks. If I need to talk, I'll text you." I tell her, stretching my legs out half way before quickly pulling them back, "I really want to rip something apart." I grumble. This causes a bubbly laughter to ring through the air from Tori and it sounds almost musical. I like the sound of it and a smile pulls on my mouth as we lapse into silence.

"We should get back inside, we've got five minutes left." She slowly gets to her feet, stretching once she's standing until I hear her back pop and then she leans down to grab her bag from the ground beside mine. She pushes it over her shoulder and looks down at me, "want some help up, Crampy?" she holds her hand out to me in a gesture to help me up.

I scowl at her as I take her hand and she pulls me quickly to my feet. I stretch until I feel like I can use my body parts once more and take my bag. I offer to go down first so she can see where to put her feet and I wait patiently while she has a mental freak out about how high up we'd climbed.

"I'll catch you, I promise Vega." I tell her, she looks down at me from the roof and takes a shaky breath before she puts one foot on the rung and the other follows. She pauses to shut the door and then starts to make her way down. She's almost at the bottom, too, and then she opens her eyes, gets scared and her foot slips. The next thing I know I'm tossing my bag aside and rushing to catch her as she falls straight for the ground. I manage to catch her awkwardly around the middle and pull her securely against my body so we fall back against the opposite wall.

Her eyes are wide and bugging out of her bed while she pants trying to catch her breath after she screamed during the fall and I keep her pinned against me, her heart beat pounding against my chest while her warmth seeps into my cold arm. When she finally stops pant and calms down she looks up and I realize just how close we are when ours noses brush.

"Thanks, Jade." She whispers before I slowly remove my arm from her waist and let her take the steps back she needs. She fixes her back pack on her shoulder while I grab mine from the floor and dust it off.

"Let's go, Vega. Someone might think I've killed you by now." I joke. She smiles at me, not a full smile but a half smile that tells me she finds me amusing and then she shakes her head and follows me out of the black box and over to her locker. While she digs around inside I toy with the button on her locker, pushing it on and off multiple times until she slaps my hand and tells me to stop.

"Hey, Tor! Jade!" Cat greets bouncing up to us a few minutes after the bell rings, Andre, Robbie, Beck and Jen are behind her. I sigh and turn so I can't see Jen, leaving me to stare at the side of Vega's face.

"Hey Cat." We both say, Tori's greeting more enthusiastic then my mumbled one. We stand by her locker and chat for a few more minutes before I nudge Tori and look in the direction of my class as a way of saying goodbye before I slip away unnoticed by the others to my AP Lit class.

"Hey Jade, get laid at lunch or something?" Vivian asked slipping into her chair beside me, "musta been great." She gives me an overdone wink and I don't bother to correct her, or ask why she thinks that because I know it's the huge happy grin that I can't manage to wipe off my face no matter what. I actually feel kind of happy.

When I get home I find a message blinking on our phone, from my mother. In a haughty annoyed voice she informs me I must 'dress nice, none of that black shit' and she tells me the name of the restaurant. It's something French and a name I've heard my dad talk about before with a client. I sigh and trudge upstairs into the room next to mine where I have 'fancy clothes'.

I grab the first thing I find that's not black, instead it's a dark blue dress made out of satin and I'd bought it for a fancy dinner with dad that we'd never made it to. I take the hanger and grab a pair of silver peep toe heels from the rack below it before heading into my bedroom. This dinner meant something to my brother, so I was going to try and put a bit of effort into it.

I found match nail polish, some silver earrings my brother had gotten me years ago, a silver bracelet and a silver clutch for my phone. After a long shower and a quick nail color change I'm sitting around in robe and a pair of lacy underwear and I notice my streaks had faded to a darker blue that almost matched the dress too, I smirked.

I'm pretty sure my mom doesn't remember I dyed my hair black, since she'd hardly looked at me when she came by to scold me and I'm sure she'll assume, or did assume, I did it to spite her, which is just fine with me. I pull a small top layer of my hair back into a clip at the top of my head and let the rest hang down in wild curls as I wait for my toe nails to dry.

The clock on the wall reads as five o'clock and that tells me my mom would be here in half an hour, so I head downstairs to leave a note for my dad –incase he cares where I've gone- telling him the name of the restaurant and that I'll be home whenever and then I go upstairs and do my makeup really quick, slip on a strapless bra before I put the dress on and shove my feet into the shoes.

I tuck my phone, wallet and keys into it before I went downstairs and waited. It wasn't too long before there was a honk outside and I saw a sleek black limo parked outside instead of the black town car I was expecting. I locked the door slowly before I walked toward the car, waiting for the window to roll down, which it did and my brother stuck his head out and grinned at me, "isn't this cool Jade! Mom's dating a millionaire!" I fight to keep the scowl off my face as the door opens and I peer around. My mother's left me a seat beside the door and my brother and she's on a row of seats on the right of the car, her hand clutching a man's desperately.

I slip into my seat and close to door, the car pulls away as soon as it closes and I feel trapped and suffocated already as I lift my eyes to meet my mothers angry stare, I return it with a smile on my face, "I'm Jade." I tell him, trying to be poliet for my brother's benefit.

The man has sandy blonde hair and overly tan skin, he smiles and I notice his lips are cracked and his teeth are stained but he seems nice enough, "I'm Andrew, I'm a friend of your mothers."

"Sure you are." I sink into the seat and turn my attention to James who is excited to babble on about things I've missed in his life, how he got his first detention kissed a girl, got an A on a project and anything else he could. He seemed oblivious to the awkward tension crackling between my mother and I, and I was happy with that. After James stopped talking Andrew took that as his cue to explain his job to me, instead of listening to much he had to say I was watching James who was now sitting in his seat trying to clear his throat discretely and running his arm under his nose. His face was pale and his eyes weren't as bright blue as I was used to seeing them, maybe he had a cold.

When I turned my attention back to the conversation Andrew was having with the window behind my head I learned he was a brain surgeon and worked at a hospital not too far from my school. He told me how he'd met my mother at a Wal-Mart, thinking I actually cared about her or how they met. When we get to the restaurant James buzzed from our table straight into the bathroom, as soon as he's gone a scowl crawls onto my face.

"So, what'd she tell you about me?" I ask Andrew, folding my arms on the table and leaning on them while I fix him with a bored stare. He swallows a bit nervously and that annoys me, he's an adult and he's scared of me. Pathetic.

"She told me you preferred living closer to your dad to be with your boyfriend and that you were an honors student-." I cut him off with a short sarcastic laugh, my scowl twisting into an angry smile as I sit up straighter, crossing my legs and leaning a bit closer to the table. He shifts uncomfortably.

"Let me tell you who I actually am. I'm Jade West, her mistake. I live with my father because he owns up to the mistake and she likes to pretend I never happened. I live with my dad simply because I have nowhere else to live. I don't have a boyfriend, I missed school for almost two months straight, I'm failing a lot of my classes and I attend a performing arts school, much to her disappointment." My mothers face is red with anger and she looks like she wants to explode, "James!" I grin when he returns to the table and my mom smothers her anger with fake cheer as we resume listening to him talk about himself.

Lucky for me, James passes out not even 5 minutes into our 30 minute trip to my house and my mom starts in on her angry rant after we drop Andrew off at his house because dinner didn't sit well with him. I listen in silence, stewing in my own anger and refusing to yell back at her, "and your useless 'talent'? You'll be lucky to get a part in an adult movie, although if you keep letting everything show like you do, you'll probably be able to get a job on a corner." She hisses.

That draws the final line for me and I all but explode right there, "Stop the fucking car!" I scream at the driver who frantically slams his foot on the brakes while I grab James to keep him from tumbling off of his seat, "I don't give a shit what you say, I'm great at what I do, and it's you who'll be lucky to get a job anywhere. You've got nothing but your son and stupid job at the fucking Wal-Mart. You act all high and mighty because Andrew took an interest in you, but its just pity he's got for you. He sees a broken woman in need of fixing and when he's fixed you he'll leave when he finds out what a cold hearted bitch you are! Nobody will ever love you, ever. Your children can't even love you! And you've just blinded James!" I fling the door open and nearly trip on my exit and take off running in the opposite direction, the door hung open behind me and I could hear my mother screaming at me and I wasn't stopping until her voice was nothing but a memory burning the back of my mind.

Eventually I find a bench and collapse on it, tears threatening to spill down my face but I bite down on my lip and clumsily dig through my clutch to grab my phone. My hands are shaking terribly and the names on my phone a blur, but I manage to find the name I want. Ryder. But just below it, Tori's name is glowing, begging me to dial it. To call her, to get her to help me. My finger hovers over the names, flitting back and forth between Ryder and Tori's names, before I finally press down on one and hit call, pressing the phone to my ear.


	7. Chapter 7

**Fake It**

**Jade's a great actress, one of the best Hollywood Arts has ever seen. She acts okay, and everyone believes her, everyone that is, except for Tori. After her second break up Jade runs back to her old habits and her bad friends with bad reputations and worse habits. Jade's spiraling down a dark path with only her new found friendship with Tori to keep her a float, will Jade fall down, or will new love pull her free?**

**Rated M**

**I do not own the characters mentioned, the places mentioned, or anything else. If I did jori would be canon and it wouldn't be on Nick anymore.**

**As I got a lovely bunch of reviews and had a fantastic sleepless night, here you go. This chapter was a pain to write; in fact I rewrote it twice with two different story lines, in the end deciding on this one. And enjoy! **

_**Dark things a brewin' ye be warned!**_

**Why am I typing like a pirate.**

**Cause you're my booty.**

**That song was so random.**

**Five fingaz to the face!**

**Okay read on guys.**

I didn't wait too long out on the bench for Ryder to show up, sitting the driver's seat looking over at me with a sympathetic expression on his face. I get up and slip into the passenger's seat, the warmth caressing my skin but only providing a blanket while the rest of me remained numb.

"You wanna talk about it?" I shake my head no, "you want me to take you home?" I nod yes, mentally curling into myself. As soon as we're outside my house I'm shoving out the door and stumbling up to my house, heels clicking. I turn and wave goodbye to Ryder, forcing a smile on my face as he pulled away before I scrambled to unlock the door and step into the house.

It was empty and just as chilly in here, sort of like how my heart felt as I went into the kitchen to find that my father has not been home, the note I'd left is lying untouched on the table where I'd put it. I snatch it up and crumple it before tearing it to shreds to deposit in the garbage can before I go up to my room and change into my own clothes.

I turn on my radio and turn the volume all the way up before mindlessly submerging myself in Call of Duty. After an annoyingly high pitched kid started talking my ear off I ditched the headset I'd put on earlier and just let my thoughts fall away until they started to build up and wouldn't go away. It didn't take me too long to quit, slam headphones on my head and take refuge on the roof looking down at my empty pool.

Night's like these pre-Beck I'd go find Ryder and get drunk enough I didn't remember why I was getting drunk, when I was with Beck I'd call him or go over to his RV and curl up next to him while we'd talk about what was bugging me and then he'd tell me random stuff about him, and now I was stuck sitting on my roof in the dark cold night freezing my ass off while thoughts eat away at my brain.

Was my mom right? Was I going to flop? Was I going to get a chance and just flop? Was I going to go after my dream and not even get a chance? Or worse, would I end up like her with a daughter who hated me, a son who resented me and a crappy ass boyfriend who was full of himself before I even got the chance to try at my dreams?

I guess that couldn't really ever be me, I never wanted kids and I'd never be able to stand a man like that, then again I was more pulled toward women anyways. But then again, my mom never wanted kids, yet here we were. I sighed and pulled me knees up to my chest, resting my chin on them while my arms wrapped tight over them, holding them in place. Tears started to burn my eyes and I rub them furiously with the heel of my hand, hoping to force them back into my eyes, instead I shoved them out the corners of my eyes down my face, and like it broke a dam tears poured down my face like a water fall.

I stayed on the roof for most of the morning until the sun started to crawled up in the sky and I couldn't ignore my need to pee much longer so I stumbled back into my room on dead legs and shuffled into my bathroom to relieve myself. Once I'm done I crawl into my bed and collapse, sleep pulling me into its claws almost immediately. When I wake up, the suns gone from the sky and someone is moving around downstairs.

I fly out of my bed and down the hall to the stairs where I find my mom standing with my father and James by his office, bags in their hands, "what's going on?" my eyebrows knit together and my hands hold on tightly to the banister. James looks up and gives me a weak smile, coughing slightly before he turns back to our parents. I meet my dads gaze and my eyebrow quirks up.

"James, why don't you go on up to your room and get some sleep. Jade, come help him with his bags." My dad demands, I narrow my eyes at him as I stomp down the stairs and take my brothers bag, sling it over my shoulder and then take his hand as we go up the stairs, he's telling me all about his school as we go down the hall opposite mine and I push open the first door on the left, dropping his bag by it too keep it open. James turns and gives me a hug, his arms wrapping around my waist as his head rests against my stomach. He's pretty short for a twelve year old and his face is burning through my shirt.

"You've got a fever." I frown, James nods, "what are you taking for it?"

"Nothing, mom doesn't have the money…" I frown even deeper as he walks over to the bed and pulls himself up onto it.

"I'm going to get you some Gatorade and a movie to watch for when you wake up, are you comfortable sleeping in that?" he shakes his head no and I help him change since he seems to be pretty exhausted, and once he's back in the bed I go downstairs to get him a cup of Gatorade and a few Scooby Doo movies. He gulps down the Gatorade about halfway and sets it on his dresser before he settles down to watch the movies, and hopefully to sleep.

"Will you sing me a song, Jade?" I blink at him, about to say no, but I just can't so instead I shut the light off, settle down on a chair by the door and close my eyes, running through the lyrics in my head for a minute before I start to sing.

"You've got a friend in me, you've got a friend in me. When the road looks rough ahead and you're miles and miles from your nice warm bed. You just remember what your old pal said, boy you've got a friend in me. Yeah you've got a friend in me." when we were younger we had a marathon watching Toy Story over and over. It was the only memory I really had of spending any decent time with him.

"You've got a friend in me. You've got a friend in me. You got troubles and I got 'em too, there isn't anything I wouldn't do for you. We stick together, we can see it through, 'cause you've got a friend in me, you've got a friend in me." in the soft triangle of light the open door provided I could see him smiling as his chest rose and fell in a steady, even pattern.

"Some other folks might be a little bit smarter than I am, bigger and stronger too, maybe, but none of them will ever love you the way I do, It's me and you boy and as the years go by, our friendship will never die. You're gonna see it's our destiny, you've got a friend in me, you've got a friend in me, you've got a friend in me." the last words were sung barely above a whisper before I got up and left the room, pulling the door so it was open a crack before making a beeline for my fathers office.

I knocked before I just walked straight in. I'd never been in the office before and I cast a curious glance around. Dark wood panels covered the walls that were basically empty except for a few of my dad's certificates and a book shelf filled with a few books. But my eyes were quickly turned to the dark oak desk my father sat behind and my mother sat on the other side of, both were watching me.

"Why are you here?" she opened her mouth, probably to tell me it was none of my business, but my dad cut her off.

"She's going to be staying with us. She lost her job and was evicted from her apartment."

A rude, cruel, and probably disturbing smile crawled onto my lips, "Karma is really a fantastic bitch, I should get her a gift." I commented. Her eyes burned with anger and I smirked, thinking how that's probably the same look I had last night and now I had the same look she'd had when she told me I'd be nothing.

"What is she talking about, Trish?" my father asks. My mom turns to him and shrugs simply while I take a few steps and cross the room, dropping into a chair beside my mom carelessly, turning so I was facing her, "Jade?"

"I went to dinner with my lovely mother last night. Since you didn't get my note, and on the way home she told me the only job I'd be able to get was on a corner." She looked mortified and scared, turning to my dad with a rush as if an apologetic look and some puppy dog eyes would save her from him, "not that you care. How long will she be here?" I ignore my mom now.

"They'll just be here until your mom gets back on her feet, maybe a bit longer." My dad says, "How is your brother?"

"He was burning up so I gave him some Gatorade and he's curled up in bed in blankets to sweat it out. How long has he been sick? He didn't look that great yesterday either."

"We've got a doctors appointment tomorrow, he's probably just got the flu." She waves it off as if its nothing and I narrow my eyes at her because she avoided my question, "two weeks."

"You're an idiot." I state bluntly, "and thank fucking god you left me here with him, at least when I got sick he'd take care of me." I stand up giving her a scathing glare before I walk out of his office and march upstairs, check on James who is still sleeping and a little bit cooler then he was before when I pressed my hand against his forehead, but he remained in a deep sleep.

I walked out once more, heading down the hallway to my room. Downstairs I could hear my mom unpacking in the spare bedroom and for some reason that made anger boil in my stomach, just the though of living here with them, again. Once was enough, I didn't think I could handle it again. I walked around my room almost silently, kicking off my shoes, peeling off my socks and shimming out of the pants I'd been wearing.

I pulled on a pair pajama pants that had fake blood splatter on them and a black tank top that said 'this is my zombie killing pjs'. Somewhere in my closest I had a bag that said 'this is my zombie killing bag' and a jacket that said 'this is my zombie killing jacket' that my cousin had gotten me as a gift some time ago. They were soft and warm and more importantly comfortable.

I grabbed my cell phone and crawled into my bed, burrowing under the sheets as I scroll through my contact list to text Ryder, but before I could my phone erupted and Vega's name flashed across my screen, without much hesitation I hit accept and pressed the phone to my ear, "what do you want, Vega?" I asked, stretching out and staring up at my ceiling.

"Can I come over?" something about her voice had me sitting straight up in my bed, worry filling me. She sounded upset, her voice hallow, "can we watch a movie or something?"

"Sure, Vega."

"Good, because I'm already here." She hung up without any more conversation and I threw my legs off of my bed and skipped quickly down my steps and yanked the door open to find Vega walking up my drive way, her car nowhere in sight. She had her arms wrapped around herself as if she was holding herself together and her gait was stiff as I watched droplets of water drip off of her.

"Did you walk here?" I called out, jumping down the steps of my porch splashing into a puddle from the rain I'd probably slept through and walking over to her. She picked her head up to look at me and narrowed her red eyes at me, swiping her sleeve across her face. I took two quick steps and put my arm around her shoulders, pulling her quickly into the house. Her clothes are wet and I know it had rained earlier, it makes me wonder how long she's been wandering around outside.

My mother, who was leaving the guest room, gave us a strange look but said nothing when her eyes found my angry glare directed at her before I pulled Vega up the stairs and into my bedroom. I made a strange motion I intended to mean 'stay' before I darted into the bathroom to get a fluffy towel. She was in the same place in my bedroom when I walked back in, eyes glued to the floor, bottom lip held firmly between her teeth and her whole body shivering.

I walk up to her, my fingers grasping her chin and tilting her face up so her watery eyes met mine. I forced a fake smile on my face in an attempt to get one to erupt on her face, but it didn't work. Instead this demon like darkness seeped into her eyes, "take those off and wrap up in this while I find you something to wear." I tell her, passing the towel to her before spinning on my heel and going to my dresser.

Wordlessly I pull out a pair of sweatpants, a large white t-shirt and a pack of underwear I'd never bothered opening. I set them on my bed, pull the curtains shut and turn to her. She's still standing in the center of my room, immobile, large wide dark eyes watching my every movement, "You're going to get sick, Vega. Get out of those wet clothes and put those clothes on. I'll be back in a few minutes. If you're not changed, I'll do it myself."

The corners of her mouth twitch up into a smirk so fast I almost miss it and then she nods her head as I walk out past her, pulling the door shut behind me as I head down the hall to my brothers room, trying not to think about what I was doing. I pushed his door open and stuck my head in, shuffling over to his bed silently when I noticed he was asleep. I pressed my hand to his forehead, relived to find his fever had gone down even more. I pull the blankets up around his higher and kiss his forehead softly before I leave.

I head down to the kitchen to make some tea for Vega, anything warm to help her stop shivering, and I find my mom sitting at the counter with her head in her hands staring with unseeing eyes down at a piece of paper. She glances my way when I set the hot cup of water down on my counter and then turns back to the paper while I plunk the tea bag into the cup. Once I think its done I pull the tea bag out, toss it in the can and pick up the honey bottle I'd grabbed as I leave my mother and the kitchen behind me.

Vega is sitting in my computer chair, her knees drawn up into her chest with her arms wrapped around them, now in the dry clothes I'd left for her, her damp hair sticking to her face. She looks up when I step into the room and then puts her head back down on its knees, her eyes staring blankly at my empty wall. I push the tea cup into her hand after I close my door, trying to ignore the way she flinches away from me. She stares into the dark liquid and looks back up at me, I offer her the honey and she takes it carefully, making sure her fingers don't touch mine.

After dumping a generous amount of honey into to the cup and stirring it she took a sip and then another and another until the tea was gone. The whole time I stood and watched her, noticing how her cheek looked like it was bruising and her lip had a cut on it. I frowned, stepping closer to her before I crouched beside her chair. She watched me with nervous eyes as my fingers pushed her hair from her cheek, the light washing over the dark bruise on her cheekbone, "Vega…"

"Don't." she hissed with an icy voice that bit at my skin, she pulled her face from my fingers and her hair dropped over her face, "I just thought maybe you wouldn't care…I could crash here no questions asked. I need to go." She stands abruptly, heading straight for the door. Before I think about it I'm plastering myself against the door, blocking her exit.

"I was just going to ask if you wanted some ice." I told her, she watched me apprehensively, a cold look in her dark eyes. I couldn't blame her, even I didn't know why I wasn't letting her just walk out the door. She sighed and I inwardly cheered, she was staying.

"I don't want any ice, but do you mind if I use your shower? I know its stupid I've already gotten dressed I just need to shower." She pushed her long fingers through her hair, shaking noticeably. I wanted to ask what happened, I wanted to know who gave her that bruise, but I also knew that she'd run. I knew because I'd run, too.

"Sure." I whispered, "There are towels in the closet in the bathroom, you can borrow a wash cloth from there, too. If I'm not in my room just feel free to crash. My brother is sick so I'll probably be down there." I step away from the door and watch her long tan fingers wrap around the door knob before she pulls it open and steps across the hall into my bathroom. Our eyes meet briefly, hers burning with a black fire, before she shuts the door and I hear the lock click shut.

I watch that closed door for awhile before I force my legs to walk down the hall to James' room. I stand in the doorway watching him sleep, he's kicked all of his sheets off and he's curled up around a pillow. Down stairs my mom and dad are talking by his office door, a sinking feelings wells up in my stomach as I pick my feet up and move further down the hallway, three doors down from the room James is sleeping in I push a door covered in peeling black paint.

It smells like dust and its incredibly stuffy inside, I can see the dust floating through the room when I turn the light on. Across from the door is a large bed, covered in rumpled black sheets and a red comforter. There is a desk to the left of the door also covered in peeling black paint; this is covered in a thick layer of dust. Papers, pencils, books and a CD's cover it. I pull the chair out and perch gingerly on the edge of the desk.

I drum my fingers along the side as I stare at a picture on the desk. In the picture there are four people. A man with light brown hair and blue eyes stood with his arm around the shoulders of a shorter woman with light dyed blonde hair and fierce green eyes. His hand rested on the shoulder of a boy with a mop of blonde hair and dull brown eyes. The boy had his arm around a younger girls shoulder. The girl had brown hair that matched the man's and green eyes that shined with the innocence of her young age.

"In our family portrait we look pretty happy, we look pretty normal, let's go back to that. in our family portrait, we look pretty happy. Let's play pretend act like it goes naturally." I hummed the familiar song, staring at the happy smiles on our faces. Faces in my memory that were otherwise tainted by painful memories, scars, slurs and black outs. My eyes skidded over that young boys face, lingering there in an attempt to find anything that made him my older brother again, but all I could see was the young monster.

Like seeing Halloween, the ten year old Michael Myers, who we all knew would grow into the psychotic killer that breaks out of the asylum. I could only wish that it what happened to the ten year old in the picture, but as far as I knew he wasn't locked up anywhere. Once more my eyes scanned his picture, scrutinizing it like I had years ago. Yet I couldn't find the face of the older brother I'd once adored. The only thing I saw was the face of the person who broke me.

I swung my hand backwards, smacking into the picture and launching it across the room as the glass of the frame shattered beneath my hand before the whole thing broke against the wall. I had the sudden feeling of being smothered, I couldn't catch my breath and I felt like someone's hands were around my throat. I shoved myself up from the table in a rush and made my way from the room as I gasped to haul in a breath, my hand on the walls on either side of me to hold me up.

I peer down the hallway when I've finally caught my breath and see the handle on the bathroom door turning. I right myself quickly and run my sleeve over my face to wipe away a few of the tears that managed to escape my eyes. I haul in a shaky breath before I force myself to walk evenly down the hallway to my door just as Vega emerges, steam rolling out of the bathroom behind her.

"Thanks Jade." She says while rubbing the ends of her hair with a towel.

"That's bad for your hair, Vega." I tell her, snatching the towel from her grasp, "come on." I step into my room and grab my hair turban that I'd left on my dresser, designed to soak as much water from your hair as possible. "Flip your hair over your head and put this on it." I hand it to her before I drape the towel I'd snatched from her over my chair. I reach up above my head until my back pops and then I sink down onto my bed while Vega plunks down in my computer chair, resuming her earlier position.

"When I was little I used to sit in my chair like that and listen to my-." I paused, biting down on my tongue, "listening to stories until I fell asleep, I'd wake up in the morning with a stiff back and sore neck."

"I used to sleep curled up in the small space between my bed and dresser pressed against my wall. My back was already sore, so it didn't matter much. Still doesn't matter much." She replies, staring out my window.

I thought about asking why she was here, why she hadn't gone somewhere else, but I felt like I already knew the answer. I was broken too, and somehow, she knew that. She knew I wouldn't ask the wrong questions, demand answers she didn't want to give. "lets go watch a movie Vega." I stand up, holding my hand out to her. She stares at it for a few seconds before reaching out and slipping her slim, cold hand into mine. I gently pull her to her feet and walk with her down the hall.

"Can I pick?" she asks.

"Sure." I shrug, dropping her hand as I walked over and flopped down into my bean bag chair. She browsed the shelves for a few moments, pulling open the cabinet I'd stashed my alcohol in before I could stop her. She snags the bottles and raises them at me. I shrug, well she found it, what's it matter?

"So Vodka and Burlesque?" she raises an eyebrow at me with a grin I could see myself producing. I nod and she sinks down beside me the almost full bottle clutched in one hand and the 2/3rds full bottle in the other. She sets the full one between us and opens the other, putting it to her mouth she knocks it back while I start the movie before resuming my space.


	8. Chapter 8

**Fake It**

**Jade's a great actress, one of the best Hollywood Arts has ever seen. She acts okay, and everyone believes her, everyone that is, except for Tori. After her second break up Jade runs back to her old habits and her bad friends with bad reputations and worse habits. Jade's spiraling down a dark path with only her new found friendship with Tori to keep her a float, will Jade fall down, or will new love pull her free?**

**Rated M**

**I do not own the characters mentioned, the places mentioned, or anything else. If I did jori would be canon and it wouldn't be on Nick anymore.**

**Early update because things unravel in this chapter and I'm interested to see how you guys react. Enjoy! **

"Ohhhhh sometimes, I get a good feeling yeah!" Tori belts out when the movie starts. I stare at her surprised, I hadn't realized her voice could sound that loud, or that she could sound that way. I'm used to her pop songs, her upbeat voice nothing to it but upbeat pep, no long held notes or deeper voices. I smile at her.

"I get a feeling that I never, never, never, never had before no, no." I sing next, feeling the air in my lungs leaving my body as I poured all my oxygen into the words. It feels amazing, oh so amazing, that feeling of being completely breathless. "and I just gotta tell you right now that, I believe, I really do believe that something's got a hold on me."

She stares at me with wide eyes and then sucks in a deep breath as she hands me the bottle clutched in her fingers. I take a large gulp and then we both belt out the words, pausing only to take a drink. Our bean bags are close together and we pass the bottle back and fourth, eyes glued on the screen.

"I really love the opening number." Vega mumbles as Ali enters the Burlesque lounge. The best view on the sunset strip, no windows.

"Show a little more, show a little less, add a little smoke, welcome to Burlesque." I sang in a mock Cher voice. A laugh erupted from within her and bubbled from her mouth so I continued to sing the rest of the song, leaning on Vega with the louder notes, relieved to have the movie to drag my mind away from everything else. I'm sure Vega was relived, too.

We were about forty minutes into the movie, right about when Tess kicks Nikki out the alcohol had made its way through me, not enough that I wouldn't remember this later, but enough that I didn't care how I acted now, "I really wish I could have a friendship like Sean and Tess." I shove my fingers through my hair, "I used to think that was Beck and I…but now…"

Tori sighs and slumps down in the bean bag, tossing her arm across my shoulders, "I think." She pauses thinking over her words, her finger tapping on her chin as she leans closer, "that the best part of their relationship is that they're just friends, and one time lovers. And you know what? One day you and Beck will be good again, and then he can be your gay best friend. Unless you want him to be your Mr. West."

"No thank you." I retort, shifting my eyes back to the screen as Nikki shuts the voice track off and Ali looks around confused. I haul in a deep breath, singing along with her, I feel Vega's eyes shift from the screen as I get to my feet happily, dropping the bottle into her hands as I sing, having this movie memorized. "I need a tough love, yeah, yeah yeah. I need a, a tough lover wooo." I mock walked down the stairs and tossed a micstand away from me. When I look down Tori is grinning up at me, the darkness in her eyes receding. She filled in the backup vocals while I did my thing, her eyes glued to me and mine glued to her.

She erupted into mock cheer as I sat myself back down, this time a lot closer to her then before and totally accidental, and I snatched the bottle from her hands, taking a few long gulps before I gave it back to her. We continued to watch in silence; the two bottles now lie empty before us.

"I love their outfits." Vega comments, "and her hair. You never see anyone let their hair look like that anymore and it actually looks nice. All you see now are perfect large curls and straight hair." At the words she finally reached up and undid her hair, "my hair is too plain for that, but I bet you could pull it off."

"I can, but I wouldn't. It takes a lot of time." I respond, "I tried once."

Vega makes a face before she turns her attention to her hair. I turn to the screen and instantly start giggling, "aye carumba!" I laugh with a smirk, "hello." Vega snorts into her hair and looks up at the screen. Finally I clamp my mouth shut and watch, keeping my mouth wired shut so I don't sing along with Cher like I always do, it usually leads to a sobbing session. Thankfully I manage to keep it to a few stray tears as I sing the last few words under my breath. This goes unnoticed by Vega.

"Why don't you sing like that on stage?" I asked when I caught _her _singing along under her breath. She turned and looked at me for a minute before she nods to the screen where Tess is telling Nikki 'this chick doesn't sing that way because she's had it easy'. I shut my mouth and leaned back in the bean bag, turning to Tori who was focused on the screen now.

Her eyes were starting to turn dark again as the wedding scene came on and I noticed that her gaze wasn't on the screen but she was just facing the screen. I prodded her leg with my toe and slowly she turned her head to me. I pushed a smile onto my face as I stood up, offering her my hand, "Jade, what are you doing?" she takes my hand anyways and I pull her to her feet, hitting the power button on the DVD player with my foot as I drag her out of this room and down the hall to mine.

"Put shoes on." I demand, yanking socks onto my feet before I stuff them into my boots. Vega quickly puts her converse back on and then I'm pulling her out the front door and outside. We wander down the street, past the empty lot where I can faintly hear music playing, and over to a hill I always ran to when I was little.

Tori followed me all the way up and back down where I found the old bench swing and sat down on it, patting the space beside me. A few seconds of hesitation and she was perched on the edge of it. I pulled my knees up to my chest and stared across the grass to the few fences yards away. The moon provided the only light here, which is why I loved it. It was always dark.

"I always came out here when I was little and I needed to be alone. The only thing out here is the moon, and the moons a great listener. It must know so many secrets. It knows all of mine." I told her, watching her from the corner of my eye.

"It knows mine, too." She whispers, "Please don't tell anybody about this."

"I would never do that." I tell her, resting my cheek on my knees so I'm facing her now. She's staring across the field, staring at the houses, "I used to pretend they could be my families. My new mom and dad and brother, nice people. They'd never hurt me, they'd give me candy and treat me like a princess. I had a nice life, then."

"Could I have a new family?" she asks.

"Yep." I turn toward the houses, scanning down them, "that last house, the pink one. That's your house. And you have a mom and a dad, they're really nice. She's a waitress and he works in construction. You have an older sister, Hillary, and she's away at college. You grew up at that house and went to public school for a long time before someone heard you singing and suggested you go to Hollywood Arts where you met all these great people. Cat, Andre, Robbie, and Beck. And this evil gank, Jade, who you still try to be friends with despite how mean she is to you. And you smile all the time and you're happy."

She's quiet for a long time before she turns to face me, "What about you? What happened to your family?" she inquires.

"My family? They turned out to be liars. Mom and dad got a divorce and my brother ran away. I lost everything." I whisper.

"That's not happy." She mutters.

"I'm too sad for fairytales." I feel like such a little kid, but the older, meaner part of me has shrunk away inside me, burying itself from everyone around. I'm terrified it will break out and I'll scare her off, back to her family "anytime you need to, you come to my house. My doors always open. If I'm not home call me and I'll come back."

"You don't have to Jade."

"I'm still going to, Vega." My voice takes on its normal edge and I uncoil from the bench swing, "nobody was there to save me, and I'm sure there hasn't been somebody around for you for a long time. You're too good of a person to be alone. Come on, I'm tired."

"Why is your brother at your house?" she asks on the way back to my house. Her hands are buried in the pockets of her sweatpants and she's not walking very straight, almost falling over as she makes her way down the sidewalk.

"My mom screwed up and got kicked out of her place so she and my brother are staying with us again." I mutter.

"Was she the one who….are you going to be safe in your house?"

"My parents are scared of me." I reply, "Don't worry about me, Vega, nobody can hurt me too much anymore. My heart is locked in a metal chest covered in chains and barbed wire. I'll be fine." We walk up the steps to my house and I open the door for her, closing it behind me as I flip the lock and follow her up to my room where we both crawl into my bed and fall asleep.

Early morning sunlight forces its way into my room, burning my eyes when my eyelids pull open. I roll over and stretch out, the bed beside me is cold and empty-something that makes my heart jump in my chest. I fly up in the bed, looking around my room. It's empty; no signs of Vega, but the clothes she'd worn here yesterday are still piled up on my chair and her phones on my computer desk.

I kick the sheets from my legs and swing them out of the bed, my feet landing on the plush carpet that seeps between my toes. My eyes scan the halls for any sign of Vega. The bathroom door stands open, nobody is inside and the rest of the house remains dark. I shuffle down the hall toward the movie room, just in case she's inside, and I'm in luck.

She's sprawled out on one of the beanbags, bent completely upside down to see whose coming through the door. Beside her James is wrapped in a blanket with a cup of Gatorade and his eyes are glued to the TV where the Mystery Machine is bouncing along some road while a crappy musical song is blaring out from the speakers.

"Hey Jade. You looked comfortable so I didn't want to wake you up when your brother wandered in. He's got a bit of a fever, says your taking him to the doctor?" she gives me a quizzical look, as if I should've told her yesterday. Which, had I known, I would've told her.

"Am I?"

"That's what mom said." He replies, his eyes glued to the screen still.

"I'll be right back." I step back once and close the door before I'm storming down the stairs and shoving the guest room door wide up. The door crashes against the wall and my mother practically jumps out of the bed. Her usually neat blonde hair is all over the place and her eyes are wide with shock as she stares at me, slack jawed, "you're catching flies." I tell her in a cheery voice with a smile on my face.

She snaps her mouth shut with a click, "why are you in here?"

"What's the doctor's name? Where's it at? What time is the appointment?" I rattle off, knowing all too well I could have asked James and he would have told me. I lean against the door frame, crossing my arms over my chest while I watch her expectantly.

"James…"

"Is sick. You tell me, that's the rule living here. If you need me to do something, fucking tell me." she quickly rattles of the doctors name, Doctor Henry Smith, and the address before mumbling that its at nine and I needed to leave her alone. "Gladly." I grabbed the door handle and jerked it hard so it slammed closed and rattled the walls as I walked back upstairs.

It's about 7:30 so I wander back down to the room to let them know I'm going to shower. Both make noises in the backs of their throats, their eyes on the screen, clearly sucked into the dumb cartoon. My feet carry me down the hall and into the bathroom. I push the door shut and flip the lock instinctively.

I let the pajama pants pool on the ground at my feet while I turn on the shower and I brush my hair out while I wait for it to heat up. By the time I've stripped all of my clothing off the water is warm enough and I step into the shower, pulling the fake blood splatter curtain shut behind me as I stand directly under the spray of the shower head and let the water soak me from my head to my toes, warming me in a rush that sends goosebumps across my body.

I spend an insane amount of time scrubbing the dirt from my skin, until my pale flesh is a gross red color from the wash cloth rubbing at it and then I wash my hair and step from the shower, toweling off quickly before wrapping the towel around my body and picking up the clothes I'd discarded earlier, tossing them into the hamper as I unlock the door and pull it open.

Vega's coming out of my room now, dressed in her clothes from yesterday with her phone in her hand, "hey." She whispered, her eyes scanning over my towel that I'm pretty much holding in place just over my breasts, and then she meets my gaze and her eyes are dark again and she looks terrified, "I'm just going to go home." She steps sideways and spins in an attempt to leave but my hand shoots out before I tell it not to and I'm grasping the ends of my towel desperately with one hand while my other hand locks around Vega's arm and I pull her back as gently as I can.

"Why're you leaving?" I ask, instead of the question I really wanted to blurt. Why was she so scared? Why was she going home if she was that frightened? "You can stay here you know, I don't really want to sit in a doctors office alone…"

"I've got to go home, Jade. And I'm not going anywhere near a doctors office." She pulls her arm from my hand and gives me a smile I've seen a thousand times. A smile that I used to think meant she was fine, and happy, but a smile I can now see is just there for show and that she's truly broken, "I'll be okay anyways, I'll be home alone. Bye Jade, thanks." And then she's walking down the hall and descending the stairs, "Oh, hello again Mister West." I hear and then the door opens and shuts. I race into my room to scramble to put clothes on in a panicked rush.

She's walking home and for some reason I can't let her, ignoring the part of me that realizes that she just told me it was someone at her house. I race to my window and peer out to see she's crawling into Andre's car with that smile on her face, and he's smiling back and laughing as he pulls away from my house, they disappear around the corner a few seconds later.

I step away from the window and fix the shirt I'd hastily thrown on, pulling on a pair of jeans the rest of the way. I'd stopped when I decided to see how far I'd have to run after her, which is when I saw Andre's car. Now that I knew she wasn't walking I took time to look at the clothes I'd tossed on.

A black kiss shirt and a pair of really wrecked jeans that had holes all over the place, I shoved my feet into a pair of combat boots and looked at the clock. 8:30. I sigh and shove my fingers through my wet hair before going on a search for my brother. I find him in the kitchen, munching happily on fruit loops. He grins at me with milk dribbling down his chin before he points to some money and a note.

_Here's some money for the doctors and his insurance card in case there are any problems. _

I roll my eyes and crumble the note up and toss it into the can while I pluck my wallet from my pocket and place the money and card inside. After James finishes his cereal he goes upstairs to wash up and put on something clean, and I clean up his dishes and the few left lying around by one of my parents. James came down soon after and we took a short drive over to a doctor's office.

The building wasn't that big, four floors with his doctor on the second. The walls are all white with random paintings that are meant to be soothing, but barely help the closed in trapped feeling I get with the white walls all around me, but still I steer him into suite 105, sign him in and plop down on an uncomfortably scratchy couch and stare at the screen showing some health channel.

15 minutes after we arrive the nurse calls James back, sighing and shaking her head when she sees me. She doesn't say anything to me though, instead she gets James to step up on the scale, measures his weight and height before ushering us into a room, but she closes the door in front of me and pulls on my arm, "where is Trish?"

"She an important bed to tend to. I'm Jade West, his sister."

"Normally I don't approve of this type of thing, can I see your ID?" I nod, fishing my wallet from my back packet. She checks it and hands it back, "your brother has been in an out of here a lot in the past two months with colds and things. Today we'll be running a lot of tests." I nod and she steps into the room with me right behind her. I sat in a chair out of the way in the corner, ignoring the nurse telling James stories while she drew blood.

My eyes were watching that clear cylinder filling with spurts of blood, three little ones. And then she's plunking a cotton ball on it and taping it. I start to tap my foot on the ground to the beat of Express, the song dancing through my bored mind repeatedly. The dance steps swam through my mind while tests were done.

"Go ahead and go in the bathroom down the hall and fill this up. Stick it in that little cabinet and come on down here, I need to talk to your sister." James nods and runs off down the hall while she leans back against the counter looking down at her clipboard, "how much as your mom told you about his health?"

"Not much, she just moved in with my dad yesterday, how long has James been sick?"

"I'm sorry, you'll really have to ask your mother, which I urge you to do. We'll call when we get the results. Does your mom have the same cell number?" I shake my head no and scribble down all of our numbers for her, anger boiling in my stomach. I swallowed it down, _not the nurse's fault, not the nurse's fault, _I chant over and over in my head.

James reenters the room a few minutes later, a smile on his pale face. I smile down at him, ready to go home and scream at my mother, "Can we go to the park?" he asks, "can I leave?"

"Almost." The nurse tells him. She has him change into one of those gowns and the doctor comes in to do a few more tests, checks his neck under arms and legs, asks a few questions about how he's been, how he's slept, things like that and the whole time I'm glaring out the window thinking of ways to rip my mother limb from limb in the most painful ways possible.

Once the doctors done we step out of the room so my brother can change and then I pay for the visit and the tests will be billed to my house later and now James pulls me out of the building, already having talked me into going to the park. He's already buckled in by the time I get my car door open. I slide into the seat and pull my seatbelt; he's all sorts of excited about it.

I start the car and pull out of my space, driving off toward the park at a slower speed, letting him control the radio, pop shit Tori would like filled my car and pounded against my skull, but I put up with it and acted like it didn't bother me at all. When we pulled up at the park he jumped out and ran up to one of the gym things while I scrambled to follow him out of the car.

I walked over to the abandoned green park bench under a tree and watched him running around with a few of the other kids. Parents huddled around in corners, talking, watching me nervously like I would steal one of their kids or something. I remember those looks well; they were given to my brother when he'd take me to the park. I rest my elbows on my knees and watch my brother with utter boredom.

It doesn't take my mind long to wander, this time to a happier subject. Depending on how you viewed it. My few good memories about this park were the nights that Beck and I would come here and lay up on the crawl tube and just stare up at the sky and talk. The memory made some part of my boxed up heartache, in a sad way but more of a distant ache that I think I'd always have when I thought about Beck. He was the first guy that I had that cared about me, that knew everything about me, and that fell in love with me.

Ryder knew everything, sure, but his love was friendship and occasional sex. He could never love me the way Beck did, I don't know why; I just knew we'd never be able to be like that. Of their own accord my fingers dialed Ryder's number and I pressed my phone to my ear. It rang twice.

"Jade, how are you?"

"I ne-I'm coming over tonight. You busy?"

"Nope. I'm at dads." He replies I can hear a groan of a bed; he's either lying down or getting up. I nod, chewing on my lip, "everything okay?"

"I don't know yet." I respond, "my mom and brother are living at the house for awhile. Anyways, I've got to go get James some lunch soon and then get him home. I'll call you later." I hit the end button and leap off of my perch, dashing to my brother's side where he's laying on the ground a huge kid had just shoved him down and all I want to do it punch him in the face.

But before I can get anywhere near the kid, Vega is crouching on the ground, helping my brother up. I don't know where she came from, but she spins on her heel and starts screaming at the bigger kid, grabbing the back of his shirt as she hauls him away, "You're mom is going to ground you, I hope, and you're going to go to my house and work on your homework for the rest of the day and then read a history book. What the hell do you think you're doing pushing him down. You go over there and apologize." She bellows.

I've reached James now; I'm crouching beside him, checking him over for cuts. He's got a beefy hand print on his arm in red and anger blinds me again as the kid comes up to apologize to my brother, and I whirl around to scream at him, too, but Tori's grabbing my arms tight in her hands and hauling me off of my feet, and away from the kid but anger is bubbling inside me.

"Vega I swear to god if you don't let me go I will hit you." I ball my hands into fists and struggle to break out of her grasp while I watch my brother stand in front of the kid trying not to cry.

"You wouldn't be the first." That defuses my anger in an instant and I stop fighting with her as she lets me go. I turn to her quickly, grabbing her arm because she's trying to walk away, "let me go Jade."

"I'm sorry Tori, I didn't mean it…" she shrugs out of my grasp and walks over to the bigger kid, pulling him away from my brother while I stare after her, "Do you want some lunch?" I ask.

"Can we have McDonalds?" he asks hopefully. I nod slowly, watching Tori's car pull out of the parking space it had been in, my heart aching. The heart I said nobody can hurt. Nobody but me, and I hurt it by hurting her. I just couldn't have any type of friendship could I? I always fuck it up.

"Lets go buddy." I put my arm over his shoulders and steer him to the car, my arms aching where Tori's hands had been clamped down. We get into the car and drive silently through the streets, go through the drive through at McDonalds and get home. I leave him the kitchen with his food and go find my mother as soon as I get there.


	9. Chapter 9

**Fake It**

**Jade's a great actress, one of the best Hollywood Arts has ever seen. She acts okay, and everyone believes her, everyone that is, except for Tori. After her second break up Jade runs back to her old habits and her bad friends with bad reputations and worse habits. Jade's spiraling down a dark path with only her new found friendship with Tori to keep her a float, will Jade fall down, or will new love pull her free?**

**Rated M**

**I do not own the characters mentioned, the places mentioned, or anything else. If I did jori would be canon and it wouldn't be on Nick anymore.**

**To be honest, I didn't have the time to proof read it. I'm so tired from this week. Hope the chapter isn't too bad, feel free to tell me mistakes in reviews if you see them. Enjoy the chapter. Well…yeah..**

Cancer.

The Big C.

Leukemia.

They think my little brother has Leukemia.

They think James has Leukemia.

James could have Leukemia.

James could _die. _

My heart sinks deep in my stomach. My dad said his father had also had leukemia, and that there was a chance that it could be passed down to his kids. He had called my older brother but gotten no answer. Part of me wondered if he'd never found it. Maybe he died. Could I be that lucky? Looking back at my life, I doubt it.

I'd shut my phone off hours ago, after I'd ran into the kitchen and hugged my brother, checking on his lunch and then I told him I was going to sleep because I didn't feel well. Instead I crawled up into my tree, where I was currently balanced, the late night sun splashing across my pale legs, exposed in the shorts I was in. They turned a strange shade of burnt orange. The rest of me was covered by the shadows of the house that the sun had already descended below.

I rested my head back against the tree, feeling bits of my hair wrapping around the old bark. I wanted my mind to go blissfully blank, but all that went through my head was cancer. Death. Loosing the only person in my family I actually cared about. The sun took another twenty minutes to sink below my house, landing me in darkness and the muggy feeling of this time of the year, October stuck to me, my legs, my hair, my skin, my lungs.

"Jade?" a soft voice called, my eyes popped open instantly and I swung down the four branches until I was parallel with my window. James was looking out into the darkness for a few seconds before I stepped from the shadows onto the roof, "there you are, your like a creepy vampire or something. Mom ordered pizza, but she left. The pizza guy is here though, and I don't have money."

"Okay." I make a motion for him to step back and I pull myself into the room, grab my wallet and follow him downstairs. Beck stands in my doorway looking like he's ready to flee even though he can't, "sorry, my mom is…unreliable. How much?"

"24.19." he replied, pulling the two boxes free from their bag. I fished out a twenty and a ten, left over from the doctor's visit, and handed it to him, "thanks. Here, these are hot." He hands them to me carefully.

I take the boxes, which are indeed hot, and juggle them carefully while reaching for the door. James is in the kitchen getting plates, I can hear him clattering around inside, "When did you start delivering pizza?" I ask in a whisper, not sure why the words are slipping out of my mouth.

"My parents decided that I needed to pay for my own things if I wanted to live under 'my own roof' so I got a job. But at least I'm still free." He shrugs. It's the first time we've talked face to face. I miss him. I set the pizza on the table in a blink and toss myself at him. It shocks him and he freezes under my arms for a second before wrapping his arms around my back and holding me tight.

It relaxes me to breathe in his cologne, to have his strong arms around me; I sink into him, tears threatening to fall from my eyes. Tears I refused to cry earlier, coming into my eyes in a rush. My heart hurts and my eyes are burning and I just want to get lost in him, in something, in anything else but the reality swallowing me.

"Are you okay, Jade?" Beck whispers, pushing me back enough to look at my face. The second our eyes meet he seems to know the answer and pulls me back into a hug. I wrap my arms around him tighter and bite down hard on my lip, "do you need someone to talk to?"

"I-I can't talk about it." I whisper. He accepts this in silence, running his fingers through my hair a few times before I pull away from him, swiping the backs of my hands under my eyes, "thanks, Beck. I just needed something…anything."

"It's okay, Jade. I understand. Enjoy your pizza. Find someone you can talk to." He pulls me forward in another hug and kisses the top of my head before departing. I step back into my house, feeling a little bit better. I grab the pizza boxes and close the door, heading for the kitchen. James is at the table, two plates set out. I sit across from him, tossing open the boxes.

"What happened?"

"He needed to find change." I lie smoothly, handing him a slice of the cheesy pepperoni pizza. He doesn't question my answer so I take my own slice of pizza and bite into it, we eat in silence and then I chase him upstairs to shower and change his clothes for bed. I learn I'm supposed to take him to school in the morning and set my alarm for an hour earlier before I crawl into my bed, after tucking him in.

I pick my phone up from my bed and turn it on. Messages fill my inbox and I've got six calls from Ryder. I quickly text him that I've got to watch my brother, so I can't leave and then I check the rest of my messages. A few from people asking about homework, a general Sunday night ritual. I text the answers I know and then get to a few messages from Tori.

_I'm sorry about the park. That kids not usually a handful but his parents are going through a hard time, I'm sorry._

_Please text me back._

_Jade are you okay?_

_Jade!_

_I guess I upset you, I'm really sorry Jade._

I quickly dial her number, only needed to wait two rings before she picks up the phone, "Jade!" she greets, sounding relived to hear me. I hear a lot of hard footsteps and a door, followed by the sound of something being locked. The sound of springs creaking tells me she's sitting on her bed.

"Hey, sorry. I wasn't feeling well so I shut my phone off and went to sleep. I'm sorry about the park. I didn't sleep well last night." It wasn't a lie, even though I'd gotten enough sleep last night I felt completely exhausted after I'd gotten into the car. Even now, lying in my bed, I felt ready to pass out.

"It's okay. Are you alright?" she sounds too worried, like she knows something wrong.

"Did Beck text you?" I ask in a plain voice, tossing my arm over my eyes as I flatten my back against the mattress to crack my spine. I'm rewarded with a few pops, I grin at the ceiling and sigh.

"No." she pauses, I can practically see her chewing on her lip through the phone, "he called me. He just said he was worried about you, and now I am, but I was worried anyways. You looked out of it at the park."

"I don't want to talk about it, Vega." It's a lie; I know it is, she knows it is. Even now I'm crawling out of my window and into my tree, settling at the top while Vega silently waits for me to tell her what's wrong, "my brother's doctors think he has leukemia. My granddad had it, my older brother might've too. James has been sick for awhile I guess. It's why my mom lost her house. He was put on some expensive stuff that his insurance didn't completely cover."

"When will you know?" she completely ignores the older brother comment and I'm relieved in the back part of my mind.

"When they get the CBC and bone marrow results." I sigh, staring up at the leaves in the tree as a spider spins its web down toward me. It's almost completely black and not much bigger then my thumb, "so who knows. My mom and dad left him with me, without telling me, and then Beck came and delivered pizza and he was just there, and he was Beck and he was familiar and I just threw myself at him. I thought I was a mess earlier. God I'm going to fall apart if that's what it is."

"Call me when you find out. I'll come hold you together." I can hear the smile in her voice and of its own accord a smile emerges on my face, my heart jumps, making me painfully aware that Vega would be the only person who could hold me together and painfully aware I wouldn't go to her when I found out. I don't rely on anyone, especially not her. She makes me feel things I don't want to feel.

I hear my mothers car pull into the drive way and watch her make her way to the front door, all the while I'm scrambling out of the tree and into my room, shimming into a pair of jeans while listening to Vega yell at Trina on the other end of the call.

I go downstairs and pass my mom, making an 'I'm leaving' motion before I walk out the door, car keys in hand and crawl into my car. I start it and then back out, sitting in my drive way for a few minutes, listening to Vega scream at her sister, "you okay over there?" I ask, thinking about driving there to find out.

"Yeah. I've got to go, see you tomorrow Jade. Don't get too drunk." And then she hangs up the phone while I pull out of my driveway and text Ryder the word 'soon' and roll through the streets slowly. And then I get the 'okay' text and I'm tearing down the streets faster then I should because I don't care. If I crash, I'll be in pain and it will distract me. If I make it to Ryder's he'll have drugs and alcohol which will black everything out. The pain, the sadness, the fear, the lingering feelings about Vega and Beck all tangled together.

I pull into Ryder's drive way without a hitch, toss myself from the car and make my way up to the porch where Ryder is sprawled out on a bench, "drinks first, questions second." I tell him. He just shrugs and pushes open the door to his house, I walk in and head straight for him room, his footsteps behind me the only indication he'd actually followed me.

There are two bottles sitting on his desk, I snag one and sink onto his bed, he takes the other and sits next to me. I take three long gulps before I lean back against his headboard, "they think James has Leukemia. And it's possible because my granddad had it, and he could die. And they are trying to find out if anyone else in the family had it."

"Did they call Him?" Ryder asks cautiously, taking a sip from the bottle in his hands.

"No answer. Maybe he's dead. Woo." I say unenthusiastically, waving the bottle in the air before putting it to my lips and tipping it back. Ryder makes a noise in the back of his throat and wraps an arm around my shoulder, pulling me close to his body. He's warm and strong, but provides little in the way of comfort; still, I sink into him and drink until I'm unconscious.

Monday morning comes too quick and I'm shuffling down the stairs at four AM to stumble into my car and drive home. When I get there the lights are all off and I sneak into the bathroom, peel of my smoke stained clothing and jump in the shower. I'm in and out in fifteen minutes and creeping into my bedroom to get dressed. I drag a pair of jeans onto my legs, push a shirt over my head, and stuff boots onto my feet, and then I change my mind, deciding my outfit is now screaming that I'm distressed.

I pull the jeans back off, followed by the rumpled shirt, and dig through my closet. I pull free a mesh top and drag it over my head putting on a lacy black tank top over it followed by a skirt and a pair of heeled boots. I run a comb through my hair which falls around my face in curly loops, apply mascara and eyeliner in a rush and then go downstairs.

It's only five am, but I can hear James in the kitchen when I descend the stairs, talking animatedly with someone followed by a familiar laugh and the smell of coffee when I step into the kitchen.

"It's five AM, what the hell are you doing here Vega?" my eyes shoot outside where her car is parked in front of the mailbox, had I missed her car? Or had she recently arrived? The hot Starbucks cup with the name 'Jade' on it holds my answer. I snag it from the counter and place it to my lips, tipping it back so the scalding liquid burn every part of my mouth and all the way down my throat to my stomach where it settled and heat blossomed out.

"I woke up early, figured you'd want some coffee." She shrugs, her eyes flicking down to the left to indicate she was lying. She's leaning against the counter and continuing her conversation with James so I can't call her out and instead I let them have their pointless conversation which I soon learn is about the Scooby Doo movie they were watching yesterday. I tune them out while I chug my drink down with a happy greed and then shoo James upstairs to get dressed.

"You alright, Vega?" I ask, she shrugs without a real answer, sipping the coffee clutched in her shaking hands. I frown and step over to her, plucking the coffee from her fingers and setting it on the counter. She looks up at me, her brown eyes glossy with unshed tears, "do you have your make up with you?" I ask her.

She nods and I make a 'give it to me' motion while drinking my coffee. She pulls out her foundation and face powder, handing them to me as I push her down onto the stool and pull myself up on to one, leaning forward to carefully fix her really bad cover up job on her eye.

I hand her back the makeup once I'm done and she returns it to her bag silently, chewing on her lip, "is it still hurting?" she nods slowly, "how much?"

"Not any more then usual." She replies, her voice is soft and quiet, but I can hear how scratchy it is and she visibly winces when she speaks. I lean forward slowly and tilt her chin up, the skin on her neck is red and she's quick to jerk away from me ducking her head to hide it. Anger burns in my stomach.

"Did you put any honey in your coffee? It might make your throat feel better." I comment off hand, "I usually put a lot in some really hot water and drank it slowly before a throat lozenge." She nods slowly.

"Alright I'm going to go check on James and I'll give you a ride to school. I don't need my friend driving all shaken up." I hold my hand out to her, waiting expectantly for her keys that take less then thirty seconds to land in my palm, "I'll be right back, Vega."

I walk up the stairs and down to my brothers room, his door is closed so I knock on it loudly a few times. It takes him about five minutes to call back that he'll be out in a minute and when he finally comes back out he's dressed in his school uniform and swinging his small backpack onto his back.

Tori is standing by the front door when we get to the stairs and is glaring in the general direction of the kitchen, her coffee cup clutched in her hands. My ears prove that someone is in the kitchen, and since I can see the light on under my father's office door I can only assume my mother is in the kitchen.

It's confirmed when the three of us pass through the kitchen out to the garage, James gives her a small wave goodbye as we pass and I flip her off before pulling the small door shut behind myself, pressing the unlock button for my car. James pulls open the back passenger door and crawls in while Tori reaches to open the passenger door, shaking her head and laughing while I push the button to open the garage door before I get into the drivers seat.

Tori controls the radio, much to James' pleasure, while I drive us toward his school. It takes forever to get there and as soon as he crawls out of the car I'm changing the station from those shitty pop songs to a radio station playing a lyric-less song.

"I'll be back at three!" I call, he nods and waves at us before running up to a group of three kids who separate to let him fall in step with them as they get to the front door. I smile and pull away from the curb, speeding toward Hollywood Arts.

"Why don't you go to that school? They have a great Arts program." Tori wonders aloud, giving herself a reason to turn the radio down.

"My mother doesn't like me, like she likes James. Between the cost of that school and the cost of his doctors bills, she lost her house. Imagine if she, or my dad, had to pay for a private school? Hollywood Arts isn't nearly as expensive." I slow to a stop at a light, "besides, could you ever see me in a uniform?"

"Oh yes, I could." Her tone is a lot more suggestive then either of us should be comfortable with and her neck and chest are flushed red with embarrassment. I grin smugly, turning toward her.

"Having naughty thoughts about me, Vega?" I ask. The red deepens as she leans away, turning to me and scowling with protest.

"You're ridiculous. I'm not a lesbian." She spits the word out like it's a disease and anger coils up in my stomach like a snake ready to strike. I force it back down, I've got to be civil. Tori is my friend. Or I want her to be. She's already hurt. _Down, Jade. _I tell myself, my nostrils flaring as I force myself to breathe out my anger at the hatred in her words.

"You say it like being gay is a bad thing, Vega." I tell her calmly, turning the music back up when she doesn't respond and rolling forward through the light when it turns green. I swear I hear her mutter 'but isn't it', but I push the thought from my mind.

I could never see Vega being someone that is homophobic, but maybe I'm wrong. Either way I pretend I didn't hear it, because I want Vega to be my friend and accept me as a friend, which she wouldn't do if she was homophobic. I turn the radio up higher and fix my eyes on the road ahead of me.

I want to stay silent, and I manage to for most of the ride, but I just can't. I can't not say anything to her about it, because I don't want her to hate me and I hate the thought of her thinking it was wrong. Since we're pulling up at the school and we can flee in different directions I open my big mouth, "You know, nobody would hate you if you were?"

"That's a load of shit." She snarls back, when I turn to look at her she's glaring at me with angry tears in her eyes. She scrambles for the door handle and throws herself out of the car, running toward the school as fast as she can. What the hell?

I shut the car of and let my head fall back against my head rest. What was that about? Why would she think someone would hate her for that? Why would she think anyone would hate her for anything? She's someone even I can't make myself hate, and I hate everyone. I close my eyes and let out a low sigh, pushing out of the car as thoughts of Tori's angry tears roll through my mind. It doesn't hit me until I'm sitting in 4th period. It makes perfect sense now that I think about it, because it's the same reason I used to have, my same logic.

She thinks it's wrong because someone is trying to fix her with their fists. The bruise on her eye, the strangling. The comment about it being wrong. The angry tears, the fear in her voice when she denied being a lesbian. The string of boyfriends she never really kissed unless they kiss her. The way Tori seemed to force herself to watch the sex scene in Burlesque and how Tori watched them dance with open interest. At first I thought she was just watching them because they were a dance, but then I recall the way she watched me.

My mouth fell open in shock and my fists balled up, a few people stared at me as I stared at the clock, counting the moments until the bell rang and I could see Tori in Sikowitz's class. I jump as soon as the bell rings and run out of the room. I burst into the Black Box Theater before anyone else seems to be there, but when I look up on the cat walk I find Tori walking to her chair.

I run around and climb up the steps, rushing toward her. My boots slam loudly on the metal and she pauses, turning to face me with confusion, "I'm sorry if I upset you." I gasp, trying to drag oxygen into my lungs, "I didn't mean to and I'm so sorry."

She looks shocked and her teeth pull her bottom lip captive again, "It's okay." She whispers, "I'm sorry if I upset you, I didn't realize…" I wave off her concern and drop into my chair next to her, reaching over to take her hand. She starts to pull it away but sighs and lets it hang limply in my grasp.

"I'm always going to be here for you, okay?" she nods slowly, removing her hand from my grip now as Sikowitz yells orders at us from below. She quickly obliges and flicks random switches with more knowledge and skill then I knew she possessed when dealing with the lighting.

"It hasn't happened in a while, but I guess my dad saw you that night." She whispers, "he doesn't understand that you're just a friend." I blink at the back of her head, unsure what to say only knowing that the bruise on her cheek and the hand print on her neck are my fault. All my fault. All because of me. I caused this to happen to her, again apparently. It sickens me and the urge to vomit is twisting through me. I swallow it back down.

"I'm so sorry." I say it so softly I don't know if she hears me or not. If she did, she ignored it because she simply leaned forward to call down to Sikowitz and ask if the lighting was okay. My heart as dropped into my stomach and the acid is eating away at me. I make a promise to myself to never go to Vega's place again. If I'm not around he'll stop.

If she stops talking about me, she'll be fine. He won't hurt her if I'm not there. Right? The only way to not get pregnant is to abstain, the only way to know for sure she won't be hurt by him because of me again will be to make sure I'm nowhere near her. She turns to smile at me, a carefree smile that warms the last bits of my heart before my stomach acid completely destroys it. I fake a smile she doesn't seem to see through and silently bid any friendship we could have had together goodbye.

When the bell rings I rush out to the asphalt café to get myself food and take a seat at the table between Cat and Robbie. Beck and Jen join us next, followed by Andre and Tori, I toss her car keys back at her and then I keep my eyes on my food, only looking up to answer a question from Cat, Beck or Robbie and as soon as I'm done I pull out my phone and ignore them all completely, deleting Vega's texts as they come in without reading them, and when she doesn't stop I just let them pile up in my inbox.


	10. Chapter 10

**Fake It**

**Jade's a great actress, one of the best Hollywood Arts has ever seen. She acts okay, and everyone believes her, everyone that is, except for Tori. After her second break up Jade runs back to her old habits and her bad friends with bad reputations and worse habits. Jade's spiraling down a dark path with only her new found friendship with Tori to keep her a float, will Jade fall down, or will new love pull her free?**

**Rated M**

**I do not own the characters mentioned, the places mentioned, or anything else. If I did jori would be canon and it wouldn't be on Nick anymore.**

**I apologize for a lot of things in this chapter:**

**1) it's lateness, I've been sick and I hated how I wrote the original version of this so I had to rewrite it and I couldn't write. I also had a huge art project and my driving test to take, which made me super nervous so I practiced _a lot._**

**2) The spelling errors in this. I'm super tired but I wanted to post this and I wrote most of it tonight. **

**3) If the next chapter is really late.**

**4) How much of a filler chapter this seemed to be, it pretty much was.**

**And in further news, the fun substitute part happened in my art class yesterday(not exactly because the girl it happened to wasn't Jade and I was simply a snickering bystander) but I thought it was funny and I wanted to write it. Yep. That's it.**

**I hope this isn't too horrible, sorry it's short. I hope the next chapter wont take so long. Thanks for reading!**

"I don't understand you, Jade." Ryder slurs, tossing an arm across my shoulder, he's got a beer in one hand and a cigarette hanging from his lips, "you hate Tori, you like Tori, you don't want anything to do with Tori, you want to call Tori. Make up your mine."

"Bite me, Daniels." I snarl, he actually leans over and bites my neck where it meets my shoulder. It makes my vision dot and I almost drop the beer in my hand, not expecting the sudden bite. He lightly presses his lips to the spot he bit before we continue wandering through his back yard.

"What the hell does it matter, Ryder? Why do you care how I'm acting? You're my fuck buddy, my problems aren't yours." I snarl, my fist tightening around the brown bottles neck. He sighs, his arm pulling tighter across my shoulders so I sink into his side. I put the bottle to my lips and tip it back the disgusting liquid rolling through my mouth and down my throat forcing me to grimace, "how the fuck did you con me into drinking this shit?"

"Who knows." He grins, takes a drag from his cigarette and then tosses it to the ground, putting it out with his boot before we walk back inside where there are about 10 kids sitting on the couch pasting a blunt around. I avoid them all and we head into the kitchen where I hop on the counter as Ryder gets me a red plastic cup filled with drinks only he knows. I knock it back quickly, "you wanna talk about her some more?"

"No." he shrugs and leans on the island across from me, looking up at me while I stare into the depths of the red cup, "its just, besides you, nobody has really _tried _to be my friend. Especially not since the breakup. And I don't even know what drew Beck to me, but in the three years we were together we never talked about anything that mattered. And with Tori, she just forced herself on me. Made me talk to her, and I don't know. I guess she just cared."

"Then why don't you just talk to her." Ryder said, like it was the simplest thing in the world.

"I can't and you know that."

"No, I know you think you can't but even in your drunkest state you refuse to tell me so I'm going to guess its something bad." Ryder took a sip from his cup, "but have you stopped to think, maybe she needs you?"

"I'll make everything worse."

"She's all alone."

"She has the rest of them." I counter.

"You're the only one who knows. You're the one she ran to. You're the one she needed."

"Fuck you." I hiss, he shrugs and pushes himself away from the counter, holding out his hand to me. I take it and we leave the kitchen, Ryder holding three bottles of something that might put me in the hospital, and we join the ten in the living room for a fun game of beer pong black out.

At six thirty the next morning Vivian started a rousing round of slam-every-door-in-the-house-open-and-blast-the-radio to wake us up, sending any chance of me being in a good mood slipping down the drains as I dragged myself out of the bed and putting my jacket on and fixing my shirt.

Ryder was watching me with half mast eyelids while I fixed my hair in his mirror and wiped the smudged makeup from under my eyes, "bye." He waved before curling up around his pillow. I closed the door silently behind me and flicked off lights in the hallway as I went into the kitchen where Vivian had the coffee pot brewing some piping hot coffee.

She dumped a generous amount in an over sized coffee mug with strange big headed dogs on it and pushed it toward me with a bottle of creamer which I dumped into it until it turned a milky color, "thanks." I said before walking out to my car, fishing my keys from my jacket pocket.

I drank the whole cup before I made it half way to school and stopped to get a second cup before I made it to class, and then I let again after 3rd to get more coffee and spent fourth in my car drinking it before heading to Sikowitz's class, yet I was still ready for a nap.

"Alright children!" he yelled, walking into the room and casting his bag aside as he made it to the top of the stage, "we're starting our new assignment today, I'd like to congratulate you on the successful play last night, and give you a break, but sadly I don't feel like it. You will get into pairs-which you will draw from a hat, and each of you will get a movie and a song to combine into a new script."

He rambled on about whose names were being left out of the hat-those that were drawing the names from the hat- and then about the requirements for the script. The best in the class will be put up into a pile and one would be selected to be the new play-clearly he was too lazy to come up with his own anymore, "this will be a shared grade with your script writing class." Yippy, "and if you refused to do it or don't work on it, you will get an F for both. No partner switches or movie switches, school appropriate. Yada, yada blah, blah. This will be due by the end of the week, full movie length!"

"Jade pick." He said, since I was sitting closest, "keep the name to yourself."

I grabbed a random paper from the hat and kept it in my hand without reading it, my eyes half closed, "now Tori, you pick the movie and afterwards you can find your partner and discuss what you'll do." Everyone picked new slips, I heard people complaining about the ones they got stuck with, the people, the songs or the movie, it didn't matter. People like complaining, even I did, but they were all getting on my nerves.

"I'm going to assume since everyone is paired up, and since you haven't read your paper yet, that we're paired up." Tori's voice grumbled from in front of me. I uncrossed my arms and opened the slip; Tori Vega was scrawled across it in Sikowitz's horrible handwriting.

"Yep. What do we get?" she hands me the slip as she drops into the seat next to me. _Mr&Mrs. Smith_ and _Anyway You Want It_ by Journey. I fished my notebook out of my bag and we started to jot down idea, I'd write one first and then she'd write another one or add something to mine. We didn't really say anything to each other.

When the bell rang to dismiss us we went our separate ways, her to Andre and Cat and me out to the asphalt café to get something from the Grub Truck before I plunked myself down at a table by myself, my back to the usual table occupied by my friends. I picked at my burger with disinterest, sipping at the soda I'd bought and staring at the black iron fence that circled the eating area.

I was staring down at my burger when the table shook and I picked my head up to find Beck and Jen sitting across from me. Beck flashed me a smile and then started to eat, Jen gave me a similar smile before picking up her burger and scribbling in her notebook while she ate.

"What are you two doing?" I hissed through gritted teeth.

"Sitting with you?" Beck said, like it was the most obvious thing in the world, and then went back to his burger. I sighed, finding myself lacking the energy to argue with them. Instead I just ate my burger in silence as well. That is, until Vega, Andre and Cat plunked themselves down around the table.

I glared at each of them in turn, including Cat, but if she even noticed she didn't care. Andre just ignored it and played his keyboard, Vega's eyes watching his fingers closely, "I still keep getting nagged to find an instrument, but I just can't get any of them down. None of you guys play an instrument, do you?"

She glances around the table, "I play the drums." Beck tells her, pausing in his eating of the sandwich.

Jen picks her head up with a slight smile on her lips as she does, "I play the harmonica." She, too, turns away. Andre just shakes his head as Cat squeaks where she's sitting, grinning from ear-to-ear.

"Cat, tell her what instrument you play." I demand in a light voice, she squeaks some more, grinning and I'm not really sure what about the stupid instrument makes her so happy.

"I play the oboe!" she says with delight, almost bursting my ear drums when she yells it. Almost everyone winces. I shake my head and look back down at my food, picking at the burger with disinterest.

"What about you Jade?" she asks.

"Piano." I mumble.

"Really?"

"Does it shock you?" I ask her, she nods and I roll my eyes ignoring her and looking over Beck's head so maybe she'll leave me alone. Unfortunately luck isn't on my side today and she leans on the table, too interested for my liking.

"Play something." Beck comments, I swing my eyes to his in a glare and he grins, "I could never get you to play for me."

"You're not getting me to, today, either." I tell him. Beside him Cat looks at me with pleading eyes, which our mirrored by Vega, Andre, Beck and even Jen. I sit up abruptly, lean over Vega and hastily play the Harry Potter theme song on Andre's keyboard before slumping back into my seat, "happy now?"

"That was the Harry Potter theme song!" Cat giggles, "I didn't know you liked Harry Potter, Jade!"

"My brother does so I learned it for him." I snap. It's not really a lie, he does like Harry Potter, but I'd learned it when I was little. My parents forced me into piano classes, because apparently _that _was an acceptable art. And I loved every minute of it. A prodigy my teacher liked to call me, and my only classmate. Andre.

"Come on Jade, quit being such a sour puss." Andre grinned at me, "you love-."

"Shut it, Harris." I warn him, he sighs at me and starts playing a song I didn't recognize. It sounds lovely and I find the notes weaving their way through my mind, my fingers itched to play the song, too and I wanted to hit Andre in the head for purposely doing this to me, if the grin on his face said anything for it. After lunch I stomped into my chemistry class and sat in my seat, thankfully in the way back, with my head down on the table. I was completely exhausted and all I really wanted to do was take a long nap.

A textbook thudded on the table beside me and I picked my head up in time to see Vega walking to her seat at the large table next to mine. I glared at her through the strands of hair covering my face before dropping my head back onto my folded up arms, my head was still throbbing, my eyes itched to stay closed, but once more a book was slammed on the desk and I was forced to sit up. Tori was now sitting beside me, one leg crossed over the other, elbow propped on the desk, her fingers weaved through her hair as she read her book, not looking at me.

I sat up enough to rest my head in my hand and stare at her, my eyes following the curly waves of her long hair down to the table where they pooled around her elbow where her purple sleeves were bunched up from being too warm outside. Her glasses were perched on her nose and her eyes took in the words of her book slowly, running across each line as if she were drinking the words with her eyes. They widened when she got to a good part, her mouth falling open in a soft gasp. I chuckled and she turned to look at me as the classroom door was slammed open.

She about fell from her desk and my arm shot out to grasp her arm and keep her on the stool, slowly my head turned to where she was staring. A grunch-y looking sub stood in the door way. She was a squat woman with curly white hair a scowl on her face, which from the lines on her face, I could tell was permanent. She walked up to the desk, picked up the attendance sheet and barked our names.

"I count one too many, which of you isn't supposed to be here."

"I'm not on the attendance sheet-." Tori started to say.

"Then get _out_." She demanded. Vega's eyes popped open wide and her jaw went slack.

"She's the TA. She's supposed to be in here." I told the woman as polite as I could manage.

"Did I ask _you_?"

"No. Because you didn't let her finish. So I'm _telling _you she's the teachers assistant and she's supposed to be in here." I growled, everyone was watching either me or her. She had her beady blue eyes narrowed at me and her mouth pulled into a tight smile. My own mouth curled into a huge grin and I tilted my head sideways at her.

"You're not cute." She snapped.

"Really?" I asked, a few people laughed, but she didn't find me funny.

"Be quiet."

"You be quiet!" I snapped.

"_Get out!_" she bellowed, nostrils flaring. I grinned.

"Gladly!" I stated calmly, hopping up from my stool and grabbing my bag, "fucking bitch." I grunted as I stormed past her, yanking the door open with the same ferocity as she had. It slammed against the wall beside it as I passed through and slammed shut behind me.

Not even two minutes later the door quietly opened and Tori stepped out, "hey Vega, come on." I grabbed her wrist and tugged her down the hallways and into the Black Box Theater, which was thankfully empty. I went up the steps to the stage and plopped down just beyond the curtain so we couldn't be seen from the door.

"You shouldn't have done that." she tells me when she settles in a chair beside me. I shrug, letting my bag fall to the ground.

"I do a lot of things I shouldn't, but she was being a complete asshole and I'm hungover." I grab my notebook out of my bag and flip it open to the page we'd been scribbling ideas on. I read over them and adjust a few before passing the notebook to her. She silently accepts the book and reads my changes over before scribbling her own idea down.

"So, how do you want to work on this outside of school, because you know Sikowitz won't let us do this during class all week and we can't get kicked out of Science everyday." I grin up at her and she smiles.

"Well my dad usually gets home early and insists on driving me everywhere, so I don't know…" she pushes her fingers through her hair with a groan, "maybe if-. I don't know." While she thought this over I opened up my music player and put on Aerosmith radio, I skipped the first song and Queen came streaming through the speakers.

Tori shook her head when she heard, "Are you gunna take me home tonight? Ah down beside that red firelight." We sang together, "are you gunna let it all hang out tonight? Fat bottom girls you make the rockin' world go round!"

I smiled and shook my head, snatching the notebook back and glancing down at our compiled list of ideas, "maybe I can work on it one night, you can work on it the next and then we'll meet before school and during lunch to work on it."

"Are you sure?" she asked biting her lip.

"It's fine Vega, I'll take it tonight and then work on some of it and show you tomorrow, get here at six thirty and we can work on it together before school starts." I tell her, "for now, we need to narrow down a single idea."

I scratch out the ideas and frown, lying on my stomach while I write, Vega's reading something intently so I scribble down the lyrics in the margin.

"Maybe two assassins that meet on a job to kill the same person and keep running into each other, falling for each other during secret meetings until they're fall too far and their bosses find out and order them to kill each other or go on the run." Tori offers up.

"That's not to far off from the original plot, but it's a good start." I scribble the idea down.

"He falls in love with her and she's his target but he doesn't know he's her target?" I scribble that down too, chewing on my lip deep in thought, "and maybe as a twist in the end, she picks her job over him?"

"Good twist." I nod, scribbling that down, "I think we can work with that, obviously thicken it up. Why's he her target, why is she his etcetera, etcetera, blah, blah, blah." Tori shakes her head at me chuckling softly as she leans over me to read the paper, her hair brushes over the back of my neck and falls over my head, blending with it as she reads the paper.

"She works for the CIA he's MI6."

"She's MI6 he's CIA." Tori nods, her hair bobbing around my head, "and MI6 thinks he screwed up their mission-which he did but he didn't know, and the CIA think she's a terrorist or something."

"That would work, like how in Salt she was CIA turned out to be a Russian spy and she fake killed the Russian president or whatever?" Tori leans over and snatches the pen from me, writing down the idea with an arrow pointing from 'Jane Smith'. I smirk and snatch the pencil back from her.

We spend the rest of the period working and then I skip before 7th period, simply because I'm too tired to sit in a dark room and watch Romeo and Juliet. When I get home I head straight to my bed and pass out not even ten seconds after my head hits the pillow.


	11. Chapter 11

**Fake It**

**Jade's a great actress, one of the best Hollywood Arts has ever seen. She acts okay, and everyone believes her, everyone that is, except for Tori. After her second break up Jade runs back to her old habits and her bad friends with bad reputations and worse habits. Jade's spiraling down a dark path with only her new found friendship with Tori to keep her a float, will Jade fall down, or will new love pull her free?**

**Rated M**

**I do not own the characters mentioned, the places mentioned, or anything else. If I did jori would be canon and it wouldn't be on Nick anymore.**

**I'll just save the excuses, I got busy with school and being sick so I haven't posted. Longer chapter then the past few, hope you enjoy! Alas, the drama is not over yet, but it shall be soon! **

**Enjoy~**

"Vega…" I called softly, leaning over the table where she was half asleep, her face pressed against the green painted table, mouth parted and snoring softly, "Tori…"

Her eyelids blinked open slowly and she stared at me with glossy eyes, "Jade?" she murmured, blinking slowly as she sat up carefully, wincing. I slipped onto the bench seat beside her, leaning on the table to meet her eyes as she stretched out her back.

"Did you sleep here?" I asked. She nodded, pushing her fingers through her tangled hair, "what happened?" I spun my coffee cup around a few times on the table. It didn't spin really easily with the holes on the table top.

"My mom and dad were fighting and Trina's new house is too far away." She replied, sitting up a bit straighter. She was still in the clothes she was wearing yesterday and her makeup was smudged on her face and there were imprints from the table on her cheek, "It got really cold last night." She commented randomly, looking away from me.

I sighed, shoving my coffee over to her, her hands closed around the warm cup and she smiled softly, "I have some clothes in my car that you can wear so nobody asks." I stand up and she follows me back over to my car, sipping at my coffee the whole time. I frown because I really wanted that coffee. I'd stayed out way too late last night; I don't think I even slept for an hour.

"Why are you here so early? It's not even six yet." She asks randomly while I dig around in my backseat to find the bag of clothes I'd kept in my car if I ever overslept at Ryder's. Once I find it, tucked under a few scripts and a pillow, I tug it free.

"I guess you'll just have to wonder." I tell her, handing her the bag as I nudge my car door closed with my hip. I grab her arm and drag her up to the school doors. It's still early so the main doors are locked, but I know that if you walk around to Sikowitz's window he'll be here, so I drag her around the school and tap on the window three times quickly with my finger nail. A few minutes later Sikowitz's face appears in the window. He pushes it open when he recognizes us and walks away once more.

I climb through the window effortlessly. Sikowitz is sleeping on a blow up mattress, or he appears to be sleeping, in the corner and ignores Tori when she says hi as I pull the door open and head into the hallway. She trails behind me through the dark hallways, "bathrooms should be unlocked. I'll be in the Black Box." I tell her before disappearing into the dark theater.

I make my way up the stairs and duck around the curtain that has been closed part way. I flick on the flashlight app on my phone and wave it around the stage where I find the piano has been left out from a performance last night. I drop my bag by the wall and slip myself onto the bench. It's cold and hard beneath my bare thighs. I run my fingers lightly over the cool keys and press down experimentally to see if I've found middle C. I find it and grin happily playing a short little melody.

It's been a long time since I've touched a piano, my father locked the piano room downstairs and I was hardly ever home anyways. But now I was home all of the time and I still had yet to venture downstairs into that room, not with my parents down there. My fingers start playing a song on their own, which I recognize easily as the song I'd been belting out in the car earlier, "I'm 15 for a moment, caught in between 10 and 20, and I'm just dreaming, counting the ways to where you are."

"I'm 22 for a moment, she feels better than ever and we're on fire, making our way back from Mars. 15 there's still time for you, time to buy and time to lose, 15, there's never a wish better than when you've only got a hundred years to live." My hands seem to flow like water over the cool keys, my eyelids fall over my eyes and I hunch over the keys playing from memory. I feel electricity flow through me a grin pulls onto my face for a beat.

"I'm 33 for a moment, still the man, but you see I'm a they, a kid on the way a family on my mind. I'm 45 for a moment, the sea is high and I'm heading into a crisis, chasing the years of my life." I recall hearing the door open, but it's in the part of my mind that's clouded over by the music, by how much I missed loosing myself in the piano. By simply having me and a piano and nothing else.

"15 there's still time for you, time to buy and time to lose yourself, within a morning star. 15 I'm alright with you, 15 there's never a wish better than this, when you've only got 100 years to live." I feel someone slide onto the bench beside me but I just keep playing as Vega's nervous voice joins me.

"Half time goes by, suddenly you're wide, another blink of an eye, 67 is gone, the sun is getting high we're moving on. I'm 99 for a moment, dying for just another moment and I'm just dreaming, counting the ways to where you are, 15 there's still time for you, 22 I feel her too, 33 you're on your way. Every day's a new day." I play while Vega adds in woo's. I mostly ignore her.

"15 there's still time for you, time to buy and time to choose, hey 15 there's never a wish better than this when you only got a hundred years to live." I play the next notes, and my hands linger over the keys for a few extra seconds when I'm done.

"That's beautiful." She whispered.

"Five For Fighting." I comment.

"Not the song, how you played it." She says, "I know whose song it is. Play another."

"No."

"Come on, nobody else will find out. I wont even tell anybody, I swear." She turns to look at me with pleading eyes, "Come on Jade."

"If it will shut you up." I grumble, running through a list of songs in my head. I can't think of a single one I can play in front of her at the moment. Every song that pops up his some sad piece that will make one or both of us cry. I never really learned 'happy' songs because I left my emotions from my life come out in piano.

"How about Your Song, do you know that?" she asks.

"Yeah." It's a lie, I've never played it before but I've heard the song enough times to play it. I put my fingers in position and then slowly start to play. I have to slide closer to Vega to play the song, but she doesn't protest.

"It's a little bit funny this feeling inside; I'm not one of those who can easily hide. I don't have much money but boy if I did, I'd buy a big house where we both could live. If I was a sculptor, but then again no, or a man who makes potions in a traveling show. Oh I know it's not much but it's the best I can do, my gift is my song and this one's for you." Vega sang softly, "And you can tell everybody this is your song, it may be quite simple but now that it's done, I hope you don't mind, I hope you don't mind, that I put down in words, how wonderful life is while you're in the world."

I took over the song now, "I sat on the roof and kicked off the moss, well a few the verses well they've got me quite cross, but the sun's been quite kind while I wrote this song, it's for people like you that keep it turned on. So excuse me forgetting but these things I do, you see I've forgotten if they're green or they're blue, anyway the thing is what I really mean, yours are the sweetest eyes, I've ever seen."

"And you can tell everybody this is your song, it may be quite simple but now that it's done, I hope you don't mind, I hope you don't mind, that I put down in words, how wonderful life is while you're in the world." Vega finished while I played the last of the song.

"Now, can you buzz off so I can keep playing." I snap. She laughs softly but doesn't move so I pull the cover down over the keys and cross my arms over my chest in anger but it doesn't affect her since she can't even see me. I spin off of the bench and search for my bag in the darkness. She's moving around the stage behind me, I hear her feet silently pad down the steps of the stage and stop.

When I look down where I thought she'd be standing I find her phone lighting up her face. She's staring at the screen intently biting her lip; she looked like she was ready to fall apart. I shuffle over to the steps and hastily go down the three of them coming to a stop behind her.

"What's wrong?" I whisper.

"My mom texted me." she replied in a hushed voice, "she left. She left my dad and she's saying goodbye to me." her shoulders started to shake as the phone shut itself off and I hear her trying to muffle her crying. I reached out in the darkness until I wrapped my fingers around her shoulder and pulled her back to wrap my arms around her. She spun and buried her face in my shoulder, crying against me. I held her like that as she cried, for the next twenty minutes. I held her tighter when she put her arms around me and started to sob for another ten minutes before she calmed herself down.

"Let's sit down." I whispered, pushing her toward the chairs. I helped her find a seat and sat down beside her, taking her hand in mine. She squeezed it hard, sniffling, "You're going to be okay, Tori."

"No, no I won't Jade." She murmured, "He's going to kill me. Or worse. I'm scared, Jade. I'm scared and I'm all alone."

"No, you're not. I'm here. You'll be okay. You'll be 18 in December. That's less than two months away." She jerked her hand from mine abruptly with an indignant snort. I frowned.

"You're here? No, you're here for now. What happens when I get hurt and then I need you? You're just going to run away again!" I couldn't blame her; really, I had left her like a complete bitch. I wouldn't trust me, either.

"I'm really sorry Tori, I was being an idiot. Okay? I was scared for you, you told me it started when he saw me with you, what the fuck did you expect me to do?"

"I don't know, Jade." She replied sounding hollow and empty and most importantly scared, "Look, the rest of the gang is probably here, so I'm going to go find them." I heard her walk away and light flooded the theater when she opened the door. She paused to look back at me, shook her head and then walked out of the room. I sighed and stood up again, heading back up on the stage. Fuck, just fuck everything. I couldn't cope with anything else or my world was going to crumble around me.

I open the piano cover and prop it up before uncovering the keys. I played random notes with one hand, the other plays with the strings of my dresses skirt. Fucking Vega. Fucking, fuck, every thing really. Fuck my life, my 'family', these feelings, my nights that are spent getting so drunk I wish I forgot everything, but I never forget and those rare nights when I'm home watching James everything I've ever done flashes before my eyes and I just can't handle it anymore. Not at all. My second hand joined the first on the cool keys.

I can't handle remembering the nights I spent cowering in fear locked in my room to hide from Tommy or my arguing parents. I can't handle remembering myself tumbling down in a spiral toward drugs worse then pot. I can't handle remembering sleeping around. I can't handle remembering how much I loved Beck and how _I _screwed everything up.

I can't take remembering that my little brother probably is dying or that I caused Vega's dad to start hurting her again. I can't take Tori's voice telling me she doesn't know and that she's alone and that's mostly my fault because I walked away from her. She came to me for help and I ran away.

I ran away from her like my mother ran from me. I was becoming my mother. I was becoming the woman I've hated for most of my life. Someone who abandons those who count on her. No I was becoming worse then my mother, I wasn't just abandoning people who counted on me. I was abandoning people who needed me, who wanted me around, who cared about me.

My stomach twisted, a burning inside me begged for the things I knew would make me forget. The drugs I'd kept away from, for the most part. The strong ones that made me forget how I felt. Or even the ones that made me happy and dance. Anything. All I had to do was go to Ryder, just go to him and beg him to give me relief from all of this. From the memories. I was wrong when I said I could cope with life, I couldn't deal with it. I was weak, broken, and incapable of handling anything.

I was useless.

I _am _useless.

My eyelids dropped over my eyes, obstructing the flow of tears down my face. I keep my eyes closed for a few minutes until I hear the door open and the dimmers turn on, burning my tear filled eyes. Andre's walking toward the stage, tossing his bag into a random chair while I start to play an actual song without actually thinking about it. That's how it's always been though, I space out and my fingers take over and I've just started playing something anything. The first thing that comes to mind when I see someone or think something.

"Ah, the first song we played together." He comments, I roll my eyes, cursing my hand for playing the stupid song. Andre sits on the bench beside me and starts to play the song while I stop for his piece before I returned my hand to the keys and played my part of the piano duet from the Corpse Bride. He played, then I played, and then him. I wait patiently for the part where she plays again and join in, glaring at him while he smiled at me. I was still crying and I hated it, "play me what you feel?"

"I don't want to feel."

"Play me the Titanic song."

"No." he starts to play it instead while I glare at him, my fingers still poised over the keys. He's playing in the wrong key and it makes me madder then I already was. I slap his hands from the keys and play the part the right way. He's smiling, having gotten his way.

"Sing." He says it in a soft voice, but it grates on my nerves anyways.

"Andre."

"Fine. I will." He shrugged, listening closely to the song for a few minutes, probably trying to figure the words out. Whatever. "Near, far, wherever you are. I believe that the heart does go on. Once more you open the door, and you're here in my heart and my heart will go on and on."

"Love can touch one time and last for a life time, and never let go til we're gone." I sang along softly under my breath, barely audible over the loud piano and Andre's voice singing the exact same words.

"Love was when I loved you, one true time I hold to, in my life we'll always go on. Near, far, wherever you are, I believe that the heart does go on. Once more you open the door and you're here in my heart and my heart will go on and on. You're here, there's nothing I fear and I know that my heart will go on. We'll stay forever this way, you are safe in my heart and my heart will go on and on."

"I hate you sometimes, really." Andre gives me that smile of his. That one that means he actually cares and he wants you to feel better and I can't handle anyone being nice to me anymore. I'm done, over it and I want to hit him for making me ready to cry. But instead I just throw my arms around his neck and sob against his shirt like I'm the person with all the problems in the world.

He pulls me closer to him on the bench and wraps an arm around my back while the other moves until his hand is running soothingly down my hair. I snuffle and sob and get salty tears and snot all over his shirt but he doesn't say anything about it or my crying or ask me what's wrong. He just sits there like he always has and holds me while I cry.

He's never asked what was wrong, or begged me to tell him where the bruises were or why I looked higher then a kite and hated being anywhere in the light. He never asked, he was just there, holding me up when I was falling apart. But no. He can't be here, not now. I don't need him. Tori does.

I push away from him angrily, glaring at him, "why are you here?" I hiss.

"I heard you were in here-."

"I don't care why you're here. I meant why aren't you with Tori! She needs someone right now not me!" I scream at him like everything is his fault. His brows push together and he gives me a questioning look, holding me by my shoulders at arms length.

"She was leaving with her dad when I saw her…"

"What!" I screeched, grabbing his arm and yanking him closer to me, "where was she going? Did she look okay?"

"She just waved goodbye and thanked me for letting her sleep on my couch."

"What did you say!" I screamed.

"I said that she was welcome. Why do you care?" I stand up quickly, grabbing his arm and yanking him up behind me, dragging him down the stairs so fast both of us almost tripped, "Jade! Jade where are we going!"

"Tori's in trouble! You big dope!" I screeched as loud as I could, digging my nails into his bare arm as I dragged him from the school, only letting him go once I got to my car. I stumbled into the driver's seat and started it, rolling down the window, "get in!"

He obeyed, sending a nervous glance to Beck and Jen who were passing by the car. Beck sent me a concerned look and I knew I must've looked completely wrecked as I slammed the car into reverse and screeched out of my spot, slamming it into drive and tearing out of the parking lot to Vega's house.

"What are you doing, Jade?"

"Has Tori not told you anything?" I screamed, he looked frightened, clutching the door in fear as I sped _way _over the posted limit. He shakes his head, "God, fuck!" I punched the steering wheel as I went through a red light. Andre's eyes were like saucers.

"Jade what's going on?"

"Tori's in trouble, okay?"

"She went home with her dad!" he argued.

"_She's in trouble!"_ I screamed, "Christ, just listen to me Andre! She's in trouble!" I take my hands off the wheel for a second and I loose control, we skid and jerk around until finally slamming to a stop. Andre reaches over and pulls the keys from the ignition.

"We're no use to Tori if we're dead Jade!" he yells when I claw at him to get the keys back. I sigh, "Move over here, I'll drive." He gets out and I crawl over to the passenger seat while he jogs around the car and starts it once more, speeding 10 miles slower then I was but at least 5 over the limit.

When we get closer to Tori's house a cop car passes us and I easily recognize her father speeding by us alone in the car, "faster Andre, now!" he obliges and we're in Vega's drive way in two minutes, I'm out of the car before he gets it shut off and I pound on her door until I realize she wont open it. I jiggle the handle and shove at it before giving up and picking the lock while Andre stood behind me. As soon as the door was open I took in the trashed living room, a tipped over lamp, displaced couch cushions that make it look like somebody crawled over to escape someone else.

The pictures lining the stair well as askew, I notice, as I rush up the stairs with Andre behind me. Vega's door is closed and I reach forward and turn the knob, it's locked. I push against it and it doesn't move, "Tori?" I call softly, "Tori, it's Jade, your dads gone, Andre's here, Tori are you okay?"

"Jade…" I hear her call back, her voice is shaking and she sounds terrified and my heart in slamming against my throat as I lean against the door, wishing it would disappear and I could get to her.

"Tori, open the door, its okay. Nobody will hurt you, please open the door." I call, pressing my ear to the door. I hear her feet moving across the floor. Something scratches against the door and then the lock clicks and I step back while the door swings open to reveal her standing there.

Tears roll from her eyes, she's got a red hand print on her arm and cheek, but she looks otherwise unharmed, but terrified. I step forward slowly, "Tori, I'm so sorry…" I reach out and take her hand in mine gently closing it around her fingers, "are you hurt too bad?"

"Just a slap…" she whispers, "I'll be okay." Her whole body is shaking now and she's looking over my shoulder at Andre.

"I'll get you some water. You pack a bag after you calm down a bit, okay? We'll get you outta here." Andre says in his calm voice and her shaking lessens as I hear him walk away. I pull her closer and carefully wrap my arms around her. She puts her arms around me and presses her face into my shoulder, but she doesn't cry.

"You can stay at my house, for as long as you need." I tell her. She fully leans against me, now holding onto me like her life depends on it and I realize it does and I realize I care and I don't want her to have to be alone or scared or to have nobody to turn to. I want to be her friend, and I want to keep her safe, "let's pack you a bag, okay?"

She steps away from me, nodding slowly as she steps over to her closet, grabbing a bag with shaking hands from the top shelf. She throws clothing into it carelessly and I know she's in a rush to leave. When Andre returns I take the bag from her and force her to sit on her bed and drink the water while I repack the bag neatly and ask her if she needs anything else. She directs me to what she needs and after I've asked her 6 times if that's it she says yes and we're walking out the door.

Andre drives us back to the school so he can get his car and we go back to my house, put Tori's stuff in my room and go into my movie room upon Tori's request for a distraction. Both of my parents are out of the house and James is back at school, finally feeling better even though we haven't gotten results from the doctor, so it's just the three of us.

We watch a marathon of Disney movies and Tori sits squashed between Andre and I, her head resting on Andre's shoulder and her legs tossed over my lap. She's still in my purple top and shorts so her tan legs are lying across my pale ones and I stare at the contrast for awhile ignoring the movie on the screen.

It takes about 6 movies for Tori to pass out and I have Andre carry her into my room and lay her in my bed so she doesn't get a sore back or neck and we go sit out on the roof so she'll see us through the window if she wakes up.

"I had no idea that she was in trouble. I feel like an idiot for not picking up on it." He mutters.

"She didn't want you to know."

"Why'd she tell you?"

"I don't know. I could name a million possibilities and never guess the right one. When that happens to you your reasons for doing certain things become distorted and confused." I mutter.

"Like for you it was playing piano until your fingers were bruised and then throwing a huge tantrum when you're parents came to get you." He observes, watching me in case he's said something that would upset me, but it doesn't.

"Jade West tantrums are the best." I laugh, staring down at the empty pool, "thank you for taking the keys. We probably would have died otherwise."

"Well if I die I want to die doing something cool, like sky diving or being an assassin, not getting in a car crash with a nut job rushing off to save her princess. I'll be the hero when I die, thank you very much." He grins at me and I smile back, "besides, if we'd crashed we might've killed someone else."

"Well on behalf of the family I might've killed, I thank you kindly, Sir Harris, for saving us all." I do a mock half bow while still sitting and trying not to fall off of the roof and it makes him laugh really hard. When he finally stops we both turn to look back on my bed where Tori is still soundly passed out, "I hope she doesn't haven't nightmares. Even Prince Charming can't save her from those."

"Maybe Princess West can." Andre says with a shrug, "You're the one she wants, you know."

I snort, "yeah right." And my eyes go back to that fucking pool, but now I just think about getting it refilled so I can go swimming. We have a heater, but after we got it retiled we just never refilled it.

"You know, I had a crush on you awhile back." He says randomly, I turn and raise an eyebrow at him, "yeah, yeah, seeing you sing just has that effect on people. You seem so sweet and innocent. Not all evil and scary. It gets to people sometimes. Anyways, she got so freaked out and helped me 'get over it' and truth is, I was over it in like a few minutes, just because I think of you as more of a sister usually, but I had fun toying with her and she tried so hard to get me not to like you and it was so funny. She even dressed up like you!"

A wave of laughter burst out of me and I grabbed my stomach as I clapped a hand over my mouth to muffle the sound, "Vega dressed up like me? Oh that's hilarious! What I wouldn't give to see that!"

Andre pulls his phone out and leans over to show me a picture of Tori dressed up as me and I'm crying with laughter at how adorable she looks dressed up as me a pair of scissors in her hand as she gives the camera a glare. I take his phone and sign into my Slap profile and upload the pictures. Andre rolls his eyes at me and takes his phone back when I'm done, "she's gunna kill us."

"Good." I laugh, lying back on the roof until the laughter dies down and I'm staring at the brightly lit sky with a yawn rolling up from my stomach that makes my eyes water, "I'm so freaking tired." We both crawl back into my room and I curl up on the floor on a bean bag dragged in from the movie room with Andre curled up on one beside me and it's surprisingly comfortable and I fall asleep rather quickly.


	12. Chapter 12

**Fake It**

**Jade's a great actress, one of the best Hollywood Arts has ever seen. She acts okay, and everyone believes her, everyone that is, except for Tori. After her second break up Jade runs back to her old habits and her bad friends with bad reputations and worse habits. Jade's spiraling down a dark path with only her new found friendship with Tori to keep her a float, will Jade fall down, or will new love pull her free?**

**Rated M**

**I do not own the characters mentioned, the places mentioned, or anything else. If I did jori would be canon and it wouldn't be on Nick anymore.**

I knock softly on Tori's door, pressing my ear against it. She makes no noise so I take that to mean she's sleeping, and at 2 in the morning on a Saturday I'd expect nothing less. I walk silently down the hall, pausing before the stairs to listen for anyone being awake. Everyone is quiet, probably asleep, too. I tiptoe down the stairs, into the kitchen and out the side garage door, heading to the basement.

A guy I don't know opens the door for me and I slip down past him with a smile, breathing in the smoke so deeply it burns my lungs. I beeline for Ryder who is on the couch, he hands me a drink that he was stirring with a spoon; I take it and greedily gulp it down. Night after night I come down here, Ryder mixes me a drink usually with some kind of something mixed into it and I get become deliriously happy.

Tonight they have some great music thumping around the basement. I grin and join a bunch of girls dancing to the upbeat music. The air down here is hot and thick, it makes my skin sticky and I sweat almost instantly. But I don't care, I just strip off my jacket, kick off my shoes and dance and sweat until Ryder's arms wind around my waist and he gets me back to my house.

He leaves once he knows I'm tucked in my bed and I try to pass out, but I'm too wound up. I get up and take a shower, trying to cool off but it doesn't help too much so I just give up and go back into my room where I find Tori sitting on my bed, "what are you doing in here?"

"I woke up…your room smells like smoke."

"I was with Ryder."

"Drinking?"

"Yep." I walk over to my dresser and pull out a pair of underwear, sliding them up my legs and onto my ass before I drop my towel and pluck a large t-shirt from the bottom drawer, I tug it over my head, "and something really great in the drink too. Makes me all happy."

"That's fantastic, Jade." She sounded annoyed, angry even, and she glared at me. Not that I give a shit. Not then anyways, not with the drugs and alcohol running rampant through me, you could tell me I was dead and I wouldn't have blinked.

"What's wrong with you, Vega?" I grin, sauntering over to her, "I knocked on your door to see if you could come with."

"As if I would. God you disgust me sometimes, Jade. Go to sleep." She stands up pretty fast, grabs me and pushes me into my bed, staring at me for a few minutes with disgust clear on her face.

"Come on Vega!" I call, reaching for her hand, I don't even know why. But now she's got two hands and I grab at one and miss, I go for the other and then both fly back and then there's two Vega's and my vision is all fuzzy and she looks angry.

"You disgust me." she repeats again. I feel my mouth tip into a smirk and then my head hits the pillow and everything disappears and I remember thinking that I should probably find out what it is Ryder gave me tonight.

Something was cold against my stomach, like freezing rain. Why was I outside? I tried to force my eyes open, but I couldn't. I could make out words, talking or something like it. Finally slits of light slipped into my eyes, bright light. So it wasn't raining.

"No…out….fine…care….go." I made those words out to be a female voice. I struggled to get my hands under my body and sit up, but when I did I slipped farther down, the rain now soaking my upper body, "out!" the female yelled, a door closed, someone else screamed something a lock flipped.

Open, open, open.

My eyes refused to listen; I got my arms under my body and pushed up until I was sitting up. A cold, slick, wet surface was beneath my butt, my hands were aching from holding my body up, I let myself drop back down, sliding into the cold spray.

My eyes opened further and I could see a dark blurry figure hovering in front of me as something roared in my ears. The top of the figure shook back and fourth, sighed. I guess it was a person.

"Jade…feeling….idiot." it said, I yawned trying to pop my ears, but it didn't help. The noise kept on roaring. The figure moved forward, pushed down on something, the roaring stopped, "Jade?"

"Tori?" my voice sounded scratchy, my mouth was dry, my head hurt, "turn the lights off."

"Okay." The blur got bigger, moved across the room, darkness swallowed the blur, or the blur swallowed the light. My head stopped hurting now, or the hurt lessened to a dull ache. I can't tell. It just isn't as bad as it was, that's for sure.

"Jade, can you remember anything from yesterday?" Tori asks from somewhere to my right.

"Yeah, of course. I went to a party and passed out at Ryder's." I replied, because that's always what happens.

"No. Ryder brought you here."

I remember stumbling from his car, "Yeah, I went to a party and passed out in my bed."

"No. You took a shower first, remember? And when you came back I was in your room, you said you were all happy, remember that?" she asks, sounding agitated.

"Sort of." I don't remember it, I have a vague image of Tori sitting on my bed last night, but that's it.

"Do you remember kissing me?" she asked.

"I would have remembered that, don't you think?" she's starting to become clearer, "I swear if I forgot and I did…." I trail off when she starts laughing and now she's not all fuzzy anymore. She's in focus, like the camera finally found the focal point. Her head is bowed on her clasped hands on the edge of the tub and her shoulders are shaking.

"Tori, why am I in my bathtub?"

"You wouldn't wake up." She shrugs, "your brother just left to go to the doctors with your mom. She wanted you to take him, but I told her-and him- you were sick. So ya know, play it up." She stands to her full height now, pushing her fingers through her hair, "I'll only be here for another month, so I hope you don't make this a habit. You're brother doesn't need that, and it's not good for you. But I won't lecture you."

"Tori…" her hand halts hovering above the door handle she's already flicked on the lights and now my eyes hurt, "did he see me?"

"No, but I don't want to keep doing this." She's not saying she wont; just that she didn't want to. She's such a good person; I still don't understand why she cares so much. Maybe because she's living with me, yeah that's got to be it.

I get to my feet, shaking, gripping the soap dish to get to my feet without falling back on my face. Once I do I peel my clothes off, tossing them onto the floor where they landed with a sickening splat. In the mirror I caught my reflection. My hair was hanging in damp strings around my face down past my breasts, sticking to my chalky skin. My eyes were blood shot and there were black bags under my eyes.

I jerked the curtain closed in vain, it was clear except for the blood splatter and now my reflection was of a girl with a hole over her heart and dead green eyes. I wish that it was dark, that she hadn't turned on the light. But she has, and I've seen how I look and I hate myself for it. Not even because Vega made me feel gross, I just hate myself for letting this happen again. For being weak, useless.

I stand under a burning cold stream of water. It whacks against my skin like a thousand needles all at once. My teeth instantly grit at the sensation, but I don't move to warm the water. It soaks my hair until its dripping, my skin goes completely numb. Eventually I feel like I'm going to fall and I pull myself out of the tub, wrap a towel around my chest and pick up my soaking wet clothes, draping them over the tub before I open the door.

Tori's passing by my door, she's in a pair of dark jeans and a pink top. Her hands are hovering in front of her face, one holding a mirror the other swiping lip gloss over her lips. She smacks her lips together as she goes, "hope you had a nice shower, Jade." She comments, "I'll be back later." And then she's disappearing around the corner out of my line of sight.

I walk into my room, slamming the door closed behind me with a loud slam that shook the whole house, or so it seemed. Glasses of strange objects I'd collected over the years shook on their shelves. I wanted to scream and rip my hair out and vomit all at the same time as I jerked my closet door open off of it hinges. I ripped the closet apart and jerked out clothes at random, yanking them on followed by my leather jacket before I stormed out of the house.

I wasn't really sure where I was going, but my angry footsteps carried me down the sidewalk, past the abandoned lot, past the bench and toward the school-a 15 minute drive and at least an hour long march away. It was a Saturday so naturally nobody was there, but that didn't really matter. It wasn't where I was headed, just the first thing I'd thought of in that direction.

I stomped past it once I finally saw those ugly gates that encircled it and into the coffee shop. The place was pretty empty, but there were people sitting here and there throughout the place. I marched up to the counter where that pimply faced guy that was scared of me stood.

"Black coffee." I ordered, "and a cup of ice. And a doughnut, plain." I fished my wallet from my pocket and slapped money down on the counter. He told me my change about but I was busy watching the girl pour my coffee. I was handed my items rather quickly and then I retreated to the back of the coffee shop, in the last couple booth, facing into the whole shop.

I propped my boots up on the booth seat across from me, dumped two sugar packets into the cup and stirred it idly while chewing on the bland, dry doughnut. It stuck to my tongue, the roof of my mouth and the back of my throat while I tried to eat it. I'd gulp down the bitter coffee to get it off and then just do it again.

"Hey sour puss." I blinked, having spaced out staring at some girls head. When I looked toward the voice I found Jen standing by my table, "I know we're not friends, I mean, not even close, but you look like you could use some company."

"I'd rather not." I tell her, but I shift and pull my feet off of the other side so she can sit down. She slides in across from me and pulls open her bag to reveal a doughnut-plain. Her coffee seems to be black and I watch her dump two sugars into the cup.

"I was on my way out when I spotted you. Are you okay?" she inquires, sipping her coffee without a wince. She takes an almost vicious bite out of her doughnut while I stare at her face. Her hair was curly today, a bit damp probably not unlike my own. Her tan was a little lighter then Vega's, and it was definitely natural. She had a nice smile, sweet features and hazel eyes that seemed to be like honey in this lighting. Her brown hair was darker then I remembered, she must've spent a little less time in the sun.

"Yeah, just had a bad morning." I reply, unsure why I was answering her question.

"Did you do the math homework?" she redirects.

"I thought I recognized you." I chuckled, "and no, I didn't."

"Well, we can start." She pulls a bag up into her lap and grabs a book, two pencils and two sheets of paper. She passes one over to me and snaps a pencil down onto it, pushing her coffee a bit aside as she flips the pages in the book to the ones our homework was on.

We each get two more cups of coffee while we work, we don't really say much to each other except to ask about the math homework, but it's a good distraction and I'm very thankful, until Vega waltzes in with some guy. I narrow my eyes at him, I can't tell who it is, he's got his head ducked and Jen's head is in my way.

"She's gone out with him like twice." Jen comments. I hadn't realized I'd been staring until she said that, "his name's Dave or something stupid like that." I smirk at her then and turn back to the book, scribbling down the next problem, watching them sit down in the booth right next to ours. I'm now staring at the back of the Dave guys head.

When Tori sees who's behind her I quick an eyebrow at her and wink. She scowls at me and I smile before leaning down over my paper again. Jen's grinning down at her paper trying not to laugh and I decide she's not so bad, and that we could probably be friends if I wasn't such a gank and she wasn't dating Beck. Well not even that was really stopping me.

"So, how'd you two meet?" I ask her, sitting back in the booth. My eyes are aimed over her head, watching Tori who was listening to that Dave guy drone on and on about himself.

"We got detention together." She shrugs, "how'd you two meet?" she tilts her back to indicate Tori.

"I dumped coffee on her head for rubbing Beck's chest." I chuckled, "she'd spilt coffee on him, or so she says, and I didn't like it."

"Remind me not to get on your bad side." She laughs, "Does this guy ever stop talking?" she says this part louder and Tori's eyes bulge out of her head as she glares at us. I grin back at her.

"I doubt it, and he's so boring." I roll my eyes, "I want another coffee, you want one?"

"Please." Jen agrees, I slide out of my seat and go join the long line at the counter, order two coffees and watch as the guy still keeps blabbing on about goodness only knows what. He was talking about lighting when I left and when I returned he was talking about painting something.

"Good god, can I borrow your pencils to stab in my ears?" I ask, setting the coffees down. Jen smirks and hands over the pencils in her possession. I fake jab them into my ears and drop my head onto the table top. Jen bubbles with laughter and I even hear Tori giggle.

"Alright, so now that we've got coffee, are you coming to the theater tonight? That movie Beck was in is premiering tonight, he invited you, you know." Jen says, sipping her coffee.

"That's tonight? Damn. I promised Andre I'd go." I grumble annoyed, I didn't really want to go anywhere tonight, especially not anywhere that involves me looking nice. But I owed Andre, he needed a date to make his ex jealous, and he'd lent me some money.

"Well, maybe I can force you to go shopping with me? I've got to find a dress and I feel like you know how to find a great dress quick." I grin, nodding. I was great at that. I could go in a come back out in ten seconds flat if I put my mind to it.

"Vega, you wanna come with us or are you spending the rest of your _fantastic _date with Roger Boring?" I ask, standing up abruptly, swiping my drink from the counter, Tori bites her lip, trying not to laugh right in his face as she nods slipping out of her seat as well with an apologetic look at him.

I walk over and swing my arm around her back, my hand resting on her hip, and tow her from the small coffee shop with Jen falling in step beside us. "I've got my car parked over there." She points at a red truck with no back seat. I let Tori get in before me and she's squashed between Jen and me as we speed off toward the mall. "Oh look at that boutique!" Jen said, pointing at a black and pink building on our left. She switches into the turn lane just as the light turns green and pulls into the parking lot.

We hop out and I look up at the building. Lovette's Dresses the name was scrawled in pretty cursive font across the front of the building. I followed the other two up to the doors, "Cat said she's five minutes out." Tori told us. Half way here Jen had asked Tori to invite the bubbly red head on this trip with us, I wasn't looking forward to it at all already, but maybe Cat's bubbly attitude would distract from my impending explosion of anger.

"Hi, welcome to Lovette's, can I help you with anything?" a perky blonde asks bouncing over to us with a wide grin. I instantly scowled and Jen gave her a skeptical eyebrow raise while Tori's face instantly snapped into an equally perky smile. I roll my eyes.

"No thanks, we're just going to browse for a bit, thank you though." Tori told her pleasantly before turning to a circular rack of shelves. The blonde's eye swept over Jen and I before she shrugged and bounced away.

I sifted through the racks of dresses for a few minutes before deciding the dark rack of dresses held nothing that interested me. I moved onto the next and flipped through a few dresses. The blonde's shift clearly ended 10 minutes after we arrived; she was traded out by a tall guy with a thin body and a purple wig on his head. He looked rather pretty and flashed a smile when he caught me looking at him.

"I hope none of you liked the music. I'm changing it." He told us, maybe she I wasn't sure, and then disappeared behind a curtain. Now, upbeat Broadway music blasted over the speakers. I grinned and hummed along under my breath to 'Living In America' while I blankly shoved the dresses aside on their hangers with the sound of metal scratching on metal filled my ears.

"What is this?" Tori asked appearing beside me.

"Rent." The guy and I responded together, he smiled at me now.

"Oh, okay." She replied, "Do you have a dressing room?"

"Back through that curtain." He points vaguely in the direction of the back of the store. Tori thanks him and heads back there quickly, but slow enough that I catch a flash of bright green in her arms, "that dress is not going to look good on her." he commented.

"Yeah well, better she finds out herself than someone tells her." the song ends and changes to something muffled, I recognize the sound of the song but I can't figure out why, "Do you have anything not so…frilly?" I ask.

He walks around the corner and makes a motion to follow him to the other side of the store where there's a rack of dark colored, snug looking dresses.

"Like your dead girl friend." The guy sings under his breath.

"Only when you smile but I'm sure I've seen you somewhere else." I sing back with a smile as I go through the dresses on this rack. It's about this time that Cat makes her appearance.

"Jade!" she grins, "Oh I love this song!" and she's standing beside me, hugging me before she skips off to hug Jen. I chuckle when I heard Jen grunt at the sudden impact of Cat's hug. I feel someone standing beside me again; when I turn my head to the right Tori's standing there admiring a black and pink dress.

I look away as she goes past it and I stumble upon a white and black dress that looks really nice. I take it and head toward the change rooms, slipping behind a purple curtained stall. I slip out of the clothes I'd pulled on with haste today, and then I slide into the dress.

It's mostly white, and the black and white pattern is of the rising suns rays. The 'sun' was on my left hip and the rays extended over to the right hip. It hugged my hips and my bust, fell down to just above my knee and wasn't obscenely low cut up top. I really liked it. I quickly slipped it off and put it back on the hanger, redressing.

I even knew I had some heels at home that would go perfect with it, and with a happy grin from feeling accomplished I walked back into the man area of the shop where Jen was paying for a dress and Tori came out from behind me a dress draped over her arm. Cat was clutching a dress to her chest with a happy smile.

"What's the time? Well it's gotta be close to Midnight!" Cat sang as she tossed her dress up onto the counter. Everyone smirked as Cat kept singing, passing her credit card over the counter.

"So what are you all dressing up for tonight?" the guy asked, his name tag read Jamie.

"Lets go oouuuttt, tonight!" Cat sang loudly in response as she took her bag from the counter. I'd forced her to see the movie at least 3 times in the past because Beck was no fun to watch it with.

"My boyfriends movie is premiering tonight, so we're all going." Jen informed him, now passing over her card. He seemed interested so she told him a bit more about it and then told him where it was in case he wanted to see it, handing him an extra pass. Now I passed over my card and hummed along softly to the end of the song. I took my bag and then wandered away so Tori could pay for her dress.

I was starting to get antsy, my hands were shaking slightly and my head hurt again and now all I really wanted was to get wasted or pass out. I pushed the door open and held it open for the other three, also letting them crawl into the car before me. I was squashed between the door and Cat, my hands still shaking slightly.

"I'll drop you and Tori off first, so you and Cat should switch places, Tori." Jen said when we rolled to a stop at a light near my house. Cat and Tori quickly switched places, Tori now pretty much sitting on my lap.

"How are you two getting there?" Jen inquired.

"Andre's picking me up." I answered quickly.

"And I guess I'm going to go with Trina." Tori replied, "or I'm supposed to, anyways. If not I'll probably get a ride from Robbie since he lives near Jade's place."

"Why are you going to be a Jade's place?" Cat asked, scrunching up her face. Nobody except me and Andre knew Tori was living with me. Tori's eyes went wide with shock and she didn't seem to know what to say.

"Her parents are out of town and don't want her living alone since Trina moved out and I have extra room." I replied, "Plus I owed Tori a favor or two." Cat makes an 'oh' face and then talks about something her mom said to her the other day. I don't listen. Instead I watch my hands shake and my stomach twists slightly as I feel a wave of nausea roll over me, this would be a long night.


	13. Chapter 13

**Fake It**

**Jade's a great actress, one of the best Hollywood Arts has ever seen. She acts okay, and everyone believes her, everyone that is, except for Tori. After her second break up Jade runs back to her old habits and her bad friends with bad reputations and worse habits. Jade's spiraling down a dark path with only her new found friendship with Tori to keep her a float, will Jade fall down, or will new love pull her free?**

**Rated M**

**I do not own the characters mentioned, the places mentioned, or anything else. If I did jori would be canon and it wouldn't be on Nick anymore.**

**Early update, because I doubt I'll post for awhile because my exams are starting. Yay. I hope this is good, I'm not really sure I've liked these past two chapters. Closer to jori, I swear! Actually hopefully in the next chapter! Enjoy, thank you for reviewing and reading! **

"Jade! Jade! Ryder's outside!" Tori yelled, slamming a fist on my door over and over so I'd hear her over my music, "why is he here? Jade!" she growls in frustration when I don't answer her and stomps away, or at least that's what it sounds like.

I slip my black robe on over my shoulders and tie the strings together before making my way down stairs slowly, trying to hide the way my hands are shaking and how my feet don't listen to my brain, "I don't care what you say, this is not your house, Vega!" Ryder was yelling. Tori was standing, hand on the door, trying to push it closed, a vain effort on her part.

"I just need you to wait outside!" Tori argued, Ryder pushed back against the door but he was too strong for Tori who cried out and stumbled back, falling down on her ass, her robe falling open when Ryder shoved the door open with all his force. Ryder's eyes instantly went to her and he licked his lips. Anger swelled in my stomach when my eyes landed on his face.

His brown eyes were wide, dilated so they were almost black and he looked absolutely insane. I was down the steps in an instant, standing between Ryder and Tori, pushing hard on his chest, "why are you here, Ryder?" I growled, "I told you I was busy."

"You need to come try this, it's amazing. You have to." He wrapped his hand around my shoulder and squeezed hard. I cried softly, biting my lip, forcing my body still to keep from shaking.

"Get. Out." I demanded, pushing on his chest. He hardly moved so I pushed harder, "I can't do this right now, I've got plans. I'm sorry." I push on his chest again and he stumbles back a couple steps, not enough that I could shut the door.

"Jade, come on…" he pulls me closer, breathing on my face. His breath is rancid and my heart slammed against my chest in fear, "come on. You know you want to." His nails dig harder into my shoulder and tears prick at my eyes while my hand on his chest shakes. And I want to; I know I do, too. But I refuse to let down Andre and Tori, who he's frightened into utter stillness. Andre who asked me for a single favor and Tori who for some reason I refuse to disappoint anymore after this morning.

He jerks me closer, I'm faintly aware of the whimper that escapes me and then he's gone, the door is slamming closed and my father is standing before me. Daniel West, glaring at that closed door one second, spinning to Tori and I concerned the next. I ignore the look when I realize Tori hasn't moved from the floor where she fell.

"V-Tori, are you okay?" I turn to her and crouch down, "I'm sorry, are you alright?" I whispered.

"I'm fine…" she whispers back. I help her to her feet carefully, trying to stop her shaking only to realize I'm the one shaking, not her. She pulls away from me and fixes her robe, giving me a nervous look as if to ask 'are you alright' and when I give one sharp nod; she's going up the stairs.

"I don't like what that boy has done to you." My dad says in a soft voice. It's something I've never heard and it scares me to no end, or maybe it unnerves me. I can't tell which anymore.

"I did it to myself." I whisper back, pushing my fingers, shaking still, through my hair before I go upstairs. I slip my robe off, pull on a mesh shirt over my bra and put the dress on over it. Thankfully since it's not too tight you can't see the mesh through the dress. I knew my shoulder would have ugly red half moons all over them and probably a hand print. I didn't want to answer any questions.

I head into the room next to mine and sift through my shoes until I found my white and black leather pumps. I slip the shoes onto my feet and find a purse to bring with me, I find a black tiny clutch hanging from the closet door, and then I fill it with my phone, wallet, keys, aspirin, and iPod.

Now that I'm finally finished getting ready I check my phone and find a text from Andre that says he'll be here in five minutes so I head down stairs to wait, sitting down on the bottom step up the staircase so I'll see his headlights. I glance up the stairs toward my brother's door. It's standing ajar where he left it when he rushed off to a friend's house tonight.

Down the hallway I can hear a movie playing in my mother's room and my father talking, presumably on the phone, about something in his office. All I can hear is the deep rumble of his voice, but not the words. While I sit there I push the mesh sleeve up on my right arm and run my fingers over the tattoo on my wrist.

I had told everyone I'd gotten this to piss my mom off, which in part it was, but the other part was being free, safe, and clean. I was me again, perfect, normal, not dependant on anything but Beck. But I went and ruined that, didn't I? We fizzled out, and I'm sure one of us could've saved it, if we cared, but we didn't. We were tired of trying. Tired of fake smiles, fake happy, fake everything.

I ran my thumb from the top left point to the bottom right, there was a jagged scar there from a piece of shattered glass from a mirror that I'd punched in anger one night, after trying to tell my mom what happened and I fell into it and cut open my arm. It hurt like hell and made me burst into tears instantly.

"You okay?" Tori's voice breaks through my aimless stupor. I glance up at her; she's on the top of the stairs looking down at me with concerned eyes. She looks amazing, her long brown hair is in waves down her shoulder, and her face is almost void of makeup. She takes a few steps down and now I can see her dress.

It looks like a strapless pink dress wrapped with a black cloth, but it looked amazing. A black thick, strip made up the shoulder on her dress. "I borrowed some heels." She told me when my eyes spotted the black peep toe stilettos on her feet. I shrug, my finger still running over the scar, "you gunna be okay?"

"Yep." I pop the 'p' on the word and look down at the tattoo, swiping at the tears on my cheeks, "have you ever seen a movie with someone detoxing?" I ask randomly. Her face screws up and at first I think she's going to ask me why I'm asking but then she flops down two stairs up from me.

"I saw Gia. She detoxed in that."

"I doubt I'll be that bad." I tell her, she reaches down the steps and takes my hand in her slowly, lacing her fingers through mine, "I'm sorry for anything I've done in the past month. I was being an idiot. Being weak, being stupid. I'm sorry."

"You were breaking down; everyone has a way to cope."

"I wasn't coping. I was forgetting. Ignoring." She shrugs and leans her head on the banister, "how do you cope?"

"I write songs, really shitty songs." She laughs, still holding my hand which I realize is shaking once again, "If you need me, I'll be here." I nod slowly, already feeling the pull in my stomach, the pull to go quench that need, the craving, the undying gnawing to get my hands on something and it'd only been a few hours since my last take.

"I'll need you." I tell her, she squeezes my hand tight, holding it firm until my arm stops shaking. It moved to my other arm, but I didn't care because that right there meant something. It meant she was willing to save me, but would her saving me only cause me to fall down once she was gone?

The thought passed through my mind so quick I couldn't add more thoughts to it before it was gone and I was just watching this amazingly kind girl, a girl I bullied relentlessly, promising to be there for me. She was truly a beautiful person, outside as well as in. She had a heart of gold; nobody would ever see the cracks in her, the small flaws, because they were out shone by that fucking sunshine golden heart.

"Andre's here." She whispers, "and Trina. Let's go." She stands, still holding my hand and pulls me along with her out the door, pausing to lock it before we continued down to the cars. She only dropped my hand when I got into Andre's car.

"How cute." He teased while I opened the mirror to fix my makeup.

"Shut the fuck up." I grunted. He shook his head with laughter, having developed this lovely theory that Tori and I had something together, which was utter shit. I didn't think of her that way and I doubt she'd ever want to be with someone as horrible as me. Andre was determined to prove she liked me, but she wanted nothing more than to solve a puzzle.

It's funny how quick I can go from calling Vega beautiful to accusing her of only wanting to solve my problems. My brain seemed to be skipping around, fluid thoughts lost to me. I was loosing my mind, I was thinking like Cat. I was going crazy. We pull up outside the theater; a valet opens the door and Andre's there helping me out like a gentleman.

There are actually a few cameras here; celebrities are rumored to be showing up. I wouldn't be surprised if they did, but the cameras clicked anyways as Andre and I made our way up to the doors, not as rapidly as if a celebrity arrived, but they still clicked. A man in a black button down held the door open for us as we passed through the doors.

"You okay?" Andre whispered when I shivered, it was pretty cold in here.

"Just cold." I replied, shrugging his arm off of me, "I've got to pee." I told him when he gave me a look-I was supposed to be acting interested in him. I slipped into the bathroom with a quick smile and locked myself in the handicapped stall as a wave of nausea rolled from my stomach up my throat and into the pristine porcelain toilet.

The vomit burned the back of my throat and had my eyes tearing up. My stomach jolted when I looked into the toilet so I flung myself away with haste, smacking the black stall door hard. Soon it passed and I looked away as I flushed before exiting quickly, pulling a mint from my purse and popping it in my mouth.

I found Andre by a snack bar filled with candy, naturally Cat was standing there, popping candy into her mouth while she talked to Andre, "Hey Cat." I greeted, tucking myself into Andre's side, resting my head against his shoulder.

"Hey Jade, you look pretty! Do you like my dress?" she did a little spin, the extra fabric around her waist flipping up into the air as she did a tiny little spin. It was a pale purple with sparkles on the top and otherwise it was slim fitting.

"It's pretty, Cat." I replied, reaching to the table I plucked a green gummy bear from a bowl and popping it in my mouth, "I'm surprised it's not that bright, but the pale color looks really great on you."

"Thanks Jade, you can be so nice sometimes. Sweet like candy!" she grinned, popping a piece of pure sugar into her mouth again. If I ate that much candy all the time I'd vomit, but she just chewed it –I hope- and swallowed it.

"Sure, me, sweet like candy."

"Maybe she's a sour patch kid." Tori's voice mused as she materialized at the table, plucking the aforementioned candy from a bowl; she popped it in her mouth and grinned at me, "hey."

"Hey Vega, where's your sister?"

"Off being a pain in the butt somewhere, as long as she's nowhere near me, I don't care." Tori explained with a shrug, "Anyone see the big movie star yet?"

"I did, off in a corner making out with Jen." Cat said in a chirpy voice, eyes flicking to me, wondering if it bothered me, but I leaned further against Andre and looked around the dark theater. It didn't bother me if Beck was kissing his girlfriend. And I mean, Jen wasn't half bad.

"Beck!" I called loudly when I spotted him and Jen chatting near the front row. His head popped up and his eyes found mine in a matter of seconds. He rolled his eyes at something, grabbed Jen's hand and made his way over to us.

"I'm glad you all showed up." He told us, falling into place in our small circle, "Tanya is here." He looked at Andre.

"Well that's nice." He replied, tightening the grip he had around my waist.

"So how does it feel to be the most famous person in our circle?" Tori asked, everyone glanced from me and back to her before looking at Beck. I wasn't sure why they did that, maybe they were looking at Andre?

"Well, I mean, I don't know, I feel the same as before." He answers. Tori shifts on her feet a bit and I notice she's still chewing on the sour patch kid from earlier, she's staring down at her hands as silence falls down on our small group. Beck shifts on his feet and pushes his fingers through his hair, slinging his other arm across Jen's shoulder. Cat's staring at the candy in her fingers intently and Andre is peering around the room.

"Where's Robbie?" He asks after doing a full scan of the room.

"He's with Rex and some Northridge girl." Cat bubbled, "I don't know why that girl is with him…" she pulls a confused face and shrugs as the lights dim and blink slowly, "Oh, movie time!" she skips off toward a seat and we all slowly go in separate directions.

I sit down near the back with Andre, the seat next to him is occupied by that actress from that pirate movie, and the one next to me is empty for the first ten minutes of the movie, and then out of no where it's filled by a woman with purple hair and dark tan skin.

"Jamie?" I whispered, leaning toward him. He turned and then grinned at me, "nice to see you."

"You too, now hush." Jamie responded, crossing his legs and leaning forward, watching with intent interest. I watch almost as interested, only getting distracted when Andre leans over and fake kisses me or whispers something in my ear. The movie is really good, about a spy that falls in love with another spy, but when they realize it they have to kill each other and one of the spy's falls in love with their partner and kill the other anyways.

Beck plays the dead spy, his co-star Heather Fox, is the spy that falls for her new partner, played by Marissa James. Seeing Beck get a bullet through his head made everyone gasp, they all thought that James would kill Fox, not Beck. I was laughing in the back as his body tumbled off the roof-simply because I'm mean- while others yelled 'no!'. I was enjoying the fact that it was a twist, and a lesbian movie at that.

"You look like Heather Fox." Jamie observes after the movie, "I wonder if she's here." We were standing back by the candy table waiting for Beck to finish shaking hands and taking pictures with fans and other movie people.

"She probably is." I shrug, popping a gummy bear into my mouth.

"She is." Tori adds in, "standing down by Beck." I look to where she points and all of us see that she's in nearly the same dress I am, except hers is purple where mines black and her long hair is pulled back into a ponytail tight on her head. And she's smiling. I laugh really hard when I notice and more then a few people turn to look at me and get really confused, looking back and fourth between Heather and I.

Beck and Heather notice, too, and he whispers something to her and points toward us. The woman in question smiles and hooks her arm with his. They say a hasty goodbye to the people they're with and then head toward us, stopping a few times for pictures.

"Heather, I'd like you to meet my friends. You know Jen and they are Tori, Cat, Robbie, Andre and Jade." He points at each of us in turn. Heather greets everyone and then turns to me and smiles.

"We really do look like twins. I honestly didn't believe him when he said I looked like his ex." She tells me, "It's really nice to meet you."

"I'm sure it must seem nice." I reply, "It's nice to meet you, though." I tell her. She doesn't give me that confused look most people do when I say that, she just smiles, stays and chats for a bit and then excuses herself to go talk to someone else.

"Hey Andre?" Tanya wanders over to our group shortly after Heather wanders off and everyone turns, "Can I talk to you?"

"Can you excuse me for a bit babe?" he asks me. I glance at Tanya, looking her up and down like I give a shit and I shake my head slowly to say go. He presses a soft kiss to my cheek, "thanks." he whispers softly and then walks off with Tanya.

"That's nice Jade." Beck tells me.

"Sour patch kid." Tori observes, snatching another one of those candy's from the bowl. It's green and she rips its head off with her teeth in a surprisingly violent manner. She smiles at me and I roll my eyes with a smile pulling on my lips.

"First she's sour then she's sweet." Jen teases. I glare at her and she just laughs, "You guys wanna go out now? There's this great bar a few blocks away that we can get into." Everyone nods in agreement so we walk down two blocks, agreeing to leave our cars behind and get cabs home.

At some point in the night I lost track of everyone and found myself up at the bar drinking a glass of water, silently having decided to not drink so one of us would keep track of the time and get everyone home safely, or at least into cabs safely.

That's when Tori wanders over, cup in her hand empty. I'm not sure what she was drinking, but it wasn't water. Her hips sway and her hair is a bit mused, sweat covers her arms and she's breathing heavily.

"Been having sex, Vega?" I tease when she slides onto a stool next to me.

"No, dancing. Sadly, the person I want to have sex with is currently unavailable." She tells me, "can I get another rum?" she asks the bar tender. He nods and gets her another drink, setting it in front of her in a few minutes.

"Who do you want? Andre or Beck? Some guy I don't know. Roger Boring?" I ask, taking a sip of my water. She glances over at me silently, biting her lip and then turning back to the dance floor.

"None of the above, West." She tells me, taking a gulp from her drink, "can we going home soon?"

"Oh, maybe its Cat then, or Jen." I muse aloud, "and no we can't, we've got to make sure these idiots get home safely first."

"It's not Cat or Jen either. And by unavailable I didn't mean in a relationship." She explains, "Now quit guessing."

"Hmm…" I slide my stool closer to her, leaning closer to her, resting on hand on her thigh, "maybe…it's me." I lean closer. She blushes, biting her lip and looking down I grin. "I'm completely, available." I breathe. She pushes on my shoulder gently, but hard enough that I fell back away from her.

"I don't do junkies, West." She tells me, "clean up your act and maybe you have a chance."

"What makes you think I want a chance? Or you?" I shoot back.

If the comment bothered her she doesn't show it, instead she lifts her glass to her lips and tips it back. I watch her throat bob as she swallows and then she sets the glass down, "come on, West. Time to dance." She snatches my hand before I can protest and yanks me away from the bar.

I don't recognize the song by its got a catchy upbeat rhythm, some song Tori knows-if her belting out the lyrics while forcing me to dance with her is any indication. She kept hold of my hand, pulling me around, and pretty much forcing me to dance with her.

But it did a damn fine job of distracting me, any sickness I could have possible felt was washed away by me keeping myself from tripping over Vega's clumsy movements, the girl clearly had one two many glasses of rum.

By the time I ended up shoving her into the taxi, after shoving everyone else into taxis, I was ready to crawl into bed and pass out. But Tori became a rambling chatter box as soon as I had the taxi's door shut behind me.

I rattled off my address to the plump woman behind the wheel and then turned to Tori who was still blabbing on and on, "Shut. Up." I finally growled, reaching over and slapping my hand across her mouth, "just put a fucking lid on it for five minutes. You are going to make my ears bleed."

Tori made a sad sounding noise, like I'd just kicked her puppy or something, and shut her mouth. I felt instantly bad, but my head was pounding and I was just over loud noise. I wanted peace and quiet.

Of course as soon as we stepped into my house I found that wasn't going to happen as two young kids-neither of them my brother- darted past us into the kitchen. Tori laughed as a string of curses left my mouth, none of them heard by the kids now deep in the kitchen. I slammed the front door shut and marched after the boys.

"What the heck is going on?" I demanded when I found my mom in the kitchen, three little boys perched on the stools near the counter. None of them were James.

"Austin's mother wasn't feeling very well so I offered to take the boys off her hands. James!" she yelled, as if the call would carry upstairs to where my brother was probably in his room or in the bathroom. Yet in a few minutes he trotted into the kitchen anyways, "you go on up to bed, Jade. You too, Tori."

"Yeah, whatever." I grumbled, spinning on my heel and marching off. Tori was right behind me, smothering her laughter with her hand as she made her way to the guest room she was now calling hers, "shut up."

"Never. Goodnight, Jade." She waved the tips of her fingers and then disappeared into her room. I pushed my door aside and stepped in, pushing it closed and locking it behind me. My shoulders were hurting now, my feet cramping in the shoes and my throbbing head was getting worse by the second.

I rushed to get undressed and into a baggy shirt and a pair of shorts before I crawled into my bed, burying myself in the darkness with a loud sigh. Thankfully my room was silent, the noise of the boys on the other end of the house a distant memory, sleep crawled into my brain and latched his claws into, dragging me into blissful unconsciousness.

It couldn't have been more than an hour later I awoke to a loud scream that had me flying out of my bed and down the hall, stumbling to a stop outside Tori's door. I threw it open and found Tori sitting against the wall shaking, brown eyes wide with fear.

"Tori, what the hell?" I asked, looking around the room. There was nothing in here new, only her and yet she looked like someone had just tried to stab her. She was shaking like a leaf, her lips trembling and her eyes looking glossy as if she was about to cry, "did you have…are you having nightmares?"

She nods slowly, "every night, but this one was bad." I walk over to the bed and hold my hand out to her; she takes it looking at me confused for a minute.

"Maybe not being surrounded by familiar things will help you sleep better." I suggest, she shrugs, letting me pull her off of her bed and we walk back down to my room where I once again lock the door. She's already crawled into my bed, pushed herself up against the wall and curled up. I sigh, shaking my head at her and crawl back into bed myself, wondering how her scream only woke me up.

But that wonder didn't last too long as I was once more pulled into a dreamless sleep, the last thing I felt was Tori pressing her back up against mine as she let out a soft sigh as if expelling all of her demons through that on breath.


	14. Chapter 14

**Fake It**

**Jade's a great actress, one of the best Hollywood Arts has ever seen. She acts okay, and everyone believes her, everyone that is, except for Tori. After her second break up Jade runs back to her old habits and her bad friends with bad reputations and worse habits. Jade's spiraling down a dark path with only her new found friendship with Tori to keep her a float, will Jade fall down, or will new love pull her free?**

**Rated M**

**I do not own the characters mentioned, the places mentioned, or anything else. If I did jori would be canon and it wouldn't be on Nick anymore.**

**Lots a free time with all my doctor's visits lately, so enjoy this new chapter. **

The morning hit me with a surprise of screaming boys and a pressure on my stomach anchoring me to my bed when I tried to sit up. It was a slim, long, tan arm. It was Tori's arm. She was pressed into my side, arm draped over my stomach while her head rested on the pillow beside mine. Her legs, I could now feel, were pinning mine in place and she was snoring softly. But she was asleep and actually looked rather cute, her nose scrunched up like she tasted something weird.

She must've been dreaming.

I shifted to get more comfortable and closed my eyes again, hoping to fall back asleep, but when that didn't work I carefully reached over to my nightstand to grab my phone, realizing Tori and I had somehow switched places during the night. I unlock it and find a new text from Andre, from an hour ago. It was now nine o'clock and I never slept in this late. And apparently Tori wasn't supposed to either.

_Where's Tori? She was supposed to meet at my place to work on a song. _

I texted back that I wasn't her keeper, only for him to reply that he knew I knew where Tori was almost all of the time.

_Shut up. She's finally getting some sleep, bad night. I'm sleeping now, bye. _And then I flung my phone away from me, I might not be going to sleep but I wasn't about let Andre convince me to wake her up. Somewhere on my floor the phone buzzed, but it was becoming a distant sound as Tori's grip tightened on me and I was pressed against her, her head now on my shoulder.

Carefully I pulled my arm from between us and wrapped it around her back, she moved closer, now fully tucked into my side and let out a soft sigh. She was still asleep though, but now she was smiling. It was a small smile, the truest smile I've ever seen on her face, I realize now. She was always faking this happy smile or flashing a cocky one. But this was a real, truly happy smile.

I listened to her soft breathing. In, out, in, out, in, out….my eyes fell closed like they were made of lead.

"Jade…" someone called from far away, "Jade." Closer now invading the warm cocoon I was wrapped in, "Jade! Tori!" my eyes snapped open now and I sat up, the warmth fell away from me and someone made a whining noise in protest.

When my eyes focused I found Andre was standing at the foot of my bed, arms crossed over his chest shaking his head, "you are a hard person to wake up, Tori." I turned my head to look down at the bed beside me. Tori was rubbing her eyes with the palm of her hands and yawning.

"Sorry, was I late?"

"No, an hour ago you were late." Andre replied sarcastically, "if I had known you and Jade were enjoying some cuddle time I wouldn't have bothered you."

Tori's cheeks flushed red and she looked over at me sheepishly, I grinned at her, "I knew it was me." and then I scooted out of my bed, snatching my phone from the floor before heading toward the bathroom to shower and clean the makeup from my face.

When I made it back to my room Tori and Andre were both gone, I couldn't decide if I was grateful for that or not as I slumped into my computer chair and started my Pearbook. It took awhile for it to start up and when it finally did I had no clue why I'd even turned it on.

On a whim I opened up the browser and typed in tattoo designs, but I found nothing really interesting and instead pulled on a pair of skinny jeans and a tank top, grabbed my purse from last night and then a leather jacket as I left my bedroom, heading down to the garage, not bothering to think about the fact that I was simply doing, instead of having a plan.

I crawled into my car, my eyes drooping slightly as I yawned big enough to pop my ears. I drove carefully, at a slow pace, to the coffee shop where I got a black coffee and added two sugars before driving down to the park to drink it where I didn't have to worry about anybody seeing me, trying to talk to me or anything else.

I stare at the swings across from the bench I'd tucked myself into. They're sun burnt and more puke yellow then the banana yellow they were when they were put in ten years ago. I remembered sitting at this very bench watching them sink the poles in and attaching the swings.

I was the first kid to use all of the swings. I used each of them twice before anyone else showed up. I soared up as high as I could and jumped off each one, wondering if perhaps I might break yet another bone. I never did, in all those times I sent myself sailing through the air and thudding to the ground.

It was a shame.

I placed my coffee up to my lips and tipped it back, my eyes traveling down to the table. J&B 2008. I frowned at it suddenly annoyed and grabbed my keychain, scratching a small dash and 2011 next to the 2008.

Beck and I used to spend summers here, drinking coffee and eating lunch. Talking about our future, getting married, having kids, staring in movies together, him staring in movies I write and direct. But I mean, now my future was a blur of questions. I was failing a lot of my classes, not doing projects for others-with the exception of the project Tori and I had to do for Sikowitz's class that we got an A on - Andre's script won and Sikowitz was considering actually going through with his plans of producing it at a project.

I'd be lucky if I ever got into a college or managed to get anyone to glance at me a second time for a part in a movie, or a script of mine. Hell, I'd be lucky if I could get a job at Walmart.

I idly scratched at the table with my fingernail, carving in today's date, December 1st. I didn't know why, but I did it. I should probably scratch it out, or maybe today could be me getting my life back on track. That sounds like a good idea, turning my life around. I scratch a smile next to it.

I knew I'd needed to turn my life around, I could literally watch my dreams slipping farther and farther away. I wanted this, to be clean, healthy, _happy_. That's better than drugs, right? Maybe I suppose it could be, if I found the right type of happy.

My phone buzzes in my pocket so I fish it out and glance at the screen, Tori's name flashes on my screen accompanied by a picture of her smiling face; I hit answer and press the phone to my ear with a grunt, ignoring the smile pulling onto my mouth.

"That's a lovely greeting, Jade." She jokes for the first time in awhile she doesn't sound completely exhausted. She sounds happy, "Andre had to go rush off to his Grandma's so he ditched me at the coffee shop. Are you busy?"

"Not at this moment, but the coffee shop is on my way. I'll come get you." She thanked me and then I head over to the coffee shop once more. She's sitting outside with two cups of coffee, she hands me one when she gets in.

"Where are we going?" she inquires, clicking her seatbelt on.

"Tattoo place." I reply without hesitation, staring dead ahead of me, "wont be long, I don't think. I'm just going to try and find a design I want, make an appointment. Maybe you'll find one you like."

"Yeah right, I'll never get a tattoo." She shakes her head and shivers, "what made you want one?"

"Change." I replied, turning into the parking lot of Phoenix Tattoos without a glance at her. The place was painted black outside and the lobby was neon green with a huge display counter with jewelry inside. The walls were lined with tattoo ideas and there were two big leather couches pushed up against them, it wasn't a very big place but it was cold as all Hell, it hadn't even started getting that cold outside yet. It was maybe 65 today.

A skinny woman with dyed purple hair stood behind the counter and looked up when the bell jingled above the door, "Can I help you?" she asked; giving me a disapproving look for a reason I couldn't fathom.

"Is Phoenix here?" I ask. She narrows her eyes at me. I raise a studded eyebrow at her and cross my arms over my chest. She frowns and disappears behind the curtains, a few seconds later she reemerged and jerked her thumb toward the back.

"He's in his office."

"Thanks you _so much._" I snarl, gently grabbing Tori's wrist and pulling her behind the curtain with me. The hallway back here is painted white and lit with bright lights that burn my eyes. I go straight past the tattoo and piercing rooms to Phoenix's office, the door is standing ajar and I nudge it open with my combat boot and step in.

"Jade, I thought it would be you. You always make my receptionists so happy." He jokes, standing up from behind his desk and walking around to hug me. I hug him back, but he's large and my arms barely reach around his back as his large frame swallows me, "and who's this?" he motions to Tori.

"My friend Tori, I had to pick her up on my way here." I shrug pulling out a chair as he goes around his desk and sits again. Tori takes a seat next to me, looking around nervously at the dark walls covered in drawings of tattoos, "so I was thinking about getting another tattoo, not sure what I really want, but your usually good with these things."

"Let me go get the book I'm sure you'll find something in. You want one to look at, too? She usually takes forever to find the perfect one, tends to get boring, waiting around." He advises Tori.

"Yeah, thanks." Tori says nervously, scratching her head as she watches Phoenix move around the room. He grabs a black book spilling with tucked in pages and hands it to me before looking at Tori and tilting his head at her, then he grabs a purple book from the shelf and hands it to her.

I flip through pages and pages and then find one, the last tucked in page in the back of the book. It's a treble clef with the bottom loop turned into a heart and the quote, "one good thing about music, when it hits you, you feel no pain."

"Could you add piano keys in here?" I point to the bottom of the heart.

"Yes, I can." He grabs a piece a paper and starts to resketch it for me, adding the piano keys and changing the font a bit. While we're sitting there I notice Tori hasn't flipped the page she's on for awhile, she's staring at it while running her fingers across the page.

I snigger and get up, crossing the room and hovering over her. She's looking at a picture of a feather that has the words "one day I'll fly away" written under it. On the other page is a feather that turns into birds that says "take these broken wings and learn to fly". They're nothing really special, at least not to me, but she sees something in them.

"Thinking about getting tatted up, Vega?" I tease. She visibly jumps and turns her head toward me slightly, mouth parted in shock, before turning back to the book.

"N-no." she shakes her head, I chuckle and rest my chin on her shoulder, looking down at them, "what?"

"The feather turning into birds is way over done. But I think it'd fit you." I say and then return to my chair where Phoenix and pushing the sketch over to me. I smile down at it happily admiring it silently. Phoenix wanders over to Tori and starts talking with her, I don't hear their conversation, just the sounds of whispers.

When I finally push the sketch back to him he's leaning over the desk with Tori leaning over it too, both sketching. I sat back with a smirk and pulled out my phone. According to a countdown Vega had put on my phone she had another 20 days until her 18th birthday. Once she's done talking to Phoenix we say our goodbyes, and I set an appointment for December 21st for myself, figuring Tori would probably be with Andre or Beck or Cat or someone on her birthday so I'd have a couple hours to myself for this.

"So, what do you feel like doing now, Vega?" I ask as we walk out of the place, she's got her hands buried in her pockets, "home? Food? Mall? School?" I unlock my car doors and we both get into the car, she still hasn't answered.

"Can we go get food? Not somewhere big, I don't really wanna run into anybody." I nod and drive off toward this beach bar I used to go to with Beck, the chances that anyone we know would be here are really slim. Vega gives the bar a strange look as we walk up to it. I hold the door open for her and place my hand on her lower back and steer her toward a table over looking the beach. A waitress passes by and promises to be by in a minute.

Tori pulls out a menu and looks through it while I stare down at the people on the beach sunbathing or swimming. Little kids building sand castles, parents reading books, teenagers splashing each other in the water, all people who seem to not have a worry in the world.

"What can I get you to drink?" the waitress inquired, startling me out of my staring.

"Sprite." I mumbled, Tori ordered the same.

"Are you ready to get your food?"

I glanced at Tori who nodded, "I guess so." Tori ordered a huge burger and fries while I ordered chicken strips tossed in hot sauce. She brought out drinks by two minutes later and promised are food at some point.

"So did you used to come here when you were little?" Tori asks me, pulling my eyes from the ocean to her.

"No. I actually used to come here with Beck when we were first dating; I haven't been here since like three years ago." I took a sip of my drink and rolled my shoulders, popping the bones in my back.

"Well it seems nice. I haven't been down to the beach in a long time. Can we go down after we eat?" she asks excitedly, leaning over the wall to peer down at the beach.

"Why not…" I replied, "but I'm not going anywhere near that fucking water."

"You big baby." She teases; I ignore her with a silent glare when she's not looking before gazing back out at the water. Our food comes a few minutes later and Tori swallows her burger whole, dragging me out onto the beach as soon as I had paid. We dropped our stuff at the car, except for my keys, and she pulled me down to the beach with the excitement Cat would have going into a candy store.

The sand sunk under my boots and made walking a lot harder then it should have been. Vega ran ahead of me happily, her ponytail flying around behind her head like a horse's tail. I frowned when she turned around and grabbed my arm, dragging me alone through the sand faster until we found a place to sit down.

I peeled off my jacket and pulled my own hair up into a ponytail on top of my head, "I can't believe you dragged me out here." I grumbled as Tori settled in the sand, leaning on her elbows and tossing her head back to let the sun heat up her face.

"Oh come on, it's just some sand." She laughs.

"Some kid could have peed here. Right here on this spot, just wazzed all over. And now we're sitting in it." I point out, it makes her roll her eyes at me and just shake her head like I'm an idiot.

"So what were you and Andre doing?" I inquire.

She shifts so she's looking at me, "I've got an assignment for music to make my own mini demo, five tracks all original and I've actually got to write my own song. I'm not good at them, and now I've got to start working on my performance for the big show case."

"I'm so glad I don't have to do that." I chuckle; she narrows her eyes at me.

"Being a singer isn't easy Vega, you think this is stressful wait until you've got to tour, write a whole new album and record it. That shit is stressful and you wont have Andre most likely." She frowns and I felt really bad that I just upset her but then she smiles again, "yeah but I'll get better at it once I have more experiences. All the songs I write are depressing."

"There's nothing wrong with a sad song." I should know I have a huge notebook full of them myself and a few screen plays and some music sheets for piano, "anyways, I'm sure you could use memories of school and like hanging out with us after school and stuff like that. I'm sure the bad clouds out the good, but try to push the clouds away."

"You know, you actually sound like you care Jade."

I fake a gasp, "I do not!" I say in my mock-Tori voice, pushing myself to my now bootless feet.

"I don't talk like that!" I start to run away and she chases after me laughing, finally managing to push me once we were near the water and I fell toward the salt water. I landed with a loud splash in neck high water. Tori stared at me horrified and started to walk closer, "Jade I'm so sorry."

"It's fine, help me up." I hold out my arm, already knowing I'm going to yank her into the water with me.

"Don't pull me in." she warns, taking my hand after I say I won't. I wrap my fingers around her wrist and give it a swift tug, sending her flying into my lap and knocking us both under the salty water.

We fought for a bit, each of us trying to drown the other until we finally called a truce and then swam back to shore, "I hate you so much." She says, ringing out her hair. I give her a huge grin as I bend down to collect my shoes and jacket.

"I've got clothes in my car; we can change into them before getting inside my car." So we grab my clothes and head up to the bar. We slip into the bathroom, which is unfortunately a one person bathroom but neither of us wants to stand outside dripping wet so we both go into the bathroom and I lock the door behind us.

"I'll face the door, you face the baby changing table." I demand, passing her a pair of shorts and a baggy shirt. I pulled out a pair of shorts for myself and a tank top to go with it and carefully peeled off my top. It fell to the floor with a wet splat beside me and my bra followed it. I tugged the tank top over my head and then striped off my pants and after a moment's hesitation my underwear before tugging on the shorts as fast as I can.

Keeping my eyes down I wring out my shirt and jeans in the sink and shove them into the bag, after that I shrug on my leather jacket and pull it tight over my chest, "can I turn around now?" Tori asks.

"Yeah, bring your clothes over here and wring them out." I tell her, so she does, and then stuffs them into the bag, "ready?" she nods after stuffing her shoes into the bag as well and I push my combat boots in as well and then we run out of the bathroom and down to my car because it's really windy and cold.

I slam my door closed behind me, start the car and turn on my heater. When I look down at the clock I realize we were down at the beach for over and hour a half, even though it didn't really feel like that long of a time.

"I can't believe I let you drag me out to the fucking beach on December first, you fucking suck!" I complain when the heater fails to warm me up, "I'm crawling into my damn down stairs Jacuzzi tub when we get home, I can't feel my damn fingers!"

Tori doesn't say anything, too busy sitting in the seat and shivering a lot, trying to hold herself to keep the heat in. I speed up as fast as I can and text my mom at a stop light to see if she's home.

She replies that she's about to leave. I tell her to turn the Jacuzzi on for me and then toss my phone into the cup holder to drive again, swearing on everything I can think of that I'll kill her if she doesn't. When I pull into the garage I force Tori to follow me into the master bathroom that nobody ever bothers using. My mom filled the tub up with hot water-it nearly burns my fingers but I'm grateful because I'm fucking freezing.

"Hop in, Vega." I tell her, crawling in myself. She follows behind me slowly, sinking in with a happy sigh. The tub was a lot bigger when I was younger and now with both of us folded into it our knees our brushing even though we're sitting on opposite ends of the tub.

"Sorry about pushing you in the water Jade." Tori says after he teeth have finally stopped chattering. I shrug and mutter that it's no big deal to me. After awhile I realize I'm still shaking and my stomach is starting to ache like crazy, almost like a stabbing pain. Tori seems to notice to and reaches out to grasp my arm gently, "are you okay?"

"No." I mutter, she pulls me so I'm sitting next to her now, putting an arm around my waist and holding me next to her, I reach beside her and turn on the jets, one beats into the small of my back, distracting me slightly from the aching in my stomach.

"When I was sick my mom used to buy my pizza and sprite and make me watch movies as a distraction. Sometimes I think she wanted me to puke." She chuckles a bit at the thought, "I think once when I was sick I watched the entire run of Buffy the Vampire Slayer."

"That is an ass load of TV to watch, 7 fucking seasons." I managed to say through gritted teeth. Tori nods beside me, "when I was sick, before my parents split, my dad would buy me sprite and ice cream and I _know _he was trying to make me puke. It always made me feel better though."

I tucked myself into Tori's side, resting my head on her warm shoulder. She wrapped her arm tightly around my waist and pulled me closer, "I hope there are towels in here somewhere, or we're going to get everything soaking wet."

"There are towels over there." I point to a closet across from us and Tori untangles herself from me. She grabs a towel and wraps it around herself followed by one around me once I manage to get out of the tub.

We go upstairs and change and Tori comes back into my room and sits down beside me on my bed where I'm sitting staring out at the sunset. She grabs my hand in hers when she finally sits down, "I ordered pizza, should be here soon. I got sprite, too."

"Thank you." I whisper, not meaning the pizza. She squeezes my hand and we turn to look at each other. She gives me a smile and laces her fingers through mine as we watch the sun slowly sink beneath the Earth.


	15. Chapter 15

**Fake It**

**Jade's a great actress, one of the best Hollywood Arts has ever seen. She acts okay, and everyone believes her, everyone that is, except for Tori. After her second break up Jade runs back to her old habits and her bad friends with bad reputations and worse habits. Jade's spiraling down a dark path with only her new found friendship with Tori to keep her a float, will Jade fall down, or will new love pull her free?**

**Rated M**

**I do not own the characters mentioned, the places mentioned, or anything else. If I did jori would be canon and it wouldn't be on Nick anymore.**

By the time the door bell rang Tori and I were already heading downstairs to get plates to eat off of. Since I was closest to the door I opened it, letting her hand go as I turned to the door. Beck was standing on the other side frowning. "What's up?" I ask fake cheerily, fishing my wallet from my pocket and passing the money to him. He pockets it while I take the boxes.

"Ryder was standing outside, looking up at your window when I got here. He doesn't look good, at all." Beck explained, "Has he been creeping around a lot?"

"He showed up yesterday right before we left for the premier, but my dad sent him away. We'll be fine, thanks for worrying. See you tomorrow at school, Beck." He waves goodbye and heads back down to his truck while I shut the door, flipping the lock as I make my way upstairs. Tori follows behind me holding plates and cups.

It takes a lot of focus from me to not drop the boxes or trip on my way up the stairs, and when I finally settle in my bean bag chair I feel as if I'd just run a mile. While I focus on the way my hands shake Tori pours me a glass of soda, puts a lid on it and pops a straw into it before passing me some pizza.

She puts a movie in the DVD player and settles in beside me with her own pizza and cup and in a few seconds the opening titles of 'The Scissoring' appear on the screen and some part of me feels kind of warm and fuzzy. Tori absolutely hates horror movies, and very much abhors the Scissoring, yet she put it in without my asking.

"Thanks." I whisper, she shrugs, her eyes not leaving the screen as she eats her pizza. I carefully lift my own pizza to my lips and take a huge bite before setting it back onto my beanbag, all too soon I'm sucked into the movie and eating and drinking on autopilot, but after awhile even my favorite movie can't distract me from the severe shaking that took over my body.

Tori pushed the empty plates of food away from us, pulled my bean bag closer to her and pulled me so I was lying with my head on her lap with one hand holding my waist and the other running its fingers through my hair while I tried in vain to focus on the movie. Once I found I couldn't focus on it for even a minute I decided we were done.

"I need to get to bed. Shut this off." I mumble, struggling to get to my feet. I picked up my plate and my cup, but Tori hastily snatched them from my hands, pushing my shoulder lightly.

"You go get into bed, pee or vomit if you need to. I'll put this away and come back up." She balanced the cups, plates and box on one hand and picked up the soda with the other before she disappeared down the hall.

I made my way over to the bathroom and made it to the bathroom, just barely, before I fell to my knees and vomit into the toilet until my stomach caved in on itself and I was shaking uncontrollably. I sat back on the heels of my feet and flushed the toilet, only to lurch over the toilet and vomit again, my eyes began to water and my vision was gone. My body was convulsing and I felt ready to just keel over and die.

And then cool fingers brushed my neck, pulling my hair away from my face and Tori's other hand rubbed circles on my back softly. After two more episodes of this I brushed my teeth twice and crawled into my bed, after changing somehow.

Tori stood in the door way for a minute watching me, but I turned my back to her, feeling like a burden now and it's only been one night. I hear her footsteps disappear and sigh, feeling the tears building up and leaking from the corners of my eyes down my cheeks and into the spot between my cheek and my arm. It feels gross and I hate it but I don't care enough to move and wipe the tears away.

I stay like that for five minutes, my nose stuffing up from my silent tears and my lip hurting from where I bit down on it to keep from sobbing, and then I notice the bed dip down behind me and a slim arm wraps around my waist. I roll over so fast I get dizzy and Tori pulls me to her, wrapping her arms around my back and rubbing her hands in soothing motions across it.

I feel a pressure on top of my head and look up to see her looking down at me, she ducks her head and kisses my forehead before closing her eyes and shifting slightly as if to tell me, 'it's okay, go to bed'. I close my eyes and fall into a strange sleep only made of colors. Red, green, purple. They're fighting for dominance in my head, the purple is so far the champ.

When someone's alarm goes off at six Tori's still holding me in almost the same position as when we'd fallen asleep and she's slowly waking up, where as I jerked awake as soon as the noise started.

Slowly, like a cat stretching when it first wakes, she reaches behind her and plucks my phone from the dresser and kills the noise. She drops the phone between us afterwards and curls back up. "Tori, we have to get up, you know. We're starting our exams soon, we've got to study before winter break starts, 'cause we all know we're not going to study during break."

"No." she mutters.

"Come on it's hardly a whole day. Up, up, up." I poke her gently in the side and it makes her body jerk involuntarily. She opened her eyes and gave me a glare that might have scared someone not me. I just smiled at her and poked her again until she flailed, smacking her knee into mine before she hastily made her way out of my bed.

Once she left my room to go get dressed. I pulled on a pair of jeans and an off the shoulder black top with a pair of heeled boots. I pulled my hair up into a pony tail on the back of my head and went into the bathroom to wash my face.

Once I was done I went downstairs and grabbed a slice of left over pizza and ate it while drinking a cup of sprite with it. Tori came down a few minutes later in a pair of jeans and a purple sweater.

She glanced at what I was eating and grabbed a slice of pizza and a cup for herself. A couple of minutes later my brother joined us downstairs looking almost asleep on his feet as if he'd been out partying all night. He was still in his pajamas and his hair wasn't brushed yet. He walked straight to the freezer and pulled the door open, grabbing a box from it and shuffling over to the toaster. He put two waffles in the toaster and put the box back in the freezer before leaving the room.

"He looks like he spent all weekend partying." Tori jokes, taking a huge bite of her pizza. I laugh, covering my mouth so I don't spit my pizza at her because frankly it was funny because I'd thought the same thing myself. She gave me a strange look and I just stared down into my glass of soda trying to swallow my food without choking on it.

After we finished eating we went upstairs brushed our teeth and grabbed our school bags before heading out to my car. I handed Tori the keys silently and got into the passenger seat. She didn't say anything, instead she got into the drivers seat, started the car and we headed off to school.

We pulled into a parking space just as Beck's truck rolled in beside us. As soon as I stepped out Jen was hooking her arm through mine, "Hey West. Tori!" she hooked her other arm through Tori's and called goodbye to Beck before we made it through the doors.

"So how many exams did you study for, exactly?" Jen asked. I shrugged, and by that I meant 'none'. We stopped by first my locker, then Jen's and finally Tori's. Exams started three days after break and that meant three days of showing up for school to get attendance and study all day before break.

We agreed to meet in the library when we were released and Jen and I headed off to college algebra. "So which subjects are you farthest behind in?" Jen asks, pulling out her math study guide to look like she was doing math related work.

"Science. I skipped that class even when I was showing up for school. I just suck at science." I tell her, pulling out my review for the test. I drop down all ten pages and just stare at it horrified; I was failing this exam no matter what.

"Maybe Tori can help you with that one, she's all science nerdy." Jen points out, "since your good at History and shit, help me with this." She shoves a study guide in front of me and I glance at it and take her pencil, filling in the answers on the first page rapidly, moving onto the second page and filling in that, "thanks."

"Whatever, just study, or read that four times and copy it onto another paper or something. Quickest way to study and memorize." After the bell rang our teacher pretty much kicked us out so Jen and I walked down to the library where we found Beck, Cat, Robbie, Andre and Tori already sitting. There were two open seats between Tori and Beck that Jen and I quickly filled.

"Robbie, did you even bother to stop by class first?" I asked him, he shook his head no and muttered something about Sikowitz before turning back to his study guide. Cat was leaning in beside Andre working on a study guide and Jen and Beck were in deep conversation about something, leaving Tori and I in our own private bubble.

"So which study guide are you working on?" she asked me, leaning over to look at the science study guide sitting in front of me. That prompted her to start teaching me all about balancing chemical equations and other shit. Some of it was easy, mostly algebra two math things, but other stuff just annoyed me because it was so long.

About half way through the day Tori and I start working on her math and our history exams and eventually we all stop working, nearly at the same time, and look at the mess of reviews, books, papers and pencils littering the table. I gave up on studying first, shoving away from the table with a loud huff.

"Coffee run." I offer. Tori stands up with me followed by Cat. We walk down the block to the coffee shop and stand in line between a bunch of other Hollywood Arts students. Cat's shockingly quiet today, as she usually is during exams. I think she starts taking her medication so she can focus, make her parents happy by passing exams.

She keeps her head down and plays with the hem of her skirt while we wait. Tori shoots me a nervous look and glances at Cat briefly before her eyes flick back to me. "hey Cat, you okay?" I ask softly.

She picks her head up and shoves a small smile onto her face, an almost shy smile. That's not really a Cat thing. She's never really that shy, "yeah, I've got to take my medication to study and stuff. Andre's really helpful." She smiles more, blushing slightly.

I raise an eyebrow at Tori who giggles as we step up to the counter and place our orders. We step way aside and Tori pokes Cat's arm carefully, drawing those brown eyes up from the hem of her skirt, "what?"

"How 'helpful' has Andre been, exactly?" she teases. Cat's eyes widen slightly and she bites her bottom lip.

"He's helped me study for exams and stuff. He's really nice, and he's patient, too. I really never noticed before…oh our orders up!" she changes the subject, leaning up and snatching one of the trays. I grab the other and Tori holds the door open for us as we walk down the block again and back into the library.

I pass out the coffee's and sink into my chair beside Jen, Tori is leaning over talking to Andre, Cat's arguing with Robbie about something and Jen and Beck are off in their own little couple-y world. I lean back in my chair, tip my head back and close my eyes with a soft sigh.

The world seems to rush away for a minute, my spine pops in various places, my chair tips and then I'm suspended for a few seconds in that place before you fall backwards off of a chair. My heart jumps into my throat, my muscles tense and a squeal tears from my throat as I fall back in the chair, smacking my head on the table behind me as I go.

I blink trying to clear the black dots from my vision and rub the bump on the back of my head. Faces float in front of me and words of concern seem to bounce off of a wall before my ear drums. The worlds are muffled, the faces are blurred and I feel really dizzy.

The faces blur into one, brown eyes are all I see, blonde hair falling into them. Fear grips my heart and I lash out, my hand connects with nothing as I force myself to scoot away.

And then the world comes back in a rush, the picture focuses, the wall falls down and the dull ache in my head informs me that I had smacked it pretty hard on the desk behind me, "oops." I manage to say, chuckling nervously aware that my whole body is shaking.

They're all staring at me, most frightened and concerned, but something about Tori's gaze tells me she knows. She shoos everyone else away from me and helps me to my feet, giving me a look that asks if I'm okay. I nod slowly and sit down again, scooting up to the table and leaning onto it and away from the back of the chair, no more falls for me.

It was around noon that we all packed up and headed out to the grub truck for lunch, after that we went to our sixth period for all of two seconds to check in like we had every period before we returned to the library to study until 7th period was over.

Tori drove us home and as soon as we got there she went up to her room while I dropped my stuff in mine and wandered down to that room again. Over the past few months I've destroyed this room, shattering pictures, ripping posters, breaking CD's, ripping pillows, burning books, smashing a few lamps destroying what I could.

It probably wasn't any good for my health in any way, but it made me feel better. But now I simply stood leaning against the door frame looking in feeling like screaming and ripping my hair out of my head from sheer frustration.

Tommy had been gone for almost 11 years, he'd come back after my parents had split once when I was about 12, and I'd thought I'd been getting better until his big hulking body was filling the doorway to our house.

I'd screamed and my legs fell out from under me, and once my father got me to talk I told him I was excited my brother was back. That night he'd come into my room to talk to me and we'd argued and he hit me so hard he shattered my cheek bone. I'd claimed I tripped and hit my dresser; my dad didn't care enough to know I was lying. He never cared enough, anyways, to listen to the screams, the crying, the broken bones, cuts and bruises. I wasn't worth it.

A hand touched my shoulder and I jumped, pulling my hand back to lash out, and then I found Tori giving me this worried look. I put my hand down at my side and she stepped forward, reaching up and wiping my face with her thumb. I hadn't realized I started crying.

"Thanks."

"I was going to work on my science study guide again, need some help?" I nod, reach forward and pull the door shut, and then follow Tori down to the guest room she was using. We sit on her bed and work through problems, and I thought today was turning out to be a good day, until the shaking started and I ran to the bathroom.

I missed the last few days of school before winter break; Tori told everyone I had the flu. Nobody came by to check on me for the first few days, until the last day of school. I heard a bunch of knocking on my front door an hour before Tori should be getting home so I stumbled downstairs, peered through the window by my door and found Beck standing there.

I pulled the door open, coughing into my hand before lifting my head to face him, "I had a doctors appointment so I thought I'd stop by and see how you were doing." He smiled as pleasantly as a fake smile could be. I gave him a glare before turning and stomping into the kitchen away from him.

"You smell like sweat, haven't showered lately? I know that used to help." I knew he was trying to be helpful and not sound like he felt awkward. But I turned my glare onto full blast in his direction just get out.

"Can't stand long enough on my own to shower recently." I said, as it was I was using the wall, the counter, chairs and anything else to keep myself from falling down. I jerk open the door to the fridge and grab a bottle of water, "besides the only person that's usually around me is Vega and she's way too nice to say anything, but I don't want to have to put her through that."

I attempt to twist the cap off but my hands are too shaky and in a blink Beck had it open for me and passed it back. I stared at him and put the bottle up to my lips, taking a drink and wincing as the ice cold water gave me a brain freeze.

"Why are you really here, Beck?" I ask once the brain freeze passes.

"I was being honest when I said I wanted to see how you were doing, but Tori and Jen were doing something-they wouldn't tell me what- and demanded that I come over here and keep you company." He answered, "and before you kick me out, Jen dropped me off and I have no way home."

"I can still kick you out." I point out, slowly walking around the counter to head for the stairs. When I started to fall Beck reached out to catch me, ending up grabbing me under my arms. He helped me up to my room which honestly reeked and set me down on my bed, which made the smell amplify times ten.

"What if you just sit in the tub and wash up, I mean you can't be enjoying the smell." Beck tells me, "and I'll clean up your room while you're doing that."

"You gunna check for the drugs?" I narrow my eyes at him, my teeth clenched in anger.

"I know you don't keep drugs in your room, Jade. I honestly want to help you out." I was about to start screaming at him about how he helped me out so well last time, but my door bell cut me off and my head spun around. It was probably for the better.

"I'll go see who it is." Beck offered, I just nodded and as soon as he was gone I stumbled to my window, threw it open and leaned out to see who was at the door. It was Andre, holding a box of candy.

Beck came into the room a few minutes later, "Tori and Jen sent Andre, he doesn't know what's going on and it's up to you-."

"Can you go fill up the tub for me? And Andre can come up." He nods, shoving his fingers through his hair. Inside I'm seething, Tori is sending more and more people to baby sit me, like I'm handicapped or something. I don't care how nice she thinks she's being I just want to be alone. I don't need anybody, and I don't need her.

"Hola." Andre called; I looked up to see him standing in the doorway with a smile on his face, "you look perfectly miserable. I was told to bring chocolate." He holds up the package and waves it around before setting it on my desk.

"Thanks, but chocolate is not going to make me feel better." I unscrew the cap on my water bottle and take a large sip, "Vega didn't tell you?"

"Nope. She said that you were sick and I was supposed to bring you chocolate. But Vivian hasn't been saying any nice things." Anger boils in my stomach, of course that bitch would turn on me again, "she's been telling everyone you slept with her brother to get free drugs and got pregnant and tried to blame him and a bunch of other shit. Word is, Ryder's in rehab and she's blaming you for that too."

"I really want to punch her in the face."

"Someone already beat you to it." Andre shrugged, "we'll talk more after you take a bath. I'm going to help Beck clean up." The pair of them helped me get to the bathroom and leave me on my own to strip down and sink into the warm water. I start with my body, finding that Beck dropped a few wash clothes onto the hamper for me.

It takes me a while to feel anything near clean and even then I still feel itchy. I force myself to stand up and flip on the shower head; draining the tub while I wash my body a fourth time and then I wash my hair. When I get out I let myself air dry and brush my teeth four times, already starting to feel less like death then I had before.

I wrap a towel around my chest once I'm done cleaning myself up and pull open the door, leaning on the door jam to stare across the hall into my room where the boys are trying to make my bed for me. It makes me want to laugh while I'm watching it, but I stay silent until they've finished, both looking extremely annoyed.

They turn to pick up the old sheets from the floor and spot me, their faces turning from annoyed to slightly sheepish, knowing they've been caught looking like really big idiots. "Out, I need to get dressed." I cross the room, managing to not look like a drunken idiot, and shoo them out with my hands while I walk over to my dresser and pull out my clothes.

It's an interesting process, getting dressed. I've never noticed how much work it is to put on pants, drag a shirt over my head. I wasn't even going to bother attempting to put a bra on, I might fall and land face first on the floor. Once I was done changing I opened the door again, grabbed the chocolate from Andre and sat down on my bed.

The boys came upstairs in less then five minutes and took spots on either side of me on my bed, "so Vivian wasn't a complete liar, I was sleeping with Ryder and getting drugs from him, but they weren't tied together. I sure as hell wasn't pregnant." I felt that anger bubble up in my stomach again, "so yeah."

"So the shaking….detox?" Andre asks, I nod and open the box of chocolates, popping one into my mouth. I spin and stare out my window, looking down at the empty pool. My hands shake as I lift the pieces of chocolate up to my mouth, but the shaking isn't so bad. Yet.

"So any hints about how long it will be before those weirdo's get back?" I ask, lying back on my bed, "because I'm getting bored."

"They didn't say. Just told us to stop by and keep you company for awhile." Andre replied, "So how shall we entertain ourselves?"

An hour later found us all sitting in my brother's room playing with his Marvel characters with him after he came home from school early not feeling very well. When they finally decided I was no fun they put the Hulk into a coma and gave me the excuse I needed to go down stairs and harass my mother.

When I finally tracked her down she was in the kitchen making herself a sandwich, "so I know that damn doctor has called back by now, what's wrong with James?"

"They said they didn't find anything, and that his CBC came back strange because of anemia. You know how doctors are, guess the worst possible things, and then go backwards from there." She waves her hand in the air dismissively.

"I know that. I'm proud of you, the kids, and the doctor's visits. You actually know how to be a real mom." I watch her eyes narrow at the bologna in annoyance at my words, "now if only you could've pulled that off when I was still your kid."

"You are still my kid!" she yelled, "so quit treating me like I'm a horrible person! I'm a good mother!"

"No you weren't, and I don't believe you are now. Good little act, all for dad right? He wants to think he's leaving a responsible adult taking care of his child." I muse, "anyways, when's he getting home? Where'd he go?"

"He went to see your brother." I tried to keep my face as impassive as possible, "not sure why. He should be back soon."

"Great." I snatch a pear from our fruit bowl and step away from the counter. As I'm walking back toward the stairs I hear keys in the front door and it springs open to reveal Tori and Jen pushing through the door with bags in their hands, "What in the hell were you two doing?" I take a huge bite out of the pear and raise my studded eyebrow at them.

"Come help us, useless." Jen snapped.

I take a huge bite out of the pear, "I'm eating. Beck! Andre!" I yell up the stairs, stomping my way up strictly for the fun of it. They step out of James' room, just barely visible from where we're all standing, each holding two action figures.

"What were they doing up their?" Jen asked when the boys disappeared back into James' room.

"Playing with dolls." I went back down the stairs, held my pear between my teeth, and helped carry the bags up to Tori's room, I pull the pear from my mouth and chew a bite slowly, "so how was your shopping trip?"

Tori turns and gives me a look that clearly means 'shut up'. I had no clue what that look was about, so I just ignored it and spun my pear between my fingers.

"Tori needed some fun time, I hear baby sitting you is absolutely no fun. How's the cold? You look better than you did before." Jen raises an eyebrow at me.

"I'm feeling better." I shrug, I take another bite from my pear and chew it slowly, watching Tori digging around in bags and sorting them into her dresser that was filled with barely any clothes, she'd been borrowing mine from a few years ago once she ran out of her own.

By now everyone in our small group had realized Tori wasn't living with me because her parents were out of town, but nobody had questioned Tori about it, they just sort of let it go, just like Jen was pretending she really thought I had the flu.

I take the final bites of my pear while they unpack and then head downstairs to throw it away in the kitchen while they go find Beck and Andre so we can all watch a movie or something like that. I wasn't really listening to a word they said.


	16. Chapter 16

**Fake It**

**Jade's a great actress, one of the best Hollywood Arts has ever seen. She acts okay, and everyone believes her, everyone that is, except for Tori. After her second break up Jade runs back to her old habits and her bad friends with bad reputations and worse habits. Jade's spiraling down a dark path with only her new found friendship with Tori to keep her a float, will Jade fall down, or will new love pull her free?**

**Rated M**

**I do not own the characters mentioned, the places mentioned, or anything else. If I did jori would be canon and it wouldn't be on Nick anymore.**

**Summer is so close I can feel it….**

**Enjoy the chapter. **

Time flies quickly when you're not paying any attention. It was already winter break, or well two days ago it had started. Christmas would be here and gone soon, then new years, then second semester. I'd graduate soon, it had just occurred to me. But then again with my grades, I might not graduate with my class.

My grades are tanking, I'm sure as hell not studying for exams; I just can't find it in me to study. My mind is buzzing with too many thoughts all at once. Mostly because I'm alone, a lot. Even if I tried to start studying I'd just end up off thinking some random thoughts.

Tori had been off with Andre almost everyday working on her mini album for class. Mom had been off doing god knows what and dad came back from visiting he-who-wont-be-named and left for a business trip a day later.

Right now, James was asleep upstairs still feeling under the weather, and I was sitting in the previously locked piano room. Last night I'd looked up piano covers for random songs and memorized a few of them.

I had to find something to do to stop thinking; thinking got me into trouble-along with my big mouth. Dad was due home today, and mom was due home at some point this week. Tori hadn't been coming home until 8 or 9 and that left a whole day for me to fill with things that keep me successfully distracted.

Of course now all I was doing was playing random tunes on our grand piano. When I'd finally got the lock picked I'd had to dust off the piano and the bench and open all the windows just so I could sit down and not choke on all of the dust.

I also found my old piano notebook sitting in there and it was sitting open in front of me. I played through a few of the songs, cringing at how poorly put together they were and as I played I changed notes until they sounded decent, but soon I grew annoyed with that I started playing on of the songs I'd looked up last night.

"I'll love you for a thousand more." I sing softly, my fingers sliding over the keys fluidly. My hands will probably start to hurt eventually; I've been down here for almost two hours just playing randomly, "and all along I believed I would find you…"

It was weird, the random songs that popped into my head, but I liked how random it was at times, too. "One step closer…." I didn't actually know this song all the way through so I just stopped playing and started in on a new song.

"Help, I have done it again. I have been here, many times before….hurt myself again, today….and the worst part is there's no one else to blame." My fingers stumbled over a few notes and I mentally cursed at myself, "be my friend, hold me, wrap me up."

Once again my fingers fumbled and I started playing a different song, just so I'd stop screwing up. This song was easier, a little quicker, but a song I used to play a lot when I was still with Beck-just not in front of him. Ever.

"Don't you drink their poison too, these are the scars that words have carved on me." people had spent the first few months of our relationship telling Beck I was a lost cause, worthless, and not good for him, "so don't turn away now, I am turning in revolution, these are the scars that silence carved, on me." but I never once spoke up against them, not at first. I was too frightened, broken. I, too, believed that I was worthless, not worth saving. He didn't feel the same way. He seemed to be the only person who thought I was worth it.

Now Vega saw it too, but she didn't scream at me to force me to clean myself up, she silently gave me an ultimatum. Clean myself up or I'd let everyone down. She knew I had to do it myself or I'd never get any better, but some part of me wondered if it was me wanting to be better or the second silent promise that I had a chance with Tori if I cleaned up.

Why the hell was I thinking that? Do I even want anything with Tori? Friendship maybe sure, but that's not enough to clean myself up.

_"I don't do junkies, West. Clean up your act and maybe you have a chance."_

_"What makes you think I want a chance? Or you?" _

That did make me feel something, even if I didn't want to admit it then. I don't know what part of me or how much of me wanted it, but some part of me wanted a chance with Tori. She was attractive, maybe that was it. But I guess that's how it starts right. Appearance catches the attention but personality catches the heart.

She was nice. And an amazing person with a great personality and her laughter, the way she ignored my rudeness, saw past it. The way she can make my heart- _no._ Stop thinking about her Jade.

"I am a constant satellite, of your blazing sun, my love. I obey your law of gravity. This is the fate you've carved on me, the law of gravity." My body wasn't shaking so badly anymore, the ever present headache I'd gotten between my shaking had faded away and the craving for drugs had almost vanished.

Almost.

It was still there, hovering in the back of my mind. A voice whispering to go get some, run and find it. Fall into that numb state. I push it away and played a bit of Mozart, it took up a lot of my concentration, which successfully shut that voice up.

Tori still slipped through, it was because of her I was able to ignore my cravings; she kept me from thinking about it. I could cope with out them, and so far I was able to survive without her being around, too.

"Jade!" my fingers slammed down on the wrong keys and I hit a bunch of horrible notes, "Jade!" I flew off of the bench and raced up the stairs as fast as I could. James was in his bathroom, hovering over the toilet. I made just in time to watch him heave in a breath and hunch over the toilet and vomit again.

I grab a cloth, wet it with warm water and crouch beside him, rubbing his back, "you done?" I ask softly. He nods, slowly sitting back. I wipe off his face gently and look down at his shirt and the bits of his hair also splattered with vomit. I wince, flush the toilet and help him pull of his shirt before I wipe his hair with a clean cloth.

"My belly hurts really bad." He whispers, holding his stomach and leaning against the wall.

"I know, come on." I pick him up and lay him on the couch in the living room before I go get bowl in case he pukes again. He snuggles under a blanket and closes his eyes clutching his stomach.

I race back into the kitchen and tear it apart looking for the hot water bottle that just _has _to be in the kitchen. When I can't find it I dial Tori's number while still tearing cupboards apart to look for the damn thing.

"What do you want Jade?" she sounds annoyed, and ordinarily I might care, but right now I don't. My mind is focused on my brother. Getting him better.

"Where's the hot water bottle?" I snap into the phone.

"In the cabinet above the fridge, why?" she asks. I jerk a chair over in front of the fridge and crawl onto it, finding the stupid red thing right where she said it'd be, "Jade! What's wrong?"

"James is sick." I hang up on her to fill the thing up with hot water and carry it out to my brother, "just lay it against your stomach, it's hot, but it will make the hurt go away, I'm going to call the doctor, okay?"

I walk back into the kitchen to get the number from the fridge; it takes a few rings to get through to a nurse who tells me to bring him in at noon. I glance over at the clock and see that's in thirty minutes and I thank her before I head upstairs.

I grab a random shirt for James to wear and hand it to him before pulling him out to the car. He sits in the back seat curled up around the hot water bottle. I text Tori to tell her where I'm going and try to call my mom, leaving a message for her and then I text my dad before I pull out of the garage and head down to the office.

When we get there James curls up on the couch in the waiting room and I sign him in, he's number three on the list. I sat down beside him and tapped my foot impatiently on the ground, I couldn't have stopped it even if I wanted to because I'd been tapping my fingers together after I stopped playing, on the steering wheel, and now I was sitting still so my foot started to tap so my hands were still.

My phone buzzed loudly in my pocket, or maybe it only seemed loud because of how quiet it was in here. Either way I fished it out in a rush and found Vega's face on my screen.

I tapped on answer and pressed the phone to my ear, "what?"

"You left the front door unlocked." She snapped, "and there's a pan in the living room because?"

"In case James got sick again. I'm at the doctors with him right now, I'll be home later."

"Okay, are you alright?" she adds as an after thought.

"Just fine." And then I hang up. We're ushered back twenty minutes later and then sent away for an ultrasound on his stomach because the doctor things he might have kidney stones, since they run in our family. Luckily the woman behind the counter allows me to sign for him since I'm 18 and his sister and we're now stuck waiting for 2 hours.

"You need to stop getting so sick, James." I joke, he sticks his tongue out at me as if trying to be playful but then he grabs his stomach and winces. I frown annoyed and sit back in my chair trying to get comfortable. My stomach growls in anger at me, I haven't eaten anything since I woke up at 6 this morning.

When his name is called we both jump up from our seats and rush back, he's given the ultrasound and I sit in the corner and watch, my foot tapping on the floor in annoyance as my stomach growls loudly. The tech promises the doctor will have the results in an hour and we leave to wait for her to call.

James goes straight up to his room and I grab the house phone and carry it up to my room with me, a few minutes after I sit down Tori walks in, leaning into my room cautiously, "can I come in?" she asks, I shrug and she steps through the door, "You okay?"

"Yeah." I grunt.

"What do they think he has?" she asks softly.

"Kidney stones." A bubble of laughter escapes my mouth, my nerves unwind and tears burn my eyes as I laugh hysterically, "I'm going crazy. Over reacting about the kid vomiting when he's sick."

"No your not." She tells me, wandering over to the chair at my computer, "Once when I was little Trina called the paramedics when I fell and scraped my knee and wouldn't stop crying. Older siblings are supposed to over react and be worried when parents aren't around, especially you. You're used to looking after only yourself, now you've got James here and you're super confused."

"Do you have to know everything, Vega?" I joke, she grins and nods at me, kicking her feet up onto the edge of my bed and leaning back in the chair. I lean forward and smack her feet off of the bed. The chair spins fast and dumps Vega half on my floor, half on my bed.

She blows a piece of hair out of her face and glares at me, pushing herself to her feet before she sits down on my bed, too far from the edge for me to shove her off, not that I would a second time.

"My dad keeps driving by here." Tori says, she's staring out my window which looks out over both our pool and the alley behind my house and a bit of the front street, I see a cop car slowly roll by.

"That's really creepy." I comment, "ugh, my moms home." We both watch her car roll up and jerk to a stop before she stumbles out of the drivers seat and up toward the door. From the glimpse of her I get I can see her hair is a frazzled mess, she keeps wiping at her face with the back of her hand and she can't walk straight.

"She's drunk." Tori comments.

"She wasted." I correct in a monotone voice.

We silently listen as she unlocks the front door and we can hear her stumble inside, "Jamessss! Jaddee!" I jump out of my bed in a flash, Tori following right behind me. I point at James' room where he's stepping out and Tori walks over and shoos him back inside, disappearing with him and closing the door.

"What do you want?" I ask in a calm voice, coming down the stairs slowly. She looks up at me with an angry glare, her lips pulling back so she can bare her teeth at me with a slight angry growl. Her teeth are stained yellow around the gums and it makes me feel slightly sick.

"You're such an ungrateful little bitch." She stumbles toward the stairs and I stop descending. She's such an angry drunk, I had thought about running to my brothers room and hiding in there with him, no need to start a stupid argument, but the words anger me and the idea disappears from my mind.

"What do I have to be grateful to you for?" I ask her, "my low self esteem? My depression? What the hell have you done for me, ever?"

"I gave birth to you!" she screamed, "you and your brothers!"

"Oh that's such a huge accomplishment, you gave birth to an abuser, a fuck up, and hopefully James didn't spend long enough with you to become demented, too!" I yell back.

"You shut your ungrateful mouth you stupid little whore!" she takes a few steps toward me, well she tries.

"I'm not the whore in this argument." I walk closer to her my voice cold and detached, "are you sure James is dads? Are you sure I'm his? What about Tommy? Do I have any other siblings you didn't tell us about?"

"I was too busy raising you, you useless bitch! You and your brothers, I was a great mom, I _am _a great mom! I loved you kids with all I had I never laid a hand on you!" she yelled.

"No! You let someone else beat me instead!" my screams were tearing up the back of my throat. I took a step toward her and she backed up, so I kept doing it, "and you knew. You knew what he was doing to me and you didn't stop it. And you didn't tell dad, and you never told anyone, you just said 'oh they're being kids' and 'she's fine' and told people I tripped and hit a door or something stupid like that. You are the _worst _person ever and you will never deserve the title mother!"

I back her all the way to her bedroom door and I'm in her face now, she's breathing vodka breath all over me and its smothering me, also making that ache come back to my body. I want a drink, I want drugs. _No, no. _

"You asked for it." She spat, slapping me hard across the face. My hands balled into fists and my stomach twisted with anger. I wanted to hit her, I really did. She didn't mean I asked for the slap, no she meant I asked for Tommy. And some part of me, deep, deep, deep down hurt. My arm rose to swing, I was _ready_.

A large, firm, strong hand wrapped around my fist and pushed my hand down to my side, "Get out. I want you gone in an hour, I don't care where you go, get out of this house." My dad's voice scared the shit out of me, but my mother went pale and shrunk back against her door, shaking in fear.

"N-no. You can't do that, James and I we have nowhere to go." She stuttered as if suddenly sobering up. My cheek throbbed. My stomach ached, my mind and body were begging for release. I couldn't do this.

"I told you to get out, James is staying here. Jade are you-." I turn away from them both and bolt straight for the door, pausing long enough to look up at the stairs where James and Tori are both standing. James looks terrified and Tori has her arms around him, holding him protectively as tears are streaming down her face. I'm out of it before anybody can come after me and I'm heading down the street as fast as I can.

For a few seconds I think about going to Ryder's or the basement, but I don't. I run straight past that and head for a general nowhere, away from anywhere Vega would inevitably come find me. I couldn't see her, I couldn't see my parents; I didn't want to see anybody. My mind was crumbling away, my thoughts muddled, my heart aching and anger simmering into hatred for the woman who dared call herself my mother. I couldn't say I hated her before, but now I do.

It's about twenty minutes before I realize I'm not dressed to be wandering around in winter, in a short skirt, some leggings, combat boots and a thin tank top, but I'm not going back home. I walk around aimlessly, noting the lack of people on the streets. Those that pass me give me strange looks that I returned with a strange look of my own and then I keep going on my way.

Should I have run out of there like that? I mean it was better then me staying there and punching her and screaming at my dad. Because I know I would have. With the way everything been lately I'm surprised that's the first time I've exploded on someone.

I wrap my arms around myself, trying to trap in as much heat as possible. Cold tears are rolling down my winter bitten cheeks, my nose feels numb and aches, my ears are freezing and my teeth are chattering. I'm not built for the cold, and I'm certainly not dressed for it.

After awhile I walk into a store, I'm not sure where I end up exactly, a music store of some kind, an hour after I ran out of the house. I'm freezing cold, the tears were dried to my face and my cheek still ached, now cold as well as sore. Inside of the shop the air was warm, slowly melting away the winter's effects on my skin.

"Can I help you find something?" my head snapped up at the sound of the familiar voice and my gaze met a set of pale blue eyes behind thick framed glasses. My old piano instructor looked equally as shocked to see me standing in the middle of the music shop, "Jade?"

"Hi Miss Silverstone." I greet nervously, trying to pretend I didn't realize how pathetic I looked standing there practically holding myself together with small threads of sanity and my arms wrapped around my body. She walks over to me and puts a hand on my shoulder gently.

"You're freezing." She whispers, she pulls off her jacket and drapes it over my shoulders, rubbing her hands over my arms to try and help me warm up. I stand there staring at the floor trying to gather some form of togetherness, but I feel like a jumbled mess of crap.

Miss Silverstone leads me over to a chair behind her counter and has me sit down while she wanders off; when she comes back she's holding a mug, "all I have is coffee, but its warm." She offers me the cup and I take it gratefully, sipping it slowly. Warm spreads through my stomach, warming me from the inside out. Yet I still felt numb. I guess I never really felt anything but numb most of the time.

A bell over the door tinkles, I hadn't noticed the noise when I'd walked in, and Miss Silverstone wanders over to help the new customer. I hadn't seen the woman in years, yet I still felt safe being around her. She'd had this calming effect on me-at least when she wasn't teaching me. If she was teaching she scared me shitless.

My hands, I realized were trembling, my thoughts raced around none of the forming a complete sentence. I nearly punched her; Tori looked so hurt, my dads never looked that angry. I don't-I can't go face them anytime soon. God I can't believe I almost punched her. I'd never hit anyone before, I didn't like violence. I never have, probably thanks to my brother.

My thoughts were shattered when the bell tinkled again and she was back, leaning against the counter, "are you okay? Did someone hurt you?"

"Not physically. I'm just having a rough year." I whisper, sipping the coffee again. More accurately, I'm having a rough life, "I got in a fight with my mom and some not so nice things were said and I left the house so I didn't do something I regret."

"Well I close in an hour, your welcome to stay here until then. Unfortunately, I'm going out of town or I'd offer you my couch." She tells me, patting my shoulder comfortingly. I nod in thanks, unable to find words.

Outside the shop it was dark. I hadn't even noticed it had gotten that dark until then. Had it been dark when I ran out of the house, or just on my way over here. How long had it even taken for me to get here?

Piano notes softly drifted into my ears and I turned my head to see Miss Silverstone sitting at a piano playing with her back to me. I vaguely recognized the song, "I don't wanna be that call at four o'clock in the morning, cause I'm the only one you know in the world that won't be home."

"Ah the sun is blinding, I stayed up again. Ohhh, ohh, I am finding, that's not way I want my story to end. I'm safe up high, nothing can touch me, but why do I feel this party's over. No pain, inside, you're my protection. How do I feel this good sober?"

I block out her words and try to make some sense of my thoughts, feelings, anything. The first thought in my head flashes to Tori, she'd be worried about me being out and about me running away. She'd be worried about me pointblank. She was always worried about me and now I was worried about her worrying about me, but why?

_Because you like her, idiot. _The thought comes from the part of my brain that was earlier whispering for drugs, but now it just whispered, _go to her. _Why though? Did I really like her? I suppose that could be a stupid question. Vega was impossible not to like, but how did I like her. Enough to go to her now. I stand up and remove the coat, finishing the coffee, "Thanks for the coffee and coat, I just needed somewhere to warm up, I really need to get home."

"Bye, Jade." She waves and I smile at her, a real smile, and then rush out the door. It takes twenty minutes to figure out how to get back to my house and when I finally get there the lights are off. I don't want to go in the front door, just in case my dad is waiting for me mad or my brother is there. Nope, straight to Tori.

I climb over the fence in my backyard and up my tree onto my roof. Inside my room there's light from the computer glowing over Tori's face. She's curled up on my bed, and it looks like she's holding her phone. I tap on the window with my fingernail a few times and she finally wakes up, looking around the room in front of her.

I tap on the window again and she turns to face me, jumps out of my bed and opens the window, yanking me toward her by the front of my shirt and she kisses me. Her lips are warm, soft and taste faintly like ice cream, her tongue flicks across my bottom lip and I sigh against her mouth, reaching out and grabbing her shoulders to pull her closer.

My mind is spinning fast with bright flashes of light and no coherent thoughts except for, 'holy fucking shit Tori is _kissing me'_. She pulls away fast, hauling in a deep breath and just stares at me, lips parted, panting, still holding the front of my shirt. The song drifts through my head on its own.

_I have heard myself cry, never again. Broken down in agony just tryna find a friend. _

__Vega's still staring at me in shock, I blink and so does she. I lean forward and kiss her slowly this time, balancing precariously on the roof. My lids fall over my eyes and I just let my mind fly away as she pulls me even closer, kissing me back.

_No pain, inside, you're like perfection. _


	17. Chapter 17

**Fake It**

**Jade's a great actress, one of the best Hollywood Arts has ever seen. She acts okay, and everyone believes her, everyone that is, except for Tori. After her second break up Jade runs back to her old habits and her bad friends with bad reputations and worse habits. Jade's spiraling down a dark path with only her new found friendship with Tori to keep her a float, will Jade fall down, or will new love pull her free?**

**Rated M**

**I do not own the characters mentioned, the places mentioned, or anything else. If I did jori would be canon and it wouldn't be on Nick anymore.**

**Well here comes the Christmas music, thank you Pandora for playing a grand total of 5 songs on repeat. I appreciate it. **

**Thank you for reading!**

**Enjoy!**

_It's my house, I can tell that much. It looks the same as it always did, but then again it doesn't. Something is different. I stare up at it in confusion, chewing on my bottom lip. What the hell is different? Without finding an answer to my question I walk up the path to the front door, pausing only to unlock the door before I push it open._

_It swings inward with a loud swoosh against the floor and a creaking of the hinges. I step forward and stare around. It's dark inside, since its dusk outside. To my right I can see the kitchen, clean and neat as always. To my left is the hallway that leads to my dads office, his bedroom and the guest room. _

_I look ahead of me, the stairs. I leave the door open and walk forward, feet moving slow, kicking up dust. When I reach the top of the stairs I turn and look behind me, there is no more houses. The stairs go down two steps and then pitch black nothing. Up here there is dim moon light bathing the hallway._

_I look left toward my room and the guest room, then right to James' room. A light is spilling out from below the door to Tommy's room, my stomach twists as my feet carry me down the hall, my hand hovers above the doorknob for a long time before I finally grab it and throw the door open._

_When I step through the room transforms into Sikowitz's class. He's standing on the stage teaching with a huge grin on his face. Everyone is laughing; nobody seems to have noticed me. My eyes scan the room. Robbie is sitting in his usual seat close to the stage and the window, Cat is sitting beside him, leaning against Andre, her fingers threaded through his. Sinjin is behind Robbie, sitting with Berf mocking Sikowitz. Beck is beside him, his hand laced with someone I can really see, they're hidden behind Andre. _

_I walk forward a few steps, just to see, but Sikowitz fills in the blank for me, "Tori, would you come up here and Andre, you too." And the hand in Beck's pulls away as Tori bounces toward the stage joyfully, Andre following behind him. They each take a script and look down at it. Tori's face scrunches up._

"_This is Jade's play." She whispers, her voice sounding frightened, "we-I can't. Not her play."_

"_Come on, Tor, it's not that bad. You'll be alright. I know you didn't like her that much, but it's a good play." Cat says helpfully, smiling up at Tori. Tori sighs and chews on her lip before pushing her fingers through her hair and muttering fine._

"_I'm right here!" I yell, nobody looks at me or makes an indication they've heard me. I walk over to the chair Tori previously filled and sat down, Tori started reading a play, in Chinese, and after a few minutes she gives up and tosses the script to the ground._

"_I can't do it. I hate her too much." And she stomps over to her seat and sits down. The room swirls around me, swallowing me as my stomach twists painfully and my heart shatters in my chest. I land on the floor of my bedroom, my head smacks my dresser and the back of my head hurts._

_I turn to stand up and come face to face with a large chest. I look up and see Tommy standing above me laughing manically. My hearts in my throat and my body is trembling. He steps toward me and all of the sudden the door bursts open and Ryder's rushing in, running into Tommy and sending them both flying out the window. In his wake he left a red cup on the floor. _

_I stared at it longingly. "One drink, one drink to end it all." A voice whispers, "or no drink, to live life and see what there is to have." My eyes zero in on the cup and I stand up slowly, my legs shaking. I bend down to pick it up, looking down into the amber liquid. I draw my arm back and chuck it out the window, screaming loudly._

I sit up in my bed with a jolt. I place my hand over my frantic heart and breathe slowly, trying to calm down. I draw my knees up to my chest and rest my head on them, breathing out my mouth and in my nose. When that doesn't help me calm down I throw my covers off of my body, pull on a pair of pajama pants and a sweat shirt and crawl out onto my roof, laying back to stare up at the stars.

My heart is still beating faster then hummingbirds wings but it slowly coming down. My eyes trace the bright lights of the stars, making pictures that aren't really there and finding constellations through my tree. I'm staring at one star particularly hard when something blocks my vision, a tiny black speck. I sit up slightly and reach out, a baby spider lands on my finger and halts its motion, freezing to asses the situation. I rest my finger against the roofs tiles and it crawls away into the night.

I'm wide awake now I realize sadly, its 3 in the morning, two days after my mom was kicked out. The house has been awkwardly quiet. Tori had been ignoring me, save for the ten minute conversation we had when I'd finally broken down and begged her to tell me what was wrong.

"_You drive me crazy." _She wouldn't say anymore on the subject, at least not anything that meant anything important. She was confused, she wasn't sure, she didn't know if she wanted this. I was confused, I wasn't sure, and I didn't know if I wanted this, or so I told her. I wanted this. I truly did. I wanted her. I wanted a chance at an us, because I realize Tori's my own enigma. She's the puzzle I'll never solve. She intrigues me, but somewhere along the way I tripped up and I'm falling.

I sigh and lean back on my roof, "I've been driving for an hour, just talking to the rain. You say I've been driving you crazy and its keeping you away." I mumble under my breath, "so just give me one good reason, tell me why I should stay, 'cause I don't wanna waste another moment in saying things we never meant to say."

I start to sing a little louder now, I didn't wake anyone up when I screamed, singing isn't going to do any harm, "And I take it just a little bit, I hold my breath and count to ten, I I've been waiting for a chance to let you in. If I just breathe, let it fill the space between I'll know everything is alright. Breathe. Every little piece of me you'll see, everything is alright if I just breathe."

"Well it's all so overrated, in not saying how you feel, so you end up watching chances fade and wondering what's real." A new voice joins in, and I nearly tumble off my roof when I see Tori sitting on the roof outside the room that housed my extra clothing.

"And I give you just a little time I wonder if you realize I've been waiting til I see it in your eyes." I sing in response, turning away from her with a soft sigh.

"If I just breathe, let it fill the space between, I'll know everything is alright, breathe, every little piece of me, you'll see everything is alright, if I just breathe." She stops singing but I keep going, "so I whisper in the dark, hoping you hear me, do you hear me?"

"What are you doing up at three in the morning?" she asks me.

"Couldn't sleep." I lie, "what about you?"

"Bad dream." She replies, picking at the knee of her pajama pants. I bite down on my lip and watch her. She's staring down at her feet, picking at the same spot on her knee and chewing on her lip.

"You okay?" I finally ask. This gets her to look up at me and I can see her eyes are glazed over with tears and she manages to shake her head. I frown and crawl back into my window, stretching slowly before I walk out of my room and into the other room, walking over to the window and offering my hand to Tori. I pull her inside and wrap my arms around her back. She covers her face with her hands and leans against my shoulder crying.

I rub soothing circles on her back while she cries, and continue to do so once we walk back into her room and she lies down, now done crying. I turn to leave, figuring she wouldn't really want me around anymore, but she grabs my wrist, "please stay." She whispers. I turn around and look down at her. She tugs on my arm as if she thinks that would make me stay.

I take a few small steps toward her bed and sit down on the edge of it. She takes the opportunity to wrap her arms around my torso and pull me down beside her. She's asleep twenty minutes later, snoring softly. Her arms are tucked under her head which is resting on my shoulder. My left arm is around her back and my right on her shoulder. I stare up at the ceiling blankly, my eyes burning with tears I furiously wipe at each time they begin to roll down my cheeks.

I'm not sure why I'm crying, I've been doing it a lot lately. My emotions bounce around, I'll be perfectly happy one second and crying the next. I hated it. But maybe this time it was because I was lying in Tori's bed holding her while she slept and the only thing rolling through my head is that she wants me to comfort her but not to kiss her. It makes my heart ache, but I know for a fact no matter what happens if she needs me to hold her while she sleeps I will.

I don't understand how Vega ever did this for me, not holding me in my sleep and shit like that, but being nice to me, helping me, even if I was a complete gank to her. It's no wonder she says I drive her crazy; I drive myself crazy, too. I look over at her clock. Its three thirty now. December 10th. Ten more days until Tori's birthday.

She'll be 18 then, and free to go wherever she wants. She could go live with her sister now, if she wanted. Would she? I knew she had to leave eventually, but it was nice having her around, my brother was off at friends houses most of the time and my dads always on business trips, but Tori always comes back to my house, she always makes sure I know she's home too.

Her dad stopped coming by, or at least I hadn't seen him. I'd been looking, too. I closed my eyes in a vain attempt to sleep but my brain kept going and going in a never ending circle from thoughts of Tori to school and back around again.

I had so much studying I needed to do if I wanted to pass, I really needed to clean up my room, and get my hair cut. I needed to shop for Tori's Christmas gift, I needed to get Tori's birthday gift. I sighed and opened my eyes again, staring at the ceiling. My eyes went to the clock, it was 5 am now. Tori was still peacefully asleep. Lucky her.

I shifted slightly, rolling my shoulders until my back popped, and then I shifted my legs and kicked the sheets Vega had pulled up my body. I pulled the rest of them back up around her. She groaned and shifted slightly, one of her arms stretching across my stomach, she settled back down after that.

Six came next, followed by 7 and finally 8 when my brother finally slammed through the halls, "Daddy!" it startled me and Vega jumped too, nearly knocking me off of her bed. At the last second her grip around me tightened and she held me close to her on the bed.

"Sorry." She said sheepishly, her cheeks turning the faintest shade of pink. I shrugged, my shoulders popped again. She shifted back on the bed, pulling me farther away from the edge and then she let go of my waist, "uh, thanks…" she said next, her voice barely above a whisper.

"Yeah, you're welcome." Silence falls around us and I chew on the inside of my lip. When she doesn't say anything I swing my legs out of her bed and stand up, "I guess I'll leave now. See you later…" my feet move toward her door slowly, I'm waiting for her to stop me, but when I step out the door she still hasn't said anything so I walk down the hall into my room.

I kick the door shut behind me and flop down uselessly on my bed. I want to sleep but I know that will never happen so instead I get up and pull on a pair of jeans and a tank top and a long sleeved black shirt. When I go down downstairs James is sitting up at the counter swinging his legs happily. My dad was standing at the oven cooking pancakes.

"Sit." He commands, pointing a spatula at a chair beside my brother, "Tori! Can you come down here?" I hear her feet thump down the stairs and she's entering the kitchen seconds later, "sit, sit." He points at the chair on the other side of James and turns his back to us.

Tori gives me a questioning look and I make a face, I don't have a damn clue what he wants from us, "do you like anything special in your pancakes Tori?" he asks, she replies no, "Jade, chocolate chips and blueberries still?"

"Ew." James and Tori chorus.

"Yes sir." I reply cheerfully, slipping from my stool to get four glasses. I fill them each up with milk and set one in front of Tori, James and on the counter for my dad before taking my own to my seat.

Soon my dad plops pancakes down in front of all of us and leans against the counter across from us eating his own pancakes-blueberry and chocolate chip as well. We eat in silence for the first ten minutes and then my dad finally set his fork down on his empty plate and looked up at us.

"I have the rest of the month off and the first week of January." He tells us, looking at me, "and this house is looking a little pathetic, so we're going to decorate. I know you kids have things you'd rather be doing, but it's a big job to do all by myself, and I know your not my kid, Tori, but I'd really like it if you helped out."

"Sure, I love decorating for the holidays and I've got nothing to do today." James quickly agrees to help too and then they're all looking at me expectantly, though I'm not sure what they're actually hoping for. I always turn this down. I hate decorating. But we also haven't done anything as a family in a long time. I sigh and my brother leans over and hugs me hard.

"This is going to be so great! Mom never let me decorate, where are the decorations? Can we go get them now?" I finish up my pancakes, "Come on!"

"Fine, but you and accident prone get to stay down here; I'll go up and get them." So the four of us head upstairs and I pass boxes down to my dad who passes them to Tori who hands them to James to take downstairs. When we're done there are five boxes and once we finally go through them all we end up needing new string lights and a Christmas tree.

"Okay, I'll follow you in my truck." I tell my dad, standing up from where I was kneeling by the boxes. I dusted my jeans off and looked around, "sound like a plan?"

"Yeah, I'll go get my keys. James get dressed." James dashes up the stairs really fast, his door not fully closing behind him. I nudge a box aside with my foot so it's out of my way and I went upstairs. I yanked on some socks and shove my feet into combat boots and took my time lacing them up, once I was done I grabbed my leather jacket and shrugged it on. I grabbed my wallet and shoved it into my back pocket, shoved my pearPhone into my pocket and then grabbed my truck keys.

When I got downstairs James was bouncing excitedly, ready to leave. I followed the three of them out to the garage and got into the drivers seat of my little red truck. My dad opened the garage door slowly started to back out. It was only when I turned to see if the coast was clear for me to back out that I noticed Tori was sitting in my passenger seat.

I back out of the driveway and follow my dad down the road. Tori leans forward and turns on the radio, an upbeat Katy Perry song filled my car. Not soon after Vega's voice also joined it, I didn't really mind hearing Vega's voice but the song was turned up far to loud. I leaned forward and turned it down, but she kept singing.

"You chewed me up and spit me out, like I was poison in your mouth. You took my light, you drained me down, but that was then and this is now, now look at me." I sped up a little to make it through the light behind my dad, "this is the part of me, that you've never gonna ever take away from me, no."

I turned her out as she continued to sing, focusing and tailing my dad, I had no clue where he was going. He pulled into some hardware stores parking lot where they had a tent set up where they were selling trees. I followed the three of them into the tent and stared at the trees with a bored expression.

James is dragging our dad and Tori around looking for the 'perfect' tree. I stand around looking at the same tree for twenty minutes before my dad is coming back with someone hauling a tree. After we buy the tree we shove it onto the bed of my truck. My dad and brother went inside to get Christmas tree lights and house lights while Tori and I went home to set up the tree.

The ride had no obnoxious radio playing in the background. Tori's fingers tapping on her pearPhone was the only noise in the car and that was okay with me, my eyes stayed trained on the road in front of me until I got to the house. I pulled into the drive way, got the tree out of the bed of the truck and haul it up the sidewalk and into my house. I manage to get the tree stand on it and Tori fluffs it out while I go and get water. The air around us seems awkward; she avoids looking at my eyes-well anywhere in my general direction.

Maybe it's just because she's been taught the feelings are wrong, so she's ignoring me. Or maybe she got worried and didn't know what over came her and it was a mistake, but she's too nice to say anything. I shake my head as I walk into the living room and bend down to pour water into the basin. After I do that I turn on Pandora and tap on a random radio station before I head upstairs, kick off my boots and shrug of my jacket. I drape it over the back of my chair, pull my hair up and go back downstairs where Tori is sitting in front of a box pulling out boxes of ornaments.

"I'm going to go get the ladder." I grunt, she nods and I head out to the garage. The ladder is hanging up just out of my reach so I drag over a stool, boost myself up on it and grab it. The thing comes off faster then I expected and I yank it back behind my head and tip, nearly tumbling off the stool. My heart jumped into my throat as the ladder clattered to the ground and I caught myself on the handle bars of a bike.

Feet came pounding through the kitchen and the door sprang open, "what the hell happened? Are you alright?" she hovers in the doorway, not making any move to come closer. I straighten my back and brush the fallen strands of hair from my face.

"I'm fine." I reply, bending to pick up the ladder, "lets go inside and get everything sorted out." When I got inside I found Tori changed the station to Christmas music and my ears felt like they were starting to bleed. I hate Christmas music. "Fuck holly jolly everything." I grumbled, putting the ladder up by the staircase. Twenty minutes, and some holiday flavored coffee, later my dad and brother returned.

Dad set some bags down and took the rest of them back to his office, tell tale sign he went shopping for gifts, when he came back he was in a pair of jeans and a white t-shirt. It was odd to see my dad like this, but inside I was grinning. It'd been a long time since I had a family Christmas.

Dad and I took charge of the Christmas lights while James and Tori sang. Let me tell you, hearing my brother yell the words off key to Sleigh Ride is a sound Tori's video will never let me forget. Dad and I stopped stringing up lights and just watched as he danced around like a chicken with his head cut off proudly belting out incorrect words to the song.

"You better watch out, you better not cry." Tori began singing afterwards, dancing with James, "you better not pout I'm telling you why, Santa Claus is coming to town." She spun around with a joyful smile on her face.

I shook my head, a grin plastered on my face as I helped dad adjust the string lights, "he's make a list, he's checking it twice, gunna find out who's naughty." She sends me a pointed look and I grin at her, "or nice."

She takes James' hands and spins him around a few times, still singing along merrily. I'm up on the ladder now, trying to get the top of the lights around when she's finally finished and a new song comes on.

"No, no!" I yell. Dad laughs heartily, "come on noooo!"

"Rudolph the red nosed reindeer had very shiny nose, and if you ever saw him, you would even say it glows. All of the other reindeer used to laugh and call him names. They never poor Rudolph join in any reindeer games!" he belted out.

This song was used to torture me on multiple occasions after he and mom had too much eggnog. I could never really stand to listen to Christmas music, my parents insisted on blasting it the first to the thirtieth. Until New Year came along it was Christmas music. I unconsciously blocked out the rest of my dads song, finally placing the last bit of the string of lights. I hastily made my way off the ladder.

I stood back and looked up at the tree and decided I did a great job on the lights so I left it up to Tori and James to decorate most of the tree while I checked the hooks on the bobbles.

"They just played this stupid song." I grunted when Holly Jolly Christmas started again.

"Different singer." Tori pointed out.

"I don't care." I retorted.

"Somebody waits for you, kiss her once for me." Dad chimes in from where he's sorting out the lights for the outside of the house and the yard, he got up and changed the song anyways, "Oh there's no place like home for the holidays!" he sang joyfully.

My eyes instantly flicked to Tori, she was swaying her hips to the beat, but her face had lost a hint of that joy for the holidays. She really couldn't go home for the holidays. She only had Trina for the holidays. Her father was a nutcase, her mother abandoned her. I wonder what Trina was up to. I mindlessly hooked ornaments, trying to figure a way to get my hands on Tori's phone to get Trina's number.

"Jade!" I looked up in the direction my name was called. James was snapping his fingers in my face, "I said I want the ornament. It's got to be in a special place." I glanced down at the one in my hand. It was a special one, made just for people. This one said my name on it.

"Okay." I passed it over and now tore through the box until I found the one that had Tommy's name on it. I slid it into my pocket and continued to fix the ornaments. My actions when unnoticed by my dad and brother, but I wasn't sure-and I didn't care-if Tori noticed.

Eventually I got up and helped decorate the rest of the tree and while Tori and James transformed the living room I went with my dad to help him do the roof and front yard. We hardly talked, only asking for more lights, if this looked okay there or not. Once we were done we stood back and looked at our job happily and then I followed my dad inside.

"Tori, why don't you and James go check out the front yard?" James rushes out before I make it through the door but Tori and I enter the doorway together.

"Mistletoe!" James bellows gleefully, Tori and I look up and, yes, there is mistletoe hanging above our heads. I glanced at my dad who was unsuccessfully trying to mask the laughter on his face, which he gave up and turned his back on us to hide, and then over to James who was just grinning as he admired a light reindeer.

I sigh and cup Tori's cheek, lightly pecking her on the lips before I stepped through the door to admire the rest of the living room. Tori stood in the doorway for a few minutes and then stepped outside with James to look at the yard. Our living room now had all of those battery or plug powered figurines. A Santa, an angel, the whole cast of Winnie the Pooh, a frog dressed as Santa and a little reindeer that sang some Christmas song years ago that now vibrated a lot and fell off whatever it was sitting on.

The house looked nice, I had to admit, and a smile came on my face at the sight of it, "I want to have a Christmas card this year, Jade." My dad says, "you're grandparents would like it, and your aunt."

"Blehk." Was my dignified response, "I'm going to go up to my room and change into something more comfortable and then I'll make us all dinner." I marched up the stairs and peeled the jeans off my legs, exchanging them for a pair of sweats and a stained shirt. After checking my phone and texted Cat back that we didn't need to turn in a study guide for math I went downstairs and into the kitchen, pulling the rolling door shut to have some privacy and silence from the damn Christmas music.


	18. Chapter 18

**Fake It**

**Jade's a great actress, one of the best Hollywood Arts has ever seen. She acts okay, and everyone believes her, everyone that is, except for Tori. After her second break up Jade runs back to her old habits and her bad friends with bad reputations and worse habits. Jade's spiraling down a dark path with only her new found friendship with Tori to keep her a float, will Jade fall down, or will new love pull her free?**

**Rated M**

**I do not own the characters mentioned, the places mentioned, or anything else. If I did jori would be canon and it wouldn't be on Nick anymore.**

**New Chapter, I hope you like it. **

This morning I had given up on sitting around bored waiting for entertainment to come my way and gotten dressed early to go wander around town and try to shop. So far I'd managed to find my dads gift, one more gift for James and Tori's birthday present, a purple belt with a mustache buckle. I was aimlessly wandering down the street still trying to figure out Tori's Christmas gift when I heard a lot of yelling coming from one of the stores in the strip mall.

When I finally found the source it was Silverstone's Music Store. Miss Silverstone was standing at the counter, her face red with anger and her fists balled up on the counter. Her eyes were squeezed shut and a very angry man stormed out the door, nearly running into me.

"Watch where your going bitch." He said in passing, storming his way down the sidewalk.

"Fuck off." I called after him, catching the door before it swung shut, "is this a bad time?" I asked, sticking my head inside. Miss Silverstone attempted to mask her anger but failed quite miserably. I stepped through the door and let it shut behind me, soft music played over the speaker system.

"Hello Jade, you look better." She comments, running her hands down her blouse to erase the wrinkles that were not actually there, "and it's a fine time. Just had an employee quit is all." She waves her hand around like its no big deal.

"Well that always sucks." I tell her, walking over to the counter and leaning on it, "thanks again, for before." She nods and smiles at me about to say something when the phone rang. She hastily picked it up and made a motion for me to wander around. I set my bags beside the counter and walked through the store. There were shelves and shelves of music books, CD's, videos. Walls lined with instruments and at least four pianos and a whole row of keyboards.

The place smelled old, but in a pleasant way. The lights weren't too harsh and it just had a calming atmosphere to it. I circled the place a few times before my feet finally stopped beside a dark colored piano. I turned my head to Miss Silverstone; she was off the phone now and watching me with a dissecting gaze.

"Do you still play?" she inquires.

"More recently, yes." I respond, taking a seat at the bench. She comes and stands by me and watches. I play the first thing that comes to mind, Everything by Lifehouse. I'd learned it two nights ago when I couldn't sleep, something I hadn't been doing much recently anyways. Who needs sleep? Not me.

I don't sing along with it, instead I focus all my attention on the notes on the piano, my fingers slide across the keys in fluid motions, the sounds ringing from the piano filling the store, my ears, and my thoughts. My hands have gotten the familiar strength and muscle memory for the keys and it makes a smile pull onto my lips.

The doorbell rings, shattering my concentration and makes me pull my hands from the keys, "Jade." Andre greets with a smile, "hey Miss Silverstone, sorry I'm late." He walks past us and into the backroom, when he comes back out he's backpack-less and smiles at me.

"Andre, you work here?" I ask, "how come you never told me?"

"Do I need to tell you everything?" he retorts, "Nobody knows I work here, my grandma's not a big fan of me working, but whatever. That was good, by the way." He nods toward the piano. I roll my eyes at him.

"Do you two remember the first song I taught you?" Miss Silverstone cuts in, Andre nods and so do I, "Sit and play, Andre." She points to the piano a few feet from mine. Once Andre's sitting she counts us in.

"I heard there was a secret chord, that David played and it pleased the lord." Andre sang softly as we played, "But you don't really care for music, do you? Well it goes like this, the fourth the fifth, the baffled king composing hallelujah. Hallelujah." He takes a break in singing, coughing softly.

I picked up for him, "Your faith was strong but you needed proof, you saw her bathing on the roof, her beauty in the moonlight overthrew ya. She tied you to the kitchen chair, she broke your throat and cut your hair and from your lips she drew the hallelujah. Baby I've been here before, I've seen this room and I've walked this floor. You know I used to live alone before I knew ya. I've seen your flag on the marble arch, and love is not a victory march. It's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah."

When Andre and I had first learned this we'd just dropped the extra hallelujah's because we'd get distracted from the music, "there was a time when you let me know what's really going on below, but now you never show that to me, do you? But remember when I moved in you and the holy dove was moving too, and every breath we drew was hallelujah."

Thankfully when we were little this song seemed completely innocent to us, but very complicated for us to grasp, for some reason. "Maybe there's a God above all I've ever learned from love was how to shoot somebody who outdrew you. And it's not a cry that you hear at night, it's not somebody who's seen the light it's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah." We finished up the song with silence and I stopped playing while Andre started in on a new song.

"That's an interesting piece Andre."

"It's a friend's song from her album, I'm trying to help her finish up but this song…" he plays through it three times before I pick up on what he's talking about, "It just sounds so off."

"Try this." I place my hands on what I guess to be the right keys and play the song over, changing from a higher pitch to lower with the same note. Andre copies the change and nods, playing it again to commit it to memory, "so how many more songs do you and Vega have to do?"

"One, just this one, actually. But it's taking forever because she's so obsessed with it being perfect and she's driving me nuts with her showcase performance. Sometimes it's not hard to see how she and Trina are related." Andre shook his head, "Where's Derek?"

"He quit this morning." Silverstone replied, "Jade you looking for a job?" she says it in a teasing tone but when I nod she doesn't laugh, "8 am to 2 pm, Saturday. When your going to school, 2 to 9. Is that alright?"

"Yeah, sure." I reply, "when do you want me to start?"

"We've got from the 18th to third of the year off. So how about after new years, the fourth?" she offers, "its eight bucks an hour, involves cleaning the store, the instruments, keeping the music in order, taking stock, customer service."

"Sounds easy." I replied, my fingers finding the piano keys again. My fingers instinctively knew what they needed to do, even though I hadn't played this song in years. For me the piano was like riding a bike, once you learn you never really forget.

"Isn't that Nocturne? E Flat major?" Andre asked, I nodded my head slowly, "I always forget you were taught classical piano, too. You always refused to play it."

I shrug my shoulders; I'd never really liked to play classical music simply because my parents wanted it. But I loved the sound of it and playing it was fun. I usually only played these pieces at practice and when my parents weren't around. As I finished the piece my fingers itched to play another.

"Beethoven's Sonata 14." Andre suggested. When I didn't start right away he began to play, my hands moved into position and I counted myself in. When the door opened Silverstone gestured for us to continue, so we did. She was busy helping the customer out and we played through that piece, and while Andre tried to come up with another I played Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star and the Harry Potter theme.

And then out of nowhere Andre started playing Piano Man, "it's nine o'clock on a Saturday, and the regular crowd shuffles in." I sing softly, I don't know the piano or I'd play along, but I did love to sing it, "there's an old man sitting next to me, making love to his tonic and gin."

"He says son can you play me a memory? I'm not really sure how it goes, but it's sad and its sweet and I knew it complete when I wore a younger mans." Andre filled in the la-di-di-da's, "sing us a song you're the piano man, sing us a song tonight. Well we're all in the mood for a melody and you got us feeling alright."

I can see the man waving the notes with his fingers and swaying slightly to the music and I know it's not bothering him, I realized I'd missed a line, "he says Bill I believe this is killing me! As the smile ran away from his face, well I'm sure I could be a big movie star, if I could get out of this place."

"Now Paul is a real estate novelist who never had time for a wife, and he's talking to Davy who's still in the navy and probably will be for life. And waitress is practicing politics as a business man slowly gets stoned; yes they're sharing a drink they called loneliness but its better then drinking alone!"

"Sing us a song, you're the piano man, sing us a song tonight. Well we're all the mood for a melody and you got us feeling alright." Andre sings, "It's a pretty good crowd for a Saturday and the manger gives me a smile, 'cause he knows it's me they've been coming to see to forget about life for awhile."

"And the piano it sounds like a carnival and the microphone smells like a beer and they sit at the bar and put bread in my jar and say man what are you doing here? Sing us a song, you're the piano man! Sing us a song tonight, well we're all in the mood for a melody and you've got us feeling alright!"

Andre has to go help get a guitar down which leaves me with nothing to do so I pull out my cell phone and check my messages, I don't actually have any so I slip the phone back into my pocket, annoyed that Trina hasn't texted me back yet. Then again it might've creeped her out that I got her number. I was so busy being annoyed at Trina that I almost missed the subtle vibration of my phone in my pocket.

When I pulled it out Tori's name flashed across my phone screen, "Jade, are you busy?" I roll my eyes, "hello?"

"No, I'm not busy. What do you need?" I get up from the bench and grab my bags, waving goodbye to Miss Silverstone and Andre before I push out the door.

"Well I was going to make cookies but we're out of milk and eggs and I don't have a car." She explains, "so maybe you could come pick me up…"

"I'm already out now, what else do you need?" I start walking back toward the shop I'd parked out front of earlier. She said she didn't need anything else so I hung up and shoved the phone back into my pocket. When I reached the car I tossed my gifts into the trunk, got into the driver's seat and headed to the nearest store that sold milk and eggs. When I got to my house Tori was leaning on the counter looking down at her phone studying something.

I set the eggs and milk down in front of her, she picked her head up for a second and then looked back down at her phone, "thank you Jade, for taking time out of your day to get me some milk and eggs, I really appreciate it." I mock her as I make my way up the stairs.

"I don't talk like that!" she calls back distractedly. I shake my head, chuckling mostly to myself as I walk into my room, kicking the door shut with my foot as I dumped the gifts into my closet. I pull out my phone again, the date flashes across the screen for some reason when I unlock it. December 14th. 6 more days until Tori's birthday.

My feet carry me down the stairs and back into the kitchen where she's now attempting to make cookies, "I'm out of ideas, Vega. I have no clue what to get you for Christmas." I flop onto a bar stool, "ideas, please?"

"Find a way to pay for my tattoo?" she says it under her breath and I'm sure she didn't want me to hear it.

"I can pay for it." I shrug, "I'll make it your birthday gift."

Her head snaps up and she stops mixing the ingredients, "Jade I was joking you don't…"

"I'll pay for it, it's no big deal. When did you want to get it done? I'm going back on the twentieth. I'm sure he could do yours then, too." I offer. She stares at me; slack jawed, and blinks once slowly.

"Okay." And then she turns her attention back to the batter while I dial Phoenix's number, he picks up on the third ring.

"Hey, you remember my friend Tori, right?" I ask, he confirms, "she was hoping to make an appointment the twentieth."

"I can swing that; tell her she needs to stop by to work on the sketch with me before then. She'll be right after you." He says, I can hear him flipping through his appointment book on his desk.

"How about before me, that way she doesn't work up the nerve to back out." I grin at her and she gives me a sour look, but Phoenix agrees and I hang up after promising to drag Tori in sometimes to finalize her tattoo, "So what were you thinking about getting? That feather I saw?"

"No. I was thinking about getting a Phoenix, actually."

"Fitting." I tell her, toying with the case on my phone.

"Why's that?"

"The Egyptian phoenix was said to sing sweetly and to dazzle with its plumage of gold and scarlet and purple. And you seem to dazzle everybody." I tell her honestly, "and besides those things are Phoenix's specialty. Almost talked me into getting one. Got this instead." I point at the star on my wrist.

"What for?"

"Pissed off my mom, and it covered up a scar nicely." I told her, "Fell on a piece of glass one night, the last night, and it rose up and looked gnarly. You can't see it now though." She leaned over to inspect my wrist and then ran her thumb over it. Goosebumps rose on my arms and I shivered when her cool finger ran over the bumpy scar before my arm jerked back involuntarily.

"Me and you are a mess." Tori whispers, laughing softly as she turned back to her batter. I agreed silently, resting my folded arms on the counter and sitting my chin on them to watch her cook.

"My mom used to make cookies with us." I tell her, "Chocolate chunk, Tommy would always eat the batter at the end. He'd never share. I always got mad at him for that."

"Trina used to beg my mom for those tubs of premade cookie dough and then eat it before we could cook them and then she'd tell mom I did it." Tori shook her head as if clearing the memory from her mind, "I really hate everything right now."

"Me too." I whisper, "Except you. You I don't hate."

Tori looks up from the batter again a small smile on her face, "I don't hate you either." And she turns back to the batter and her hair falls around her face, blocking her from my eyes.

"I'm sorry about the kiss, if it made you uncomfortable around me. If you didn't mean it-could you just…tell me so we can put it behind us?" I ask, she whips her head up so fast I'm surprised she didn't crack it.

"I'm not uncomfortable around you." She stops mixing, "I'm just uncomfortable with everything right now, and it's hard. It's Christmas and I'm living with a girl who for all I knew hated me three months ago who I want to kiss every time I see her. I don't have a family to go home to; I don't have a mom anymore. I'm going crazy."

She says it in such a calm manor, "Crazy people don't know they're crazy, and they certainly don't admit it. You're not crazy, your just stressed." I stand up and walk around the counter, holding my arms out to her in a silent offer of a hug. She steps into my arms and wraps her around my back, pressing her face into my shoulder as my arms close around her back. I lean against the counter now that she's putting her full weight on me. I can feel hot tears seeping into my shirt and her body is shaking as she cries.

"I'm sorry." I whisper, kissing the top of her head before resting my cheek on it. Her grip on me tightens and she lets out a sob, crying harder against my shoulder. We stay like this for ten minutes before Tori calms down and pulls away from me, wiping her face with the back of her hand.

Her eyes are red and blotchy from crying and she has snot running from her nose, she looks rather pitiful and I just want to pull her back against me and hug her until she's not sad anymore because I just can't seem to see her look like that. But then a small smile pushes onto her lips and she steps away from me, turning on the sink. She washes her hands, her face and dries them with a paper towel.

"So you want to kiss me every time you see me, huh?" I tease, she laughs and bites her bottom lip, blushing slightly, "don't worry Vega, I have that effect on everyone."

She raised an eyebrow at me and stepped toward closer, leaving a small gap between us. She put her hands on my hips and closed the small gap with a step closer and her lips met mine in a soft, slow, lingering kiss. She pulled away slightly, her forehead still resting on mine, "Yeah well, I can't blame anyone for wanting to do that. It's great."

I cup her chin with my hand and pull her lips back to mine, wrapping my free arm around her back and pulling her closer to me. My heart is jumping for joy in my chest and my stomach is tangled in nervous knots but I don't care because all I know are those two feelings and how soft, warm and amazing it feels to be holding Vega like this.

"Ehem." Tori pulled away from me enough to spot my dad and roll her lips between her teeth embarrassed. Her forehead was still resting against mine and she opened her eyes to look at me and the biggest smile forces onto my lips.

"Sorry dad." He rolls his eyes and throws his hands in the air, shaking his head as he leaves the kitchen. Tori's head drops to my shoulder and she starts laugh, her arms go around my back.

"That is so embarrassing." Tori whispers against my neck, "I can't believe he walked in. No I can't believe he didn't freak out, if that was my dad…."

"He's not your dad, and your dad wont be anywhere near you ever again if I have it my way." I tell her, she smiles at me and I feel my heart melting and I don't know why but now I'm blushing.

"That's so cute." She kisses my cheek and finally pulls away from me, "I give up on these damn cookies." She dumps the batter in the sink and rinses the bowl out.

"We can go pick up premade cookie batter tomorrow and you can try again." I offer, "Let's go watch a movie or something. I'm freaking tired of all this standing and wandering around and shit."

Tori shut the water off and dried her hands, "Alright, but I get to pick the movie." She took off running for the stairs as the words left her mouth and I scrambled to keep up with her, going as far as to grab her around the waist and pull her off of her feet after we got up the stairs. I set her gently behind me and then burst into the movie room, unfortunately James was inside already, watching Balto.

"Hi guys, you can watch Balto with me if you want!" he said, never taking his eyes off of the screen. Tori stepped around me, entering the room and dropping down into a bean bag beside my brother.

"I win." I rolled my eyes and sat down beside her, leaning over and kissing her quick.

"Nope, I won." I sling my arm around her shoulder and settle in to watch the stupid movie, although I have to admit I'd seen it about two dozen times, at least. My favorite character was Boris and I could quote all of his lines. So I sat and watched the movie, whispering them under my breath. It made Tori chuckle each time, so I continued to do so through the whole movie.

"I want a dog." James proclaimed toward the end of the movie, "a dog like Jenna!"

"Not gunna happen, ever." I tell him.

"Why not?"

"Because I said so." I stick my tongue out at him.

"I'll get one when I'm all big and grown up and you can't tell me what to do!" He gets up and stomps his way out of the room. I laugh at the miniature but Tori looks annoyed at me.

"What? I was just teasing." She made a face that clearly said, 'yeah right', "Its not like I was being serious, he knows that." she keeps staring, "what do you want me to do? Buy him a damn dog? No, no Tori."

"Awh come on, the kid loves animals. I saw him helping out an injured squirrel in the road the other day. Maybe you should talk to your dad about it." She suggests. I glare at her in annoyance but realize I probably will be going to talk to my dad later. I'd been distracted thinking about it I hadn't realized Tori started a new movie. It was some lifetime movie; I hated those things with a passion.

Tori had her arms wrapped around my waist though, leaving me no choice but to sit there. Because her arms were way stronger then me and there was nothing I could be but sit there and watch the movie. Nothing else I could do. Except to put my arms around her and watch the really stupid movie.

I didn't mind one bit.


	19. Chapter 19

**Fake It**

**Jade's a great actress, one of the best Hollywood Arts has ever seen. She acts okay, and everyone believes her, everyone that is, except for Tori. After her second break up Jade runs back to her old habits and her bad friends with bad reputations and worse habits. Jade's spiraling down a dark path with only her new found friendship with Tori to keep her a float, will Jade fall down, or will new love pull her free?**

**Rated M**

**I do not own the characters mentioned, the places mentioned, or anything else. If I did jori would be canon and it wouldn't be on Nick anymore.**

**Fluffy fluff fluff.**

**Also, you guys are all so super amazing. I really appreciate/love/adore all of you for reading and for reviewing and I'm so happy all of you like this story. So enjoy a really quick update because you guys are amazing! **

"Come on! Vega! Get up!" I called, slamming my fists on Tori's door, "up, up, up! Vega wake up!" I'd been doing this for the past 5 minutes, but I wasn't getting more then a groan in response.

"Go away!" she yelled finally, "It's nine in the morning, what do you even want!"

"Get up! Up!" I pound my fist on the door so she doesn't realize I'm picking the lock. I don't hear any movement so I know she's still lying in her bed blissfully pretending to be asleep. I glare at the door until I hear the lock pop and I walk in, much to her displeasure.

As I predicted she's laying in her bed, tangled in her sheets with her back to the door, "go away Jade." She commands. I laugh at her and walk to the bed, dropping onto it behind her and wrapping my arms around her back, "Jade come on…" she rolls over, probably intent on kicking me out of her bed.

But I lean down and kiss her forehead, "happy birthday, Vega. Get up, lots of fun things to do today. You're stuck with me." She makes a face that I used to think meant she was annoyed but now I know it means she wishes she could be annoyed, "get dressed, I'm taking you out to breakfast."

I roll out of her bed and walk toward the door, pausing in the door way to watch her crawl out of her bed. She runs her fingers through her hair and runs her hand down her face before she stands and walks toward her closet, shoving the door closed in my face. I smile and head down to my room.

She opens her door and I watch her walk into the bathroom, a few minutes later the radio in there turns on blasting Hollaback Girl. I push my door closed to block out the obnoxious song, unsuccessfully, and head to my closet to get dressed.

I drag on a pair of jeans and change into a tank top, a long sleeved shirt and grab a pair of socks, my combat boots and my leather jacket and go sit on my bed to put them on. I slip on my jacket and fix the sleeves of my shirt before smoothing out my hair. I adjust one of the purple strands in my hair that's not curling the right way, check my makeup in the mirror and fill my pockets with my wallet, keys, phone and iPod. I grab my kindle before I walk out the door.

"I'll be right down Jade!" I hear Tori call from her room; I shrug my shoulders and head down the stairs in a hurry. My brother was sitting at the counter drinking a glass of milk with a plate of pancakes sitting in front of him.

"Morning Jade." He greets with a mouthful of his syrupy breakfast. I wrinkle my nose in mock disgust and 'ew' softly as I lean against the counter to wait for Tori to make her grand entrance. By now I'm sure she's trying to drag this out as long as possible because she thinks I'm going to do something horrible because she's taking a long time to get ready for breakfast.

"Vega! We don't have all day! McDonalds stops serving breakfast at 11!" I yell up the stairs, her feet are pounding down the stairs five minutes later and she's glaring at me annoyed.

Her hair is pulled half back and the rest of it is curling down and around her shoulders and she's wearing a long sleeved purple shirt, a pair of tight jeans and some converse, so she's not too dressed up, maybe she was just moving slow, "come on. Tell dad we left." James shrugs his shoulders and ignores me while I drag Tori out to my car.

I put my kindle in the glove box, open the garage door and then start the car. Instantly Tori grab's the radio controls and turns on her favorite station. Today I don't complain, I simply back out of the driveway and listen to her singing along with Katy Perry. When we pull into the parking lot she stares up at the place and looks over at me.

"This place is so expensive, I couldn't let you…" I close my door to cut off her words and go around her side of the car and open the door, "Jade come on."

"Out birthday girl. Everyone else is already here. Come on." She sighs and gets out of the car, fixing her shirt before we walk up to the front door. I hold the door open for her and an elderly couple before I step in, it's really hot in here and smells like Christmas.

I scan the room quickly and spot Cat's bright red hair across the room, I point at her and then to us so the hostess didn't think I was just walking in. We sat down in the two chairs between Cat and Andre, everyone wishing Tori a happy birthday.

"I ordered your drinks already." Cat said, "I got Tori iced tea because she always drinks that and I got you black coffee because I didn't know if you wanted one of their specials."

"Thanks Cat." Tori says quickly, turning to give the girl a smile before returning to the conversation she was having with Andre. I kicked Beck's leg under the table gently to get his attention and mouthed 'where's Trina?'.

"She'll be here in five minutes." He said aloud, knowing Tori would assume Jen was the one we were talking about, since the girl was supposed to be here tonight, her vacation having been cut short due to her parents getting sick.

"She better be." I mutter under my breath, opening my menu pointlessly, I already knew what I wanted.

"I had a dream last night that she showed up here and tried to gouge your eyes out scissors and then you cut her hair off and she melted." Cat commented cheerfully, Beck looked mildly horrified, Tori shocked and I just laughed, "like Mother Gothel in Tangled!"

"That must've been a great dream." I chuckle, Cat beams and nods.

"Drinks!" Cat cheered as the waitress wandered over to our table. She passed out the cups to everyone and set a coffee cup in front of me, pouring piping hot black coffee into it. She set creamer and sugar in front of me and turned to set the tray on an empty table with the coffee pot.

"Is everyone ready to order?" Yeses went around the table and she took out her order pad. We started at Cat and worked our away around the table and when we got to Beck he was on his phone.

"I'll have the bacon and cheese omelet, rye toast, extra bacon and she'll have an iced tea to drink, scrambled eggs, plain pancakes, home fries well done and a side of sausage." He tucked his phone away turning to me, "there was a car accident a few blocks away and she's stuck trying to get around it."

"Okay, that'll be out soon and I'll bring her drink once she gets here." She smiles kindly, picks the tray and coffee pot back up and walks away. I dump creamer into the coffee until it's a light milky brown color and add three sugars before I take a sip. It burns my lips and tongue but it tastes wonderful so I keep drinking.

I hear Trina's voice before I see her, just like everyone else at the table; we all turn to the front entrance where Trina is trying to explain she's here with us, "Trina! Over here." The hostess apologizes to Trina as the girl stalks toward us haughtily, first walking over and hugging her sister before sitting down beside Beck.

Trina is actually tolerable today, not acting like the stuck up annoying version of her we're all used to. It's shocking for me to say that, but it's true. She really didn't talk much and when she did it wasn't about her, she even held a conversation with Cat-something most people can't do.

After breakfast we all pack into cars, Andre opting to ride with me now that Tori was going with her sister. Beck was stuck with Cat and Robbie alone, much to his displeasure. Andre turned on the radio but kept it down and it wasn't the annoying pop crap Vega was always listening to.

"So, what's going on with you and Tori?" he asks conversationally, staring at the car in front of us where Tori and Trina were. All of us were heading to a carnival, Cat's idea, because Tori had once mentioned that she liked carnivals. I really just wanted to go home and be warm, but I knew I couldn't.

"Nothing is going on with us."

"That is a load of crap, I haven't seen her that happy since the day of the showcase where she was let in." Andre observed, "Something happened and since you're the only one she's been around besides me lately, and I know it's not me, what happened?"

"Nothing." I said, sticking to my original defense.

"Did you kiss her? Are you two secretly dating behind my back? Are you two sleeping together? What is it?" He continues on, watching my face. I keep it blank, staring at Trina's break lights, "you did kiss her."

"Andre, shut up."

"Admit it."

"Be quiet."

"Jade."

"I'll kick you out of my car."

"Was it nice?"

"Yes." He grinned triumphantly as I rolled to a stop at the light, glaring ahead while Andre did a happy dance because he'd figured it out. I tapped my finger on the steering wheel waiting for the light to change.

"When?"

"You're such a girl."

"I'm happy for my best friends, Jade. It's great to see you happy." He puts his hand on my shoulder and squeezes it, I roll my eyes, "now come on, I know you want to tell someone, and the only other friend you have is Tori."

"Remember how I told you I ran out of the house when my dad kicked my mom out?" he nods, "she kissed me when I finally made it back home from Silverstone's. She ignored me afterwards, only saying that I drove her crazy and then yesterday she was making cookies and I was mocking her, because I wanted someone to talk to and she just…"

"Blurted she wanted to kiss you every time she saw you? She told me that part. She neglected to mention you'd kissed before that." I shrug, what Vega told him was her business.

"She kissed me again after that." I told him, "and then forced me to watch a horrible lifetime movie with her."

"She kiss you more after that, too?" He teases.

"Maybe." I followed Trina's car into the parking lot of the fair grounds, "this has got to be the worst idea ever. It is so cold out here." I complained as I shut off my car. I pulled my jacket tight around me, contemplating getting my Hollywood Arts sweater out of the trunk.

"Yeah well try not to be such a sour Sally okay?" Andre said, closing the car door, "or act like you're having fun."

"I'm not that bad." I close my door and follow him up to the entrance, hand buried deep in my pockets. The breath from my mouth curled in the air in front of me and I glared at it as if that would suddenly make it warmer.

At the entrance Cat had paid for the entrance bands and we had to get them wrapped around our wrists and the woman who did mine got it stuck in the small hairs on my arm so it hurt when my jacket would make it shift on my wrist, I glared at her as I walked away with Beck.

I hadn't really meant to fall into step with him, but that's just how group things usually worked. Vega usually fell into step with Andre, Cat would bounce back and fourth between them and Robbie and when Trina was around she'd be somewhere between Beck and her sister.

Now I was walking with Beck behind the large group of our friends. It was strange to walk beside him and not have myself clinging to him or have his arm around my shoulder. Instead we were walking side by side, hands in pockets, eyes straight forward.

"You okay?" I'm met with silence so I just shrug and chew on the inside of my lip, counting down the time until I can take Tori and go get my tattoo.

"Are you and Tori dating?" the question catches me off guard and I trip up, stopping to stare at him. He stops and turns back to me, "Are you dating?" he reiterates.

"Why does it matter?" I ask, instantly defensive. Something about him always brings that side of me upfront and I don't like it, "I'm not your girlfriend and we're not really friends, so I don't know why you think you should be privy to that information."

"Jade, don't be like that it was a simple question."

"It would be a simple question if you weren't my ex." I snap, the others have noticed and stopped but their too far away to hear us. I bite my tongue hard until I can taste blood and close my eyes, "we're not dating, but like I said it's none of your business." I start to walk away.

"I just want to say, if you start dating her, don't shut her out, and don't try to act like nothings wrong. And don't try to be the person you think she wants, because it didn't work with me and it wont work with her." he squeezes my arm in a friendly manner but it aggravates me, "I just want you to be happy and I want us to be friends."

"Jade! Come on the zipper with me!" Tori yells before I can yell at Beck, "Cat screams too loud!"

"Okay." Beck lets me go and I sprint over to where Tori's joining the line. Cat is in line for another ride with Robbie and Trina and Beck and Andre wander away from us to go on the ride beside us.

"What did Beck want?" she asks, watching the only people between us and the ride climb on. We're let on next and the large arm swings down to pin us in place before the cage door is closed and ride moves another inch to let the last person on.

"He asked me if we were dating." I told her, rubbing my hands together to warm them up.

"What'd you tell him?" Tori asks.

"That is was none of his business if we were or weren't, but that we aren't dating." The ride starts to move now and I can see the people below us flipping their cages over and I grin at Tori who grins back and we rock the cage until we flip over a few times on our way down.

Tori's laughing loudly and shrieks a little when the cage does a fast flip the ride gaining speed. The bar digs into my gut and hurts a little when we're laying face to the front of the cage suspended midair for about two seconds before the cage quickly tips backwards and flips over.

When the ride finally stops my head spins and I blink a few times before I try to stand and follow Tori off of the ride. We make a beeline for the ride Beck and Andre were on, Cat and Robbie are standing near the gate while Trina is at the food stand behind us. Beck and Andre are riding the bump cars with about six other teens our age and about 5 little kids.

And they were getting their asses kicked.

Every time a little kid hit one of them we'd cheer loudly, Cat shrieking with laughter. My face hurt from laughing so much and it actually made my lungs burn, so by the time Andre and Beck got off of the ride I was coughing trying to calm myself down along with Tori who was gasping for breath and Cat who was trying not to laugh when Andre and Beck glared at us.

"Let's get on the cliffhanger!" Cat suggests, Tori agrees and then were following Cat into a rather short line of people. I get stuck settled between Tori and Cat, already preparing for the hearing loss I'm going to receive; behind us are Beck and Andre while Trina and Robbie sit this one out, something about their stomachs not being able to handle the ride.

The ride starts off slowly, taking us in a lazy circle before it lifts and we go a bit faster, shooting straight into the air. Cat squeals and Tori shrieks with laughter, I fight the urge to cover my ears and just laugh when it happens again before we're lowered.

We go on about 10 other rides before we start repeating rides, and then we decides we've had enough and opt to wander around to all the game booths. Tori wants to play nearly every game and I manage to talk her out of most of them except for the rope ladder, which she insists on trying. Two dollars for two tries and we all get to watch her fall flat on her ass twice.

"But I really want that tiger." She grumbles, stepping away from the game. She looks really bummed and I stare at the game runner and frown, yanking my jacket off.

"Hold this." I toss it at her and hand the man two dollars, stepping up to the ladder.

"You sure you wanna try?" he jokes, "It's not as easy as it looks."

"I took ballet for three years, I have impeccable balance." I tell him before I grab the ladder. I make sure to keep my weight forward and climb slowly, keeping my movements deliberate. I get a bit of rope burn on my hands but I eventually reach the top and ring that stupid bell, and then I let myself flip off of the ladder and land on the mats below me with a smug smile, "she wants the purple tiger."

The carnie gives me an impressed, if not a little disappointed, look and then gets me the tiger. I toss it to Tori who passes it to Andre before hugging me tightly and thanking me about six or seven times before snatching the tiger back and hugging it tight to her chest like it was a new puppy.

"You've got a really nice girlfriend." The carnie tells Tori.

"I wish she was." Tori tells him before we walk away, I know my cheeks are burning but I don't say anything, only realizing when I see her back that she'd put on my jacket. I narrow my eyes at her back for a minute before realizing I don't care.

Tori and Cat stop to play that water game, leaving Andre, Beck and I standing near a balloon dart game. The carnie is calling at us, trying to convince us to play the game. I ignore him for the most part until Andre and Beck wander over, Tori looses the game to a small girl and takes her tiger to leave, Cat sticks around and plays another round with Trina and Robbie.

"I can do this." Beck says with confidence. I laugh at him and he narrows his eyes at me, smacking his two dollars on the table. I take a step back to watch, laughing when his darts bounce off of the under inflated balloons. All six of them. He tries again. I laugh really loud, "You think you can do better?"

"Oh Beck." I sigh, stepping up beside him and patting his arm, "I was a carnival kid, my parents brought me to them all of the time to make up for their shitty parenting skills. I can do better." I put two dollars on the counter and take my darts, shoving him out of my way. I check the tips of the darts; they're pretty dull but not too bad. I aim for a bright purple balloon up near the top and pull my arm back, hurling the dart at it. It pops loudly.

The carnie walks over and plucks the thing down, "medium. If you can hit another you can have a pick of a big item." I glance around at all of the stuffed toys hanging around. I see a large red dog with a black spot over its eye.

"Is that big or extra large?" I ask him, pointing to it.

"Extra large, you'll need to hit a big item." He says, his eyes flick to the left side of the area not to secretly so I nod and motion for him to move. I check the tip of the dart and throw it as hard as I threw the scissors Sinjin busted. The red balloon popped and the dart stuck into the prize card, I could see the three letter word.

I grin happily as the man hands me my prize and wave at him before turning and sticking my tongue out at Beck before I watch Cat try out the test your strength game. She picked it up and swung it around before picking it up and slamming it down on the pad. The thing shot up to muscle man, two steps away from Thor.

"Remind me not to make Cat want to hit me." I say.

"It hurts." Tori comments, watching Cat skip toward us snuggling a small purple cat with a large head. I'd forgotten Cat punched Tori before, for making out with her boyfriend, "what time is it?"

"Almost noon, we should get to the tattoo shop." Tori hugs everyone goodbye and I wave before we walk out to my car. We toss our prizes into the trunk and then get into the car, Tori laughing at the look of the carnies face when Cat hit that thing. I suppose he wasn't expecting the little airhead to be able to hit the thing that hard.

"Jade?"

"Hmm?"

"What's the best place to get a tattoo? Like the least likely to stretch and get distorted. I mean its going to be there forever…" she trails over, nerves already starting to eat at her.

I sigh and turn down the radio, "the back of your shoulder won't stretch to bad. Hips could get all weird if you get pregnant, rib cages hurt, tops of your feet hurt. Wrist doesn't really hurt that bad. I've heard side tattoos are good. But it's really up to you."

"I want to be able to see it, if it's on my back that's kind of hard. Why get a tattoo if I can't see it easily." She sighs softly, leaning her head back against the seat.

"Well then hips, legs, the side of your body, ribs." I suggest, "And maybe discuss it with Phoenix." She shuts up after that and just stares forward.

By the time we pull into the shop Tori's started rambling again, her nerves setting in. I reach over after I shut the car off and kiss her cheek softly, "come on, it doesn't hurt that bad." I step out of the car and walk up to the door, waiting for her to get out of the car. It only takes her two minutes. I watch her take a deep breath, shake her head, shrug her shoulders and then she steps out of the car and heads inside in front of me.

"Ah, you're early. Good." He motions us toward the back room to have us confirm are tattoos and then he sends me to his office, claiming Tori didn't want me seeing hers until it was done so I went out to my car, got my kindle, walked to the coffee shop next door to get a large latte and sat down behind his desk to read on my kindle.


	20. Chapter 20

**Fake It**

**Jade's a great actress, one of the best Hollywood Arts has ever seen. She acts okay, and everyone believes her, everyone that is, except for Tori. After her second break up Jade runs back to her old habits and her bad friends with bad reputations and worse habits. Jade's spiraling down a dark path with only her new found friendship with Tori to keep her a float, will Jade fall down, or will new love pull her free?**

**Rated M**

**I do not own the characters mentioned, the places mentioned, or anything else. If I did jori would be canon and it wouldn't be on Nick anymore.**

_**READ THIS! *****Warning: deep talking about Jade and Tori's brother/father. I will bold the sentence before it starts and the sentence where it ends if anyone wants to skip over it.*******_

Phoenix had been a close friend of my dads when they were in school, and it was my dad who introduced me to him when I mentioned wanting to get a tattoo. Phoenix was pretty cool, and as a fifteen year old I was pretty hard to impress. I must've been in his office for hours upon hours for three days straight until I'd settled on the star. He hadn't asked about the star while my dad was around, but I'd told me what happened while he was doing the tattoo.

My mom had stopped talk to us shortly after I'd gotten the tattoo and Tommy ran away with her before she cut us out of her life, and during that time Phoenix was stopping by often to make sure I was okay, getting food and that Tommy didn't pop up out of the blue one day and kill me like he'd threatened to do before.

I never really left my room for the first year. I'd just sit on my bed and stare out the window for hours at a time before Andre came over one day and dragged me out of the house to an audition for Hollywood Arts. That same day Sikowitz saw me waiting outside for Andre to finish up and heard me singing. He sat down beside me and talked to me for about ten minutes before he asked if I'd like to audition since someone called in last minute and canceled. He told me he was supposed to go by a list but since I was already here, why not?

I got the acceptance call three days later, Andre got his two days before me and we went out to get ice cream to celebrate. On my way home Ryder had caught up with me, and I was desperate for any guy but my best friend to pay attention to me so we started talking and he led me back to his house, after Andre left, and we got high and he kissed me, the rest kind of tumbled downhill from there.

Weed led to drinking, drinking led to partying, and partying led to drugs, which led to pure bliss. I couldn't remember most of my freshman year. Right before final exams started I met Beck, and Ryder had been blowing me off lately so I was more then happy to throw myself at him.

He was nice, took me out on a real date and kissed my cheek when his mom dropped us off at him. We went on three more dates before he asked me to be his girlfriend and it took two more weeks to him kiss me, under the tree in my backyard. Three days later he found out about my drug use and helped me get clean. Sometimes I think if Ryder had started talking to me again I wouldn't have gotten clean.

It took me three months to feel normal again and that's when I started closing myself off, if I started to think about things I'd play video games, drink on my own, listen to music or run to Beck's. He would usually talk to me a lot, hold me if I started to cry. We never really did anything more then kissing an the occasional heavy shirts off make out sessions.

While Beck and I were dating I stopped playing piano, stopped singing often and pretty much wandered around like a zombie until I'd go over to Beck and we'd sit and talk about nothing important. Trivial things. I'd let him in eventually, little small things after two years of dating, but he didn't let me in either. We were too busy trying not to get hurt.

I think we were each others medicine. Or glue, putting each other's hearts back together to ship off to the one we were meant to be with, to give our heart too. But mine needed a lot more fixing then Beck could provide. Mine needed someone who understood why I was the way I was.

Mine needed Tori, who slowly stitched those last pieces of my heart back together. My kindle was now lying forgotten on my stomach, my mind spun in crazy circles thinking of random things.

Like how soft Tori's hands were, but how strong they could be. The way she could be so soft spoken and still get an entire room to pay attention to her. How soulful she could sing, even if she covered it up with that pop crap. I yearned to hear that singing again.

I yearned to hold her when I ever I want, to lean over and kiss her or hold her hand in public to call her mine. But I wouldn't ever think about asking her, I just couldn't do it. I don't know why, fear of rejection maybe?

What's the worst she could do? Say no. That would crush me, and I wasn't ready to be crushed. I wasn't ready for her to feel awkward around me. I wasn't willing to risk what we have just for a possible chance to be her girl friend.

"Jade…" someone poked my arm with a pointy finger. I blinked my eyes a few times and put my feet down, "you should really sleep more." Tori jokes, "Phoenix said he's ready for you."

I stand and stretch, my back pops a few times before I walk down the hall, Tori trailing behind me. I stepped into the room and found Phoenix sitting their patiently waiting for me, "alright missy, if you so much as twitch this time I will hurt you." He jokes.

When I'd gotten my tattoo on my wrist I didn't move a muscle, I was busy reading, "keep me entertained then. I can't read a book with my arm over my head." I peel off the shirt I was wearing and set it down on the chair beside Tori and then toss my tank top over there too.

Phoenix had me hold my hands up slightly so he could apply the outline. He had me put my arms down to make sure it would still look okay and then I had to lie on my back with my arms above my head and not move again. Tori sat beside me talking to me to help keep me entertained.

I couldn't really talk much since it was being done on my ribs so I mostly listened. The tattoo didn't hurt so bad during the outline, almost as painful as tattooing over my scar, but as soon as he started to retrace lines near the top the pain got a lot worse, going numb soon after he was done. We paused when he finished coloring the top so I could go pee and get a drink and then he set to work again.

It was 6:30 by the time he put the gauze over my tattoo and ran up our total, 550 dollars. I paid for the tattoos and crawled into the car, handing Tori the keys so she could drive us home. By the time we got home it was 7 and my dad and brother were in the kitchen chowing down on pizza.

"You girls hungry? Nice dog." I shrug and walk past him to drop my things in the doorway so I could take them upstairs, "cute tiger Tori."

"Jade won it for me on the ladder climb." She says happily, setting it on top of my stuff.

"That's nice of her; your pizza is in the oven to keep warm. Happy birthday Tori." She smiles and thanks him, sitting down next to my brother while I get our pizza, putting one slice on each plate and setting them down in front of her. I also grabbed a two liter of mountain dew and set it between us.

"So how's Phoenix?" my dad asks, he's sitting on the other side of James.

"He's doing well; he looks like a freaking tank now. He's bulked up a lot. He joked about the next time you come in." My dad laughed and shook his head as if to say that'll never happen.

"Who's Phoenix?" James asks while taking a vicious bite of his pizza.

"My old friend from college, tattoo artist who gave your sister her tattoos." My dad explains, "When do we get to see it?"

"When I go wash it off after I eat. I'm too hungry to do so right now." And that ends the conversation as I inhale three slices of pizza and chug half of the bottle before Vega finishes it off.

I head upstairs before she does and peel the gauze off slowly, balling it up and tossing it in the garbage before rinsing it off and washing it carefully with soap. After I pat it dry I put some A&D ointment on it and head across the hall to change into a shirt that has the sides cut out of it so the tattoo can breathe.

I stare at the tattoo in the mirror on the back of my door. Its right under my bra wire on the left side of my body. The treble clef was nearly all black with the heart shape hues of the rainbow, and the piano keys looked perfect, almost as if they were shinning. Above the clef were the words "one good thing about music" and below "when it hits you, you feel no pain" I smiled at it happily, doing a slightly excited dance, just like I had when I got my wrist done.

When I step out of my room Tori's heading into the bathroom, but she pauses to look at me, "You remember the cleaning instructions right?" she nods and then pushes the door closed in my face. I head back downstairs to eat another piece of pizza, but before I do I let my dad and brother see my tattoo. My brother says he likes the heart and my dad says he likes the piano keys.

"I didn't know you were still interested in piano, but that explains why the piano room was unlocked." He observes.

"We have a piano room?" James asked confused.

"Yes." My dad and I chorus, "Your sister is a piano genius. What's the word for that again?"

"Prodigy." Tori chimes in, slipping onto the stool beside me. She picks up another slice of pizza as well and eats it quickly. It only now occurs to me neither of us ate anything after breakfast, which was 9 hours ago.

"Lemme see." I demand.

Tori sighs and sets her pizza down, "don't make fun of it or I will stop speaking to you."

"Cross my heart." I mock; she glares at me before standing up and pulling up her shirt and turning to me, managing to cover herself with her shirt so that James and my dad could see it. The bird was just beside her breast, the top half black with wings spread to fly, the tails a rainbow of color that wrapped the curve of her breast and a flame sat in the center where the heart was. Beneath the wings were the words "Make It Shine" in pretty black cursive.

"Can I see?" James asks. Tori turns slightly so my dad and brother can see it and then hops back onto her stool to eat her pizza, "its cool, but what are the words from?"

"The song I sang in the big show case that got me into Hollywood Arts." She explains, and then she slides out of her seat to fill her glass with water, taking mine as well without me asking, "Let me see yours." I sigh and turn in my chair, lifting my arm and pulling the shirt aside so she can see it.

"It looks great." She says, I shrug my shoulders and drink my water greedily. James and my dad excuse themselves to return to their movie in his room and after a quick clean up Tori and I head upstairs to the movie room, she turns on the TV and starts some stupid lifetime movie while I curl up in my bean bag and close my eyes.

I hadn't meant to fall asleep, I honestly didn't even feel tired, but I did and now Tori was prodding my side to wake me up. When I finally pick my head up and open my eyes she's leaning over me, looking like she just woke up herself, "We fell asleep." She whispers and then she stands up and I do too. I head straight for the bathroom to pee and then wash my hands and brush my teeth and when I come out Tori is sitting on my bed.

"I had a bad dream." She explains, as if I didn't already know.

"Do you want to sleep in here? You should probably put something warmer on. A baggy t-shirt will do."

"I'll be back." She leaves the room slowly and the next time I see her she's heading into the bathroom. I pull off my tank top and put on a baggy t-shirt and grab a pair of pants to sleep in. Tori comes back in a few minutes later and crawls into my bed before I shut the light of and lay on my side next to her. 10 minutes later we're both still awake, "Jade?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks for all of this. Everything. I know you don't really have a reason to be so nice to me but I really appreciate it and-never mind, just thanks." She shifts slightly so she's laying more on her right side then left and pushes herself closer to me.

"Hey Vega?" I say 5 minutes later.

"What?" she asks, she sounds like she's been waiting for me to speak up.

I take a deep breath before I speak, "I do have a reason to be nice."

She's silent for a few minutes, "what is it?"

"I like you. We're friends." I tell her, putting my arm around her waist and leaning closer to her, "So how much did the tattoo hurt?" I tease. She groans and puts her arms behind her head with a sigh.

"I was ready to cry, Phoenix says its because it was so close to the bone but I could feel it like vibrating my bone and it felt like he was taking a mini hammer to it at some points but it was so worth it. How did you not even wince?"

"I have a strong pain threshold. It hurt pretty bad near the top of my ribs, and when he did the color at the top I wanted to scream. But remember I like pain." I poke her arm with my nail near her arm pit and she jumps with a squeak.

"You suck Jade."

"Yeah, I get that all the time. But you're stuck with me. Don't even plan on getting rid of me anytime soon." **She looks up at me and rolls onto to her stomach while I roll onto my back, "what's up Vega? Time to get all deep and personal?"**

"I just don't really want to go to sleep. I keep having this dream where my dad comes in here and kills you and takes me away and I just get so fucking terrified. I walk down here every time just to check on you. I hate that stupid dream and I can't make it go away, unless I'm sleeping near you." She looks down at her hands away from me.

"When my brother, Tommy, first left I kept dreaming that he came back and killed every one of my friends and then threw me out a window, but I'd never die. He'd just come down and drag me by hair down the road through shards of glass."

"That sounds horrifying." She sits up slightly, pulling my arm into her hands, "was this really an accidental cut?"

"Yeah, I punched a mirror after I tried to tell my mom what Tommy was doing to me and slipped and fell when he yelled and came down the hall angry, and I caught myself on the glass." She ran her thumb over it.

"Did he ever do anything…more?"

"Anything more then beat me? No. He'd just hit me around a lot, broke a few bones, threw my down the stairs once. But that's as far as he went." I pause, looking down at her face, "did your dad…?"

"No. He threatened to have someone come 'show me what I'm supposed to want' but I got a fake boyfriend before that. The worst he's ever done is threw me through the glass back doors." She was massaging my hand with her fingers and I closed mine around her small hand, squeezing it softly.

"**Me and you are quite a pair." I tell her. **Tori chuckles softly, squeezing my hand back. I pick her hand up and kiss the back of it. She grins up at me in a way I would call shy and cunningly at the same time. It was a look only she could pull off, "you know if you need to you could stay in here every night."

"I wouldn't want to be a bother." She says instantly, always looking out for everyone else before herself.

"You wouldn't be, I hate sleeping alone anyways." She smiles up at me and then looks away again. I can tell she wants to ask me something, but I have no clue what, "besides then I can have that amazing tiger in my room."

She laughs loudly more of a deep, hearty laugh then I'm used to hearing from her., "His name is Rajah." She tells me.

"So does that make you Princess Jasmine?" I tease, she looks up at me and nods, grinning, "So who's going to be your Aladdin?"

"I don't know, you can pull of a man voice pretty damn good." She murmurs, "And we can get you an Abu."

"My Abu can be my dog. I hate monkeys. They throw poop." I shudder at the thought, "so now I've got Abu and you've got Rajah. Andre can be Genie. Now, do I have to take you on a magic carpet ride so you fall for me?"

"I hate heights." I consider this and nod slowly before rolling out of my bed, "stay here for a second." I glance at the clock in passing, its only 9 pm. I tiptoe down to James' room, him and dad are watching a movie and don't even notice me opening and closing the door.

I walk next door to Tommy's room and drag his mattress down the hall and set it by the stairs, "hey, Vega come're. I got something close enough to a flying carpet ride." I cover her eyes and I lead her down to the mattress, "don't worry I've done this before. Perfectly safe."

I uncover her eyes once she's standing on the mattress and I pull her down next to me, "Jade, are you sur-." Her words cut off as she squeals when I shove the mattress and we sail down the stairs, skidding to a halt at the door, "holy crap. Let's do that again!"

We drag the mattress back up and Tori sits in front of me and I shove us off again, wrapping my arm around her waist to ensure she doesn't slide off. We hit the door and tumble forward, me landing on top of her back, "sorry."

"What are you girls doing?" My dad calls, he's standing by James door looking down at us.

"Mattress surfing!" Tori calls back, my dad rolls his eyes at us and walks back into James' room, "you have a pretty cool dad."

"He's getting better." I shrug, "wanna go again?" she grins at me and we slide down the stairs four more times before getting to lazy to have to drag it up again so I toss it back into the room and we head down to my room again, my hoping for sleep to finally come, but it doesn't and Tori is laying beside me still awake, her fingernail tracing patterns on the palm of my hand.

All that's been racing through my mind since she said she wanted me to be her Aladdin-pushing past how stupid and childish it made me feel- was what she said to that carnie. 'I wish she was'. Did she really want that?

"Did you really mean what you said today?" I ask before I can stop myself, she turns her head to look at me confused, "at the carnival. About me being your girlfriend."

She stops tracing patterns on my hand but doesn't look away, and after two minutes her fingernail resumes its pattern, "yeah, I meant it." She looks away then, eyes staring at the ceiling.

She meant it, this amazingly wonderful person who has seen the worst possible sides of me and been the brunt of a lot of my anger, jealousy and over all bullying still sees something in me that she wants to be my girlfriend.

My heartbeat is irregular in my chest, and it feels like my chest is exploding with joy. The girl had certainly turned me into a sap; that was for sure. She'd gotten me to get along with my dad, decorate for Christmas, watching fucking kid movies and lifetime movies and I just _did _it. She's brought out a side of me I questioned the existence of for years without trying, and I'm not faking it, for once.

"Why would you want me to be your girlfriend anyways?" I ask, a small part of me doubting she had a logical reason. I heard her sigh and she pulled her hand away from me, rolling onto her stomach so her face was level with mine.

"Because underneath that entire fake Jade front, the mean girl who pretends she hates me and said we weren't friends is this great amazing girl with so many hidden amazing things that just draw me in." she leans closer, "and that means I can kiss you whenever I want and nobody else can."

She leans forward and gives me a quick kiss before pulling away, "what happens when I run out of surprises?" I ask her.

"I don't think that will ever happen, but I'll still want you. I won't dump you just because I know everything. That's the best part, when you know someone so well and you just know _everything _and there are no secrets, that is the best." She says, "now quit being a Debbie Downer and say you'll be my girlfriend."

"I am _not _a Debbie Downer." I put my hand on the back of her neck and pull her closer to me, kissing her with a passion that just seems to take over my mind. She grabs my shirt and pulls me until I'm sitting up and then laying over her, kissing her with everything I feel, and I realize every time I look at her, I want to kiss her too.

"You're mine now, Vega." I whisper against her lips. She smiles and whispers okay before her hand tangles in my hair and she's kissing me eagerly as if she just can't get enough and I'm kissing her back just the same, because I can't get enough of her.

**Too much fluff? I feel like it was but I was just having a fluff, weird, childish kind of day and I have those often when I get upset or talk about things that make me sad, so I hope you enjoyed the chapter! **


	21. Chapter 21

**Fake It**

**Jade's a great actress, one of the best Hollywood Arts has ever seen. She acts okay, and everyone believes her, everyone that is, except for Tori. After her second break up Jade runs back to her old habits and her bad friends with bad reputations and worse habits. Jade's spiraling down a dark path with only her new found friendship with Tori to keep her a float, will Jade fall down, or will new love pull her free?**

**Rated M**

**I do not own the characters mentioned, the places mentioned, or anything else. If I did jori would be canon and it wouldn't be on Nick anymore.**

**More Fluff with some interesting stuff at the end. Or well, almost interesting. **

**I honestly didn't know what to do with this chapter, I wasn't ready to do Christmas yet, because the end of this chapter had to happen first and I got the idea from a friend, so I hope you guys like it. **

I'd heard Tori get home at least ten minutes ago, but since she'd gone Christmas shopping I figured I'd give her at least twenty minutes, but I was impatient and I found myself getting up and walking down the hallway to Tori's room. Her door was open all the way and she was sitting on her bed with her pearbook in her lap.

I rapped my knuckles on the door a few times before she looked up and smiled at me, my heart stuttered in my chest, "Morning, sleepy head." She teases, "come here." She scoots over on her bed and pats the space next to her. When I'm sitting she hands me a set of head phones, no explanation.

I slide them over my ears and look at her expectantly. When nothing happens at first I'm ready to ask her what the hell she wanted and then soft piano notes filled my ears. I closed my eyes and leaned back against her pillows. It's slow and flows like a stream, calming.

Tori's voice soon joins it, soft and light, slow. None of that pop garbage. I smile as my ears focus more on the piano in the background, until one lyric seems to stick in my head, _Sometimes forever isn't too long. Sometimes my emotions are too strong for a song. _It's the very last line because then it just fills up with that soft beautiful piano and then silence.

"That last line was interesting." I tell her, "The song was beautiful. Is that going on your mini album?"

"No. I finished that." she says, "This was just a fun cheer myself up thing. But you really liked it?"

"I really liked it." I confirm, pulling the headphones off and handing them back to her, "when do I get to hear your album?"

"When I become famous you can buy a copy." She suggests in a haughty, yet joking, tone. She bursts into laughter seconds after she says it and I can't help but laugh at her.

"For someone who gets all the leads in the school plays you sure break character quick." I taunt. She scowls at me and I grin back at her, "but seriously when can I hear it?"

"When I get a grade on it." She replies shrugging one shoulder, "I already turned it in, ten points extra credit for having it in before Christmas."

"You don't need ten extra points, it will get an A." I tell her confidently. She gives me a strange look and shakes her head, "what is that about?" I ask, sitting up slightly, "you don't think you will?"

"He gave Andre a D on his Christmas song last year and it was amazing." Tori reminds me, but Anthony isn't that big of an idiot, Andre's song was written on paper and not preformed, so he couldn't hear its potential. Hopefully Tori's songs were good, but since she refused to let me hear it I guess I wouldn't really be much help.

"If he gives you a D I'll tie him to a chair and make him watch you perform your songs over again until he realizes what a wazz bag he was being." I tell her hoping to make her feel better, it makes her semi-sad face break into a happy smile and I do a small victory cheer in my mind, "That's a much better look on you."

Tori rolls her eyes at me and pushes her laptop away from her, "I need to go put A&D on my tattoo." She scoots past me and disappears; after she's walked out I realize I need to, too. My eyes flick to her computer before I get up. I know her albums electronic versions are on that computer. I could easily open them and listen.

I push off of her bed and walk down the hall, hoping to scare Tori, but she spots me in the mirror as I approach the door and grins at me as if she knew what I was going to do. She moves over so I can step into the bathroom and continues to apply the thin layer of ointment to her hip.

I roll my shirt up and carefully wash my tattoo and pat it dry with a cloth before I apply a thin layer to my tattoo as well, "Thank you for leaving my computer alone." She says, meeting my gaze in the bathroom mirror. Her eyes tell me she's serious, and would have been royally pissed if I had.

"Yeah, yeah. It's only because you're my girlfriend and I know it would upset you." I wash my hands off, "but as soon as you get the grade I'm listening to it and I don't care if you got an F, you have to let me listen."

"Yeah, yeah." She mocks, washing her own hands now, "if I let you hear my album you have to play your piano songs for me." she gives me a pointed look in the mirror.

"One day I _will_ kill Andre." I mutter, stepping out of the bathroom, "I'll play you songs, not mine. They're not finished. And they're shit and nobody needs to hear anything that crappy."

"Liar." She calls after me, I shrug my shoulders and reach my arms up over my head until my shoulders pop, that feeling is so pleasant and relaxing, I can't think of a better feeling. Well maybe I can, but not at the moment. I stop in the doorway to my room and watch Tori drying her hands on the towel hanging by the door, a smile on my face.

Before either of us can say anything the downstairs phone rings, which is rare, so I skip down the steps in a rush to get to the kitchen. I pull the phone off of its mount and press it to my ear, "West Residence."

"Jade? It's Lane." My face twists into confusion and Tori raises an eyebrow at me in question.

"What's up, Lane?" I ask, spinning to watch Tori enter the kitchen.

"I don't really know how to say this, and please don't get to mad-I have no control over this- you failed the semester of script writing which means you can't take second semester, even if you get an A on the exam you wont be able to pass. We've got a list of classes you are eligible to take and you can retake the script writing next year."

I puff my cheeks up and blow out the air to calm the small bits of anger shooting through my veins, it is my fault and I can't yell at Lane for that-no matter how much I want to, "what are my other options?" I practically choke out the words.

"Song writing, choir, art 3D and drawing." He says, he sounds relived that I didn't flip out on him. I run my hands through my hair and lean against the wall, "can I make the class up over the summer?"

"Yes, you'll need to talk that over with Jane. Which class would you like to be placed?"

"I guess choir." I frown, I really hate that class, but I'd have to take it second semester in my senior year anyways, why not just get it over with now, "am I going to have to perform at the show case?"

"You'll need to talk that over with Mr. Anderson." Lane says, "I'll email him and tell him to email you, but chances are you'll have to because it's half of the grade for the first six weeks."

"Oh joy." Lane quickly says goodbye and hangs up. I slam the phone down on the counter loud enough to make Tori jump in surprise and nearly spill her drink, "I failed script writing for the semester so I can't take second semester until I pass first and now I'm in choir." I explain.

She walks over to me silently and puts her arm across my shoulders in a half hug, kissing my temple, "it won't be so bad. We'll have another class together." I smile despite my anger at myself and stand straighter, "besides I'll get to hear you sing. Bonus for me."

"You are quite the opportunist, Vega." I taunt, she stays in the kitchen, probably looking for food, while I head up to my room. I think she knows I really don't want to be around anyone right now.

I grab my phone and open my music folder and hit play before I crawl out onto my roof and just sit there in the cold. I was pissed at myself for failing the _one _class that meant _everything _to me. Angry hot tears burned my eyes and rolled down my face. I was such a fuck up.

I had to chuckle lightly when Cher's "Haven't Seen the Last of Me" came on, but I quickly switched the song and rested my head on my knees, cursing myself with every word I could come up with before I just gave up and sat there, staring at the branches of the tree hitting the roof.

"Well I'm not paralyzed but I seem to be struck by you." Tori's voice breaks through my staring contest with the tree branch and I realize she's singing along with the music and not being a complete weirdo, "coffee?" she waves the cup tauntingly and pulls it back into my room when I reach for it, forcing me to come back inside.

"Very sneaky Vega, getting what you want with out having to sacrifice yourself to climbing onto the scary roof." I take the cup from her and she just shrugs her shoulder and smirks before dropping down onto my bed, "how long was I out there?" I ask, feeling my fingers slowly unthawing.

"About thirty minutes if you crawled straight out there when you left the kitchen." I nod to confirm I had and sit down in my computer chair, "are you okay?"

"Yeah, just realizing how big of a fuck up I am." I reply, sipping from the cup, "I just can't believe, of all classes, I failed script writing. I've never failed a class before." I pull my feet up onto the chair and rest my arms on my knees, resting my coffee cup precariously in the space between my knees.

I hear the bed squeak and assume Tori got up, it's confirmed when she takes the cup from me and sets it on the desk before laying her arms on my knees and propping her chin on her folded up hands. She gives me a small smile that I can't help but return, "you'll make it up in summer school. You went through a rough patch, and that happens. And you'll blame yourself for awhile, but you know what, it's in the past. It happened, and now you've just got to look forward and fix it."

I smile at her, and she smiles back, one hand reaching forward so her thumb can brush a tear I hadn't known I'd cried away from my cheek. I grab her hand and hold it against my cheek, liking the warm feeling and the smell of the perfume on her wrist wrapping around me. She doesn't say anything and I close my eyes for a few minutes and we just sit there.

Eventually I let her hand go and she tucks it back under her chin, watching me with analyzing eyes, "what?" I ask softly, she shrugs and stands up, moving back over to my bed and sitting down to gaze out the window.

"What made you not like heights?" I ask.

"Fear of falling to the ground and going splat." She replied, "nothing really _made _me scared of it, just my luck would be I'd tumble to my death. That's why you had to shove me off of the freaking set, I would have never jumped."

"I know, that's why I did it. I could not stand the thought of listening to you complain about being a weenie for the next month, so I killed two birds with one stone, I got to shove you off of a building and I saved myself from hearing you complain."

She turns around to give me a mock hurt expression and I just wink at her, she rolls her eyes, "what do you want to do on this Christmas Eve?" she asked, "I just want to walk around singing Christmas music. Come with me?"

"Who else is going?"

"Andre, Cat, Jen and Beck."

"Where's Robbie?" I asked, Tori shrugged, "Yeah why not." She smiles and rushes over to hug me, like it's been her plan all day to get me to go with them. She crushes my shoulders with the hug and kisses my cheek.

"Thank you, thank you! But you have to dress Chirstmas-y. No black." She wags a finger at me and I scowl at her she tips her head to the side and gives me these puppy dog eyes, I sigh, "Thank you! I'm going to change, we leave in twenty minutes!"

I get up and wander to the room beside mine where I have more clothes with color. I dig around until I find something green, it's the same top I wore to Vega's when I gave her that idea for Andre. I sling that over my shoulder and keep digging around. That's when I find a pile of Christmas sweaters and things from relatives.

The pile includes a pair of red pants and a black sweater with a snowman on it. That had to be an exception to the rule, it had a frickin' snow man on it for piss sake. I take them back into my room, pull off the shirt I'd been sleeping in and put on a bra before I tug the sweater over my head. I shimmy out of my pajama pants and pull on the red pants. I grab a pair of socks and push my feet into green converse, I mean if I'm going to look like a weirdo might as well make it fun.

"Jade?" Tori's fist raps uncertainly on my door.

"Come on in." I call back, finishing tying my shoe. She walks in and takes in my outfit, chewing on her lip, "come on, it's a Christmas sweater."

"Fine." She rolls her eyes at me. I take in her outfit. She's in a dorky white sweater with penguins, flowers and some weird pattern in grey along the collar. She's also in a pair of blue jeans and converse. I grab my pearPhone and keys and walk toward the door, "they're all waiting outside."

"Okay, lemme tell my dad we're leaving." I head down the hallway to his office and knock on the door twice before I hear him yell come in, I push the door open and lean my head in, "Vega's making me go wander the streets and fill people with cheer. We'll be back before James goes to bed."

"Alright, and do you mind helping with the Christmas lunch? I don't want to mess it up." I roll my eyes and nod still not sure why my dad wanted this Christmas to go perfect, but I wasn't in a position to argue with him, and I frankly didn't care enough. "See you girls later."

"Bye." I pulled the door shut and walked outside where Tori was standing with everyone, Cat rushed up and hugged me, complimenting my sweater before proudly showing off her Santa sweater. Jen came over next and hugged me tight, muttering something about stupid sweaters.

Jen and Beck were in similar sweaters, his red while hers was white and they had snow flakes on them. Andre was in a green sweater covered in a Christmas light design. We were all a sight to see, "lets go!" Cat grabbed Andre's arm and dragged him off, leaving the rest of us in my front yard.

"Come on!" Tori agreed, snatching my hand up before I could protest and she dragged me along behind her. I don't get a chance to protest as I stumble along behind her until we fall in behind Andre and Cat.

We actually just end up walking around singing random songs for almost three hours. It's actually kind of, dare I say it_, fun_. I'm walking around behind Tori and Cat who are talking about something and I hear 'pooh-pooh' and instantly have a song in my head.

I walk down the road with my hands in my pockets humming You'll See, "its what we used to dream about think twice before you pooh-pooh it, you'll see boys." I sing aloud before going back to humming, I know the rest of the soundtrack is going to run through my head before the nights over.

"Got a light?" Cat sings to me just after I finish humming One Song Glory.

"I know you, you're, you're shivering." I sing back, she laughs and sings by herself. Eventually she dances ahead to catch up with Andre who'd been on the phone and I join Tori now, she slips her hand into the crook of my arm and leans against me with a huge smile on her face.

Without hesitation I lean over and give her a quick kiss before I pull my arm free and wrap it around her back, pulling her closer, "having fun, Vega?" she nods against my shoulder, her arm going around my waist as we walk down the street, "good, tomorrow is gunna be hell."

"Why do you say that?"

"Dad wants me to cook." I fake gulp, "Christmas dinner." Tori laughs at me and I smile. Somehow the group of us end up at the park and there's not really too many kids there so we all decide to play around-well everyone but me. I sit down on top of the bench, stretching my legs out in front of me and leaning back against my elbows.

I was on La Vie Boheme, stretched out on top of the park bench with my arms hanging off of the top of the table tapping my foot and singing along under my breath when I got company, "You know, singing out loud wouldn't hurt." Beck informed me, dropping down onto the seat.

"Why Dorothy and Toto went over the rainbow to blow off auntie Em. La vie boheme! Sisters? We're close. Brothers! Bisexuals, trisexuals, homo sapiens, Carcinogens, hallucinogens, men, Pee Wee Herman, German wine, turpentine, Gertrude Stein Antonioni, Bertolucci, Kurosawa, Carmina Burana." I belt out, "so what do you want Beck?"

"You look happy. That's good." He replies, "and I know I piss you off quick, so I'll make this short. I still want us to be friends, and I know you'd be perfectly fine with ignoring me, but I'd rather us try to be friends, and I'm sure everyone else would like it, too. See ya." He gets out of the bench and walks off in a blink, but he's replaced by Andre seconds later.

"To sodomy, it's between god and me, to S&M!"

"Waiter! Waiter! Waiter! Waiter!" Andre fills in I grin and him and he flashes me a smile, "so you're dating Vega now, huh?"

"Yep." I pop the 'p'.

"I love you, Jade, you're one of my best friends, but if you hurt her-."

"Save it, Andre. I know you care about Vega, and don't worry, if I hurt her I give you full permission to do whatever you see fit." He sighs and smiles at me nervously, "look, I won't hurt her on purpose, I'm not saying I _wont, _but if I do I'll beat myself up about it, too. I've done enough shit to her as it is."

"Well since we're agreed on that, _fight aids!_" I laugh at him, because he's pretty much the only other person I know who can keep track of a song in his head during a conversation. We sit silently; I'm running through I Should Tell You in my head just waiting, the pair of us silently deciding not to sing with each other.

"No way to make a living, masochism, pain, perfection, muscle spasm, chiropractors, short- careers, eating disorders!" I belt out.

"Adventure, Tedium, No Family, Boring Locations, Dark Rooms, Perfect Faces, Egos,  
>Money, Hollywood and Sleaze!" Andre sings.<p>

"Food Of Love, Emotion, Mathematics, Isolation, Rhythm, Power, Feeling, Harmony, And Heavy Competition!" Cat adds in, coming up behind Andre. We sing through the rest of the song, me laughing my ass of by the time we're done.

"We should head home." Tori says once we'd finished singing. Everyone agrees and we head back toward my house where everyone parked. I slip my hand into Tori's again and walk with Cat on my other side, singing Seasons Of Love in my head.

I start to whistle Take Me or Leave Me and Cat whistles back, "sing for us." Tori demands, releasing my hand. I glance at Cat and she nods so I take over Maureen's part, singing to Cat as I half walk half jog down the side walk in front of her, dancing through everyone.

"Baby lets have fun!" I nearly stumble over a crack in the sidewalk, but Beck and Jen grab my arms and right me again, I smile in thanks while singing. "But hey? Don't you want your girl hot? Don't fight; don't loose your head, cause every night who's in your bed? Who?"

"It wont work! I look before I leap!" Cat sings back, I fall in step beside Tori as Cat starts weaving through everyone singing at me, "Take me for what I am!" I look at Tori; as if I'm talking to her when say Maureen's lines. I dance with Cat when we sing together.

"Women, what is about them? Can't live with them or without them! Take me for what I am!" a few people actually stop to watch as disappear down the street and some give us dirty looks but none of us really care. Everyone is laugh at Cat and I at the end when Cat stalks over to Andre and turns her back on me in a huff and I slip an arm around Tori's waist.

When we finally get inside my house Goodbye Love is playing through my head, Tori waves goodbye a final time and shuts the door. James darts down the stairs as soon as I'm in the house, "Dad! They're back! Can I open a present now?"

My dad came shuffling down the hallway in a pair of Christmas pajama pants. I fight the urge to laugh at him and glance at James who is standing by the tree looking at all the gifts.

"Sure you can, punk." I wander over and look for the socks, tossing them at him, "knock yourself out."

He tears into them excitedly and frowns at me when he finds out its just socks, "that's not nice." He glares up at me and all it does it make me want to laugh because he is the least scary thing ever.

"Neither is opening presents early, off to bed so tomorrow comes quicker." He frowns, takes the socks and runs upstairs, pausing half way and coming back down. He hugs dad, me and then Tori before running upstairs.

"Goodnight girls, keep that door open. Understand?" he gives me a pointed look and I nod before we head upstairs. Tori's cheeks are pink with embarrassment and she heads straight to her room. I walk into my room, set my phone and keys on my desk and yank my jeans off. I put on a pair of shorts and pull off the bra before lying in my bed.

Tori comes back a few minutes later, changed into a pair of pants and a tank top, she crawls into my bed beside me, draping an arm over my stomach, "sing the song." she orders.

"It's sad."

"Okay."

"You don't want baggage, without lifetime guarantees, you don't want to watch me die. I just came to say goodbye love, goodbye love, came to say goodbye love. Goodbye love." I keep singing Mimi's part softly, "goodbye love, goodbye love, came to say goodbye love, goodbye, just came to say goodbye love, goodbye love, goodbye love, hello disease."

"Maybe we can watch Rent one day." Tori mumbles against my shoulder.

"Maybe." I let my eyelids fall down over my eyes. Red dots dance in front of me for a few minutes.

"Thank you for coming with me." Tori whispers, I nod at her and open my eyes again, "I really just needed some fun, it's just so close to Christmas and I can't…" she frowns and then stands up, "I need to shower, I feel gross."

"Okay." I watch her leave and wait until I hear the water turn on the go find my phone. I dial Trina's number in a rush and crawl out onto my room, sliding the window nearly shut behind me.

Just like the first time I called her, she didn't answer the phone. I sighed, I'd called her to ask about Tori's birthday and she just got so grouchy with me, I didn't really do anything, but she said she'd show up. But I'd forgotten about Christmas.

I dialed her number again, and just when I thought I was going to her voicemail she answers the phone, "just because you're dating my sister doesn't mean you can keep calling me."

"Yeah well." I reply vaguely wondering how she'd found out since as far as I knew Tori hadn't called her, "Look Trina-."

"No. Now that I'm on the topic, you hurt my little sis I'll kick your ass? You hear me? She's been through enough, she doesn't need your ganky self to hurt her even more. She seems to really like you, but I haven't decided myself if I approve, so don't fuck it up." She snaps, all in almost one breath.

"Can I talk now?"

"Ugh, _fine_." I can practically see her throwing her hands up in the air and rolling her eyes dramatically.

"We're doing Christmas dinner here, and it'd be a really nice surprise for Tori if you'd show up. She misses having her family around the holidays and yeah I should have thought about it earlier but I don't even have family and I lost my mom from my life forever ago and I didn't realize how hard this would be for her-."

"Jade?" Trina interrupts.

"Yeah?"

"You're rambling." Trina sounds almost amused and I glare at the tree and pretend it's her, "I'll come over, what time should I show up? I don't want to interrupt your little family…thing."

"Yeah it's going to be awkward enough with just us. Don't need you screwing it up." I joke, "Uhm, my brother will probably wake us up at like 8 so maybe you show up at 9 and keep Tori entertained for a bit while I work on dinner, that way you guys can have some sister time."

"Sounds good, Jade. And this is a point in your favor. Good luck." Trina hangs up after that and now I'm a little worried, because no matter how self-centered Trina is, she cares about her sister.


	22. Chapter 22

**Fake It**

**Jade's a great actress, one of the best Hollywood Arts has ever seen. She acts okay, and everyone believes her, everyone that is, except for Tori. After her second break up Jade runs back to her old habits and her bad friends with bad reputations and worse habits. Jade's spiraling down a dark path with only her new found friendship with Tori to keep her a float, will Jade fall down, or will new love pull her free?**

**Rated M**

**I do not own the characters mentioned, the places mentioned, or anything else. If I did jori would be canon and it wouldn't be on Nick anymore.**

**Not as cheerful as I'd hoped, but I hope you like it. Let me know if you do…or don't. **

Christmas had always been a sore subject for me, much like any other holiday you were supposed to spend with your family. I mean, my dad totally skipped Thanksgiving, and I honestly forgot too. Tori and my brother had been more important. Holiday's for me meant fake cards left on the table with money shoved into them and watching crappy holiday movies before crying my eyes out and screaming and cursing my whole family.

I never spent time with Beck on the holidays, or Ryder. They were the only times I always new I'd be sober. I liked torturing myself, it'd just been a fun past time for me. Why I don't know, it's just how I was. Always. Now to know that my dad and brother were here, we had a tree and gifts. Actual gifts. Family. And Tori was here, and Trina too.

Tori was like family now, it didn't matter if we broke up, I just know she'd always be apart of my family. Forever. It was strange to think in a few hours I'd be celebrating a holiday. I hadn't since I was younger then James, how do you even do holiday's? Is there a handbook? What if I mess it up?

I pull my knees up to my chest and rest my head on them, letting the cool air lash against my cheeks and sting my nose while tossing my black curls about. I closed my eyes, sighing at the bright red and yellow flashing behind my lids from staring at the sun as it entered the sky.

"Jade?" I heard Tori's voice and the squeak of that one stupid spring in my mattress. I unfolded my legs and crawled back into my room, pulling the window back down, "why are you always out there when I try to find you?"

"I'm safe up, high, nothing can touch me." I sing with a smirk. She gives me an 'are you kidding me?' look and drops back down onto my bed. Yanking the sheets back up over her, she pats the bed beside her so I crawl in next to her, lying on my side.

She rolls over, closer to me and I can smell mint on her breath, she'd gone to brush her teeth. "Expecting something Vega?" I joke, she gives me a confused stare and I lean down and kiss her lips softly, "Merry Christmas." She drapes an arm over my waist and wraps her legs through my, shivering at how cold my legs were from being outside.

"Merry Christmas." She replies, kissing me again. The kiss is slow and enticing, I cup her cheek with one hand and lean closer, she kisses me hard, pulling me close and biting my bottom lip softly before she pulls away to catch her breath and then she kisses me again with more vigor.

When I pull away to catch my breath she starts kissing my neck, since I'd tilted my head back, her teeth graze over just the right spot on my neck and I shudder, biting back a soft moan. I hear her chuckle darkly and she does it _again and again._

My eyes roll back and I have to force myself to push her away from me, she's pouting when I finally look at her, I lean in and give her one more quick kiss, "My brother will be up soon, his eyes can't witness that." I tell her, she sighs and then tucks her head against my shoulder. I slip my arm under her and pull her close, closing my eyes and leaning my chin on her head. All I smell is shampoo it's something flowery and light.

"I've got to go finish putting James' gifts under the tree; he'll be up in an hour or so." I tell her, I don't move to get up though. I don't really want to, its so warm and comfortable laying here.

"Okay." She mumbles back, it sounds like she's ready to fall back asleep. I know I am, "I can make coffee."

"Okay." My mind starts to drift back toward sleep and I snap my eyes open, "nope, we've really got to get up." I untangle our legs, pull my arms away from her and roll backwards. She groans in protest, blindly reaching out and grabbing at me, her fingers hook into my shirt and she tugs me back toward the bed.

"No." she protests.

"Come on, once we get up and put them under the tree we can go back to bed." I lie; she looks at me with narrowed eyes but swings her legs out of the bed and heads out of the room. I grab the gifts I'd hidden in my closet and silently head downstairs, placing them neatly around the tree.

In the kitchen I can hear the coffee machine spluttering to life, and when I peek through the door Tori is lying across the counter almost asleep. I chuckle and silently walk up behind her, gently running my fingers up her spine before I lean on one hip against the counter. Her whole body shivers and I resist the urge to laugh at her.

"Get me the hazelnut creamer." She demands, her eyes are closed.

I wander over to the fridge and pull out the creamer, two spoons and two coffee cups. When the coffee is done I pour us each a glass, mix it up and drop an ice cube into hers before taking mine out to the living room and plopping on the couch and propping my feet up on the table.

Tori shuffles out behind me, sitting down next to me and scoots under my arm that's around the back of the couch, she settles against my side and rests her head on my shoulder while sipping at her coffee.

A little after 7:30 my dad walks past us, eyes half open and I don't think he actually noticed us. The coffee machine splutters again and then he's shuffling back toward his room. When he comes back out he's dressed in a pair of dark jeans and a Christmas shirt.

"Morning girls. Merry Christmas." He actually leans down and kisses the top of my head before he goes into the kitchen, presumably to grab his coffee cup. Tori has finished hers now and it's sitting on the table next to mine by the time he comes back out. He sits in a chair adjacent from the couch and glances up at where James' room is, "You can come down now."

James' feet pound down the stairs and he runs over to hug dad and then hugs Tori and I before sitting down on the table, "can we have breakfast, I'm hungry." He blurts, his gifts obviously not as important to him.

"Sure." I get up and walk with him into the kitchen to get him some pancakes. I microwave them, hand him the butter and we walk back out to the living room. He sits and eats his pancakes on the floor while my eyes scan over the gifts, since I'd already been dubbed Santa three days ago.

"For dinner everyone needs to look nice." James says out of nowhere, my eyes go from gifts back to him, "I want a real Christmas dinner this year."

"Okay." My dad agrees as I say, "define nice."

"A dressy something, like they wear on those Christmas movies and stuff." He beams up at me and I glare at him but it doesn't bother him in anyway so I just give up and get off of the couch.

"Besides, Christmas picture." My dad pointed out. I gave him the same look I did every time he brought it up and then stood up.

"Where are you going?" James asks, I realize that he's nearly done with his breakfast so he'll probably want to open his gifts now.

"I'm going pee, if you don't mind, King James." I yell back as I make my way up the stairs. I go into the bathroom, pee, wash my hands and brush out my hair, all too kill time and annoy James, and then I walk into my bedroom and grab my phone, unlocking it as I walk downstairs. I have a text from Trina.

_I know this is stupid but is there like a dress code? Or do you all just sit around in your pajamas all day, cause my parents had a strict 'dress nice policy'._

I quickly text back and inform her of the new dress code, and then set my phone on the arm of the couch, "go put your dishes in the sink." James grumbles in protest but grabs the plate anyways, "Vega, if you hear a dog barking, _make noise _or you're sleeping on the floor tonight."

She just gives me this super pleased 'in your face' smile and I glare at her flopping uselessly on the floor by the couch. My dad and I had made a trip to the pound to look at the new puppies two days ago, after Vega took my brother out so he could get my dad a gift.

I'd kept it from her so she wouldn't rub it in my face that she got her way, but it was really a good gift, because James loved animals like I loved coffee, and I knew he'd take good care of it. Plus puppies are adorable, no matter what I'd say in my own defense.

When James comes back he sits in the third seat on the couch and just looks at me, as if saying 'well'. I scoot across the floor and grab a gift, a sweater my dad had gotten him, and I toss it at him carelessly.

He tears into it viciously while I dig around to find Vega's gift from me and the card from James and my dad. I hand it over to her and then find the gift from me to him and the card from Vega, and the gift from James to him. I set them on the ground beside them, pile up James' gifts in front of him and glance at the tree. There are three gifts left and they all say Jade on them.

I sit down and drag them all over to me. Ones a kind of large box, the other a smaller box that's kind of heavy and the other ones a big box that looks like a beer box. I open the smaller box, the gift from James. It's a triple pack of Starbucks coffee, a gift card and a new mug. He's too busy ripping his gifts open for me to thank, so I just open the next one, the kind of large box.

I tear the neatly done paper Vega wrapped around it away and it's a clothing box. I open it and find an envelope and a belt. The belt has piano keys on it, but it looks sort of grungy, like those pictures of old pianos that are all messed with. I fight the urge to laugh when Tori opens her box and lifts out the belt. She looks at me, holding my belt, and laughs out loud and so do it.

James and my dad look over to see what we're looking at, "Nice job girls." My dad laughs and Tori just looks over at him and smiles and says thanks for the gift card. He nods at her. I set the belt back in the box and scoot that and the coffee over and look at the last gift from my dad and I just know that's at least three boxes put together.

"Does this never get old?" I ask him, he glances over at me and just gives me an innocent questioning look while I drag the box over. It actually feels kind of heavy, so maybe I'm wrong. I tear the paper off and find the beer box I'd wondered about. I snatch the scissors off of the side table and cut the box open, where I find a bunch of newspaper nestled around another box, "seriously. Why me?"

"Because you actually don't like opening gifts." He replied, leaning back in his chair with a smirk. It makes a smile pull up onto my face because this just feels familiar, even after so long. I cut into this box and find a single black platform ankle bootie with red hearts all over it. I take it out and set it aside, pulling the box free and tossing it behind me, James is watching me amused.

I cut into the second box and find a matching shoe, glancing up at my dad curiously. They were amazing shoes, "Tori helped, I'm bad a shopping." He shrugged.

"I recall." I reply, pulling out the next box. In this I find a black off the shoulder t-shirt made of out of a light material. And when I pull that box out there's another filled with a lot of paper and a smaller box and a smaller, three layers until I get to a small box with a card on top of it.

The side up read 'so it came with a cheesy card, and I just couldn't see you liking it, but I just wanted you to know, I love you Jade, and I'm sorry for being the way I am, and I always told myself 'that's just the way we are' but it's not true and I'm sorry.'. On the other side it had a cheesy poem, 'you're truly amazing with a talent so bright. Your beauty is dazzling as a fireworks light! I love you.'

"Good call." I joke, discreetly wiping underneath my eyes where tears started to form. I pull out the tiny wrapped box beneath it to reveal a blue box, and when I open that a blue pouch. I pull open the draw strings and tip it into my hands.

A tiny silver chain pools in my hand, and attached to it is a beautiful pendant with stars incasing a dazzling multicolored gem. I stare at it for a long time before I look up at my dad from where I'm at on the floor. It's the only time he's actually gone out of his way to get me something special and I can't help the tears the form in my eyes even if I curse at them to go away.

I tear my eyes away from him and stare at it again, unable to look at him for the longest time. My heart is unsure if it's happy or crushed and it feels like its having a seizure trying to figure it out as tears pour down my cheeks.

I stand up silently and wrap my arms around him for a few seconds before heading down the hall to the guest bedroom where the puppy is, "stay here." I hear Vega saying, I spot her hopping over the mountain of paper and gift boxes between James and the hallway and she follows me into the room.

I keep my back to her, still crying, clutching the stupid thing in my hand tightly, "Hey, come here." She whispers, gently grabbing my shoulder. She spins me around with ease and puts her arms around me, I burry my face in her shoulder and wrap my arms around her and just keep crying and I want to stop, it's irrational and I shouldn't be crying and I don't want to be but here I am.

"Make it stop." I whisper.

"No." she replies, "but I'll hold you until you're ready to stop."

"I'm ready." I grunt against her shoulder.

"Obviously you're not." She replies with a chuckle, "its okay to cry, you know that, right?"

"I hate crying." I mutter her hands rub small circles on my back while the tear keep rolling down my face and I'm thankful I'm not all out sobbing. It takes me about ten minutes to stop crying and another five to stop the stray tears from falling. Tori takes the chain and puts it on me, settling the stone right in the center of my chest.

"It's beautiful." I nod carefully, slowly, hoping it doesn't knock out anymore tears, "lets get that dog out there before he decides to stop behaving and bark at us." I glance down and see the puppy, sitting in its cage, beautiful little puppy eyes watching us curiously, I can see it about to bark.

"No." I command, kneeling by the cage, her blue eyes dared me to leave her in the cage for another second, much like they had the day we picked the little red husky up from the store. I unlocked the cage and gathered the fur ball in my arms.

She licked my chin happily and wagged her tiny little tail with excitement. Tori reached out and scratched her head before opening the door for me and preceding me down the hallway. James was focused on something my dad was saying in the kitchen so I quickly walked up to him and dumped the dog on the couch beside him. She let out a loud bark and stood watch him.

"Oh my god!" He yelled, gathering the dog into his arms excitedly. Tori walked over and put her arm around my waist. James was holding the puppy up and grinning, touching his nose to hers, "does she have a name?"

"I can guess what it will be." I say under my breath while shaking my head no."

"Jenna." He declares, I grin and walk over to the tree leaving both Tori, my dad and James watching me. From the back of it I pluck a collar and I toss it gently to him, "this is so cool!" he says, looking at the orange collar in his hands.

"Merry Christmas." I shrug, scooping my phone from the couch. I had a message from Trina from five minutes ago say she'd be here in about an hour because her roommate hogged the bathroom, "go get dressed and what not." I demand. James carries Jenna upstairs and I follow Tori with my shirt and shoes in hand.

I bypass my bedroom and go into my second closet, closing the door behind me. I pull out one of the only red dresses I own. I quickly pull off the top I'm wearing and put the dress on, yanking off my shorts after and then I sit down on one of the tiny chairs and put on my new shoes. I stand up and straighten out the dress in the mirror. I decide I don't like it and pull that off and find a strapless black dress that looks better.

I walk across the hall to straighten my hair the rest of the way and add some makeup before walking downstairs. Tori is standing downstairs talking to my dad, she's in a purple dress that falls down to the back of her knees and black heels. Her hair is pulled to the back of her head and falls in curls around her head.

Dads in a suit, as usual, and his hair is combed back nicely. I walk down the stairs nearly silent; it's only when I reach the last step that my dad looks over Tori's head at me. I smile at him and Tori turns to look at me, "told you it'd be black."

"The red clashed and I wanted to wear my new shoes." I shrug, "you look amazing." I kiss her cheek and she looks at the floor embarrassed. Dad just shakes his head like I amuse him and steps back before I can stop him, he snaps a picture of us.

"Prepare." He warns.

"You're going to do this all afternoon aren't you?"

"I'll do it whenever I want." He replies with a huge grin. I roll my eyes at him and turn toward the stairs where James' door remains closed. "He takes forever to put a suit on, I don't think he knows which way is up sometimes." He walks upstairs shaking his head, camera still in his hand.

"Is he really going to do that?"

"Yep. When I was little he took the most _embarrassing _pictures ever. All day, no matter what. He has a few pictures of him and mom waking me up Christmas day and me running down stairs and eating breakfast, he's embarrassing."

"Cute." She leans over and kisses me softly and I hear that damn click and flash and James starts laughing when I spin to glare at my dad who is innocently looking at the dog in James' arms.

"De-fur and lets take the family picture." I grumble. James sets the dog down and dusts himself off before standing in front of the tree with me, dad takes a picture of us two, then with Tori, James and I, then sets up the tripod for all four of us, then the three of us, then him and James and then him and me. And after that there's a knock on the door.

"Just on time." I grin, Tori gives me a strange glance as I walk over to the door, peeking out the peephole to find Trina on the other side of the door. I unlock it and drag it open and she steps in, glances around the room and spots Tori.

Tori practically sprints across the room and throws her arms around Trina, hugging her as tight as she possible can. Trina stumbles back a few steps and nearly bumps into my while I shut the door. Then I scoop up the dog, grab James and my dad and haul them into the kitchen.

Tori and Trina are upstairs the whole time I cook lunch, I finally go up around noon and knock on the door softly, "Come in." I hear Tori say, I push the door open and peer into the room. They're sitting on her bed looking at her computer.

"Lunch time, come on." Tori sets the laptop aside, hops off of the bed and grabs Trina's wrist dragging her toward the door. I spin and head for the stairs quickly to make sure I don't over cook the ham. Dad has the dining room table-which we almost never use-set and he and James have already taken their places.

Dad at the head of the table, James to his left with a chair between them for me. I motion for Tori and Trina to sit to his right and then go get the ham from the oven and set it on the table with everything else. I take my seat beside my dad and take the first slice of ham and drop it on my plate, which starts the serving frenzy and is soon followed by chitchat that I actually almost pay attention to.

I remember snippets of the conversation. Trina got into some school for cosmetology. James got a B on a science test. Tori talks about her mini album and the showcase performance. But my mind is spinning in circles trying not to compare this to a dinner I'd loathed years ago.

I was sitting on dads left, Tommy on his right with his girlfriend of the month, mom to my left. There was utter silence. I was keeping my head bowed, trying to hide the black eye that was covered horribly because I was so tired.

Mom sat with her back ramrod straight, dad hardly touched his food. Tommy and his girlfriend just sat there awkwardly. Nobody was saying anything, and then dad picked up his glass and it knocked against his plate and my mom _exploded. _She started screaming at my dad about how everything wrong was his fault and how I was his fault and how Tommy would be a better kid if it wasn't for my dad and blah, blah, blah.

Mom had a lot to say about me, mostly about my attention seeking behavior because dad was absent. She told him off for the tattoo on my wrist, too. I just sat there, staring at my plate helplessly. Tears burning my eyes, until my mom got up, walked to her room-separate from my dads already- packed a bag and walked out.

Tommy threw me down the stairs that night.

"Jade?" James elbowed me and I blinked, turning to look at my dad who'd called my name, "are you alright?" he asks.

"Yeah, sorry. Didn't get much sleep last night." I go back to picking at my food, feeling the Vega sister's stares on me the whole time. After dinner Tori and I cleaned up while Trina and James played with Jenna. Dad was wandering back and fourth between us and them taking pictures of everything. After that we all cleaned up the living room and sat around drinking coffee, James drinking soda, and joking and laughing with everyone. Tori would get up to do something and alternate between Trina and I when she sat back down.

Trina got up to leave about 6:50 and I wandered off to let them have their goodbyes, heading down the hallway toward our piano room. James has already gone upstairs, so I know I won't be disturbed for awhile. I drop myself down in front of the piano.

My fingers automatically find the keys I want and slowly fill the room with the sounds I want. My eyes close and I bow my head over the keys. "she walks to school with the lunch she packed, nobody knows what she's holdin' back." I can already feel the tears I'd been fighting most of the day surface.

My stomach twists and my heart feels like its shattering into a million pieces, "bearing the burden of a secret storm. Sometimes she wishes she was never born." I sign softly.

"Through the wind and the rain, she stands hard as a stone, in a world that she can't rise above. But her dreams give her wings and she flies to a place where she's loved. Concrete angel." Tori sings when I don't open my mouth. I feel her sitting beside me now.

"Somebody cries in the middle of the night. The neighbors hear but they turn out the lights. A fragile soul caught in the hands of fate. When morning comes it'll be too late." I whisper, my fingers fumble a few notes but I keep playing. Tori's singing the chorus.

"A statue stands in a shaded place, an angel girl with an upturned face. A name is written on a polished rock, a broken heart that world forgot." My voice cracks at the end and tears are pouring in waves down my face as Tori sings the final chorus, her arm wrapping around my back.

I lean against her and just sit there, eyes closed, crying with my fingers still poised to play. We sit there for ten minutes before there's a timid knock on the door and my brother sticks his head in, "can I come in?"

I discretely wipe my face again, checking in my phone that my make up is fixed and I don't look like I was crying. Tori does the same thing and then I wave him in, sitting up straighter, "what do you wanna hear?" He sits down in a chair and requests songs and at some point my dad came in to watch too.


	23. Chapter 23

**Fake It**

**Jade's a great actress, one of the best Hollywood Arts has ever seen. She acts okay, and everyone believes her, everyone that is, except for Tori. After her second break up Jade runs back to her old habits and her bad friends with bad reputations and worse habits. Jade's spiraling down a dark path with only her new found friendship with Tori to keep her a float, will Jade fall down, or will new love pull her free?**

**Rated M**

**I do not own the characters mentioned, the places mentioned, or anything else. If I did jori would be canon and it wouldn't be on Nick anymore.**

**I hope this doesn't seem too rushed.  
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"Jade! Can you take Jenna out for me? I have to get to school and she's eating so slow!" James yelled up the stairs. I was still lying in bed, since I didn't have to take my script writing exam.

"Yeah!" I yelled back. I kicked the sheets away from my body and trudged downstairs where the dog was still slowly chowing down on her puppy kibble. I leaned on the wall watching her eat, every few seconds pausing to circle the kitchen before she went back to eating.

James gave me a hug before he ran out to his carpool. It took Jenna another 15 minutes to finish eating. Once she was done I hooked on her leash and led her out the door. She was pretty good on the leash, but would randomly take off from time to time, dragging me behind her.

I let her go at a park so she could run around, nobody was around and there was a fence. She rushed around happily, did her business, I cleaned it up and we started to walk back home. Everything was great until we made it to the empty lot.

"West!" an angrily familiar voice yelled. I paused and turned toward Ryder who was coming out of the basement. My eyes narrowed at him instantly, "there you are, I've been looking for you forever. I wanted to say my sister was wrong and a liar and I'm sorry." He grasped my arm gently, tugging me toward him as if to hug me.

I pulled away quickly, putting three pieces of sidewalk between us, "I don't know what you think you're doing, but stay away from me, Daniels." I hissed, hoping to set him off. It worked, rage flooded over his face and a satisfied smirk settled on my face.

"You stupid bitch! I was trying to give you a way out. We both know my sister wasn't wrong. You are a whore, but I just hoped you'd make the smart decision." My eyes scanned his face, his eyes were blood shot and glazed over, his lips were cracked and his hands shook, "you need me."

"You need to stop tripping and see the real world Daniels." I took a few more steps away, "I don't want you, I never did. You were an excuse to forget, handy if you want to put it that way. I don't like you, and I don't need you. I'm clean, and I'm happy, and you're a delusional drug addict."

"Oh you're happy? Who're you happy with? Beck? Did he take you back again and force you to get clean." I scowl at him, "maybe that Vega chick." My back stiffens and he notices, a deranged laughter erupts from inside him, "you are with her. You're a fag." He laughs like it's the funniest thing he's ever heard.

Anger seizes me and I stalk toward him and swing my fist straight into his face. He hit the ground easily, I'm sure a feather could have knocked him down. Blood is gushing from his nose and I split his lip worse. Before anything else can happen I spin and sprint toward my house, throwing the door open and slamming it shut behind me. I press my back against it and sink to the ground, tears pouring down my face.

Jenna walks over and wiggles into my lap, her paws on my shoulders as she laps at my cheeks. I wrap my arms around her small body and she rests her head on my shoulder as my fingers find the hook to her leash and undo it. My hands are shaking and it takes a few times for me to get it unhooked and once I do I gently push Jenna away. She hops away from me and lies beside me.

My knuckles hurt, I realize, and they're red. I've never hit someone before, are your hands supposed to hurt? I stare at them, rubbing them softly with my thumb. I stand up walk into the kitchen to get some ice for my hand. Jenna follows me into the kitchen and then up to my room.

The rest of the day is spent with me working on a new script and searching for auditions, something I used to do frequently. I wrote down the few I was interested and went back to my script, doing this until 1 when I took Jenna out a final time, put on a nice pair of jeans and my polo with my name tag on it and went down to the music store.

I texted Tori to let her know I took Jenna out and that I'd be home at 8 and for her to get ready for dinner around then. The store was busier then it had been the last few days. A new CD came out from some stupid pop band Tori likes. Andre got there about twenty minutes after me and helped me keep the shelves stocked.

Recently Silverstone had started keeping band t-shirts and other merchandise in the store since the expansion so Andre and I had to keep rushing back to restock the shirts. I was ready to crash by the time 8 rolled around, but I had plans and I was keeping them.

I grabbed a CD and the shirt paid for them and shoved them into my bag, calling Vega as I crawled into the car. She didn't answer so I assumed she was showering or something so I tossed my phone into the cup holder and headed toward my house.

When I got home I found out she was in the bathroom, and not coming out, "hurry up, reservations have a set time and I need to shower!" I called, heading into her room. I set the CD and shirt on her bed.

She went down the hallway as I was going into my room, dashing quickly down the hall in a towel. I grabbed my outfit for the night and went into the bathroom, I turned on the shower, quickly jumped into it and rushed through cleaning my hair and my skin. I toweled my hair off the best I could, quickly blow it dry and curl it. I drag on a pair of panty hose to keep my legs warm and put on my dress. It was a red tube top dress with black lace covering the top to give it sleeves. I put on my black heels and add a bit of mascara and eyeliner before I pull open the door.

Tori is leaning on the wall across from me in a purple dress with long sleeves and a pair of heels. She smiles at me as she unfolds her arms, straightens and walks over to me putting her arms around my waist, "thanks for the CD and shirt." She gives me a quick kiss, "how was your day?"

"It was okay, how was your exam?" I walk past her into my room to grab my purse and put my wallet and phone into it with the rest of my shit. I grab my car keys and drag the door shut behind myself.

"It was okay. Oh, I got my grade back for my CD! I got an A!" I smile and force myself not to say that I told her so as we walk downstairs.

"That's good, does that mean I get to hear it soon?" I inquire, holding the garage door open for her. She smiles at me instead of answering and walks over to the car, settling into the seat. She crossed her legs and pulled the sunshade down and flipped open the mirror to check her makeup.

I pulled the door shut and got into the drivers seat, opening the garage door before I put my seatbelt on. I turned the car on, backed out of the driveway and slowly rolled down the road. My eyes flicked to the basement where I could see streaks of light, my hand lightly throbbed.

All of the sudden a pop beat filled my ears, great. Vega took control of the radio again. I stared out the window in annoyance. And then her voice reached my ears, and not her singing along to music, her voice through my cars speakers. A smile pulled onto my lips and I lean forward and turn up the volume.

We get half way through the CD before we pull up at the restaurant, West. Tori looks out mildly shocked and turns to look at me to protest, "nope, silence." I cut her off before opening my door. She glowers at me and I smile back before getting out, shutting my door and walking to her side of the car.

I open the door for her and she steps out, staring up at the building, "come on, I'm starving." She snatches my hand and pulls me up to the door of the restaurant while I'm grinning like a madman. We walk up to the hostess podium and I glance around to see if I can find my Uncle Abram, who owns the restaurant, but I don't see him.

Eventually the hostess wanders over through and leads us to our semi-secluded table in the back; after I'm sitting I glance around again before turning to the woman, "Is Abram here tonight?" she nods, "can you let him know Jadelyn is here, please."

"Of course, your waiter will be here soon." She walks away, her ponytail swinging behind her head. I turned to Vega who was looking at the menu with wide surprised eyes. Her eyes roved over the menu with sheer excitement and it made me grin to watch.

She was wearing a bit of purple eyeliner and mascara that made her eyes look like dark pools of chocolate. In the dim light her skin seemed to glow and her smile made her cheekbones stand out even more. I rested my head on my hand and watched her.

"Jadelyn." A deep voice called, when I spun my uncle Abram was standing there holding his arms out. I got up, receiving at confused glance from Tori. I wrapped my arms around my uncle's broad shoulders. He hooked an arm around my back, the other holding a glass of something, "how are you my darling?"

"I'm holding up. How've you been?"

"I'm doing good, I'll come back and interrupt your date later." He gives me another hug before he walks off to another table to deliver a drink. I slip back into my chair just as our waitress came to take our orders. Once she left Tori turned to look at me questioningly.

"He's my uncle, dad's brother. Used to live with us and let me eat here when my dad forgot to buy us food. I haven't seen him in awhile." I explain, "I try not to stop by without a hello. Have you ever been here?"

"No. We didn't go out to dinner unless it was with Aunt Stacy. Otherwise I got delivery pizza or whatever we had around the house. Dad never saw a point in it." She shrugs, falling silent as our waitress drops our glasses off. After the waitress leaves Tori reaches across the table to grab my hand. She rubs her thumb over my knuckles lightly, "what did you hit?"

"Ryder Daniel's face." I mumble, casting my eyes down at the table. I still can't believe I _hit _him. I feel a soft pressure on my hand and look up to see Tori kissing my knuckles gently.

"I'm sorry you hurt your hand." My mouth falls open and I stare at her, "catching fly's isn't a look good on you." She smirks. I snap my mouth shut and stare at her. She lets my hand go and looks around the place, "It's really nice in here. It's so pretty. It just has that cute, passionate, romantic dinner movie feeling to it."

"Yeah…" I trail off glancing around, even though I could tell you every detail about this place without being here, my eyes scan over the dimmed chandeliers, the dark brown leather booths, the cherry red oak tables and the plush red carpets. Soft piano music played over the speakers and there were two candles on each table to create that flickering light effect over the whole place, "The songs I heard sounded great, I can't wait to hear the rest of your CD."

She blushes and giggles and looks down, covering her mouth. I grin and smile at her and when she looks back up at me she ducks her head again still laughing nervously. When she finally stopped she looked up at me and smiled, "thank you."

"You're welcome."

"Foods here." She sits up straighter and grins happily as her steak is laid in front of her. She eyes it hungrily, licking her lips. I'm sure I look just as hungry when mine is placed in front of me, "thanks." She smiles. The girl nods, asks if we need anything and then walks away.

We eat in relative silence, only talking to comment on the food. We're nearly done with our food when my uncle comes over and asks if he can interrupt. Tori instantly motions for me to scoot over so that he can sit down, and then he proceeds to embarrass me for the next twenty minutes, Tori egging him on.

By the time we leave Tori's laughing loudly and my uncle is thoroughly pleased with himself, grinning like a fool as he walks away. I glower at his back before I turn and walk out the door, Tori taking my hand and giving it a gentle squeeze as we push through the doors.

"Thank you for dinner, Jade." She leans over and kisses my cheek before skipping down to the car. I nod and shrug, slipping into the driver's seat. I back out and Tori starts up her CD. We end up driving around aimlessly so I can hear the whole thing, by the time we pull into the garage I'm singing along with her to the song, Make It In America. My personal favorite.

"I, I wanna show some skin, Baby I need the ocean and you can't stop me now I've got my heart in motion, I wanna make it in America. Make it in America." Tori's laughing loudly when I finally shut off the car, "I'm glad you liked it. I think I was more nervous about you liking the CD then my teacher, honestly."

I turn at look at her smiling, "it was amazing, a few songs could use a bit more tweaking, but they were all still pretty great." She smiles at me and I smile wider, leaning over to kiss her softly. She leans closer and threads her fingers through my hair, pulling me closer.

"We should get inside." I mumble when we break apart, "these shoes are killing me and this is an uncomfortable place to kiss." She laughs, but agrees and we head upstairs.

"All of my pajama's are in my laundry basket, can I borrow something of yours?" she asks lingering in my doorway. I nod and motion her over, digging through my drawers to find her a pair of pajamas.

"Thanks." She smiles at me and heads to the bathroom to change. I pull out a pair of pajamas too, kicking my shoes across the room I drag on my pajama shorts and tug the dress over my head. I toss it into my hamper, throw my bra with it and pull on my pajama top.

A yawn escapes my lips and my eyelids start to feel heavy as I wander over to my desk to plug in my phone, ignoring the two texts on it. I crawl into my bed, laying down and stretching out on the bed. It was almost 11 now. I was ready to just pass out.

By the time I felt the bed move, I knew I'd at least fallen asleep a little bit. I forced my eyes open as Tori settled into bed on the other side of me, putting an arm across my stomach and resting her head on my shoulder. I wrapped my arm around her back and closed my eyes again.

"Night Jade." She murmured. She sounded tired, too.

"Night Tori." I felt her shift and she kissed my lips lightly before settling back down. A smile pulled onto my face and my stomach fluttered. I shift a little to get more comfortable, "I could do this forever." I mutter to the silence.

"Me too." I didn't think she was still awake, "I really like you, Jade."

"I like you, too, Vega." I feel her shift against me, moving closer.

"Don't leave anytime soon." She whispers.

"I'm not going anywhere, Tori." I wrap my arm tighter around her back and keep my eyes shut tight, smiling as I feel sleep dig its claws into my brain. I dream I'm walking down the beach with Vega. We're holding hands and kissing periodically, but that's it. No talking. The beach is endless and so is the sunset.

_-Fin. _

**Now I do have an idea for a sequel, but sometimes a story runs its course, like I feel this one has, so I don't know if I'll be posting it. If you guys are interested, I might be swayed, so let me know. But I am working on two new jori stories as well. Thank you for reading, reviewing, favoriting and alerting the story. You're all awesome!**


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